Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
This is another trick question. I’m doing my best to stop myself if I start dwelling on the past (except good memories!). And I don’t think it’s healthy to do what I call pre-worrying about what might happen if circumstances go in ways we would like to avoid. That leads people like me to worse anxiety or even ulcers.
This chain got up on the gate thanks to worrying about future dog escapes. The big dogs could climb it.
I think one of the most helpful things I’ve learned from studying Buddhism is the idea of living in the moment. The more I do this, the more content I am in my life and the more joy I can find.
A part of the past I do like to think about is when this cute kitchen was built. We want to preserve it in our renovation. Retro chic.
No one can prevent thinking about the past and future all the time. What I try to do is see what can be learned from past events, and I try to figure out what I can control or affect positively in the future. I learned that from my spouse’s study of Stoicism. It’s made a huge difference for both of us.
Daily Birds
Today was wet and chilly. In the morning there were mostly the usual birds. But it was so quiet that I could hear wing flaps from vultures flying over. Merlin identified three birds that were surprising because we aren’t in their range: Swainson’s thrush, Black-capped chickadee, and Western wood pewee. Maybe the storms brought them over. Or maybe there was a software glitch. The chickadees look really similar but have different calls, so you’d think that would be right. It’s a mystery.
I turned the app on in the late afternoon to see if there were any different birds, and sure enough, there were two ducks, the common mallard and blue-winged teal. I’m hearing lots more ducks and geese this year!
The gift I want most in the world would be to repair my relationship with my older son and come to some kind of mutual acceptance of each other, just as we are. Understanding of perceived mistakes or failings on each of our parts is something we could do. I’d be willing to try. Anyone willing to help bring us back together would receive my eternal gratitude.
Foggy morning leads to melancholic musings
Well, that’s not something I foresee happening after five years. So I’ll add that the greatest gifts I do receive are friendship and acceptance. I think we all would like to feel accepted and like we fit in. I treasure my community of kind and open hearted friends who accept each other, warts and all.
Foggy bovine
Online friends count, too. So many of us would feel very isolated if it weren’t for our friends who are connected on social media, on video chats, and in blogs. Social media is NOT all bad.
Daily Bird
Well, there weren’t many birds out today, because it was so foggy and cold.
Chilly birds.
The highlight today was the reappearance of one of my favorites, the barred owl. I’ve read that barred owls and great horned owls don’t like to live together, so I was happy to hear one this morning. Hooray!
Well, that’s a question with a lot of assumptions behind it. Who says all bloggers go to college? I’d have preferred something like, “Where did you get your education?” (From where?) I realize there are people would give flippant answers, like “the school of hard knocks,” but you’d also get interesting insights into folks with non-traditional paths.
Mother Nature is also a great teacher.
I was VERY traditional. After four years of attending a large high school in suburban Ft Lauderdale, Florida (unfortunately named Plantation High School), I spent four years at a large state university. The years at the University of Florida had a lot of good parts. I learned a lot, screwed up my personal life irreparably, and thoroughly enjoyed living in my home town again. My studies focused on linguistics, Japanese, and cinema studies (my boyfriend’s major). I’m extremely grateful to the National Merit Scholarship system, which allowed me to attend college even though my family was not well off and my mother had many medical bills.
See the bright spot under the sun? That’s the bit of flooding we got last night. It was a good rain.
I then went to the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign for graduate school. Fun fact: both the schools I attended have orange and blue as their school colors. At least gators add green to the mix. UI are the Fighting Illini, which I was shocked to discover pronounced the last two vowels like “eye,” not “ee.”
There I studied pragmatics, syntax, and semantics. I learned to write well and to teach adults. I loved teaching. Academic writing, not so much. My topic got really boring, which is why I’m not a professor right now.
My favorite thing on campus was the beautiful statue of Alma Mater welcoming students and graduates, by Lorado Taft. It was always a happy sight.
Image in Public Domain
If you’re still awake, I can give you my highlights of the day. First, I finished my giant three-part 2023 temperature blanket.
Part 3, on a chair.
The last square is a handy key to the colors. I included the white, silver and purple that would have indicated 0° to 25° even though it never got that cold. Maybe this year! Or not! I could do without the Polar Vortex they keep threatening us with.
Far left is 105-109, far right is 0-4.
