family – Page 9 – The Hermits' Rest

Self Care Begins at Home

How do you practice self-care?

Oh, there’s so much I do to maintain my tranquility. Daily meditation, yoga/stretches, my antidepressant, hanging out with horses, sleeping enough, and plenty of exercise, outdoors. With nature.

Happily, we made it home today, so I can get back to my usual routine. I did plenty of self care when we were traveling, though, including connecting with friends. We got to see my friend Steve again before we left, so I could get a picture.

I also needed to pick up two bags of plarn, yarn made from plastic bags. I sure hope I can make his cousin proud by making something for a charity out of it. I happen to know the stuff is hard to knit and crochet with. Maybe I’ll weave it? We will see.

It was great to get back to central Texas. It’s so green here (thanks to rain), and it’s nice to see creeks and ponds with water in them. I used to make fun of one of my professors who said he was moved emotionally when he first saw corn upon returning to Illinois. Well, I was moved to see my first corn growing in Texas. I should apologize to Jerry, ha ha.

It was good to pet all the the dogs and hug the heck out of Apache. Even Buttercup the chicken was glad to see me.

I was too busy hugging or petting the rest of the animals to get photos.

I’m remembering that my self care is mostly internal, but the little physical things you do for yourself matter a lot. Hmm. It may be time to take a dip in the pool, one of the best self-care things I do.

Spending Time on the Road with Lee

Who do you spend the most time with?

For sure the person I now spend the most time with is Lee, my spouse. When he lived at the ranch and I spent weekdays in Austin, I may have spent more time with Anita, who shared a couple of dwellings with me. I now only see her once or twice a week and Lee every day. Good thing we get along 90% of the time

Yeah, we both get grumpy sometimes. Lee is easily frustrated and snaps. I’m conflict avoidant. But we manage. And we know when to give each other space.

Anyway, we embarked on one of our periodic road trips today, going west this time. We are headed to Sedona, Arizona, where there’s now a condo we can go to. I’m pretty excited about all the nature I can see.

And small towns. No Interstate monotony. That’s tomorrow.

Today we got as far as Clovis, New Mexico. the drive over was filled with oil wells, windmills, and cattle. There are many mega-dairy farms that have to generate massive amounts of methane gas and poop. I feel sad for the cows who never see grass or get to walk around. At least our local beef cattle get to be happy before they get harvested.

More fun was getting to see many big quarter horse ranches and some beautiful horses. Just like at home, we also saw lots of horses in trailers, all saddled up and ready to go work. Modern cowboys work that way.

One of the prettiest towns we went through was Post, where Cameron’s former City Manager went when he got frustrated. It’s quite pretty and has a big lake. Clovis is also pretty, probably because we went through the nicest part of town to find the hotel we are in. They are like oases in the desert.

I didn’t get photos of any of the things I described.

We did see some pretty geological formations in the hilly area we went through before it got REAL flat. It may be flatter than east-central Illinois (the flattest place I ever lived).

I did go outside and find two new birds, even though it was very windy outside. But hey, I was NOT covered with sweat! Dry heat! The birds were Say’s Phoebe and the Curve-billed Thrasher. Both are common here but not where I live. Cool!

I’m looking forward to seeing more new terrain and plants tomorrow.

Chocolate Bars – Really?

Describe your dream chocolate bar.

Who thought of this question? But since I’m tired I’ll answer it.

My dream chocolate bar has milk chocolate, thick, covering it. The interior is a Dulce de leche caramel. Around that is cashews and juicy raisins. The end.

In real life, I love the salted caramel Milky Way.

Other than that, life is good. We celebrated my son’s birthday from last week at our usual Mexican restaurant and it was a lovely evening. It’s so amazing to see us all doing well and happy with our lives.

Life is good, at least at the Hermits’ Rest.

Goodness Gracious I’m Good

What are you good at?

One thing I’m good at is having a consistent meditation practice. I’m not good at some of my more spiritual things (not very expert at Buddhist practices or very organized as a nature worshiper). But by gosh I’m gonna meditate every day. It’s good for me. If meditation offends you, then, I’m silently praying.

My meditation view isn’t as good as it was last week, but there are still flowers.

Hmm, that’s not what I intended to write about, so let’s find something else I’m good at…observing nature! Yeah! I’m extra good at that, and sometimes wish I could have worked as a naturalist in some fashion as a profession.

Striking caterpillar of the Wilson’s Wood-nymph moth

But, I’m also good at writing and editing, so I did get to use that throughout my working years. I can even write academically, but since I became a technical writer, I’ve stuck with simpler word choices and sentence structures, so as not to obfuscate my scintillating pontifications.

That’s not funny, Apache (couldn’t resist posting another yawning photo)

Of course, I’m good at knitting and crochet. I’m crafty, but not necessarily artistic.

I also hope I’m good at supporting my friends and family. That one waxes and wanes, and as long-time readers may know (I do have a beloved child and petulant sister who I did not support to their standards). But hey, I went to see the niece Kathleen in the hospital for her latest spider bite and brought her flowers and a card (along with son and partner). I’d have visited sooner, but I kept thinking she’d come home quickly. Her body just does not deal with spider venom.

