friendship – Page 4 – The Hermits' Rest

Another Day, Another Bunch of Plants…Plus Friends!

Today at woodsy ole Buescher State Park was as good as it gets (other than having to grocery shop). I got a bunch of work done, enjoyed my meetings, and was able to take a long walk in the morning. My coworkers loved seeing this in their Zoom meeting.

I was able to find a bit of plant diversity by sticking to the edges of the lake, the dam, and fields. The woods are gorgeous but have mostly the same plants.

Around the lake there were lots of interesting plants and unusual (to me) flowers. There were so many fun shapes and growing habits.

I’m too tired to identify things. Sorry. Why am I tired? It’s a good kind of tired. I got to spend the late afternoon and evening with old friends. First, I got to hang out with my Cameron friends Mike and Martha at their big campsite. It has logs to sit on, so we sat on logs for a good long time.

Martha made a little altar out of chert rocks, sticks, and such. I added red rocks because they are so pretty. This was the compromise, because you’re not supposed to take things home from these parks.

After dinner, Mike and Lee tended a fire at our campsite, and slowly but surely other folks from our group wandered in. We had lots of laughs and told many good stories.

We were trying not to be too loud and not bother the folks who pulled in after dark and were setting up at the site next to us. Then, when they called my name, we realized it was more of us, the church minister and her husband. So we were fine. I was impressed they set up a new tent in the dark. We all had such relaxed fun. I know a lot of good story tellers! My cheeks hurt from laughing again!

Stars through the trees. Big and bright.

There are still a couple more families to catch up with, but I think this will be a nice sized group of current and former Live Oak UU members.

We will have more fires! No more drought!

Here are some other sights from today, including a drive on the scenic road to Bastrop State Park where we went through areas where pines are recovering from the 2011 fire. I hope you enjoy all the trees.

I Had a Party and Didn’t Stress Out

Here’s the key to not getting stressed when hosting an event: do it away from your house. Our little Airbnb, the Red House on Fannin, is a great place to hold a small gathering. It is so convenient to have a kitchen and lots of space for “stuff.”

So, some of my friends had asked me to tell them how I do my nails with the Color Street strips. It occurred to me that we could have fun doing it in a group.

When I mentioned it to Rebecca, who actually sells the stuff, she volunteered to send along a bunch of the nice accessories, like nail files, orange sticks, cuticle pushers, and more. She sent so many goodies! I really enjoyed being able to give them to my friends.

I wrote up a tips and tricks document for the attendees, too. At the party, I just answered questions and did one friend’s nails. That was hard, because sadly, some of the old ones dried up. We Zoomed Rebecca in from Washington, which was an added treat.

My chair is the empty one. We filled the room.

The best part, though, was the snacking and chatting and laughing. It ended up being a really congenial mix of women, and it felt good to introduce people and hear them say they made a new friend. I’m smiling just thinking about it. I agreed with my friend Jeannette that we’ve both made more friends here than anywhere else we’ve lived, even though this is a small place.

What a great feeling! I enjoyed seeing Anita meet more new folks, too. In the end, we agreed to get together again, with or without nail polish.

I’ve sure enjoyed all sorts of friends in the last week. It sure helps even out feelings of hopelessness and helplessness about world events and tragedies closer to home. I’m sending out lots of love, though.

Other People Are Also Screwed Up

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

If I had known when I was younger that all the people I thought were just happily swimming through life were actually like me, confused, vulnerable, wounded, and misunderstood. (Insert other common issues here.)

I’m misunderstood. I’m not being friendly just so I can get hoof trimmings.

I didn’t really figure out that my perceived flaws and imperfections were shared by many of those folks I thought were so happy until I was well into adulthood, maybe 15 years ago. I’m glad I had a helpful therapist!

Here are beautiful golden rain lilies for all of you.

For example, when I asked my friend Anita to answer some interview questions to respond to another blog prompt, one of the women we went to high school with, who we thought was perky and popular and carefree at the time, wrote about how much we had in common in our teen years. If only we’d known back then!

Not everything is as it seems. This stuff came off Apache’s feet. Thanks, Sara!

So remember, friends, you aren’t alone. Take time to look past your stereotypes and you might find fascinating friends you can heal with.

Is There an Ideal Week?

Describe your ideal week.

I thought about this all day long today, and I had plenty of time to think as I worked in the actual Dell Technologies offices today. The scenery didn’t distract me, even though I had a window view.

Ooh, look, the 45 Toll Road! It leads straight to my dentist, which is why I was in the area.