I’ll write up an official summary once I figure out how to get a photo of the whole thing.
Daily Birds
Second, two birds made me happy today. One was the first bird Merlin heard, a yellow-bellied sapsucker. I think I’ve now recorded all the woodpeckers that live here.
When I lived in Illinois, we had a sweet gum tree in our back yard. Every year one of these little guys would come and drill a new row of holes in that tree. It was so much fun to watch it working away, and the holes were a wonderful remembrance.
The other bird that brought joy today has already been the Daily Bird, but I was excited to actually see the great horned owl today. Yes, that blob in the photograph was hooting.
I also enjoyed my sparrow buddies a lot. The Harris’s sparrows were singing and playing this afternoon. I hadn’t heard them in a few days. They fed in the trees next to me for a while, so I got good views, though obscured by branches. Here are some photos of them, the other sparrows, and cardinals in the brush and trees. Yes, it’s a brown world right now, but I like brown.
The WordPress folks have a new set of prompts for this month, so I’ll try to answer them, for fun. The first one was about challenges. Oh what fun. I don’t have all night to spend on this topic!
Neither do I
What’s not a challenge is making New Year’s dinner. My black-eyed peas, collard greens, and cornbread came out delicious, for the four of us who could make it. We made plates to take to Lee’s brother and Anita, who came down with the flu, and have plenty of leftovers. Success!
On to the challenges
So, my main challenge these days is a lack of self confidence, I think. I always think I can’t do new things, so I put them off or avoid things. Learning horsemanship has helped me a lot with this. I’m making myself try new things and I’m often succeeding or making a good try. I think this new bravery is manifesting in other areas, which is really great.
One I’m not doing as well with these days is expressing myself without offending people I care about or causing problems. So I’ve been much quieter for the past year or so than I used to be. These days it’s probably safer to keep some kinds of opinions to yourself but I do want to advocate for myself at work and in other personal areas.
Got any funny challenges?
I’m also tired of being vertically challenged. I wish I could reach things without stools and mount a horse from the ground. There, a less serious one.
A final challenge is figuring out when or if I can retire from full time work. There are too many factors for me to figure out right now. More on that in the coming months.
That’s enough of that list.
It was cold and windy, so there weren’t many birds. However, there was a brief moment of sun that encouraged the white-throated sparrows to launch into a concert. Their song is hauntingly beautiful. It has three or four slight variations, like a fugue. What a greeting for 2024!
Sure, the past few years have had their challenges. However, there’s lots to be happy about, too. Let’s take a moment to appreciate what went well. While I’m sharing a few things, you can be thinking of yours.
I just want to start by being asap and declaring that how much better my relationship with my spouse is now. We’ve hit a really good spot. The time we’ve spent out camping and hiking has been a real highlight of the year.
We had fun
Next on my list of things that were positive has to be my growth with my horse relationships. Drew and I have been in and off, but the last couple of weeks have been so much improved. He’s such a sweet horse. Today he even let me put his bridle on without complaining. It helps that he doesn’t have a headache!
I took him to the yummy grass as a reward today.
Apache and I have had some amazing moments, too, and I’m focusing on them while his foot recovers from the abscess and he gets used to his daily medication. He still acts stoned much of the time. But our relationship is so much better than ever. That’s what counts.
He’ll be better soon!
Learning to listen to bird calls thanks to the Merlin Bird ID app has greatly added to my quality of life. I treasure my bird watching and listening time! Today was a WOW bird time. There were hooded mergansers in the bottom pond today! So glad I had my binoculars, because I’d have missed them otherwise.
I saw the ducks when trying to watch the egret catch fish. They look like blobs in the photo.
The ducks didn’t even come up as a possibility in Merlin, but they’re rather unmistakable.
Aren’t they cool?
I wrote up all the birds I saw or heard here at the ranch this month. There were 71!
That doesn’t count anything I saw in Milano or Canyon Lake!
I’ll be interested to track bird numbers each month next year.
Other good things? I’ve enjoyed my work, which is always a plus. The Red House on Fannin has been profitable as a short-term rental. I’ve only had a few issues with depression and anxiety. My physical health has been really good, too.
I’m like a tree adding strong new rings. And my hollow spots hide surprises.
