I admit it. I’m spending some time feeling sad about how my dogs are feeling. Goldie is limping more, and Harvey has gone downhill since he couldn’t get downstairs yesterday. He seems confused about why his legs aren’t acting correctly right now. We are, too.
What the heck?
We still don’t know if the lump on his leg, a back injury, a stroke, or his liver issues that are causing his problems, but we are medicating him as hard as we can.
He chooses not to chase cows.
Goldie’s lump is bothering her more, so her meds haven’t done much. Tomorrow we are taking her to a facility in College Station to get X-rays and scans to see what they find. I hope that will help us figure out how to proceed. I’m thankful Tarrin is advising us, since she knows many veterinarians, and is dealing with her own dog challenges.
Getting rest before her big day.
It was darn good to have some positive work things to balance this out with. I solved a thorny problem in a project that made me feel smart. Then a package arrived that contained my gift from my employer for being a good contractor last quarter. They wrapped it all fancy and festively, and I appreciated it. Being acknowledged for hard work is rare in contract work, so I’m not all cynical like I might be if it was more common. This was a real highlight.
Go me. I got a sticker!It’s a combination charger. I’m not sure it works, but I’ll try to set it up.
Other than that, I just did my best to enjoy my animal buddies and breathe. They always make my daily highlight reel.
Morning horses and Fiona. Apache is filthy from rolling in mud.
You can’t help but smile when you have hummingbirds and calves to look at and every flycatcher in the area to listen to. Hooray for fewer flies!
Blending with the willow Watchful mama New chickens are still glued together but they’ve met Bianca and seem intrigued. And nothing cheers me up more than flowers. These false foxgloves are gorgeous.
Having a balance in life can help you get through challenges. I know so many of you readers are also facing challenges. This time of year seems to bring illnesses, loss of loved ones (humans and animals), and financial woes. Noticing beauty, kindness, and generosity can go a long way toward negotiating change and challenge and bring highlights to a low time.
Vlassic took a nice dip in the pool this afternoon. Penney made herself very small!
It’s a pretty sad day over at the Hermits’ Rest. This morning I noticed Goldie was limping. Soon after, Lee pointed out a huge lump on her left front leg. What the heck?
That was not there yesterday
Well, Lee was already planning to take Harvey in for his lump and official diagnosis, but he went over to Dr. Amy’s mobile clinic and asked them to come by when they were done in Cameron (not cheap, but better than trying to transport the two big dogs).
It’s true. She weighs 135. We checked.
So, they showed up and the challenges of looking at our dogs commenced. Looking at Goldie was easy. She loves Kelly the vet tech and volunteered to be looked at, poked, and prodded by Amy, too. Then she happily trotted off to the truck to get weighed. We need more Goldies.
Did I mention it was raining?
The bad news is that the lump is probably a mast-cell tumor. Yes, they can pop up that fast. Those are the bad ones. Dammit. She has some heavy-duty steroids and antibiotics to take to see if that will shrink it. She’s getting the treatment for anthrax. Intense. Of course she won’t eat it. Lee is working on her.
I’m picky. But I need to live, because Suna loves me.
It was harder to treat Harvey. He was all shivery and snappy. But with patience, Kelly got him muzzled and Amy was able to palpate his lump. Thankfully, it felt full of fluid, not bad things. It is the least of his worries.
We’re never coming back down (the toilet paper is used to block off the stairs).
The blood work on Harvey came back really bad. All his liver levels are awful, which means liver cancer. That’s the last thing our family needs, more of that. His abdomen is swelling, too. We discussed options and decided to try a medication that can help in dogs, Denamarin. It’s helped Pickle, Anita’s dog. I don’t know that it can do much, but it will be less traumatic than taking him somewhere to get scanned, which would just tell us what we already know. Sniff.
I’m still happy, other than when vet people are around.
