Today Dr. Amy came by with Goldie and Harvey’s test results from her last visit. As we expected, Harvey still has liver cancer. He’s doing okay on his medicine.
I’ve lost weight but I’m still eating and barking.
We were saddened to learn that, as we suspected, the bumps on Goldie’s shoulder are more osteosarcoma. But it’s not all bad. The first thing Amy said after telling us the news was, “Look how happy she is.” Goldie was bounding around, thrilled to have a visit with her medical team and get those stitches out.
I’m still here. Full of love.
Yeah. She’s still happy, bouncy, and barky. She gets to live as long as she feels okay. We know what signs to look for. Until then, our dear girl gets to be loved on and treasured.
In other and happier news, Apache and I did well again today. I got him cantering around and Sara took a video. We look competent.
Even when Apache gets annoyed, we still work together. That’s what’s so rewarding. We are learning hard new stuff, and even though it’s a challenge, we’re in it together. I can’t believe he can canter under saddle, too! In the rain!
He did it. Not thrilled.
I also had a good conversation with Sara, since we did our lessons together. I appreciate her loyalty and understanding. I’m not easy to be friends with, and past me was worse! Growing and learning, we are!
See, I can do it.
It was a very long day, mentally and physically and spiritually. I think the hard things make the beautiful things more treasured.
Apache remembers his old stance when he’s irritated. So do I. I tense my neck just like that.
All my life I’ve wanted to be a partner to a horse and enjoy riding well together. Today was the day! Shoot, not only did I drive myself to my lesson (even filled the Gladiator with gas) and back, but I experienced what it’s like to really communicate with a horse while riding. I can finally say I can ride a horse without mumbling “sort of” under my breath. Give Suna a Gold Star!
Here are your stars, from your favorite bird, Bluey.
I was able to ask Apache (who still has his sparkly extensions) to go from walk to trot to faster and slower to stop just by adjusting my seat. We both had a great time doing it. We still have lots to work on, for sure, but I have confidence now. We communicate.
I communicate when I feel like it. Don’t ask me to side pass left. I’ll twitch my ears and swish my sparkly tail.
As for Apache, he also stepped up a level. He cantered with Tarrin riding him. He did a good job (though he was not thrilled to keep trotting after he’d announced he was tired). I messed up videoing it, but got a few Live Photos of it, and two of our horse friends witnessed it, so we have proof. Give Apache two Gold Stars!
I love this picture even if the light is bad.
I know it wasn’t his personal goal to canter under saddle without bucking or doing weird things with his legs, but he seems to know he pleased us.
I can go this way, too. Whee.
I’m just gonna bask in my personal joy for a little while, and pat myself on the back. But also, Apache and I would like to thank Tarrin for her patience and skill as she’s taught both of us to be less afraid and more confident. A good teacher of humans is rare. And a good teacher of both humans and equines is even more rare. We have to give Tarrin kudos for guiding us to where we are now.
Apache registers annoyance at being encouraged to stand up straight by the stick. But it worked!
I don’t need a horse show ribbon to know I’ve accomplished a goal I set for myself. This will help me keep moving forward in other areas, you know, like making it through the hourly news on NPR (still hard).
In the last few years I’ve done quite a few things I have been hesitant to do. It always feels like I’m stepping off the edge of a cliff. But every time I don’t fall. I live. *
See I’m alive.
I moved to a ranch in Texas. I’ve started and closed businesses. I’ve stood up to horrible bullies. I got off a tall horse without falling. I trotted and relaxed. I hiked six miles on my own. I raised my voice and dealt with the consequences. I’ll raise my voice again if I have to.
I’ve nursed a broken animal back to health, too. I didn’t think I could.
Today I did another grown woman thing. I drove myself and Apache to Tarrin’s. By myself. I pulled a trailer safely and successfully both directions! I lucked out and hit zero stoplights on the way out, but handled them fine coming back.
See. Here we are.
It would have been GREAT except my lesson is tomorrow. It says so, right on my calendar. Geez. At least my horse looked good as he arrived on the wrong day.
There’s something weird in my tail. Maybe Camena will pull it off.
Tarrin was nice about it and let me ride Apache around while she did her lesson. It was a lot of fun and good practice. He’s so comfortable there! And sparkly.
It’s a subtle sparkle.
I got these mane and tail clips a while ago. But hadn’t had time to figure them out until today. I got one glamour shot of him, but not in the sun. I probably should put in more clumps of green.
I feel like the steed on the cover of a romance novel!
I tried to get cute pictures of him after our ride but he really, really wanted to take a nap in the nice sun. I can’t blame him; the weather was perfect by afternoon.
Before anyone says anything, I know I shouldn’t let his reins lie on the ground. He wasn’t going anywhere. The green supposedly matches his tack. I’m sleepy. Leave me alone. Now I’m both annoyed and sleepy.
