horses – Page 15 – The Hermits' Rest

Words, So Few of Them Helpful

What is a word you feel that too many people use?

What, like “very unique” or something? I find this question difficult, because it didn’t ask for a word that’s used too often, but rather for a word too many people use. In this case, I’m going to suggest “woke” as a word the wrong people are using for inappropriate reasons. People try to use this positive word as an insult and it doesn’t come across well outside their in-group.

Hi. I’m woke AF. Hmm, maybe too many people use “AF” after everything.

That’s not unique, of course. Humans have been changing words with positive connotations to negative ones for centuries. There are many articles on how neutral words have become negative words pertaining to women (like spinster, once a person who spun). As well, people have been misappropriating words from one group and using it in odd new ways for a long time, like white folks trying to be gangsta.

I do believe I’m not gangsta. This is fine. Other people can be if it’s fun for them.

If there’s one thing my misspent youth as a linguist taught me, though, is that languages constantly change, and that words mean what the speaker thinks they mean and the listener interprets them as. So who am I to say something is used “wrong?”

Each of us birds means “chirp” different.

I think I’m allowed to be triggered by some words being used in new ways. I don’t like “Nazi” being applied haphazardly. No, I’m not a grammar Nazi and never was a breastfeeding one either. That offends me. I was hoping our society was beyond that kind of thinking, though apparently it isn’t. Sigh.

I’ve got my raptor friends looking out for totalitarian wannabes.

Warning: if you call me woke I’m going to take it as a compliment. I’d rather be open to new ideas, kind, loving, and peaceful than angry and fearful of anyone different from myself.

On the home front the horses finally got to see the dentist today, after a series of mishaps on previously scheduled dates. I’m very pleased that the delay caused no issues and that everyone is doing well for their age and physiology.

Getting their teeth floated, then sleeping off the drugs.

Everyone was very well behaved, too. The best part was seeing the surprise on the dentist’s face when she saw Mabel. At first she thought I had a different horse! She kept exclaiming that Mabel now has a butt! That you can’t see her spine anymore! Her eyes are big and kind! Yep, she’s improved a lot. It feels so good to realize I’ve helped her become a beautiful, happy animal.

So, everything is all right here at the ranch.

My Goal? Validation of Dreams

What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?

What? I’ve been thinking of my answer all day. I came to realize that what I really want to bring to the world with this blog is to validate to readers that if I can do hard things, so can they.

That’s an odd answer, says horse from my calendar.

I’m just an average fairly intelligent person with anxiety and self esteem issues. I share my ups and downs as honestly as I can, to show others that they aren’t the only ones who struggle and to validate two things:

You aren’t alone with your self doubt, family issues, and fears
You have every right to celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small.

I talk about my interests in nature, riding horses, and crafts as examples of validation for myself that readers can take and apply to their own passions. And hey, if readers learn along with me, that’s a bonus!

I learned this is not a two-headed crow. It’s two crows.

I just hope that I’ve helped someone feel less weird, unsuccessful, or talentless. I’m never going to be a great equestrian performer and neither are my horses. But I’ve defined success as getting stronger mentally and physically and developing healthy relationships with my animal companions. If we set our goals right, it’s a lot easier to succeed. I hope I show that and that it helps someone.

I learned today that I get all swollen from the Shingrex vaccine.

Validating that you don’t have to be the best at something to enjoy it goes for my craft projects too. I was unhappy when I was trying to be a great knitter and keep up with my peers. Now that I’m just making things for fun, I’m doing better. And that’s great! Let’s all validate our achievements when we do as well as we can, not comparing ourselves to others.

The final way I hope I can validate readers’ feelings and accomplishments is showing that I never stop learning and am not ashamed to admit when I’m wrong or ignorant on a topic. How are you ever going to gain wisdom if you think you know everything already? The older I get, the less certain I am of anything. And that’s fine.

I wanted to also talk about validation from a personal perspective. I’ve come to the understanding that it’s more important to validate your own feelings, knowledge, and accomplishments. Like the self help folks say, you need to love yourself and talk kindly to yourself. That’s been my inner work for a long time.

But in addition, I need to stop feeling ashamed that external validation is still important to me. Yes, it’s a character “flaw” that can lead you down the road to codependency and unhealthy people pleasing behavior. I know that all too well since I repeatedly contorted myself into a sniveling whiner to try to get people I loved to love me back, get approval from teachers, or get praised by bosses. It wasn’t pretty.