A funny thing or two. We were all concerned he was losing hair. Well, he isn’t. Harvey had been shaved last week to remove a cyst, and the other smooth patch was from something else they did last week that Lee didn’t remember or know about. Also, Carlton was hilarious. He ran to greet them when they came in, but when he saw who it was, his tail went between his legs and his hair stood on end. Whoa, he is not fond of veterinarians.
I’ll just stay back here behind Harvey. He’ll protect me.
Were we done yet? No. Lee’s brother had asked if Dr. Amy had come to trim Vlassic’s toenails. No, she had not. No one wants to trim his toenails. He has gotten worse and worse about it as he ages, but the nails hurt Jim. So, they said they’d give it a try, as the rain began to pour.
This went very badly. Kelly tried to just hold Vlassic, but he acted like he was being murdered. It was horrific. He bit and screamed until Amy was able to stick a needle in him. They covered him in a towel until he settled. I don’t think we will let them try without sedation again, to save on potential human injuries. What an embarrassment.
The aftermath.
Oh, and I forgot the icing on the cake: when Vlassic was squealing, Penney ran out through the gate and tried to take matters into her own hands. She started biting his butt! So we had to remove her and Goldie both. They were upset, of course.
Was I a good dog? Well, at least I was a wet dog!
We are just going to take things one day at a time now. At least horses are doing ok at the moment. I spent a lot of time after the rain stopped just walking around and breathing. I’m glad I have some centering tools to help me deal with this stuff.
Pretty lightWasp cleaning herself after the rainFour cardinalsTime to breathe.
And to top it all off there was another school shooting murder spree. Why do we keep giving unstable people access to assault weapons?
Life has its ups and downs, and while I don’t talk about my family other than Lee anymore, I could use some good thoughts for our dog, Harvey. Note: I’m not asking for armchair veterinary advice, just sharing concerns.
I’m fine, thanks for asking, says Penney.
Harvey is our oldest dog now, and he’s about 9. I’m bad with dates, but he was a puppy on our first Thanksgiving in this house, which Facebook tells me was 2015. He had a very hard time when young, culminating with being dumped and shot at the house where our friend Mandi now lives. His name was Starvey Harvey because he was skin and bones with cuts and the hole in him. His ribs are still funny.
You can see his scar here.
He’s a strange but lovable guy with short wiry hair and stocky build. He looks like a Doberman or Rottweiler mix, but not a fancy one. He’s grumpy, too, and uses his growl to express displeasure at anything, often for no good reason. It’s just how he talks.
Getting gray around the muzzle
He’s been our good buddy through thick and thin, though, and really loves his people. In return, we pay his vet bills from getting into scrapes, especially the one time he made Goldie mad. He no longer tries to boss her around, though if he snarks too much at another dog, she’ll stop him. She has a large jaw.
Yep, big.
Anyway, recently something has gone wrong with him. I noticed he was having trouble going down the stairs and was acting uncoordinated. I noticed his ear m, eye, and jowl were drooping on the right side. I thought maybe he had a stroke.
See what I mean?
Lee took him to the vet (he did not enjoy the car ride to Mexia, where the vet was that day. She gave him medicine to see if it was an inner ear issue or he’d hurt his back.
Looks a little better
When he didn’t improve (causing Lee to sleep downstairs when I was away, to prevent him from coming upstairs), she did bloodwork. The idea was maybe it was his thyroid. The results came back yesterday to reveal liver issues instead.
Bald spot on his neck. There’s also one behind the droopy ear.
In the meantime, Harvey has lost a couple of big patches of hair. He didn’t rub it off; it just fell out. And yesterday we saw a big bump on his leg that made it hard to walk. Geez, poor guy.
Bump
So, back to the vet he goes tomorrow. Lee will have her look at the new symptoms, but she will probably refer him to a specialist in College Station (that’s the name of the town where Texas A&M University is, for non-local readers).
Still having fun.
We hope he has something treatable! He’s still a happy dude with his characteristic immense appetite. He is doing better with stairs the past day or two, but we still just let him up at night, then block the stairs off once he gets down. That will minimize the strain.