I’m sure there’s some Golden Perfect week that involves riding horses on the beach, bathing in a spring-fed pond, working on the Great Sunarian Novel, knitting in a hammock on a porch with bird feeders nearby, and eating nothing but oysters, fish, fresh veggies and ripe fruit…but that’s not realistic.

Excuse me, you forgot to mention petting dogs.

Realistically, I think I’ve got all the ingredients it takes to make for a perfect week, right here in scenic Milam County, Texas. Here are the components of my perfect week, which might not all occur in any one week:

Meaningful work. I’m glad I have a job I like to bring in money and challenge me.
Writing. I’ll have to write every day, line I do now.
Reading. I read constantly when not knitting, writing, or horsing.
Horses. Every day I want quality time with horses, to make up for the years I didn’t have any. I will keep riding and learning.
Other pets. I have to be with the doggies and chickens to remind myself there are so many ways to live and love.
Volunteer work. I like my Master Naturalist work and want to do it as much as I can squeeze in.
Swimming. I never used to like it, but I enjoy it all year now.
Meditation. As I wrote about earlier, it’s part of any ideal week.
Travel. Not every week, but often, I want to go camping, or to a condo in a new place.
Friends. I love that I have scheduled times to see friends in person and Zoom every week.
Family. Time just talking and laughing with Lee hard to happen regularly. I’m hoping tune with the rest of the family will become regular soon.
Hanging out in nature. It’s a must or I get all irritated and irritating. I need to feel like I’m a small part of the big picture.

Wow. I just kept going there. The good news is that I usually have most of these things every week, so my life is now ideal. Yay, I made it to where I hoped I’d be when I was younger!

Note: in any ideal week the temperature will NOT be over 100°F nor will there be a polar vortex. But, thanks, humanity, you’ve guaranteed extremes for the rest of my life. That’s not ideal, is it?

Why Do I Blog?

Why do you blog?

Oh good, today’s blog prompt is at least easier than yesterday’s, though I can’t complain. My interview with Anita yesterday went over very well and started interesting conversations and apparently even gave some of her old friends new information. That was fun!

Now, today I’m supposed to tell you why I blog. The thing about this is that there are so many reasons that I may end up blathering away. I really enjoy blogging, though; perhaps that’s the main reason! I like writing, especially on topics that aren’t all serious like my work stuff.

Another reason I blog is that it creates a kind of community. I’ve enjoyed reading blogs since blogs were invented, and the insights into other people’s lives I’ve gotten have expanded my knowledge about different cultures and ways of thinking. I’ve found that interacting with folks in the comments is a way to make new friends. The feedback really is a lot of fun for me.

Blogging is also a way to keep in touch with far-flung friends and family. In the last century, people wrote letters to keep up with those they care about. I was also a big letter writer when I was in my teens and twenties, which I didn’t realize until I found a huge box of letters I’d received that were obviously in response to letters I’d written. I also emailed a lot when that came around, but I no longer have time to write long emails to everyone I want to talk to. So it’s a one-way blog blast (and I just hope those folks comment on my Facebook posts of the blog to keep the communication more two way.

In other posts I’ve made on this topic (which I am too lazy to look up, but I remember writing) I’ve talked about how blogging can also be a way of talking to myself, but also sharing it so I can get feedback. I used to journal but when there was no potential audience, I got maudlin and to be honest, I think I lied to myself. For some reason, I’m more “truthful” if I think there may be someone around to call me on any self-indulgent or overly dramatic crap I spew forth. There, a somewhat shameful admission from me.

More mundane reasons I blog are so I’ll be able to check out my pictures and memories of my travels, my work with the horses, and the things we do around the ranch (which can be challenging sometimes, because sometimes I’m not sure if it’s okay for me to share what other people here do).

I can share my old but happy Hoya plant.

It’s great fun to take photos to go with blog posts, too. I’m glad that some of my friends also enjoy them. Someday I hope phone photos look forward to a time when phone photos look a bit more like photos from a good camera. However, it will still be me taking the pictures, so you get what you get.

A tiny ray of cheer. Something is still blooming.

Thanks for reading, everyone. And yes, Mary, I do think there are more than five readers. But I’d love to hear from more of you, so feel free to comment, if you can.

How do you like my Moonlight Swim nails?

Meet My Friend Anita!

Interview someone — a friend, another blogger, your mother, the mailman — and write a post based on their responses.

Hmm, already I am wondering if it was a good idea to do this project where I answer the daily prompt for the month of September. I was stumped about who I could interview that wouldn’t take forever and would be somewhat interesting.