It was quite frosty this morning but only down into the 20s here. The afternoon was in the 50s (F).
Frosty chairFrost on a clump of Alfred hair. Made me laugh.
All the animals enjoyed the day, and I feel so much better being able to tow horses myself. Yep, I’m a grown-up woman with a sparkly but sleepy horse.
Goldie supervised the cattle. All the dogs ran and played with cows. Little birds were everywhere. This one, and at left, is a Western Meadowlark.
*I did think I’d died that one time I tried to canter on Droodles and was thrown off. But I lived.
I’m hiding and hibernating this weekend, I guess, spending most of my time with birds and horses. That’s just fine with me.
The birds don’t mind, either.
I’ve made sure Apache gets his rides and cantering in before this big cold front arrives. Terry the farrier said Apache has muscles! Mabel has a cut on her hip area from an encounter with a tractor, so I’ve been monitoring that and putting ointment with honey on it. It’s better now, but here was its original state.
Ow.
All animals are as ready as I can get them for cold weather, with water, shelter, etc. I worry about Connie Gobbler, but the hen house should stay above freezing and I put electrolytes in the water bucket there, for her and the chickens.
Thanks!
Other than looking at birds, including a Vermilion Flycatcher today, I worked on my knitting. The border on last year’s temperature blanket is slowly growing (it’s 540 stitches long on the long end).
I have a very long circular needle for all those stitches.
And today I was able to finish the third row of January on this year’s blanket. It looks more like a calendar now. I’m ridiculously excited about this cold front bringing temperatures low enough to have some purple in them! I guess that will make up for having to wear so many layers for a while!
I’m loving all these cooler colors. The blue lazy daisy stitches equal .2” of rain each.
Ignoring the metaphorical elephant in the room (the room being my country) I’ll just share that I tried to paint my nails black, maybe with one nail with a little sparkle to symbolize hope. But when I put the set I’d picked out on, I realized it was actually dark green. There goes my mourning theme. I guess it’s now the dark embrace of the forest, with little ice crystals, which I put on all the nails.
See, not black. Evergreens in winter, I guess. Looks good against the controller of my free Apple TV.
I expect I’ll be slightly off kilter for a bit, but I’ll be here to support my friends and family, all of them. Have a good Sunday.
Sigh. Goldie has new lumps around her right shoulder. Dr Amy removed one that wasn’t attached to anything, and got a sample of the others. We will get those results in a week or two.
We knew this was coming, but had hoped for more time with her. As it is, she’s acting cheerful and dealing with her many staples just fine. We just can’t let this wound get infected. At least it’s smaller.
Not thrilled to be demonstrating her latest wound.
She can’t catch a break. Her hair had just finished growing in from the last surgery. As long as she is living a good life, we’ll keep pampering her. Such a good girl; she deserves all the love we can give her.
Meanwhile Harvey got blood tests to check in his liver and it was determined all his lumps are lipomas, which aren’t too bothersome. He also had the classic swollen anal gland, everyone’s favorite dog malady. He was pretty sad when his anesthesia was wearing off, weaving and wobbling around, but soon was his regular self, with shorter toenails (yay).
The wound is smaller than it looks. It has salve on it.
I love the dogs so much, but I warn you to consider veterinary costs if you get giant dogs or have a lot of them. The team that works on the dogs are kind and competent, but not inexpensive. Having the mobile service IS really convenient, though.
Lee is Dog Man
At least the horses are currently ok, though huddling up in the cold appears to have led to some bickering. Apache is a real hoot vacuuming up his medication in the senior feed. Meds time is now his favorite time of day.
I don’t want my healthy food and supplements. I want Dusty’s gourmet senior feed with no molasses. I scoff at Apache. And I will eat his alfalfa, no problem. I just wander around chasing the donkey away from food. Everyone needs a hobby.
Next up? Figuring out if we still get to go camping or not. I’d feel a lot better if someone was home this weekend. of course, bad weather may make the decision for us! I hope it’s not too cold for the farrier tomorrow, too.
Our annual cold spell is here. It’s been windy, too, so you’ve got to be hardy or foolish to do outdoor activities. But that’s me. Both of those things.
Icy!
Yesterday was honestly sort of nice. I enjoyed the weather other than the wind. The chickens would just go inside the hen house where the heat lamp is when they got cold. Connie just hunkers down. She’s so warm around her neck and loves her hugs and petting.
The horses love their shelter, especially Dusty. He’s coping fine with all his fuzz. Apache is fuzzier and seems to love getting his exercise and not sweating. Yesterday he was really perky and cantering around, though today at lessons he was a bit creaky. Still, he’s doing great.
Cold partners.
