daily life – Page 18 – The Hermits' Rest

Pay Attention, Suna!

In my frazzled state of late, I’m not only being clumsy and forgetful, I’m not noticing things. That’s not at all helpful. And my powers of investigation aren’t their strongest.

For example, this morning I got up and couldn’t find Goldie. Oh no! Something happened to her! Oh, maybe she’s outside. No. Not in my office. Hmm. It took me ten minutes to figure out that she was in the other bedroom. Duh.

Take a flower break. These Mexican petunias look like they should be a painting, not a plant living in the middle of the driveway!

I got through a hectic and confusing work day fairly well, though our team meeting was moved to the afternoon and ran long, making me unable to groom the horses. I rushed out and easily got Droodles.

I’m a good boy, but I don’t pay attention either. I sorta missed the goal of standing beside the mounting block and just plowed over it. I’m so cute.

Apache was another story. It’s as if he knew we were running late. He ran and ran, galloping hither and yon, but eventually went into a pen. That was very strange. I hurriedly put on his halter and marched him into the trailer. Drew followed nicely. He was an a good mood from eating good grass.

We got to Tarrin’s and quickly tied the horses to the trailer. I saddled Apache on his left side (this matters) then we walked to the lesson area. I began lunging him over the little hill. When I turned him to go the other way, Tarrin stopped me. Look at his eye!

Well shoot. Neither of us had looked closely at this right side. His eye was full of goop and all swollen. I could have paid a bit more attention when I was rushing to get to lessons. Tarrin hadn’t noticed when taking him out of the trailer for me either. We felt bad. But we are both barely coping. Give us a break!

So, Tarrin ran and got a wet cloth and a shot of Banamine to reduce the swelling. None of that went over very well with Apache, but it did give me time to remove his burs. Tarrin said I should ride him some to get the meds in his system. I said that was fine and put my helmet on.

Sigh. I put it on backwards. That at least gave us a laugh and a funny photo. And Apache did very well. He even side passed vaguely correctly. Good boy. And me.

Believe it or not, this is a huge improvement.

Drew’s lesson was pretty good once he lined up right so I could mount him. I did a good job dealing with some reluctance on his part to hold himself straight, too. I was proud of us both.

Back at the trailer we decided Apache should wear a fly mask to go home, to protect his eye. This began an adventure as none of Tarrin’s spare ones fit Apache’s rather bulky head (hard to believe he’s part Arabian).

I liked this one best because it made him look like Batman’s horse.

We all laughed through this, especially at how curious Drew was about the mysterious headgear.

He kept breathing down Tarrin’s neck as she was trying to fit the masks. Once she left, Apache told him to get back.

We did make it home safely. But I wasn’t finished being inattentive. You see it was dusk by the time I was heading to the house. I went over to shut the henhouse door. Then I looked in on the chickens. I saw this.

Oh look, Cindy and Cathy are roosting! They found the branch I put in there.

But, someone was missing. Where was Bianca?

Turn the light off! I’m trying to sleep!

Well look at that! She was in the coop! She does remember how to get in! See, I’d never checked them this late before. I feel a bit better about how they are settling in. I just needed to pay attention.

I paid attention to my birthday flowers and they’ve made it to October! It’s a first for me. This ranch is hard on decorative plants.

Tomorrow is another day. Hope Apache is better. Otherwise, off to the dang vet.

Ready to Move Forward

Honestly, I’m ready for my current mood to move on. I know I need to feel my feelings but I’m tired of displacing my anger at one part of life and imposing it on other parts. I need to quit being needlessly annoyed.

I’m as irritated as a cat being bathed. Photo from Pexels.

I truly got annoyed at slow drivers on my way home from working at the Round Rock office today. I got annoyed at the dentist for taking every insurance option earth except mine. I got annoyed at people who post blatantly ignorant political crap on social media. Now, none of those things are in my sphere of influence, except I know when I pick my insurance options this year, I’ll check (just can’t fix it right now).

I looked all professional today, though.