Then I realized I have lots of friends who are good writers, and that actually, everyone is interesting; So, I narrowed the list of possibilities down to who I figured could type fast and was bribable. Okay! So, I promised to pay to take Anita to the Barbie movie if she’d introduce herself to all five of you who read this blog!

And if you want to answer these same questions, you can be a blog post, too. It’s like the blog will practically write itself.

All About Anita

(In her own words)

Where were you born? Did you stay there long?

Stoneham, Massachusetts. We left after 6 months because my dad’s mother died and he wanted to go back to Delaware. And probably also because I crawled out the front door of the house and into the front yard without anyone noticing for a good while. I distinctly remember doing this. The first, but certainly not the last, time I tried to run away from home.

Where were your ancestors from?

Scotland, England, Ireland. I am as White as White can be.

Any siblings?

I had an older brother who died in 2007 of brain cancer. On Mother’s Day. But before that, he spent a lot of time tickling me, holding me up to the ceiling, or hanging me over the toilet and threatening to flush me down, all of which I thought was great. He was a very cool guy with a dry sense of humor and great taste in music.

Share three good or funny memories of high school

Uhhhh, hmmm, hanging out with you in your bedroom, playing records and talking and writing; skipping class to go to the beach in Boca Raton; cutting up confetti and bringing a giant black sign with the middle finger painted on it in white to high school football games (of course, I got in some trouble for that; The Man also didn’t like the confetti much. Huh.).

Share the three things you liked least about high school.

9th grade English: My life was threatened a number of times by a classmate, and also the teacher was incredibly incompetent. A certain “friend” who thought she owned me. The snobbishness and rudeness of some of the more well-off kids toward those of us who were considered weirdos or were living in poverty.

Where did you go to college? What was your major?

East coast South Florida. My initial major was journalism, but the program at my upper-level school was garbage (and my time working at a major newspaper kinda ruined it too), so I switched to Film, which I loved and still love to this day.

What kinds of jobs have you had as an adult?

Somewhat boringly and consistently, I have been an editor in the hard sciences all of my career. I’ve also rehabbed some houses, one in keeping with local and national standards of historic preservation (it was a 200+-year-old house).

What’s your favorite kind of food?

I love Mediterranean cuisines. And Indian food. And sushi. And a good brownie hot fudge sundae.

Tell us some of your collections.

Oh my. Pez, CDs, old movie DVDs. Pueblo pottery, southwestern/turquoise jewelry, books about strange/controversial subjects, cacti, rocks/minerals, glass balls, magnets. diner memorabilia, oddball Xmas decorations, objects from Baltimore. I think that’s it, but I’ll probably think of more later.

What’s your spiritual path? Your philosophy?

I believe there is a creative force or energy in the universe not named God or Jesus or Allah or whatever. It is not an old bearded White dude, sitting on a throne, telling me I have to be good or I’ll go to hell and suffer for all eternity. I believe the world would be a better place if we could be our true selves, without all the worries, pain, and suffering society puts on us. I want to live in harmony with nature; I don’t always succeed, but I try. I will hug a tree, dammit.

Do you believe in true love?

I did once, but “life” had other plans for me. And that is heartbreaking to me at times.

Which of your past pets is or was the weirdest?

Wow, they have all been super-weird in some way. Fiesta, a cat I had with my ex-husband, was a complete lunatic, but adorable. Pickle, my current dog, has many, let’s call them, quirks.

Introvert or extravert?

I would say both, depending on the situation and my state of mind. I am not a natural at parties/gatherings where I don’t know the people. I can be rather shy. But if I know you and I like you, I’m pretty much all in. I’m a strong believer in telling people you love them. You just never know when your last day together will be and you don’t want to miss the chance.

Favorite color?

Green green green all the day long. And then orange and yellow.

Thanks so much! I love you too, my long-time friend.

Myrtle Beach versus Cameron

I promised someone that I’d write a more cheerful blog post today, and since I’ve been having such a nice day today, that won’t be hard. I’ve been mulling over how to share some of my observations about this part of the world versus where I live, and I think I’ve got a plan now. Let’s go, as I’d say in a training video.

What’s the Same in MB and Cameron

This is the easiest comparison. The main best thing about both Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and Cameron, Texas, is that all you have to do is sit around and you’ll meet someone interesting. I’ve made great friends in Cameron by just going to a restaurant, bar, or meeting and chatting with whoever is next to em, and that’s certainly the same at Myrtle Beach. Here at this condo place, you know you have something in common with everyone there, because you all either own or are considering owning a week or two of timeshare, that great business investment (ha ha). Networking skills are useful here and in Cameron for sure.