I have become comfortable in my friendships and community relationships here in Cameron, too. It’s nice to have a bit of a social life with meaningful connections in person. It’s community and connection with friends and family that will help deal with the inevitable challenges in 2024.
Here’s my friend’s leg, with two dogs asking for attention. All part of the community!
There’s always something out there to be grateful for!
Once again, Goldie the Mighty Huntress has tangled with her striped nemesis, one of our local skunks.
I made the smelly part of the couch smellier
It happened last night, which we figured out when we tried to stop Penney from blocking Goldie from coming upstairs. We then praised Penney!
This morning Vlassic investigated where the skunk was. He heard something and turned tail to run. He’s experienced skunks.
At least this time she didn’t kill and try to eat it, which last time resulted in months of skunk breath and a disgusting mess for me to remove. No, this was just a light spray.
Light as a butterfly.
Of course a light spray leads to a stinky house nonetheless. My office, where she sleeps, is the worse. Good thing I don’t work until Tuesday!
Bonus painted lady.
It’s already better after I’ve used Febreeze and Lysol. No, friends, tomato juice doesn’t work. We put dog-safe stuff on Goldie, too. I forget what it is.
Caracara, hawk, and moon.
Our dinner guests tomorrow will just have to deal with it.
Everything else is fine. I did all my normal stuff, like nail polish and schooling Drew. Apache was seen trotting, but not easily. More epsom salts for him.
New Year’s nails
By the way I’ve appreciated comments after yesterday’s post. Thanks!
In bird news, I watched a great egret catch two fish and did not appreciate seeing a hawk over by the horses near my chickens. I think something was after Billie Idyll yesterday. Hope for the best.
You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?
Not much going on out of the ordinary today so let’s answer this one. If I had my ideal setup for reading and writing, it would involve a comfy daybed with a ton of soft pillows to ensure comfort no matter what I’m doing: reading, writing, knitting, or looking at birds, plants, and animals. That’s because the daybed is in the woods! But with climate control and no way for flies, mosquitoes and mice to get in.
Mr. and Mrs. Caracara are disappointed that I’m not building my little room.
Well, it’s a fantasy.
Mrs. C leaves in a huff.
In real life, Apache still walks okay and trotted a little on the lead line. He volunteered. I made him stop. He and I had a nice time with bur removal, too. He’s a friendly fellow and so patient on his new meds. I can’t find the abscess, though.
Dusty sticks his tongue out at my inability to find an issue.
Drew got his assigned exercise today though he wasn’t thrilled. Neither horse will enjoy getting back into shape. But it will pay off.
They don’t get to loll around like Goldie.
In extra mundane news, I’ve managed to misplace next year’s journal. That was the day’s bummer. How can I write in my forest hut with no journal?
Four previous journals. Before this I used large black notebooks for about five years. They’re still packed.
Luckily they still sell them and they are inexpensive, so I ordered more. I like consistency in my record keeping, it appears. I’ll have one in time to set up my beloved bullet journal for a fourth year in a row.
I skipped yesterday because I just spent the day cooking and being with my current nuclear family. I’m proud I didn’t spend any money on gifts this year or on commercial aspects of American Xmas. I just didn’t want to be all consumerist like I used to be. I did give my son and his partner the thermal stitch hot pads I’d made, though. I hope to take Anita on a trip next year as a gift.
We can fly away, like this red-shouldered hawk.
I didn’t even buy any food for dinner. I cooked a giant pork loin that was in the freezer. Half of it will magically reappear at New Year’s. I made dressing with bread cubes leftover from Thanksgiving and served vegetables and cranberry sauce I already had in the pantry. So there! The meal was just fine, and the conversation, laughter, and low stress among our group was marvelous. Success.
I thoroughly enjoyed spending the day looking at birds, which I did a lot of today, too. I saw pairs of kingfishers and caracaras, which makes me hope they are nesting. And today I got to watch a flock of chickadees eating at the stand of trees near the creek bridge. They are so comical. I heard them make a song I’d never heard them make before, too.
Tree full of tiny birds. Honest.
A day off really goes fast if you spend much of it watching little peeping things, and before I knew it, the time for a horse lesson had come. Droodles got to go again, since Apache was on sick leave. He was much better today about bur removal and seemed in better spirits, like his old friendly self.