And I’ll still annoyingly jittery and forgetful. I dropped things repeatedly at my desk and hit my head twice on overhead cabinets. Then I left my purse with my car keys in it and had to go back in before I left. I’m having a doozy of a nervous episode. I’d be happy to move forward from that, too.

I just can’t force myself to be happy. I can nudge, though. Photo from Pexels.

Even when you know perfectly well that your worries and anxiety will pass, going through them isn’t fun. I even researched places to flee to this evening. That shows how pessimistic I am about the near future. It doesn’t help that the recent hurricane showed how easily a cashless economy breaks down. I never have cash.

Rambling. Did you want a Goldie update instead? She still felt bad through the morning, but then got to feeling better. Her back leg had gotten hurt by standing up awkwardly, but resting helped.

When I got home she was watching the guys try to fix the front door, and when she got up to go inside, she was wagging her tail and looking bright eyed again. We were all relieved. It was good to have a bright spot in the day (of course, chickens and horses lifted my spirits).

Let’s see what shining highlights appear tomorrow.

Yep. Time Passed.

Or we passed time. You can view time as going by while you stay still, or you can view yourself moving along through it. it’s all fine, because no one understands time.

Quiz time. Can you find four butterflies? The big one is a variegated fritillary.

Today was hard on Goldie. She mostly didn’t move, which is good for healing. But she’s in a hard part of her recovery. Mostly she stayed in her crate other than a little time in the sun. She is eating, though! That’s good.

Harvey seems to be having trouble with his front legs and maybe his vision. He still seems in good spirits and eats well.

Apache will not touch his food, even solid sweet feed (bad for him). However, when I opened his own, he marched over and finished Fiona’s food, which is probiotics and some rice-based stuff. Tomorrow I’ll try putting a random food dish out nowhere near where he gets medicine and see if he eats that. I’m also trying to medicate him in the morning if I catch him.

Leopard frog. Not sure why it wasn’t closer to the pond.

Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist so I will work at the office when I am done. Maybe I can have Dell cafeteria food! It will be a long day.

Could I be more dull? Every day it’s a sick animal report. Tomorrow is a new day!

Day by Day

It’s my plan to take things day by day for the next month or so, while Goldie heals and annoying political ads get more absurd. Today was different from yesterday, as days tend to be. I did my best to embrace the changes and challenges. It seemed to be the best option.

I’m glad I didn’t have the overwhelming anxiety of yesterday. I felt more centered, or so I thought until it became clear that my mode today was jitters. I managed to drop things, burn myself, allow myself to be bitten by Apache (my fault, not his), trip on random weeds, and even dribble my coffee.

I’d like to fly away, but that’s not the mature choice.

I was also more impatient than usual. Things I usually let go of easily, like being corrected or contradicted repeatedly, were bugging me. I can’t live my life at home if I start noticing and reacting to other people’s quirks that aren’t going to change. If I expect for my quirks to be accepted, I need to return the favor, right?

Quirks like toting this giant thing everywhere I go.

If I were to wager, which I don’t do, I’d bet that most people in partnerships occasionally want to get a break from certain habits or situations in their home, whether it’s leaving the toilet seat up or not putting tools back where they belong (partially made-up examples). That’s why I think my little trips are good for me. It gives the family a break.

Another of my quirks. Doing my nails in weird ways. Oh, and saying I’m sorry all the time. I’ll end the list here.

Anyway, I assume I’ll be better tomorrow and head towards a more pleasant attitude. I did make a nice dinner, so I wasn’t totally grumped out.

Sure, we’re both pleasingly plump, but you could have shared that food! Oh, shrimp? Never mind.

As for Goldie, the reason for my jitters, she is okay, though she seems to be in more discomfort. That huge incision has to hurt as it heals. It looks good, though, not infected or leaking.

Not gonna display the incision. It’s a foot long, at least.

She changed her shirt (the other one was cut off her, so no repeat shirts). I found a white one for her to wear to keep the incision area clean and keep other dogs from licking it. None of them have tried, though.

She’s eating well and doing her doggie business successfully. We humans spend lots of time with her, which I hope helps. The other dogs are respectful, thankfully.

Carlton is just glad he gets to sleep upstairs with us.