Just this visit, I’ve met Steve, Bill, and their families, who were so welcoming and hilarious. Plus I’ve chatted with fun people in activities, as I’ve shared, and all I need to do is sit at the bar and nice folks will show up. It’s really fun to have people come up and tell you they enjoyed talking to you the day before, or even better, you find someone you have all sorts of weird things in common with and want to be FFFs forever. That was my afternoon today and the lovely woman I met.

Same picture from yesterday, of a Ferris wheel

Also both places are diverse in many ways. I love how many shades of skin tone and different languages I hear in both places. There are indeed things that are improving in much of the US.

What’s Different in Myrtle and Cameron

And now for my observations about what’s different.

The birds are very different. We have lots more birds in Cameron this time of year than in Myrtle. I’ve seen very few shore birds, just mainly my buddies the fish crows, nighthawks, ospreys, and pelicans. Well, of course there are pigeons and seagulls, but I expected more. No egrets.
Vape shops are the new pancake houses. Last year we were counting pancake restaurants, because there were so many, but this year I was amazed at how many vape/smoking/dispensary places there are. If you need a hookah fix, you’re covered in Myrtle. I guess they must have passed some law that encouraged all these businesses , which have expanded greatly in the past year. (See maps at end of blog.)
Candy shops exist. Wow, there are so many candy shops here. There’s a lot of ice cream, too. I mean, Cameron has places to get ice cream and año cones, but wow, you don’t have to go far for a sugar fix at Myrtle.
There aren’t as many dogs. I don’t see anywhere near as many dogs in Myrtle as I do in Cameron, or even in Hilton Head. Of course, there aren’t any beach dogs here. There aren’t any in Hilton Head this time of year. And no dogs run free in the parts of Myrtle where I’ve been.
Rain happens. It keeps raining here! What’s up with that? Still no rain since June at our house, though some folks I know have seen a shower or two.
There are very different noises. In Cameron you hear the train from most of the town, and from the ranch you hear a lot of loud pickup trucks and gunfire. In Myrtle it’s endless helicopters full of tourists, They pass by at least every minute or so during the day unless it’s storming. You also get sirens when there are beach issues, whistles from lifeguards (especially when a storm is coming), and the fireworks that some tourist place sets off every night. Every night. I’m glad the dogs aren’t here.
There are way more Ferris wheels in Myrtle. Way.
The weather reports are very different. In Cameron you see what counties are under various degrees of drought and where the current wildfires are. In Myrtle, you get the tide reports and fishing outlook. I know the name of certain buoys in the ocean now.

Last night’s storm caused much lifeguard whistling. I saw water spouts.

Yes, now that I’ve gotten a better frame of mind, I’m enjoying my time alone. I’ve enjoyed many movies and a weird television show about Australian flowers. Every day I’ve been going to the gym and making sure I walk really fast for at least two miles. I want to be sure I’m still in good aerobic shape when I get home to the horses. That does involve a lot of sweating, which is how I ended up at the beach bar chatting with various vacationers. I wanted to dry off and have a cold beverage!

This is from last night. Sarah is tired.

And of course I’m knitting, I’ll share my latest progress, which adds many more hot days to the temperature blanket. I ended the previous row on July 13, and we already had two days over 105°. It’s the saddest part of the blanket!

And I’m reading a lot in the book about Florida history I was given. I’ll tell you what, I’m no longer “proud” to be descended from early Florida residents, even though I realize some of them were forced to come there. Those conquistadors were pretty nasty folks.

Thanks for showing up, kind readers. You’re all appreciated.

Friends and Acquaintances and Healing

Hello from a land of clouds, rainbows, and surprises. A week in Myrtle Beach has passed and I’m still in awe of how green and rainy it is, especially compared to another 105° day at home. Blurgh.

My mind is still on things back home. Some folks have disappointed me and I’ve disappointed some. I’m very grateful to the people who’ve been going out of their way to help me and my family, though. There aren’t enough words, even though I’m a writer, to express my gratitude to our ranch family.

I’ve needed support and diversion this week. Thank goodness I have friends to talk to, with the magic of Zoom. Just having friends who will listen and support me without trying to “fix” things is invaluable. My Friday morning buddies, plus work support, got me through the day. Hooray for kindness!

Friends remind you you’re beautiful, even if you’re a weed growing among fancy cultivars

So, after work, Lee took me to the outlet mall to look for a particular shoe. Naturally, I enjoyed talking to the people who worked at the stores. It’s so rewarding to see a tired salesperson smile after you treat them nicely. The shoes didn’t work out, but I came home with a little purse and pansy pajamas. Pansies! Woo! They are interesting colors and not so long that they drag the ground. Bonus.