I managed two horse lessons in the deep chill. I had my thermal shirt, extra warm riding pants and my huge ranch coat. I look like Queen Elizabeth all hunched over in her English riding outfit.
I love this view over Drew’s burs.
Drew did well today, and even let me get three quarters of his made de-burred! He was lots calmer and did very well with Tarrin riding him. We came up with some ideas to help him, and I hope we can.
Channeling the Queen as I longe my horse
Not much else is happening other than work. We are having the vet come check on Goldie and Harvey. Neither seems to be improving. At least they are having as good a life as possible.
Persistence! That’s what I’m practicing these days, and today was a good example of how it helps. Maybe I keep learning the same lessons over and over, but I keep at it!
Another day, more lessons. Lovely sunrise.
My first lesson in persistence was a work thing. There was an issue with my working hours, and I instantly assumed I was at fault. But, I didn’t give up as I once would have, and instead persisted in talking to my contacts, plowing through emails, and believing my own memory. I said I believed there had been an email saying I should work all week except Wednesday, and my contracting contact found it when I couldn’t. They were wrong; I was right. When will I learn to trust myself? At least I keep trying!
That’s supposed to be a picture of a timesheet.
All the patience and persistence I have had to put into my horsemanship journey is another area where I need to learn to trust myself. Today, my faithful partner Apache and I hit another new learning milestone and gained some understanding. We both have needed a lot of encouragement from Tarrin, but we’re making so much progress.
This was my example of him standing better when he stopped. But he rested his leg.
I learned to do some work on his poll (area between his ears, roughly) and to do some stretches for his hind end. He started out disliking it, but ended up so blissed out that we had to wait for him to get out of his trance. It was fascinating to learn how it all works.
This feels good. Ooh.
And our riding partnership is finally where I’d wanted it to be. Riding is fun at last, not frustrating. Persistence! We can do more than just start, stop, walk, and trot. Yay! We CAN do subtle changes and go sideways and all that. We are slow, but we keep at it.
Telling Apache how proud I am of him.
There’s nothing going to stop me from trusting myself to keep going until I succeed at things that matter to me. Other stuff? I’m just letting it fall to the side. That’s going to help with my mental health. Hmm. That sounds suspiciously like a goal. Do I do those? I’m setting my intentions, that’s it!
Years really do zip by the older you get. I like that they’re all a blur now. It makes living in the present easier.
The present is a good place to live.
Calendars are human inventions, but years happen regardless of whether people are around or not. Years are “real.” Since this is the time my culture marks the start of another year, then, I’ll go ahead and say that I wish you all the best possible 2025 that our combined positive perspectives can create.
Hey look, Gemini can’t spell. I love these AI things.
I’ll rely a lot on small acts of kindness to keep me going. For example, today I was taking my morning walk when a pickup truck approached from behind me. This happens about every ten minutes here. To my surprise, the truck slowed down and stopped beside me. A young-ish man leaned over and told me he’d just stopped to wish me a good day from him and his daughter. A little girl said, “Have a good day!” from her car seat. How kind! I told them happy new year, and the little girl thanked me and waved hard as they left. Ah. That started my day off well.
Savannah Sparrows from my walk.
The day remained good, too. I remarked to Lee that it was the first day in a couple of months that I felt free of anxiety. I’ll take an occasional day like that!
I was so calm I didn’t scare this Mockingbird.
Just little things cheered me up. I got some work done, then I got my journal ready for next year and tallied my December bird sightings. I felt so organized.
Of course I sat and listened to birds. White-crowned Sparrow.
I even got to go out a little earlier to work with the horses, and ended up having one of the best sessions with Apache that I’ve ever had. The stuff we are learning is sinking in! We both had fun and got exercise.
Neither of us wanted to go back to the pens when we were finished, so Apache got to eat good grass and endure my hugs for a while.
Oh, and Connie and the chickens are doing well. I fed them some fresh chickweed and curly dock, and they even stood near each other. I turned on their heat lamp, since it’s finally cooling off tonight. They will keep each other warm.
I’m counting on you, Suna.
This has been a hard blog to write, because it’s New Year’s Eve and the locals are compelled to shoot off fireworks. That means Penney is trying to merge herself with me. Luckily she eventually crawled under the bed, so I didn’t have to fake a sneeze to send her away. I love her anyway.
Sure, my relationships with many people have had a positive impact on me. But I don’t know how well I’d be doing right now if I didn’t have my relationships with animals.
Many humans have forged strong positive bonds with their dogs and cats, as have I. Our animal companions give as well as take love and more. Just being with our pack and seeing them interact makes me happy.
Goldie’s relationship with us is very special.
And the horses also have had a huge positive effect on me, as well as leading to some angst and doubt. But no relationship is 100% positive! I’m just glad to have the chance to be a part of the lives of these very different animals.
