Why Yes, You Can Have a Good Time at a Funeral

First, I just can’t answer the boring Bloganuary question today, so I’ll just have to give up on that challenge. I will, of course, blog every day this month, as usual.

Now that it’s dealt with, I can talk about why I’m in scenic Little Rock, Arkansas. My friend, Barbara (yes, the Barbara of the comments section), lost her husband recently. We have been friends for a long time, and she was one of the best listeners ever when I was having issues with my work in La Leche League. We’ve been email friends since around 1995, so there have been a lot of memories, stories, confidences, and kindnesses between the two of us. I felt that it was important that someone come to her husband’s service just to be there for her, and her alone (and to represent our group of close friends from our years as LLL administrators).

So, this morning I put on some somber clothes and headed to downtown Little Rock for Gene’s service. The church is very cool. I’ve been hearing about it for years, so I was uncharacteristically (for me) excited to actually see it. What a cool old building it is, and how welcoming they’ve made it for everyone. No wonder Gene, not a religious person, was fine being memorialized here.

I enjoyed talking to people at the pre-service reception and finding out more about Barbara’s kids (not much younger than me, so not really kids) and grandkids, and hearing good stories. I got to chat about knitting, listen to conversations about Gene’s work with the Humane Society here, and lots more. And on an interesting side note, people here still wear black to funerals, unlike in Texas where they wear anything that’s not jeans and a t-shirt.

The service itself was very simple and well planned. Barbara and her family did a great job on it. There were really cool hymns, after some improvisational music before the service by a talented pianist. But the very best part was the “Stories” section, in which people from all areas of Gene’s life spoke (he was a law professor, fiction writer, dog lover, veteran…etc.). Everyone was so good at speaking, especially Barbara’s sons, who she has to be very proud of. It’s so nice to hear people who know how to work a room give a heartfelt talk. Ah, smart people. Former colleagues, former students, fellow writers…dog people, all talked. It reminded me of my dad’s service, where you could get to know the person by just listening to the stories. I honestly think everyone felt like they got a hug and new memories to cherish in Gene’s absence.

My favorite part was when I really wanted to clap after one son’s story, and I was really glad when people did so. How often does THAT happen? I just smiled through the whole event and thought how lucky Barbara is to have such a warm community around her.

Afterwards, I was invited to lunch with the family and close friends, which led to much lively discussion. But by the time that was over, my introversion kicked in and I went to a park. I didn’t get to see birds or many plants, but it was still nice to get out in nature, though of course it was STILL raining. Whoa am I ready for some sunshine.

The sun did finally come out a little around sunset, and I got to enjoy some fast-moving and interesting clouds out the hotel window.

I’m glad I came to support Barbara and hug her for all the rest of our friends. It’s worth doing if you possibly can. I know it meant a LOT to me when my friend Vicki came for my dad’s funeral, just for me. Since then, I’ve tried to repay that kindness by being there for others.

Think of me driving 6.5 hours tomorrow. I hope it’s more clear (and that it is clearer at home so I can groom the horses).