I’m tested by this daily as I have to remind myself that I can’t make people like or appreciate me. Still, some kinds of external validation buoy me up, and that’s not horrible.

For example, that “award” I learned about yesterday (still not sure exactly what it is) made me feel good about my job, which isn’t often a source of pride (I do well; it’s just you aren’t supposed to praise contractors).

And another example of healthy external validation for me is how Tarrin talks to me during our lessons. She’s as good at motivating humans as she is with horses. She sees the skills I’m improving in and lets me know, like not getting upset when Drew got annoyed and lifted both front feet in the air. I’ve gotten so much calmer than I used to be! And it helps! She let me know I’m doing better at making corrections, too. It lets me see I AM improving, at my own pace and with my own goals.

Drew got a little testy about turning left, so Tarrin had to work it out.

So I’m allowing myself to appreciate kind words and encouragement from others, but not in an unhealthy way. I’m self validating!

Surprises, Weird Ones

The last couple of days have been surprising in both good and weird ways. I’m feeling pretty darned good at the end of it all. So, what’s been going on?

The gods and goddesses must be smiling at me.

The only sad weird thing didn’t happen to me, but I saw the evidence after my horse lesson. I feel bad for the woman it happened to, though. Apparently, one of Tarrin’s other students arrived for her lesson and went to her trailer to let her horse out. There she was very surprised to find a bird impaled on the door. What a shock? How does a bird fly that hard into the back of a trailer that’s moving forward? That was a weird surprise! Everyone thought the bird was a mockingbird, but detective Suna figured out it was a cuckoo.

Brown wing feathers and a striped tail. Very unfortunate cuckoo.

Better surprise was that I had so much trouble getting Apache to go into his pen after we got home last night that Mabel snuck out. I tried to entice her with sweet feed, but she wouldn’t go in, so then Dusty went out. I was so tired and being attacked by mosquitoes that I just let them all out to enjoy the much nicer grass in the exercise area. Lee and I managed to get our gate to shut, so in the end, it was surprisingly fun.

This morning when I went out to check on them, every single one of them, even Apache, came up to say hi and hang out with me. Drew even tried to go on my walk with me, but I did shut the gate. They all seem to like me.

Next happy surprises came midday, when I had lunch with my friends and we had so much fun that I had a hard time leaving. My segment of American society suddenly feels a little hope. It’s been so long that we are a bit giddy. I did have to leave to pick up my asthma inhaler (I only need it at times like this, when there are fires and Saharan dust in the air). There was a friendly pharmacy tech there, and she asked if I wanted my shingles vaccine first dose. I sure did! And there was no wait for the pharmacist to administer it, for free because I’m old! Surprise!

The pharmacist did it better than I do with Drew.

But wait, there’s more! I went back to work after the vaccination and got onto my regular monthly call with my contact at my actual employer, through which I’m contracted to Dell. I was surprised to see a second person was there, and they were all on camera. So I said hi and noticed they were really chipper. Finally they said they had good news. That surprised me. Apparently, they nominated me for some great contractor award and I won. That was very nice of them! You don’t get much recognition as a contractor, so that pleasant surprise was a great way to end my work day. I guess I’ll find out eventually what award I got.

It’s only been 31 years since my last award for technical writing (as evidenced by the dust on it—it was hiding in a box but Lee put it up).

Plus! At feeding time each horse and Fiona went right into their pens. I didn’t have to chase anyone. Whew.

So, see? Sometimes circumstances are really good! That’s life (and my arm feels fine, because I took ibuprofen.).

Milestone: it hit 100° here for the first time this year today. By this time last year we’d gone over 105° F.

Curiosity: The Secret to a Happy, Long Life

What are you curious about?

Now, here’s a question I can answer! I’m curious about everything. I probably could have gone to college my whole life getting degrees in different subjects. Since I couldn’t do that, I’ve tried to keep asking questions and trying to see how things work my whole life. And oh, how happy I am when I figure something out (examples to follow).

Dusty is **always** curious about what I’m doing. I couldn’t get a picture of all 4 horses lined up in their stall, because he had to come check me out. He’s so sweet and I can’t fault him for being curious!

