Drew – Page 9 – The Hermits' Rest

Not Blowing Away

Uncharacteristically, I missed two days of blogging. I was not in the mood to write nice, thoughtful words. Being sensitive is hard.

Plus, there was my pain stuff. The back pain is manageable with stretching and not bending over too quickly. But it was eclipsed by the pain from getting my darn root canal procedure finished and getting fitted with a temporary crown. Even with the combination of acetaminophen and ibuprofen, I had searing pain if my top and bottom teeth met. I was a grumpy gal last night, so you didn’t need to hear from me.

Let’s enjoy a flying Great Egret, instead.

Then there was the weather. We’ve had a tiny amount of rain (the storms have missed us two days in a row) but yesterday an incredible blast of wind came out of the east (not the expected direction) and blew things all over the place. Patio furniture flew, a window blew open, and the trees looked like they were going to snap. I’m pretty sure it was hurricane strength. At least we didn’t lose power. It was scary for a while. Straight-line winds are something else!

When I went out to assess the damage this morning, it wasn’t too bad. In fact, it was so pleasant out that I spent some time just watching a friendly rabbit chewing grass. I love how the sun shines through their ears.

Later I went to get the mail and I saw black vultures on my horse area. I got all worried that Vlassic was dead.

But it wasn’t him. It was an amazing roadrunner! What the heck? It looked like the wind had picked it up and slammed it into one of the barrels I use for horse obstacles. Trying to get something positive out of the experience, I looked closely at its beautiful feathers and strong legs, which I certainly can’t do when they are alive. Dang wind.

It’s not all bad, of course. I got praised for doing well at work, which rarely happens to contractors. That, along with reduced tooth pain, made getting through the work day today much better than yesterday.

And chickens. They made it fine over the windy period.

The best part of the day was that Bonnie, the equine dentist, was here for the horses’ annual checkups. It’s just fascinating to watch how she does it. I was encouraged to find out they’d all stayed in pretty good shape and mostly just needed routine maintenance.

I love how she climbs the fence and throws her rope over it to set up her dental station

Dusty is older and started out with some weird teeth, so he just got the “keep him comfortable” treatment, because he doesn’t have enough teeth to truly “fix.” He was very good, though.

Apache did great, too. I’m always so proud of him. He really enjoyed sleeping off the tranquilizers. He even snored.

Drew has started growing in his canine teeth. I wonder if that’s what made him so grouchy for a few weeks? Bonnie said he’s definitely just about to turn five years old, which makes me very happy I chose July 2 as his birthday! He enjoyed the whole experience, including tasting all the equipment and snoozing with Apache afterwards.

Mabel went last. She handled this better than she did the farrier visit. Bonnie kept telling me how much better she looks now. That made me feel glad for all the work we’ve done on her. Mabel’s demeanor change also impressed Bonnie. It was cool to have someone who hadn’t seen her in a year evaluate Mabel. She needed the most dental help, so I hope it will help her keep weight on.

So there, none of us have blown away, and things are all right.

Maybe I Had a Goal

To preface this, I note that I’ve always hated having to think about goals. You know, like these. What’s your goal for this month? For this year? Give me five SMART goals for your next year so we can grade you on it! What’s your financial planning goal? Worse are planners where you have to have goals for the day, the week, the month. Ugh. Not for me.

I just want to look at plants and ride horses. And knit.

I honestly don’t like to spend so much time living in the future and trying to get to something that may not matter by the time you get there. Hmm, reminds me of my goal to be a linguistics professor. Turns out I didn’t want to be one.

I did learn a lot in school, but I learn from plants, too.

Okay, so, I prefer to live in the present as much as possible and do what seems right at the time. But of course I need to plan things. And I have intentions, like going out in the RV at least once a month. But that’s not a goal. I won’t feel like I failed if we skip a month.

Still, I think there are goals hiding here and there that I don’t admit to myself. Today I achieved one and it felt good!

I’m finally to the stage of riding horses where it’s fun!

I think my goal when I started training with Tarrin was to be able to ride well enough to not have to concentrate on every tiny thing I was doing and not to worry that something bad was going to happen. With Apache, something scary was always happening. We weren’t partners at all.

Today, though, in our very hot and humid lesson, I suddenly realized I was enjoying myself and working on refining my skills, not fumbling around trying to remember to use this leg or that one, look with my belly button and not rely on my reins so much.

I even started laughing when I realized that Drew’s challenging issues turning left were fun to address, not scary.

And when Tarrin showed me how to properly ride with one rein, I enjoyed trying to get better at it. Woo hoo! Tarrin said it’s like something just clicked, and I moved to a new level. I think she’s right. My seat improved, my balance is good, my legs do stuff when they should, I make corrections at appropriate times…all stuff I struggled with recently.

I did better with Apache, but we were too busy for photos then. But look! One hand!

I made my goal! I even like trotting. It turns out that I’m better at it AND Apache is trotting better, too. Together we have supported each other as we each improve. That’s partnership growing. No wonder we have fun together now, even if we get all sweaty. He’s figuring stuff out, too (like cantering, which gets better every week).

He’s in the best shape of his life, which helps him improve.