But I wanna go up!
All other dogs are fine. It’s Alfred’s shedding season, so I’m doing a lot of plucking. Penney and Carlton are playing a lot, and Goldie is guarding me from those pesky cows and calves.
Results of a few minutes of Alfred plucking.
I’ll update on Harvey tomorrow! No matter what, he knows he is loved.
Really. I’m tired of being tired, sick of being sick, and irritated at my gastrointestinal irritation.
Accurate representation of how I feel.
I envy people who get mild cases of Covid, that’s for sure. I do feel better in the sinus and coughing aspect, but the medications have made my digestion very sad and painful.
Bad virus, bad. Photo from Pexels.
Work was a struggle, but by gosh I did the meetings and fixed the documents I needed to fix. It’s a good distraction, really. And I can talk better, so meetings have been easier at least! If I’m better tomorrow I can get the bunch of new assignments I got started.
I’ll share some sunset views from my east-facing condo.
I’ll be better set up for healing, thanks to my friend Cathy, who didn’t get as sick as I did. She picked up helpful medicine and things that will soothe me, like bananas, yogurt, and Pedialyte. I’m sure grateful to have nearby friends!
Cathy sent me this sunset from her house (plus grand dog)
It’s been pleasant and quiet here in Breckenridge, other than lots of helicopters for a few hours. I couldn’t tell if they were construction copters or firefighters. I can’t believe I’ve rested for three whole days. I don’t think I’ve ever rested like this for so long before.
It can get better now. I’d be okay with that. But at least I’m safe and cozy with knitting and reading! And there are sunsets.
What was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?
An easy one! The last thing I looked for was the tele-health service for my insurance. I rarely use such things, so I can’t remember their names.
Look at the eyes on this aspen tree.
Once I found it, I already had a login, so it was easy to get in queue and talk online to someone. I’ve done it twice now, and was very happy to give a $20 copay. Certainly, it was better than trying to get to an ER or urgent care in an unfamiliar location.
Yay, flowers. I can’t smell very well but I can see colors.
I don’t have many nature stories today. I only went on one short walk, where I didn’t run into anyone. It was nice to breathe fresh air. I also sat on the balcony some.
Yay, Walden’s Potter wasp.
Much of the day I worked, but I fell asleep twice. The Paxlovid is helping, but it sure leaves a weird iron taste in your mouth. It also gave me strange dreams like where I kept finding really cool animals and birds, but couldn’t make my phone take pictures (because it needed film, lol). I remember the cutest bats with round smiling faces, and teeny tiny hummingbirds swarming around. Wherever I was had lots of wildlife! Thanks, brain.
Yay. Arctic Blue.
I did get checked on by various friends and family members, so I didn’t feel lonely. I’m hoping my Covid symptoms are much better tomorrow. Lots of work is ahead and I’d sorta like to have some fun!
What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?
Today’s question has been on my mind lately since there have been a lot of deaths in my circle, and I’ve been a close observer of the stress, pain, and hard decisions loved ones have to go through.
Just a sweet and fuzzy calf
One of our blog family lost her husband yesterday, which hits hard. But I’m glad she has the support of many close friends who’ve gone through this before, and she has supportive family. Sometimes, when no one you know has been through such a loss, you can feel so alone and lost, and it hits you so hard.
So, do we want to live very long lives? No matter when we pass away, we will leave sad people behind to treasure memories. I wish I had more of them with my mom, who died when I was 26. I coped poorly but was glad she was out of her mental and physical pain.
As long as I’m in reasonable health, can enjoy nature and my community, and am not a burden to others, I’d prefer to live a long life. I’m just curious about how we humans are going to handle things in the coming 30 or 40 years. And I’d love to continue contributing to society and becoming more wise.
Yet, if I were chronically ill with constant pain or costing my family so much that I was a financial burden, I’d have no problems with letting go. It would be interesting to see what’s next for the energy that brings me life.