It’s always seemed to me that people who are curious and want to expand their knowledge are happy. Closed-minded people seem either sad or grumpy. I don’t have scientific evidence for this, so maybe I should look that up…

There’s lots of evidence that lifelong learners stay sharper (on average) than people who are fine without getting new insights or ideas. To me these folks seem to live longer, but maybe not. In any case, curiosity makes any life feel rich and long.

Look! I was curious as to what this is. It’s a bluish-green cuckoo wasp. I found out it’s a parasite on mud dauber nests. Hmmm.

There are things I’m not all that curious about. For certain I don’t want to know what other people are thinking. Nope. I’ve tried, but I can’t get interested in learning war strategies, types of firearms, ways to cheat “the system,” or gambling. I’m not all that curious about how political systems work, but since Lee is, I’m learning about it anyway. It just soaks in.

Lee loves CNN. He took this awkward anchor person photo.

I like solving little local mysteries that my curiosity brings out. I gather my mental evidence and look for more. Like today, my hunch that there was a Green Heron nest in the pond behind the house was borne out. I finally saw the whole family, including squabbling adolescents. That was fun!

In Other News

I made more cardigan progress today. It fits! Now I’m working on the sleeves, which require a delicate calculation of how much of the main yarn color is left. The sleeves need to be even!

Yep, it’s bright. At least I smoked today.

And I have also finished updating the Sightings section on this blog website. I found it interesting that the numbers of plant and insect species are very close, over 350 each (I say from memory, since I’m not curious enough to check). I don’t think I’d ever have imagined I’d find that many if I hadn’t have been curious enough to start recording them.

I’m glad this week is over. There certainly have been lots of ups and downs in my personal stuff, my friends’ lives, the US, and the world. Maybe there can be a little break?

Lost in Time

Which activities make you lose track of time?

Ah, I’m answering this question rather than sharing my current thoughts. They’ll be more refined tomorrow.

For certain, what my husband will tell you makes me lose track of time is nature walks. I just disappear and re-emerge with no idea how long I was gone. I’m completely enthralled by the sights, sounds, and smells of new places or new things in familiar places. I don’t want it to end.

Here’s a new thing I found in the driveway! It’s delicious common purslane, a portulaca (*Portulaca oleracea*) just like the cultivated one below.

Look at the beautiful Texas Striped Sweat Bee in my volunteer portulaca/moss rose

Hanging out with the animals also can make me lose track of time. I’ve just spent twenty minutes thinking about how beautiful Carlton is to me. My love for this guy never ends.

I ended up spending more time with Drew today than I’d intended, too. I’d walked to the next-door unused mailbox to drop something off, and decided to come back through the horse pasture, you know, in case there were any interesting plants or insects. So, I was concentrating on plants when I got a feeling I was being followed.

I kept going until I felt something hot on my neck.

Then I realized Droodles was sneaking up on me.

We ended up hanging out for quite a while just enjoying each other’s company. He didn’t push me around looking for treats, just rested his head on me and asked to be scratched. It’s so good to get along with each other again!

Mostly. That ear is showing some mischief is afoot.
Yes, I’m not much of a fashionista in this weather. That shirt is very orange and the head covering looks silly but keeps hair out of my face.

Not surprisingly, the other activity that leads me to lose track of time is reading. I’ve been reading Sibley Birds, Second Edition since I bought it in New Mexico. It’s only 600+ pages. I can’t stop looking at all the birds, learning new things about familiar ones and finding out what else might be out there in Texas (and wherever else I go).

I will admit to skimming Arctic residents and ocean birds. Otherwise, I’m reading it all. But I’m in the oriole section! I’m almost done! Do not worry. I have a nice long book about animal tracks lined up. That’s what happens when people stop mailing me novels, I guess. (I’m fine for novels! I have some enqueued.)

If I’m repeating myself, forgive me. I’m working on changing my mindset and that can wear me out until I’m through the hardest part (letting go of an unproductive mindset).

Thanks for being there, friends and family. You are appreciated even when I don’t show it well.

Relaxing

We didn’t get any rain today, but we got nice clouds, and the high temperature barely got into the 90s.

That enabled me to accomplish many mundane outdoor tasks like weeding and setting up the pool furniture, work with Drew (sadly, Apache has a sore foot AGAIN*), and relax.