They sure have different personalities!
I think I was under the impression that humans didn’t really have relationships with birds, at least for much of my life. Birds were (and wild birds still are) for observing and keeping my distance.
Don’t get too close!
After getting chickens, I began to see their distinct personalities and let myself get attached to them, which is why losing all my flock but Bianca was so hard. I really was attached to Bertie Lee and her friends.
Sniff.
I’m enjoying Bianca’s new friends, especially Clint, who is the friendliest of the current chickens.
Photo by Heather Westmoreland
But I’m trying to not let myself get smitten by our newest bird, Connie 182 Gobbler. She’s a turkey, a white meat turkey. 182 was one of a dozen turkeys my friend Heather’s son raised for FFA this fall. She was always very friendly and cuddly, even as a chick (poult).
182 the snuggler as a little turk.
I told Heather I’d take her when show season was over, since she was too small to show, but so sweet.
What a face. photo by Heather.
Today was the day of delivery, which had to be very confusing for 182. She had never left the barn before, never seen grass, etc. then she rode in the back of a truck! Then she was in a weird place where people kept trying to make her eat and drink.
I’m not sure about this green stuff.
We wanted to be sure she was okay. Um, and pet her.
Heather explains that she will like it here. Connie is dubious. She ate some of her special green turkey food. She didn’t want her electrolyte water. Thought about eating her food. Thought about the best boxesTaking a goodbye selfieThe selfieConnie’s first day
After doting on 182 and telling her that her name was now Connie (in honor of my friend whose mother said her face looked like a turkey egg when she had the measles), we left her alone. The first time I checked she was still in the coop, but walking around and eating chicken seed.
Hey, you put seeds down thereOoh, more seedsI need to rest. My selfie is hilarious
When I went to feed the horses I looked over and saw something large and white in the chicken run. It was Connie! She was walking in the part that used to have a bunch of plants in it when we only had Bianca and she was outside. That turkey was taste testing everything. She discovered millet on the stalk, wild melons, and burs. It was so much fun seeing her act like a wild turkey.
Seeds! Melons! So many things to peck. Ooh. I think I like fancy chicken feed. I’m Queen. Suna didn’t forget us. We got a pear. Getting acclimated
The chickens aren’t acting too upset, but they stay on whatever side of the pen Connie is not pecking away in. I’ll be interested to see if they develop their own positive relationship.
Detente.
I’m completely charmed by Connie, myself. She’s so soft and warm, and she has such big eyes. I hope she sticks around!
What? That’s my superstar horse’s whole name that he’s registered under. If I’d named him, it would have been something more culturally neutral, like Gary or Fred. He doesn’t care, though, and also answers to Patchy or Patch.
Hello, frizzy boy.
I digress. It’s been a long but good day. Life is back to normal, with my bird friends, my chickens, and business transactions taking up a lot of time. I’ll explain all that soon. I keep putting it off.
Fog made for a damp morning.
The rest of the day involved horses, mostly the 19-year-old superstar to whom I referred earlier. First, he will now take his new powdered medicine in “horse crack,” which he wouldn’t before. This is GOOD. If I can avoid the applesauce routine, I’ll be pleased.
I want to keep him healthy and pretty. Photo is not from bur season.
Second, he was incredibly patient as I got him ready for his lesson this afternoon. It has been rainy. That means muddy horses. The hay ran out. That means horses spending time looking for delicious grass among cockleburs. Ugh. I could not finish getting him cleaned up in the time I allotted, so I had to finish de-burring after we got to Tarrin’s. Luckily, I didn’t miss much of Sara and Aragorn’s lesson, which was interesting, because they were doing the same exercise Apache and I worked on last week.
Note burs in mane. It was much worse today.
But the reason I say Apache is a superstar is that he is doing so well with his development and cantering on the ground, and is really working well with me under saddle. It feels like we’re both learning at a similar pace, and doing well, despite our ages. I can’t believe how he is responding to my cues and that I’m capable of giving them! He is very close to being able to canter under saddle.
Riding off into the sunset.
Yes, he should have been able to do that when he was young, but he, Sara, and I had to learn a lot before that could happen. Here we are now, though! We are both enjoying ourselves at last. That was my hope for us, to become partners and have fun.
No burs in that tail.
I’m so full of gratitude that I’ve been able to go on this journey with my buddy, and that Tarrin’s patience and dedication to our success has paid off. Plus, I’m grateful that Sara let me have the opportunity to work with Apache.
It’s been fun learning together, at our very different levels.
Next? More cantering and slowing down/speeding up, plus continuing to get Drew back on track.
Drew: I’m happy just hanging out with my buds and collecting burs. Don’t mind me.
The Hermits' Rest 