daily life – Page 3 – The Hermits' Rest

Super Fail (plus birds)

Cooking is not my favorite activity but I’m usually fairly good at it. Today was probably my worst cooking failure ever. Well, maybe the time I burned hard-boiled eggs was worse.

Anyway, I wanted to make a roast, and Lee had bought me all the things to go with it. I put it in the oven with potatoes and onions to cook slowly in my covered ceramic baking dish. I added some beautiful carrots later.

When I went to see if the food was cooked, the carrots were charred and smoking. The potatoes in the baking dish were also burned.

It appeared I’d cooked it at the wrong temperature.

I took it all out of the oven and pried the carrots out of the oval glass dish they’d blackened. Then I thought I should soak the dish so it would be easier to clean. You can guess what happened.

Pow!

The second water hit it, the glass shattered. It was still too hot. Lucky for me, shards were contained in the sink and none went down the drain.

That’s all the glass after I got it out of the sink.

Well, the food was delicious, if over-cooked. It added the excitement that was missing from the Super Bowl. I’ll spare you any entertainment analysis. There’s enough of that!

Instead you can enjoy the miniature Danish protest hat I made today using fine yarn and small needles. I’m using it as an accessory on my backpack, since I think wool hat weather won’t be around much longer.

Bird News

Ah birds. Sometimes they poop on you or peck at your fingers when you’re trying to fix their water dish (Darryl Junior). But mostly they’re gently entertaining. That’s very true this time of year when they’re getting ready for migrating, nesting, and love.

The first sign of bird love season is the arrival of the Purple Martins. I’d been hoping the ones who were here last year would return, and sure enough, the first scouts arrived last week. After Merlin Bird ID heard them three days in a row, I looked up blog posts by my friend Donna, who always wrote about them for the Master Naturalist group. Yep, hers usually arrive a bit before Valentine’s Day. I’m so happy we have repeat visitors and that our woodpeckers have made nice homes for them.

Another sign is the male songbirds start singing their melodic mating calls. So far I’ve noticed the Carolina Chickadees, Cardinals, and Mockingbirds are trilling away. Oh boy, I can do without the long, extended Mockingbird sonatas.

I’m expressing myself now. No more chirp chirp.

The Mockingbirds are also doing something unusual, and that’s gathering in groups and chasing each other around, complete with scolding and shouting calls. I wonder if they’re pairing off, dividing up territory, or what?

You can’t see them, but the birds were chasing each other through these trees.

I’m used to seeing large groups of Cardinals, especially after fledging time, but not Mockingbirds. I’ll have to investigate!

Challenging day at work tomorrow, so I’m off to sleep. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

You Have to Laugh

I used to know someone who, whenever something odd happened, would say, “I just had to laugh.” She said it often.

I said it today when once again I was so upset by the Racist in Chief, then my job took an unexpected turn. Might as well laugh at how fleeting the sense of things being not so bad can be.

Luckily I just read an essay by a Black womanly journalist (these are pertinent to the story) who said that constantly getting caring folks riled up and feeling powerless might not be the right tactic if we want to head toward some sense of safety and equality. We need to empower our allies and friends to learn to laugh at how desperate some folks are to hang on to their perceived power and status that they do more and more ridiculous things that even their loyal minions are starting to find distasteful.

That’s what all bullies do, try to put others down to build themselves up. Or to massage their egos. I’m grateful that my ego doesn’t need fawning, flattery, and faux awards to build myself up. I just have to laugh at those sad needs of the Head Bully.

Ah, a weekend is welcome right now, so I can gear up to support my colleagues next week. My drive to rally the troops is very strong.

I’ll continue to make attractive squares in sets of nine or ten, too.

And beware that I’m prepared to call out anyone else around me who’s all proud of their white supremacy. I’ve had enough of that crap. Right and wrong are still right and wrong, and racism, homophobia, and misogyny are wrong. That’s not just for us highly educated old white ladies; it’s for everyone. (I think I’m fed up and no longer laughing.)

A Short-eared Owl was hooting when I took this photo.