I can honestly say that I empathize with anyone who decides they are “done” and don’t keep pushing forward in old age, and I can see not wanting to give up. And I have seen for myself how quickly you can go from fighting to dignified surrender when the time comes.
This made no sense, I’m afraid, but it helped me to write it. I do want to live long and prosper, though!
Love to all of you who are struggling. I am here for you if you need me.
I didn’t realize the prompt today would fit with what I wanted to write about today. But it does. I’ve had some of the worst anxiety symptoms and bad dreams I’ve had in years since Friday. Ugh. I get strong chest pains, tightness in my head with ringing sounds, and weakness in my legs. None of this is pleasant. At least my anti-anxiety meds work most of the time!
Riding helps, too.
But, it turns out that, while I only get moderately stressed out about the numerous health issues in my immediate family, a sick horse throws me for a loop. And by the way, he’s no sicker now than he was last week, but knowing something was wrong got me full time of worry, angst, anxiety…and guilt.
I guess I’m unhappy to find out that Apache’s blood test results were extra bad (like 400 where high normal is 40) for ACTH. This means that, as we’ve always suspected, he has PPID or Cushing’s desease. The link tells you what the tests he took were, and we’re from the place doing the testing. His insulin wasn’t bad, which is good news.
Look, I lost weight!
Don’t panic. Medicine is on order that will reduce his symptoms and make him feel much better, though it won’t fix his endocrine system, which has probably been bad his whole life. We’ve just been managing the heck out of his symptoms.
My dear teacher and companion
Why have I been so upset? It’s because this furry family member has meant so much to me. He’s the first horse I learned to take care of and to ride, so he’s dealt with all my learning experiences and mistakes. Conversely, I’ve dealt with all his issues and idiosyncrasies, along with his curiosity, eagerness to learn, humor, and patience.
Don’t forget my beauty, other than the furry coat and sweating.
He and I each have our challenges, but we’ve stuck together through bad feet, poor horsemanship, anxiety (both of us), and changes. And in the past year or so, we’ve finally become a real team and started having fun. There’s been a lot of growth going on for both of us.
I’m your buddy.
So Friday, when I found out the vet was supposed to have sent me those test results but I didn’t have them, and I got the impression they were bad, no amount of me telling myself that getting upset wouldn’t change things worked. I just fell apart and got mentally dysfunctional. I mean, internally. I did all my stuff and acted fine. I just hurt inside. I care so much about my animals.
I was mainly feeling bad that I didn’t get the testing done earlier, like I’ve let him suffer needlessly. I was concentrating so hard on his feet, muscles, and diet that I missed this. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to get haltered some days, or why he gets squirrelly on rides…blah blah blah. I’m just making stuff up at this point, but I guess that’s what you do when you think you could have helped but didn’t.
He’s made so much progress!
My hope it’s that by talking about my relationship with my Paint/Arab companion of lo these many years I’ll help myself feel better. He will be on his way to feeling better as soon as those meds arrive, and we’ll take it from there.
I’ll remember good stuff like hearing the sandhill cranes migrating overhead.
We will both be fine, especially if folks treat us kindly and gently. I don’t need to be made to feel worse with a bunch of, “Why didn’t you…?” And “You should have…” stuff. I just need ways to move forward and live the rest of our time together positively and happily. The horses and my inner circle are what keep me going!
Nope. It ain’t fun. But at least I diagnosed myself correctly!
So, my thyroid numbers were low and my metabolism was, shall we say, sloth-like. I had a low heart rate, was tired a lot, etc. So the Physicians Assistant I go to started me on medication, the standard dosage. Starting about five weeks ago, I took it correctly every morning before eating, and was proud of myself.
Sloth. Photo by Daniella Maraschiello
About two weeks ago, I started having a sore throat. I chalked it up to allergens or something. When the time came to renew the prescription, I wrote the PA and mentioned the sore throat, in case it might be my thyroid. He said it was probably just what was going around.