After a good day’s work and all those chores, I went for a nice swim for more exercise. The water feels great now that we figured out that the pool heater was somehow turned on and it’s back to normal! I got in my beloved pool float and just drifted around in the cool breeze. I felt like a happy wet noodle.

No photos of me floating, so here’s this morning’s Great Egret in the pond.

To demonstrate how relaxed I was: after I got out I sat in my chair by the woods to listen to birds. It was just perfect, so chill that when I heard a rustling noise I just looked down and enjoyed watching a shiny coach whip snake go on its way along the fence.

It stopped at the gate and paused, looking at me with its bright eyes, then headed on its way. It just said, “Hey, snake.”

Amazing what a little break in the weather can do for you.

*his foot is sore from getting some stuff trimmed that exposed bruising from his previous episode. Tarrin told me how to treat it, and he’s better today.

The Good Stuff: Equine Edition Plus

A little wiped out so I can’t write something long about comfort. So I’ll be brief but positive! This blog needs that, don’t you think?

I’m just pleased as punch to be able to announce that I’m in the best relationship yet with both my horses. That’s taken a lot of work and patience, but sure feels good. I’m glad my trainer works hard and is patient, too (plus she cares).

These are her filly and new calf. They have become playmates. It is extra cute.

It’s become a true pleasure to work with Apache. Funny story: I asked Tarrin if maybe something was wrong with him, because he’s been acting so laid back and agreeable. She laughed and said maybe I’m meeting my horse for the first time. He finally feels good and is showing his friendly and fun personality all the time, and he’s calm. We’ve both come a long way in that department. Dang, it’s fun to get better together.

I don’t have a photo of him today, so here are two more friends. They are good to each other.

And Drew is back to the horse I enjoyed so much before. Whatever he was angry about has passed, and he seems to feel better, too. I guess his shots are helping. I’m enjoying him rather than just working with him because I’m supposed to. I guess we figured things out.

Me riding Drew wherever I ask him to go. It was fun.

The good stuff plus today was that I managed to actually bring myself to reach out to someone about how bad I’ve been feeling lately. She listened, came up with ideas, and made some plans. It just felt good to explain how I feel and be listened to. That’s all I needed.

I’m going to have to find something fun to do this weekend, because we aren’t going camping as planned. The bedroom slide isn’t working in Seneca (Tarrin’s son looked at it but the easy possibility of a loose wire didn’t pan out). And I don’t want to leave the animals alone with just someone feeding them. At least I can ride the horses. My friendly, well behaved horses!

This female roseate skimmer reminds us that some change is good.

Present and Future Excitement

What are you most excited about for the future?

Gosh, I’m not excited about much in the future. Watching the fall of a civilization and seeing the rights of myself and my friends and family threatened isn’t what I’d call exciting; it’s more terrifying. And I feel so small and powerless (if one more person tells me I can make everything better by voting I will over-react in a ridiculous fashion. I DO vote but that’s not how things truly get done).

I’m feeling old, tattered, and fragile, like this wind-beaten Viceroy

Wait, I do look forward to driving around in Seneca and finding new bits of nature to explore. I hope to have that freedom. After all, I’m a harmless old woman and I have a heterosexual spouse, so I’m not too threatening on the surface. I just want to look at birds, bugs, and plants. Finding new ones is excitement enough for me.

This katydid was new for me: Black-margined Shieldback (*Pediodectes nigromarginatus*), pretty much only found in Texas.

And maybe Drew and I can become good partners! At least he is listening to my instructions like a champ this week. He walks until he is asked to trot. Hoorah!

We are good equines. We will be here for future excitement.

As for present excitement, we didn’t get any with Hurricane Beryl in our part of Texas, so I concentrated on seeing how my friends near Houston and on the coast fared. I was happy that our family members made it fine.

There was wind and .11” of rain here. I enjoyed the wind and the smell you get from hurricane clouds. You smell a little salt are, like the “cool Gulf breeze” Lee’s dad used to talk about when it was sweltering in Yorktown, Texas. To me it feels like Florida, when I’d take long walks at night in my breezy neighborhood just west of Ft. Lauderdale. I just stood and felt the wind for a good while this afternoon. Living in the moment!

Here’s a moment: the blanket through yesterday. If it hadn’t cooled off yesterday, there would have been a whole row of 95-99° highs.