Shopping on what turned out to be “tax free weekend” wore Lee out, so we went to the sports bar again. I’ve tried not to spend all week at the bar, so I was glad to go get another old fashioned. I was happy to see Kevin, the bartender who’s an expert in Florida history, was there. It turns out he knows the family of my childhood pediatrician. huh!

We spent a nice time (really) talking to obnoxious* Steve, Bill, and their friend Patrick about books and our histories and such. It’s rewarding to meet new folks and get to know them, which is why I’ve enjoyed this condo over the years. People are truly fascinating, and you can always find things in common with new acquaintances. I need to remember this when I get down about the state of the world.

Sarah D says bye to Steve, since he’s going home.

I’m feeling much better, because we have a new author to read (Stan Comforti, a former federal agent) and will have bartender Kevin’s new book to read soon. Who knew how many writers and avid readers we’d run into?

The world seems much smaller and less scary when you take the time to talk to people and get to know them. I need to remember that.

Myrtle Beach in a nutshell. Pelicans and one of the ubiquitous helicopters.

And even in Condo World there are Nature sightings. We went out at dusk and saw dozens of bats and nighthawks flying right by us. We enjoyed it with the folks next door, who seemed thrilled as we were.

Watch the bats!

* I told Steve I’d call him that rather than a**hole.

Feelings about Horse Friends

The minute I saw Tarrin today for my lesson, I knew something was wrong. Sure enough, she’d just found out that a horse in our little community had passed away suddenly. The feelings that went through me right then awakened a deep truth in me.

A very brief weather event brought us comfort. Photo by Tarrin.

I realized that I feel connections with horses I know just like I do people. And I liked this horse very much. He was brave, funny, and very cool, not to mention gorgeous. And he’d had such an interesting life; he was a circus horse! He was lucky to spend his final years with a human who was devoted to him and learned so much to help him out.

I didn’t know him as well as Tarrin or Sara, who spent lots of time with him at shows and educational events, but I liked him, like I would a person. Yeah, I don’t know exactly why, but I cared about him a lot! I’m grieving for him and his human like I do when people I care about pass.

Don’t let anyone tell you animals are “just animals.” We can connect with them, too. The hardest part about having companion animals in our lives is knowing their lives tend to be shorter than ours. I still deeply miss my departed dogs.

My heart goes out to our community member who lost her equine friend. I sure gave all mine extra hugs today, even if they were all sweaty.

Sweaty me and sweaty Apache, with an extra cool cloud.

All our connections are meaningful. Go hug a dog, a cat, a horse, a human, or whatever living creature matters to you.

Bloggers Need Topics

I don’t have a topic today. Things are going along all right, with few exciting developments that I can talk about. That’s not bad at all. We all need some mostly drama-free periods in our lives.

The best thing about today was that there were a few clouds in the sky. The heat dome is moving away at last, and we will be back to normal levels of hotness.

The grass is turning it’s normal summer brown, though, and I saw my first cracks in the dirt today.

I’ve managed to not get too hot this week by doing horse things early, when I have no early meetings, and feeding the horses in a wet bathing suit. Hey, no one can see me! And Drew likes the pool water smell.

I like the smell of fresh trough water, myself.

Mostly I’ve been going through one of my awkward periods where I express myself poorly and upset people, or feel like a fifth wheel in conversations. I know when I start feeling bad about myself that it’s time to apologize, remind myself I’m as good a person as I can be, and to remember that sometimes your best isn’t good enough.

Yes, then I need to think about Apache and how long my well-meaning efforts weren’t enough for our relationship, but with some help, we got to communicate better. I’ll just listen to helpful people about remedying my faux pas and maybe do some improvements in interpersonal relationships. Being a hermit who wants to make friends is complicated!

Let’s talk about knitting. I finished row 2 of the second unit of the giant temperature blanket and can see it was warming up quickly once May rolled around (after the black square). We got our first red squares, which are over 90°. I was thinking today that I could enter the first bit in the art contest at the Master Naturalist conference. It’s a piece of citizen science, after all. I’d have to type up a nice legend and explanation.

One more piece is f good news is a volunteer tomato plant. It’s with the squash behind the chicken house. Just hope no one mows it! I keep forgetting to mark the “plants” as opposed to cockleburs.

I hope you’re all doing well. Please know that I care about you all, appreciate your feedback, and love hearing your own stories.