A Little Good News Means a Lot

After my deep funk last night, I wasn’t all that well prepared for today, but by the time you get to be a senior citizen, you know that “fake it ‘til you make it” is a real life hack. So I hacked my way through the day and have emerged unscathed. The day was fine, successful even!

I got through my long webinar like a seasoned veteran (oh wait, I AM a seasoned veteran). My colleagues helped out with questions and I think everyone was happy enough. And I spent the rest of the day cheerfully doing my things.

And I finally heard that my contract was being extended until June, which pleases me very much. I’d been recruited by another company to do a similar job, but I was more interested in staying where I am, because it’s such a collaborative environment. So, good news there. We will see how I feel this summer about taking a break or what.

Lee and the dogs vote for taking a break.

The other factor that’s encouraged me today was that I realized I’m not waking up every day to worse and worse news in the US. It’s now like 50/50 ratio of disgusting to encouraging! I just hope we can someday go back to not being “led” by lying pedophiles and their amoral puppeteers. Feel free to disagree on your own blog!

Humor break. I set my phone down on the bed with the camera on. I noticed a camera icon on my watch and used it to take a picture from the bathroom! Nice ceiling, huh?

The weather is warming up, too. Birds are singing love songs and Apache may well be starting to shed. Between him and Alfred, the birds have lots of nesting material!

Strength Takes Energy

I have been working hard the past five years or so to stay strong, see the good in the world around me, and like myself.

Damn. That takes a lot of energy. I had to spend an hour today being my confident, most impressive self. I did very well. But once I was done, I kind of deflated.

Right now I just want to sink into the floor and disappear. I’m feeling so despondent about how the powerful abuse the powerless, how fragile friendships can be, and how hard it is to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

My crafting compulsion kept me company. I have cute little rose gold squares to share.

Tomorrow I have to get up and lead a webinar and be kind but firm as I go over more changes in how to use the software I support. I enjoy helping folks out, a lot. It’s simply difficult to muster the energy to project confidence and be clear as I go over complex topics. Confidence, clarity, complexity. That last “c” makes the first two challenging.

I know I’m not alone in feeling burned out from trying to project hope and confidence. I say we all need to give ourselves permission to rest, recover, and recharge as often as needed. It’s not a sign of weakness!

I’m sure I’ll feel better in the morning and enjoy the presentation. if not, I’ll do it anyway.

Just a Bit o’ Nature

I’m so tired. Trying to work and take in the negativity in the world takes a lot of energy.

The best part of the day was that it warmed up enough to go sit with the birds for a half hour after work. Bluebirds were singing and singing for some reason, which was heavenly. And so many woodpeckers, including Flickers, added to the chorus.

That helped.

Tomorrow is a long day of stressful meetings. At least there are few days like that in this job.

Just keep doing your best. That’s my goal.

Sometimes You Have to Do Chores

Today I did so many items on the to-do list, but at the end of the day, I didn’t feel very accomplished. I was trying to get my chores done so I could spend some time in contemplation, which is what I usually do for this time of year, Imbolc or Candlemas.

One of the things people did in the past was sweep out the house and clean the hearth, as the goddess/saint of this time of year is Brigid, patron saint of Ireland, fire, keeping house, and spinning. Among other things.

No wonder I’ve been in such a frenzy of tidying up (though it may not look like it everywhere In the house). I usually light a bunch of candles, but I will tomorrow night.

Commemorative rock. I’m making one for each sabbat this year.

Chores are things that repeat over and over, just like cleaning your living space, so it’s appropriate I spent so much time getting my journal ready for a new month, cataloging all the birds I’ve seen in January, getting food ready to cook…etc., all of which mostly matters to only me.

Kestrel was bird of the month. Photo by Adam Bowley.

The fowl were happy that one chore was buying a new supply of feed and scratch, along with new meal worms. I wish I could trust the local feed store, because I hate having to drive to the next town to get this stuff and horse feed. It took forever to organize the food, because somehow mice had gotten into my supposedly sealed food bin, so I had to chase them around and scoop them out. Plus there was a rather bold field rat who I had to chase out (not one of the cute cotton rats, a BIG one. I’m about tired of rats. Why don’t those cats I keep seeing eat them?