I think the livestock were the happiest with today’s weather. The wind or “something gray” blew open the gate to the back pasture, so I found the horses far away at horse time. They liked that. Plus, Bianca, the lone chicken, was practically her old self today, since it didn’t get over 90°. She was out catching insects and sitting in the water trough like a happy hen.

Even her comb has some color in it again.

So yeah, even though I’m going through one of my pessimistic spates, I see what’s good out there! We all need each other’s support, so if you notice someone faltering, please reach out!

Maybe my exciting future bird will look like this!

Birds, Horses…That Is All

I had to skip the blog prompt again, because it would have caused me to go on and on about my fears for the future. I’m living day by day right now, so hooray for birds and horses! Their only agendas are to eat more delicious food, and in the birds’ case, reproduce. No babies for the horses (Mabel is secretly glad, I’m sure).

That’s why she isn’t in this picture. She’s galloping around, thrilled to be foal free.

My highlight of the day came in my morning walk, when something white flashed in the sky. It was a shimmering white flock of birds heading dead south. It’s weird to see migrating birds in summer, but there they were.

I figured it was the local group of cattle egrets moving from one pasture to another, but they were pretty high. But even from far away I could see heads sticking out, which is not how cattle egrets fly.

When I looked at the pictures I took, I saw black on the wings. So, not egrets. Snow geese? Their black is only on the tips and you’d hear them honking. These birds had lots of black on their underwings.

In fact, I heard no sounds from these birds. I thought back to the white pelicans I saw at Tarrin’s not too long ago. They do have black on their wings. But they made noise and you could really see their heads. Not these. So I concluded these are wood storks, which are occasionally seen here (by me, in the back pond, twice). They must be late migrants.

Or I’m wrong. However, Merlin did suggest the stork as possible here this time of year and not the pelicans. A good mystery.

We will be talking about it for weeks, say the swallows.

Today was another horse lesson—due to vacations and other travel, they sort of clump together. It was extra hot again, but we figured out how to cope. I was very proud of Apache today. He was a real trooper, even though he wasn’t enjoying the heat either. He is getting SO easy to ride, and is willing to keep working on his weak areas.

We’ve found a short bamboo stick is just what helps him move off his left side. And I can use it now that I ride well enough I can use one hand on the reins. It’s what I used to do a long time ago but needed more skills. He and I are really progressing, doing things that require more finesse than effort (perfect in summer).

What’s going on here? He had to pee. He very rarely does that with a rider on. When they pee, you lean forward to relieve pressure.

And at least I got to ride Drew today. He has been doing better on the ground at honey, so I wasn’t too worried about it. First we practiced me being the boss a little bit. He’s getting the idea. Then we did some leg yields and figure 8s. In the SHADE. That part was nice.

It’s a bit challenging, but interesting to see how Drew and Apache need different techniques. No long reins for Drew! But after some pawing, backing up, and “complaining,” I was able to get him to do as requested. He worked hard. I think he sweated more than Apache.

I think we are back on track, though. Tarrin got him even hotter by reminding him how to behave when I got off, so when we were done I rinsed him off while Tarrin messed with Apache’s hooves (farrier is delayed). Drew really enjoyed the hose and I enjoyed watching him play with the sprayer. He just sucked the water right down. He can be so cute!

And that ended my day on a happy note. Hooray.

And there’s a good chance the upstairs air conditioning will be fixed soon! It’s bearable, though.

Silly Costume Question

If you were forced to wear one outfit over and over again, what would it be?

I’m tired from four hours in today’s heat, so I hadn’t planned to blog. However, I can handle this question and want to know your answers, too. Here’s what I could wear every day:

No, my Bitmoji avatar doesn’t look much like me. But it has a red t-shirt, blue jeans, and red shoes, probably in my old age I should trade the cowboy boots for Skechers slip ons. I would accessorize with turquoise jewelry. Under it would be my extra comfy MeUndies bra-like thing and matching soft, practical undies, tie dye print. I’d be fine.

My shadow would look just like this, other than the bare foot.

What would you wear?

Otherwise I had a good day of work and helpful horse lessons. Apache is doing so well and is really becoming Mr. Reliable. Drew was a bit sore and jumpy. He got so sweaty he looked black.

Here he is indicating his opinion of moving left correctly.

I did get a few nice photos of the horses today. My favorite is Dusty and Mabel enjoying a drink together.

And here’s the whole herd wishing you the peace and abundance they have, mostly.