My hope is that day by day she and I both feel better. Every day I’ll feel more confident in her healing, too.

Overwhelmed

That’s today’s word: overwhelmed. That’s what happens when too many intense events happen at once. I think I was holding myself together to get through Goldie’s surgery, then it all got to me today. I felt all oogey in my brain.

Naturally, or coincidentally perhaps, more little things kept piling up. I couldn’t sit outside to work, because my laptop screen has stopped working. And changes, questions, and challenges started piling up so I was stuck at my desk, where my chair has decided it won’t stay up. Just little things. But, ugh.

Maybe I need new ones. Photo from Pexels.

I did get a few minutes to sit with Lee as we supervised Goldie laying in the sun. We managed to keep her from running anywhere. And later, when I finished all my tasks, including training in my new department, I got to just sit with Goldie and keep her calm and happy.

Meanwhile, Harvey is having more trouble. His eye now looks like it’s messed up. I hope he hasn’t abraded his eye like Scrunchy the pug used to. And his balance is work. Two sickly dogs can be overwhelming, but I just loved on them a lot.

Plus I was concerned about Apache, who has stopped eating his dinner. He just stares at the wall. And I was worried about his feet, because he hasn’t been running like the others when they come up for food. (Mabel, on the other hand, now runs like the racehorse she may have once been.)

So. It wasn’t Tarrin’s best day either. She also has a dog who had cancerous growths removed, then surgery on her intestines that had gotten messed up by medication. Eek. We are monitoring Goldie for that.

Ekho is recovering well and enjoying her favorite rolling in the grass activity. She’s hiding her bandaged foot.

Then this morning, Tarrin found her beautiful stallion had died overnight with no signs of struggle. That was overwhelming. Just awful. Sudden losses are so unexpected; you sorta go into shock.

So, since we both felt like crap, I skipped my lessons. Horses can tell when you aren’t at your best. However, Lee was nice enough to bring Apache over to Tarrin’s so we could talk about his food, medication, and feet. Secretly I also went so I could support her like she’s been supporting me with all the dog stuff.

It was very helpful to have a friend to talk to about how I was feeling, and it also felt good to be an empathetic listener. No doubt we will both be fine later, but today we were both sad.

Apache was probably wondering why he wasn’t being saddled and ridden, but he didn’t complain about just getting a trim. His soles are shedding, so Tarrin trimmed them and put his boots on.

Wearing his boots and making his sleepy face.

She helped me come up with a feeding plan and decided we need to switch his medication. He has too many side effects still, after a year. He should not be ignoring food and standing like a zombie. The powder medicine should be more palatable and have fewer side effects. Plus it costs less!

His plan is to convince me to take him out for grass that needs trimming every day.

Now I just have to try to return the 6-month supply of Prascend that just arrived. I sure hope I can. It’s expensive. But I’m glad to have a plan for Apache! He’s doing so well in training that I want him as happy as possible.

Long story, sorry about that. But I feel better thanks to good friends (online and in person) who care. I even got surprise presents from Kathleen, who did a stealth visit, meal, and present drop-off all while we were off with Apache.

Better times are coming! Or, I’ll be back to coping well with challenging times!

Gray Skies Are Gonna Clear Up

We are putting on our happy faces because even though the weather was weird today, we got encouraging news about Goldie’s prognosis.

The important news is that the veterinary team took X-rays of Goldie’s chest this morning and found no evidence of metastatic growths. That means she has a better chance of hanging on for a good while as a tripod. She then had the amputation surgery and came through it well.

Spooky sky with light of hope shining through. Photo by Lee.

Now we are waiting to see how she does overnight. I’m glad this facility has an overnight doctor to keep an eye on the animals there. She is well drugged, so she can rest pain free. What a relief. If things go well, we will get her tomorrow afternoon.

While anxiously awaiting news of Goldie (we thought she was going in early but that wasn’t the case), I hung out with the birds. There were over 40 species today! You can tell it’s migration time. The clouds never made any rain, either.

Vultures waiting for their wings to dry, and that same cloud.