Me and my sad thyroid
What I knew was that I’d experienced an inflammation in my thyroid before. I was trying to prove to my kids’ dad that I could be all thin and athletic. I rode my fancy bike every day and impressed myself with my weight loss. I looked hot, for me. But I had a sore throat. Sure enough it wasn’t just the exercise making me lose weight. It was my thyroid going into overdrive. Dang.
I got all fixed up from that and was ok and thin (but not athletic enough to keep the spouse). Then I started experiencing horrible and weird pains (while the spouse was off cycling in the Italian Alps and meeting his buff future wife). It turned out the sudden weight loss had broken my gall bladder. It was not my best year. At least the spouse waited to move out until I recuperated from removing it. I appreciate that!
Italian alps. Wikipedia.
The point behind this trip up and down the Alps of memory lane is that I know what an inflamed thyroid feels like. That’s now established, as well as my lack of bile regulation.
Last night I had trouble sleeping, so I decided my throat pain was probably not some virus. I peered into it with my phone flashlight and didn’t see signs of strep. So I went back to the local clinic.
Where it hurts.
Thankfully, the other practitioner listened to me. She also felt my throat. That hurt. But yes! I DO have thyroiditis. The plan is to reduce the dose of the thyroid hormone so I won’t be a sloth but I won’t be zipping around either.
I’ll go back next week to reevaluate my precious glands. If it isn’t better, I get an ultrasound.
Hurry up, Mabel. She wants to exercise me.
Send me good vibes! I do not enjoy being sick. It’s been really hard trying to get the horses exercise, between the heat and the pain. They are sweet and patient as we do maneuvers at a walk on the hard, cracked dirt. But we aren’t exactly having fun.
I’m not having fun and you aren’t even riding me.
I do feel vindicated. I was not being a hysterical woman. I really am a bit out of whack (physically). We know I’m a pretty whacky person mentally!
What an interesting day it’s been! Interesting animal health news abounded, and animals impressed me, too. I’m just going to start with the actual seasonal miracle. Well, you may recall me saying we’d lost our hen, Betty, the Americauna who laid light brown eggs. I said that because when I checked on her between rain storms, she was lifelessly laying in a puddle.
I was reminded that life is as ephemeral as a dandelion puff.
I didn’t put her in a plastic bag to be disposed of, because of the rain. Next time I checked, I realized she was still alive, though she hadn’t moved. Yesterday, when I did my evening check, she’d moved. What?
Birds are mysterious. Ask any swallow. They are weird, like me. So swoopy.
This morning when I went in, she’d moved again, and I saw her move around. I mentioned to someone that I could swear she was actually better. But how? She was really looking bad for a few days, and was soaked. Nonetheless, when I got home from horse training today, after being given up for dead for three days, there was Betty.
I’m not dead.I am a bit bedraggled.
So, her name is Not Dead Betty from now on. Who knows what was wrong? Did she have a virus? An impacted egg? A cold? I just cannot believe this miracle of rebirth. How seasonal!
Take a break to enjoy a bee so engorged with pollen that it was acting inebriated. I tapped the flower and it finally drug itself out of the pollen paradise.
So, What Else?
Well, there’s good news and bad news in the horse department.
Good: I was able to get Drew groomed today, with just a few clods of dirt left in his mane. He’s all soft and smooth now.
Bad: Apache seemed ok in grooming, but when we got to Tarrin’s, his back was all bloody. Drew was biting him in the trailer. No wonder the trailer was rocking all the way there (which took extra long, of course, thanks to having to get gas, hitting every traffic light, AND being blocked by a train again.)
Bad: Apache seems to be all inflamed for some reason. His lymph nodes are all puffy. Tarrin thinks it’s allergies from all the new rich grass and pollen. He gets to stay in the pens during the day for a while to work on it, and he will need lots of exercise (that’s good).
Good: Drew was amazingly better at this week’s lesson, even with no riding in the past week. It was like watching a different horse, and riding him was actually fun! That was a miracle to me. Both Tarrin and I needed positive horse experiences today, so hooray.