And riding Drew is no longer something I dread. We are getting used to each other, too. I’m happier and happier with his progress toward being consistent and compliant.

I’m proud of myself for focusing on how straight I’m sitting in the saddle and how good my hands look rather than my unflattering outfit. That shirt sure kept me cool! Better acceptance of my 65-year-old shape is another hidden goal.

Today he was having a little left side issue, but Tarrin helped him work through it. I love that she listens to horses and helps them out so that they can then easily do what she asks.

I’ll allow myself horse goals, but I’m not putting a “do it by” date on them. I want to ride Drew in a show. And I want to canter on Apache. It will take as long as it takes. And I’ll have FUN getting there.

Stay safe. If you live near me, stay hydrated. Stay indoors if you have breathing problems, because there’s smoke from Mexican sugar cane harvesting out there. Such weird weather everywhere!

(If this makes no sense, it’s because I’m really tired.)

Crops Cropping Up?

Well, that’s an exaggeration for sure. But hey, I did find one plant volunteering on the fence line next to where the chickens used to be. It’s a squash! Now I just hope no one gets it with the weed eater.

My other “crop” is a potato that’s growing where I put some old ones to add to compost. We will see if anything grows. At least it’s something green. I have such bad luck growing things here.

My only other crop is my poor asparagus. It got weedeaten. I can’t blame our helper; it’s in with a bunch of annoying native plants (weeds) and some sorta edible native plants we don’t eat. That’s because all my plants failed. But look at it! It’s coming back. I’m going to put my weird tomato stakes on my volunteer and hidden crops so the kind people who take care of the yard will know what’s not a weed.

That’s what I have for you today. I’m tired from training people at work, from waking up extra early, and four hours of horse stuff in the sun. All this was fun, though. The horses are making me proud, and I’m figuring out lots of the things I need to work on! I’m looking forward to a weekend show and learning more. Check out these running boys. Tarrin worked them HARD, but she hosed them off later.

Happy trails! And look, Apache is showing good form!

If only I could look less serious when concentrating.

It’s Okay to Believe It when People Compliment You

Today was a more encouraging day than many in the past few weeks have been. And I’m going to pay myself on the back, because twice today when people told me what a good job I’m doing, I didn’t say, “Aww shucks,” or downplay what I’ve done. I thanked them and agreed.

Hey Suna, you did a good job coordinating me with the trailer and tow vehicle. Thanks, Drew. Do I need new ones for Apache?

I finally was able to fit a horse lesson in today, after the mud dried up a bit. I enjoyed riding both horses a lot. All that time I’ve been spending with them has paid off. Even though Apache once again wasn’t thrilled at jumping, our riding was tons of fun. He’s so willing to do what I ask!

Tarrin said he seemed stiff, so he got a good butt rub. He seemed to enjoy it.

Tarrin did some ground work with him and helped him figure out his uncoordinated canter a bit. In the end she had him flying. I don’t know if he loved that, but he did love the nice hosing off he got as a reward for very hard work. We had a great time learning!

When Tarrin told me she was proud of how far we’ve come, I said thanks and did not try to downplay it. Nope. We HAVE improved. Compliment accepted.

Drew was also a lot of fun to work with today. Even though we each had some things to work harder on, the improvement in how we work together is sorta surprising. He’s getting to where I’m able to ride him confidently. Tarrin said we are getting close to being able to do shows. At first I doubted it, but then I could see what she meant. I accepted that praise.

When he and I were finished working on circles and trotting straight, Drew got to listen to Tarrin remind him of what he should be doing. He’s still a teen with opinions!

I’m going to now compliment my horses. For as much time as they’d spent in the mud and rain, they seem calmer and more eager to work than ever. They were great in the trailer, calm while waiting, and all-around good citizens. Hard work pays off. Knowing there will be ups and downs also pays off, though.

On the way home today, Lee repeated to me how impressed he is with what working with the horses has done for my confidence and mental health. I didn’t disagree. He’s right!

This beautiful bluebill flower is in the clematis family. Thus changes the subject.

I didn’t want to write two blogs, so I’ll just stick this good news in here. Today on my walk, I heard “gobble gobble,” so I turned back towards the creek and found Tom here walking around eating bugs.

This was my first chance to really watch the turkey up close. I’m so glad we have them here again! My friends up North who have them everywhere don’t see why I’m so excited, but we didn’t have them here for a long time.

Even better news followed. As I was approaching our driveway, I saw something large walking down the road. It was another turkey! I think it was the hen, but I’m bot sure. I couldn’t get too close since I needed to go back to work.

How about that? You can’t go down our road without killdeer screeching at you, so of course they joined the turkey.

Indeed, it was a good day for accepting praise and enjoying Nature’s surprises.

Highlights of My Day

It was the first really pretty day in a long time. I was finally able to ride both horses and it hace to avoid squishy areas.

I can tell the squishy areas held some negativity for Drew from some of his recent escapes. He hesitated and slowed WAY down on the boggiest part of our exercise area. But he was otherwise brave and we went all around the front of our property. He’s come a long way.

I don’t have an Apache photo, so here’s our friendly bunny. It’s not scared of any of us anymore.