Snakes are looking for her. (Non-venomous)

I like all those positive things I’m good at. I used to be very good at putting myself down, blaming myself for everything that went wrong, and contorting myself to try to get people I cared about but who didn’t care about me to change their minds. I’m glad I stopped being so great at those unhealthy traits! I could not make that guy in grad school, my previous spouse, nor my next-door neighbor like me. Now I think it’s their loss.

Also good at overheating and doing that lip thing. Me doing both of those yesterday.

Let’s all try to get very good at cutting our losses and moving on from relationships and situations that aren’t good for our self esteem. I’m quite good at these proclamations. Hear ye, hear ye!

I Truly Loathe Tornadoes

I was going to write about every time a tornado damaged my property or that of someone I cared about, not to mention lost pets and livestock. It goes way back to childhood. No one I knew was killed in one, so yes I should go on and on about how grateful I am and that things can be replaced.

Willows tend to break. But it’s where bird friends live. Hardly any birds out today.

But. Being close to those things can traumatize you. I saw that in my son’s eyes today. We’ve shared tornado trauma, and he had it again yesterday when one came out of nowhere and threw debris around him and his partner. They each made it inside, but my goodness, that was scary, especially when the roof proceeded to peel off.

Anyway, I got all nauseated driving home from our shortened trip to Waco. So many downed trees and damaged buildings. And it was worse in Temple, the closest large town to us. Houses moved off their foundations and such.

Right by our place there were huge round hay bales that flew over the highway. I’d hate to be driving when that happened! We lost a water trough and all my horse training barrels went far away. Glad we’re okay, though.

It just got to me this afternoon and I had to lay down. Goldie joined me and insisted on laying her head on my hand, so I napped as long as she did.

Hope I’m better tomorrow. Too many tornado memories. Do I have any humor?

Humor. Ssssally climbing the wall. She fell right after the third picture.

So Much to Be Happy About

Sure. Given the choice, I’ll choose being happy. I don’t think that was always my choice. Sometimes I chose something other than happiness. Melodrama? Ennui? Risk-taking? Emotional masochism? Whatever it was, it’s gone.

More space in my brain for wildflower appreciation.

That leaves so much room for positive experiences, contentment with whatever comes up, and inner peace. Of course, there are moments of wonder and happy times, but I’m loving the contentment I’ve achieved. More challenges will come up, but I have good tools for coping.

Speaking of challenges, I bet baby Hope will provide some, but cute ones.

Work has been fun, because I’m learning new ideas and helping out others. People are just so interesting when you just observe them and help out. I’m out of the office politics game, and love the detachment.

Just observing and noticing is way better than getting emotionally involved!

Horses are still fun, too. Today was Apache’s lesson and I got to go with Sara. That won’t happen much more in the future, so I enjoyed watching her and Aragorn trying new things.

Apache spent more time getting his hooves trimmed. I think he gets his done as much as I do. But it’s his lot in life, being metabolically challenged.

My new helmet matches all his tack. It even has cactuses on it.

We enjoyed our lesson until side passing time. We just aren’t good at that. I guess we know what to work on!

He’s a good horse. And I washed all the sweat off.

The heat is back, so I’m pretty tired. And my back hurts where I fell from Drew last week. Plus, our pool pump seems to have gone out. Always something to deal with, but hey, I’m not hospitalized like poor Kathleen has been all week (another spider bite). Tomorrow will be better, no doubt!

Maybe I’ll see the black mud daubers! No, these don’t sting you.

Sore and Tired, but Fine!

As it is with car accidents, it takes a while to figure out all the places you hurt when you experience a “sudden dismount.” For example, when I’d just found myself on the ground, my shoulder and head hurt the most. But my rear end and arms are now bruised up, not the shoulder. My headache is mild, but all my core muscles are yelling at me. That’s probably from trying to stay up.

But let me tell you! Aleve (naproxen) is a miracle drug! I took two around 9 am and I felt ok until around 8 pm. They aren’t kidding with that 12-hour claim. Tomorrow I’ll just take one. I could tell I was sore all day, but I could walk, drive, bend over, and pick up 50-pound bags of horse feed. My bicep did complain at the latter, but the horses had to eat and their bins were empty.

I admit I did spend a little time today just watching these guys. (Hackberry Emperor)

Speaking of horses eating things, I was disappointed that Apache stopped taking his Prascend embedded in Sara’s fancy cookies. But she turned me on to something better, which I think Tarrin mentioned, too: sweet senior feed.

I guess it’s horse crack, chocolate brownie, or something. It’s pretty much the exact opposite of what Apache should eat. But he didn’t even notice his pill inside a handful of this stuff. Let’s hope it works, because I have 50 pounds of it and I’m certainly not giving it to the other horses.

I’m glad I’m back to enjoying the horses a bit more. They all seem content. It helps that it didn’t rain for two days so the pens aren’t solid mud. Of course, rain is coming tomorrow.

We will eat anything, including coconut.

I had a nice dinner with my son and his partner tonight. They were pretty chipper for people who had just returned from a challenging family trip. They figured out how to make the best of it, which ain’t easy. Those two are really thriving right now, and that makes me quite pleased.