I also eat mice. And when I run, the earth moves beneath my feet.

And to top it off, lifting the heavy feed bags messed up a nail. Oh yeah, weekly manicure is also a chore, though fun.

At least I was able to get the horses fed and watered while it was above freezing. They are eating like, well, horses. I’m glad I have a lot of hay and that mice can’t get in their food bins.

When I finally got to be indoors, I had to do minutes of the Master Naturalist board meeting from Thursday and put up a blog post. By the time I was done with computer work, my contemplation time was no longer available. A bit of yarn work was all I could fit in. I was disappointed to not finish my hat tonight, but I’ll make it (and finishing January on the temperature blanket) a priority for tomorrow.

Chores never end. Still, stop and acknowledge the change of seasons when you can. The light is coming back!

Craft Update

I have a couple of crafty updates on something other than my temperature blanket, for once. Oooh, aah.

First, my craft closet has been in a state of disrepair for a few months, because one of the shelves Lee put up for me collapsed and spread all kinds of mess, including hundreds of photos, all over the floor. And I admit that I had little motivation to fix it back up, because there just weren’t enough shelves in it to hold my vast holdings of books, yarn, needles, looms, etc.

Yes, I have two simple looms, one Cricket and one Navajo. I would actually like to make some tapestry and such. Later. You know, when I retire. Ha ha.

Anyway, my personal contractor/child, who’s been helping out with some projects here, made me a new, sturdier shelf to replace the broken one plus a few more to turn what was once a clothing closet into the craft closet I’ve been wanting for 12 years. I feel so pampered!

Shelving. Not showing the work in progress boxes of yarn on the floor.

There was a narrow area that just cried out to have more shelves, so he put some there, too. I thought it was nice of him to make them match, even though I said there was no need to paint them. I’m the only one who will be looking in there.

Now my den area is still full of yarn and endless tote bags of sad unfinished projects. I should be able to organize everything in the next few days though I may need to think about yarn organization. Some I’m giving

I got a good portion of the books up. Pardon the giant circular knitting needle holder at left. It works!

One of the good things about going through my yarn and needles is that I found things that I could used (in addition to my depressing basket of sock yarn that moths attacked). I located all my sets of circular needles, all of which were missing size 4, the size I use most. I suspect I’ll find those among some of my WIPs (works in progress). I think a few of those may end up being frogged (rip it, rip it) and the needles put back into circulation.

It’s okay, though, because I finally found the set of short size 4 tips and a shorter cable. This has enabled me to start a new hat with some beautiful red wool I found. So far it’s an inch of K1 P1 ribbing.

I already finished one hat of this pattern, which knitters around the US are making as a sign of solidarity with friends and family who are in places where fear is growing. I couldn’t find enough red yarn last week to finish my first try, so I made one in a gray gradient (Mandala) acrylic yarn. I added a red tassel. It came out great and I can wear it without looking silly.

I didn’t enjoy the needles I found, which were aluminum with pretty stiff cables for knitting in the round. The yarn is not annoying for acrylic, either. But I’m enjoying the nice Peruvian wool, wooden needle, and flexible center very much.

Really easy pattern, and probably best for four double-pointed needles, but I’m stubborn.

It’s pleasing to have more craft work to do, since I have no more horse lessons and it’s been too cold and soggy to walk or ride. I found even more red yarn (a beautiful Malabrigo) but I can see it’s a moth victim. Never fear, though, I ordered some inexpensive wool from Michael’s so I can make a couple more for non-crafty friends.

You can see the needles I didn’t like in this photo, sort of. And the cool yarn.

Naturally, looking at all my “stuff” reminded me of my unfinished needlepoint and some cross stitching I once wanted to do. Hmm. What will I switch to? I vow to pass some of my stash on to others though, especially since my next-door neighbor is crocheting up a storm.

I’m hopeful that life is settling down a bit, at least on the home front. It’s back to being normally cold for here. That’s a relief. And tomorrow I won’t write a post full of knitting jargon!