After lunch with the ladies and Casey (the dude of our crowd) I came home to more weird weather. The wind picked up drastically, to where I couldn’t work outside anymore. Just as I was finishing my last meeting, Lee came in and said some of the horses were out.

Look, Mom. We are over here by the welding thingie.

I went over and shut the main gate, then went to figure out what was going on. Two horses were still in their pen area. Dusty was just standing by the big gate, assuming I’d let him out, which I did. Drew, in the other hand, was running anxiously back and forth, not settling down enough to figure out where the exit was.

I found that the back gate, which already had some issues, had blown open in the wind and was sitting at a most awkward angle. Drew finally found it and flew past me, jumping and leaping. What a dramatic boy.

We decided to let them do some edging and mowing for a while, but the gate did get fixed. Of course, as we were discussing it, Drew had to come help. I guess we humans are more interesting than new grass to the curious one. Anyway, other than causing the dogs to bark, the horses are fine. They’ll go back inside soon as they get thirsty.

Now I can go sleep. I sure didn’t last night, as my good friends knew! Let’s hope the ride home goes well. We have the new halter and a t-shirt for Goldie to wear.

Waiting and Watching

Another long day of waiting. You know I’m trying to distract myself when I bury myself in AI training, which I did.

Suna, post training. Just kidding. AI is the BEST! Just ask corporate training!

I did get some nice pictures with Goldie today to remember her four/-legged era. We had a very nice morning sitting outside and enjoying the birds and breeze.

Lee took pictures of her on “her” couch, which used to be mine and used to be clean. And the blanket used to be nice. Yes, I was in hippie mode today.

Again, loving this dog and sending healing to her.

Lee took her to the vet this afternoon. She was so good. I keep saying that, but it’s true. She was sweet to everyone at the veterinarian office and tried to comfort them as they recited everything that could go wrong. Poor Lee. Wish I could have gone with him.

The watching part of today was a nice balance to sadness over terminal illness. I was looking at a Green Heron through my binoculars this morning and realized the cow above the bird had an amniotic sac hanging out of her.

You can sorta see it. The white thing is her bag of milk, ready to feed. The white cow was keeping Caracaras away.

I called to Lee, and he was able to watch “the miracle of birth” with me. It made us both feel better to see new life. I was a little nervous because Mama kept swinging the calf around when it was mostly out, and it was close to the drop-off to the pond.

Once the calf was on the ground, much licking ensued. Mama did a great job! It took the calf a few tries to stand up, but it eventually got up to slurp down that delicious colostrum. Mom licked it a lot more. The owners came by to check, because Lee told him it was born sorta close to the edge.

This all took like 20 minutes. That’s a successful birth with no issues … but the calf did end up down the slope but not in the water, thanks to the dry weather. Luckily the other owner showed up to pick it up. It was so cute just wagging its little tail.

That slice of ranch life helped us a lot and put things in perspective. The Circle of Life is the other trite saying that comes to mind, but it’s true. We all have our time to come and go. It’s just hard to be a witness at the end when it’s someone you love.

Think of Goldie tomorrow, if you can. We just want her pain lessened.

Getting Ready for Goldie

Stressful day! Not only did I have to get up early to meet with my new boss, but I also spent all day waiting for a call from Goldie’s surgeon. That made for a long day, because I didn’t hear from her until 6 pm.

I distracted myself by talking to my online friend group, helping people (best part of my job), and doing some training the new boss pointed me to, but I admit I got a bit antsy. Looking at plants and birds took the edge off a bit, and certainly seeing a flock of White-faced Ibis flying over helped. I happened to have my binoculars with me, so I got a good view.

By afternoon both Lee and I were not worth much, so I called around 4:30. The staff person was so nice, and reassured me I was on the list, but the doctor was dealing with a sad client. I said that was way more important than calling us! I want a kind and empathetic surgeon!

I felt sad for the person who lost their dog friend.

While waiting, Lee finished his book (the one o read that retells the Mulan story) and I started the latest Elizabeth Strout novel, so I could be distracted by Olive Kitteridge and the other folks on Crosby, Maine. That was smart.