Like this American Snout, they have good perspective (look at its little curled proboscis!)

I guess we are all looking at the positive side of our challenges right now. I hope it’s contagious!

Career Daze

What is your career plan?

I’m sort of past the career planning phase. I am pleased with what I eventually accomplished in my rambling career path. I helped lots of people learn various things and succeed with their research, parenting, or business goals. I parented two people who grew to adulthood and are contributing to society. And l learned a lot!

I guess I went through all those stages, and became a butterfly whose mission is fulfilled but still wants to fly around some.

Now, as I approach the traditional retirement age, I have no desire to stop helping others or learning. I really have no desire to stop doing my current paid job, but if it ends, I’ve got plenty to do and ideas for more nature education activities.

So, no plan. Just possibilities. As a pretty healthy person in early old age with enough income to support myself, I have the luxury to wait and see what’s next.

Time to be strong as I can and fly, like a tiger bee fly.

What shall this privileged person do to improve her world? We will see. I just need to stay positive and open to possibilities.

Enough drivel for one night.

Early Beltane Greetings

What is your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite?

I’m not very big on holidays, but I enjoy observing the changing seasons. May 1 is Beltane in the tradition I follow. It’s the big fertility celebration where all the flowers are blooming and you dance around the maypole, a thing I’ve done many times.

This cheerful day flower welcomes the changing seasons.

I like a holiday that’s all for fun, isn’t commercialized, and provides a chance to be as wild as you want to be. I’ll probably pick a May basket full of flowers and make a nice bouquet tomorrow.

That will be after my doctor appointment, where I have to get tests done to be allowed to continue my thyroid medication, followed by the equine dentist, another yearly traditional event at the ranch. I hope I can worm the horses while they’re sedated. That should end the parade of horse health expenses for a while.

Today was a first for me in a couple of ways. First, Drew kicked me for daring to try to groom his right side. He really doesn’t want me grooming him, so I guess I’ve been a bad horse owner and traumatized him.

I feel pretty awful about that and confused about what to do. On the one hand I’m supposed to be firm and set boundaries and on the other I’m not supposed to react. I’ll keep trying. My thigh sure hurts. Interesting that he doesn’t mind me cleaning 3/4 of his hooves, and is happy to be haltered and walk with me.

Second, I gave a living being a shot of medicine. Yes, this was after getting kicked. Drew was fine about that. He gets a shot a month from now on for arthritis pain. I’m proud I remembered how to do it. Maybe Tarrin will think I still have some potential as a horse person.

Speaking of pain and meds, Apache is feeling lots better. I’m pleased that he’s walking and trotting well without the boots on. He volunteered to canter but I had him stop. It wasn’t going well and he was hopping. Still, good news that he tried. He seemed energetic.

Also good is that he is now taking his medication like a champ, thanks to the magical cookies Sara made for Aragorn. Aragorn didn’t like them, but Apache seems to look forward to them. I guess I’ll have to get the recipe!

No new Apache pictures, so enjoy this very large mushroom.

Kathleen says this is my week for challenges, after getting stuck in the mud yesterday and kicked today. I’m trying to adopt her attitude of laughing the challenges off and staying positive.

Nature Triumphs Over Suna

Argh. I really wanted to go to the far reaches of the ranch to find more insects and plants for the City Nature Challenge today. I’d gathered a few observations while enjoying spider webs in foggy weather, but I knew there were more interesting things at the highest part of the ranch.

So I waited until my lunch break and got into our utility vehicle, Hilda, to head out. All went well at first I got I see the red ant colony that’s been here since I’ve lived here, and documented our more interesting cottonwood and oak trees.

The problem was that since it rained so much yesterday, I couldn’t get where I wanted to go. There was a pretty significant seasonal stream leading from the back of the ranch to Walkers Creek that made it hard to get over.

If only I were a cow I could wade across it.

I rode all over the pasture looking for a crossing. This annoyed the cows and calves very much. eventually I came to where the folks who work the cattle cross in their trucks. Hooray! The low water crossing!

I was wrong. The mud was like quicksand and even in four-wheel drive, I couldn’t get across. Nature said, “Ha ha, I’m in charge!” I was stuck. In black muck. How embarrassing. I was not going to make it to my destination!

Luckily it’s really pretty where I was stuck.

I managed to exit Hilda and call Lee to bring the tractor to pull me out. Of course, while I waited I took pictures of what I saw. At lest I found a dragonfly, a spider, and a cool robber fly that looks like a bumblebee.

Soon enough, Lee showed up with the tractor. I was glad until I realized I’d have to crawl in the sticky mud to attach the chains to drag Hilda out. nope, that was not fun. I hate mud. I really hate clay mud.

I did it, though! And after we freed Hilda from the mud, I was rewarded by finding this cool funereal duskywing at the gate out of the pasture. Seems perfect.

I am DONE with the City Nature Challenge! I got over 400 observations, and that’s enough. I got a few more this evening, but no way was I going to risk my safety to get more bugs on my list!

Y’all are lucky I drank an entire bottle of wine this evening so I didn’t feel like sharing the details of my struggle.

Nature, you win.