His back did NOT look like that when he got into the trailerTarrin put some medicine on him later.Here’s where he leaned on the rail in the trailer. You can see he’s lumpy.Both the horse and the human are beautifulMy view of a muddy maneWe are being straight.I am side passingSide passing again, and he’s not pitching a fit.Enjoying some sun with my boy.
I was relieved that Drew was doing so well today and paying attention to me so well. I am equally concerned that Apache is having his issues flaring up. I hope we have caught the inflammation in time to get him back on track. When one of your animals is sick, it’s like your child is ill. I’ll just hug on him and dote on him and let him eat hay all day.
We just all need to sit outside and breathe a while.
There were all sorts of other things going on here, none of which are my stories to tell, but I’m glad we all have each other to support one another around here. If you have any to spare, send vibes out to my family, okay?
It’s spring in Texas. Those of us not allergic can just enjoy the green grass, blooming flowers, and changing weather.
I have spent the past two days trying to get a chest x-ray, you know, because my chest is full of fluid and probably horrible fungal growth. I am concerned, you see. I am beginning to see why people just use the emergency room as their primary healthcare provider, because trying to AVOID such things and not go into debt over a cough is a pain (in my chest and brain).
So, I went to the nice little clinic in my home town that is not affiliated with the corporate mega-system I am not fond of. They said yep, my lungs are rattling and wheezing, so I needed a chest x-ray to help diagnose. I also got blood work, after two tries, because Worker A probably had never drawn blood out of a living human and left my arm looking like this:
Old woman with bruised arm
Worker B then arrived and took the four endless vials of blood out of the other arm. Sigh. I won’t know if I have the fungal infection or other issue until the lab results come in. So, merrily I cough along.
Merrily coughing at sunset, when normally I’d be horsing around
I was so short of breath yesterday that I didn’t dare try to groom the horses or ride them, though I did sit and look at them while they ate, then spent a long time just hanging out with Apache and massaging his poll (top of head), since he asked for it.
The others were busy scarfing up leftovers
Anyway, of course the nice little clinic doesn’t have its own radiology department, so I consented to go to the only place in town that has a machine, which is operated by the company I am not fond of. When I arrived with my paperwork in hand, they informed me that their x-ray machine is broken. I could go to another town to another of their facilities, but I declined.
Goldie backed me up. She doesn’t like crowded scary places, either.
This started me on a health care odyssey to get an x-ray elsewhere. By noon today, I’d made six phone calls, left numerous messages, got many corrected phone numbers, and lost my patience. Usually I’m a fairly patient patient, but I didn’t feel very well, as I soldiered along recording myself talk and pausing to breathe a lot.
Let’s take a break and enjoy all the henbit that’s blooming right now. It will get mowed soon, so I’m enjoying it while I can.
Finally, after I’d gotten irritated enough to get in the car and drive back to the clinic to try to talk to someone in person, they called to say they’d faxed my orders to a place that was associated with my OLD doctors in Austin. Soon they actually called and said it had gotten through.
Did I make it to Temple, Texas in record time? Of course not. I got behind a very strange-looking semi-truck that plodded along at 60 in 70 mph zones, trailing up to twelve cars. Thankfully, they pulled over at a turn and let us all go free.
I thanked my lucky stars, as well as the moon, Jupiter, and Venus.
The place I went was clean, spacious, and NOT crowded. though a little hard to find. The facility did please me. How long did the x-ray take after spending 20 minutes filling out paperwork? I’d say 65 seconds. Now, let’s see if I get any results from all the testing and perhaps get treatment. That would be nice. I just do NOT want to get sick enough to go to a hospital. I really don’t like hospitals and all their germs.
The sun is setting on this struggle.
I just wish we had our old local hospital back, where you could get an x-ray and labs, and get looked at quickly. However, it’s now the county office building. Rural health care in the US is sad. I can’t imagine how it would have been if I didn’t have insurance.
The Hermits' Rest 