The Calm before…

Oh you know the phrase. Yes, everyone in the southeast of the USA knows a storm is coming. We’ve all bought bread, milk (ok, not me), flashlight batteries, and foods that don’t need refrigeration, so we can keep the doors shut if the Texas power grid fails again.

I don’t think the mistletoe will have problems with the weather unless the branch it’s on breaks.

Animals are safe, too. Got food and shelter. And Carlton is healing well. Relief.

My plans are to stay home and inside other than feeding equines and fowl. I have appropriate clothing for that.

Our winter red-stem storksbill will probably be fine, too.

Tomorrow I have lots of work to keep me busy and this weekend I have crafts (making a hat), reading, and talking to friends to occupy my time.

And I’m feeling better, thanks to my extended community. I’m so grateful.

The Day DID Get Better

No kidding, today started out like nothing was going to go right. My first sight, when I went out to check the exciting .04” of rain we got, was an unpleasant unalive mammal. An hour or so later I stepped in gross septic water because it was draining near the chicken pens.

They do have a new entrance ramp, though.

Next I sprayed cold water all over myself trying to fix the automatic waterer without turning off the water. Bright. I did fix it, and my offspring the handyman built a temporary brace to stop big, clumsy Darryl Junior from stomping on the water hose and loosening the connection. Yay.

There is now another piece of concrete and some wood where my foot is here, to stabilize the hose. Yes that’s my wet shoe. And the other thing is what I put their grit in, and it’s a pig (someone always asks).

Then I dropped stuff and nearly failed in putting mice traps in the tack room (sorry, don’t want to die of hanta virus). I got stuff all over me.

At least I had a good interlude when my Precious Stepsister called and she listened to my anxiety stuff. That’s because I gave her a rock.

Not the rock I gave her, but my message to you!

And finally, I sat down to enjoy Facebook at lunch only to discover this article, detailing how the homophobia in Texas is so bad that a children’s book author whose in-laws I’ve known for decades can be prevented from talking about his charming nonfiction books (I’ve read many of them) in elementary schools because there is one sentence in one book that acknowledges LGBTQIA+ people exist. How low can this place go? Rhetorical question.

Read all about Chris Barton and consider buying a young friend (or yourself) one of his books. As a matter of fact, I bought a copy of every book he’s written for children and sent them to my unofficial granddaughter.

And our US Senator has once again left the state when bad weather is coming. Coincidence, I’m sure.

I was pretty mad at the world much of the day, especially when the dogs found something I won’t mention and brought it into the house to fight over. While Penney tried to kill Carlton (she kept going when he stopped at Lee’s command, so Carlton lost), Harvey ate the contested item. All I can say is I’m glad I was feeding horses then. It sounded pretty yucky.

You can sorta see a scrape under his chin, but his leg is worse; he’s favoring it (but it’s not broken).

After all those small things built up, I was about to go crawl under the covers, but then I had a second good phone call of the day that cheered me up about possible not horrible developments in my life!

See, there’s always good among the nauseating events. You just have to be patient and not spend all day hiding under the covers.

Self Encouragement

I can’t say I’m doing all that well these days. Anxiety attacks are getting in the way of trying to live a reasonable life. One woke me up this morning! Geez! Everyone has times like this in their lives, to give them something to compare to when good times come along, right? Sure!

I write like a third grade student, sigh.

Today I found myself painting rocks while trying to organize a complicated piece of writing. I now see they were all messages to myself. That gave me a chuckle. They are still drying, so I’ll give you other recent messages.

This is the other side. I hug much more now than I used to.

It was too cold and cloudy to do much birding today, which didn’t help my mood. Tomorrow should be okay, so I’ll get out more and make Apache do things for no real reason. Maybe I’ll try to do some liberty work with him, or something.

My other new hobby seems to be painting things without enough contrast.

Honestly, today wasn’t all bad. Work was good and we finally started watching Star Fleet Academy, which is very Star Trek. In it, they’ve recovered from a huge disaster, and that positive outlook was nice to see.

By the way, thanks for your positive comments on my recent writings. It feels good to think I give people food for thought. I assure you that many of you inspire me!