I was feeding the horses by the time the surgeon called, but I’d brought my notebook so I was ready. I feel like we have a good and realistic plan to give Goldie some additional time. I don’t think we can do chemo, but if the guys want it, I’m okay. It’s just a lot of travel in the car, which is hard on her.

I did learn from the surgeon about a harness that’s good for helping support newly tripod dogs out and got one ordered in time to have when we pick Goldie up. I’m glad she’s crate trained, because that will help keep her away from licking dogs. No licking the wound for two weeks!

Anyway you don’t need to know everything the woman said to me. I’m just processing. Mainly I want Goldie to make it back home safely. I’m getting weary of bad news.

Think about birds, Suna. Happy, fluffy birds.

Back to the novel. They come in handy in stressful times.

Mental Health Break

Neither Lee nor I were feeling our best in the mental health department today. All the illness around us gets to us sometimes, and we’re worried about people in addition to dogs.

This Giant Swallowtail did make me smile.

We ended up not doing much other than going to get horse and hen supplies and watching comedy shows. Sometimes you need a mindless day.

Every day is mindless for these guys, who are getting along fine and enjoying their grubs.

It’s still really hot, though I honored the equinox by creating a splashy weird nail look. It’s either cool and graphic or it makes my nails look dirty. You be the judge.

I also still can’t get used to long hair.

There were no animal hijinks or injuries today other than birds and butterflies to amuse me. I saw two Wilson’s Warblers today, a first here at the ranch. I enjoy the migratory visitors, especially when they have cute little caps.

Hoping I feel more chipper tomorrow.

Animals: Always a Challenge

Lots of animal news today. They keep me on my toes!

Goldie

Lee and I were up early to get Goldie to the specialty veterinarian by 9. She was so damned good. It’s just a shame she had to have her life shortened by bone cancer.

However, the staff at the vet were great and quite encouraging. They see a lot more of this stuff than we do. The oncologist explained the options to us and stressed that since Goldie is basically healthy other than the tumor, is young, and is at a good weight, she is an excellent candidate for amputation. Another good factor is that she is already mostly walking on three legs.

Here Goldie is enthralled by the oncologist discussing her treatment plan.

Our hopes are that this procedure ($$$) will buy her many months of pain-free life. She can’t get worked on until Wednesday, so in the meantime we have good pain medicine that will also keep her calmer and less likely to try to run.

She is worth it to us. We might decide differently with a different dog in different circumstances.

She already leans more on her right side.

Apache

So, later today, I braved the heat to go work with the horses. I fed them and all seemed well until I realized Apache hadn’t come over to eat. I went up to him and saw he was covered in sweat and breathing really hard. If he were a dog, he’d have been panting. I got worried that he had colic or was overheated.

So I brought him over to the tack room and hosed him off. As soon as I started hosing, he started chowing down on the long grass the lawn mower misses. When I called Tarrin to make sure I was doing the right thing, she said he wouldn’t be eating like crazy if he were colicking. I dread having a horse colic (intestinal issues).

At least I dodged another pet sickness. I hosed him down a second time after he ate for a while, and he happily walked off to graze.

The Chickens

Finally, good news. Since I got Cindy and Cathy Cochin they’ve been sort of huddling together looking scared. They had not figured out that they could go into the coop. I soon noticed they weren’t alone, though. Bianca was spending a lot of time hanging out on the other side of the pen from them.

That was perfect! This let them get to know each other without any chicken fights. Now I just had to get Bianca in the chicken run with the Cochins. And I did!

Today I fed the hens late, since I was out with Goldie all morning. I noticed that Bianca was in the jungle half of the run, where it’s shady. She realized I’d filled the water trough for the other hens and ran out to stand next to the door. She wanted some. I seized the moment while the black hens were keeping as far from me as possible and opened the door. It only took a little chicken wrangling to get Bianca to go in there and start pecking away at the food. Soon they were all eating together. Yay.

My hope is that Bianca will show Cathy and Cindy how to get into the roosting area. They will be happier sleeping there and laying eggs in the boxes.

So, I’m at least doing okay with some animals!