Not Drew, but fun chickadees.
Speaking of much better, when Sara pulled up with her trailer and Aragorn, all the horses got excited. I enjoyed watching Mabel and Dusty gallop up to the pens, calling out. But after they stopped, I still heard thundering hooves. It was Apache! There he was cantering at great speed to check things out. He didn’t look very lame at all! Maybe his abscess has burst. I’ll check first thing tomorrow, since it was too dark when I got home to look, but he was walking normally. Yay! I may have both my horses back available to ride!
We will be out stabbing our poles at that bull again in no time. (Setting sun lit up the trees.)
Drew’s lesson showed he’s feeling better, but a bit out of shape. There was some huffing and puffing in his part, which looked so endearing. I enjoyed watching Tarrin work with him and got to ride a bit myself, which I was glad for, since riding makes my back feel better. Aragorn is also making some great progress as well. I enjoy watching Sara’s lessons. We each benefit from what the other is learning.
Happy trails to us!
Bonus enjoyment came when we got to watch the sun setting right as the full moon was rising. We all got to enjoy that!
Huh? Well. I just noticed that all my blog hits today come from the year we went to an old but comfy condo in Bandera where I enjoyed many deer, cats, and vultures. There, I discussed participating in the invented holiday Nestivus, which is just for introverts who need to recharge from holiday activities.
Penney and I hid in the woods a while.
This entire Christmas season I’m engaging in Nestivus, which requires one to retreat to your refuge and veg, zone out, and nest in comfy clothing, with your furry friends. It’s a great idea, and I’m grateful to the blogger who invented it in 2019. Ah, back when people had fun I. Groups and needed to retreat.
Harvey was happy to Nestivus with Lee when we came home.
I guess someone linked to my old post, which is nice!
Anyway, maybe next year will find me more enthusiastic about decorations, presents, and all those modern Christmas things. Currently I’m advocating for peace on earth and good will to all.
I wish you all the chance to find small things of beauty around you. Isn’t this Texas nightshade berry bright?
It rained a lot at Canyon Lake and the Hermits’ Rest overnight. We came home to the usual results of over two inches of rain: a flooded creek.
Usually you see no water from here
I enjoyed listening to birds, checking out the creek and trying to feed filthy horses when we got home. All horses had rolled in mud and burs. Great. But the rain is appreciated and enough of a seasonal gift for me.
Now you know why they call it a flood plain. At least twice a year this pasture floods. That’s as far as it will come up. Across the road, also wet. Our house and the neighbors’ house are on hills, which is smart. Happy lichen.
Enjoy your Nestivus celebration, when you get the chance to have it, and in the meantime, enjoy family and celebration if that’s happening for you.
I like this question, because it ties in with what fun I’ve been having lately, including last night. In the past year or so since we started camping and I got in the habit of going outside to do some of my meditation, it’s become very clear to me that the woods bring me great joy.
The old willow tree by the spring in our woods.
I’ve had so many fantastic experiences in the woods these past months, where I find myself all alone with my heart swelling and a huge smile on my face. Yesterday when I heard the huge murmuration taking flight, when I found a nightjar sitting in a tree, gazing at the huge oaks and elms, watching deer and armadillo grazing with no fear. Ah.
I loved watching this doe earlier this year
Last night I had another magical woodland experience. I attended a solstice party at a home in the middle of a dense woods. I felt so at peace there from all the good energy and loamy scents.
Just a glimpse into the nighttime woods.
We wandered beautifully designed paths through the trees near the house, where there was gurgling water and other animal and bird habitat.
This may look like mud, but it’s part of the gurgling water that keeps our woodland happy.
We enjoyed a huge bonfire and honored the return of the light by gazing at the moon surrounded by a halo. It was wonderful to be in the woods with friends, since I’m usually alone. By the time the evening was over, I was practically oozing contentment. I’m glad I got a nice big dose of forest energy. I left with much more holiday spirits than when I arrived.
Nothing better than a good solstice fire.
When are you most happy?
Winter moon.
Yuletide blessings to all of you readers! Here are some bonus pictures for you!
Moon and treesMoon halo!Goldie enjoying the sun Fire shadowsMy bird habitatOur Osage Orange tree. Where the pileated woodpecker was. No cool holesRecent photos
The Hermits' Rest 