Apache and I enjoyed ourselves a lot more nice we stopped doing groundwork. He wasn’t into jumping today. But I think we both enjoyed our practice with our skills and wandering around. We’re all tired of just walking in saddle or on the ground, but I think all the time I spent just hanging out with the horses while it was rainy and muddy paid off. We seem like good buddies who enjoy doing things together.

My three equine friends in their field of flowers.

I think that was my initial horsemanship goal! I guess I really do have to think about cantering, after all.

Love, Herons, and Horses

Sorry folks, I’m running out of stuff that’s not navel gazing and depressing. I’ve got to stop dwelling on the end of democracy and the worship of guns over people. When did the second amendment become so much more important than the first? What a world. Ok. Last incriminating expression of opinion and back to cute animals.

Another cute picture of Vlassic as edited by Lee.

So, I’m concentrating on love outside of the hate-filled realm of humans. Yesterday afternoon, Sara came over to do her farrier thing and trim Apache and Drew. While she was working on Apache, Droodles did everything he could to get attention. His head kept coming through the hole in the pens and poking us. Luckily, Mabel was in the pen with him, so she distracted him some. They just did calm friendship things together. Lots of rubbing and nuzzling. It was sweet.

Everyone got lots of fly spray, since Haggard the bill was also hanging out, and like most cattle, he was covered in flies. Droodles immediately rolled his spray off. At least he rolled in a dry spot.

That’s better! You should roll too, Mabel. No thanks, I would rather swish my tail.

When Drew tired of Mabel, he bonded with his other friend, the bull. They played for quite a while. The horses have enjoyed him while he’s been over here.

Apache was just sighing and getting his feet done through all this. Both horses look much better now. I’m glad it dried up enough to get this done. It rained overnight of course.

After the trimmings I was hot as heck. It’s so humid. So I jumped into the pool. Suddenly, I heard an unfamiliar squawk. I looked over at the pond behind the house, and sure enough, there was a large bird at the very top.

I thought to myself, ah, that must be one of the green herons who are building a nest in there. I’ve been seeing them flying around together, and just recently saw them bringing large sticks over to what I figure must be a nest deep in the trees. I’m pretty excited about it. So, I took pictures.

Hold on, that bird has a neck and is not brown and green.

So, I dripped my way into the house and grabbed the binoculars. HA! That’s a male yellow crowned night heron in breeding plumage! Dang! How beautiful. I wish I had a real camera and good lens, because this guy was gorgeous. As I watched him, there was movement slightly lower on the tree. I saw a bill and realized his mate was also there.

That means there were two pairs of herons together. I confirmed it when the Merlin app identified them both during a squawking episode. I never saw the green ones, though.

The best part of my poolside bird watching was when the pair took off. They flew right over me, and with my binoculars I could see the beautiful female really well. Ah, love.

Speaking of love. We have at least ten nest boxes, but these ladies wanted to lay their eggs together. One blue egg, one white egg, one pinkish brown egg.

Trimming, Literally and Figuratively

With the radio news making me nauseated today (good thing I avoided Lee’s nightly dose of depression known as ABC Nightly News), and thinking somber thoughts about the local police officer who died in the line of duty (plus a friend’s husband out doing the thankless and scary task of guarding the border down south, I just want to go hide in a soothing bubble.

That was an awfully complex sentence there, Suna.

As I had the thought above, I was reminded that Tarrin said today she felt like she was in a snow globe that was being shaken. Maybe a bubble isn’t all that safe after all. I think she and I both need a hug.

Everyone has their limits of what they can take and for how long. Most of my friends have some pretty firm limits and strong boundaries, and I appreciate that. I feel safer around folks like that! I looked around at my friends at lunch today and thought, yep, I’m safe around these people. That’s good, finding your tribe and drawing strength from them (and giving back, one hopes).

It did occur to me that I’ve been letting some more negative influences in my life get under my skin. I’m also reading and listening to sources that feed into my insecurities and reinforce things I don’t need to reinforce. What’s that thing…confirmation bias. Yes, I’m having my fears and worries reinforced, and I don’t need that.

That’s when I decided to do some trimming. I switched around my social media feed to help me see less stuff that isn’t helpful or makes me upset. I trimmed my friend list. I added some positive topics to my feeds. Believe me, I’ll still be aware of whose rights are being taken away and who’s being attacked by whom, but not quite so repetitively.

Next, I jumped into some self care, which led to the literal trimming. I got many layers of mud off Drew, in preparation to try to ride him. Admittedly, I spent most of the time picking mud balls out of his mane and chatting with him. I then took him off to do his ground work, only to quickly discover it is still too muddy. The poor guy slipped and yelped like a little kid. I felt bad for him, so we just went for a walk around the driveway. That went well until Penney barreled around the corner and surprised us both. Drew yelled and jumped away, but I successfully stayed calm and all was well.

I decided we both needed self care at this point, so I sat in my chair outside the tack room and let Drew graze on the tall grass that was mowed last week but shot back up.

The weed eater in action

I appreciated the great job Drew did in trimming around my steps and the saddle rack. He seemed to appreciate me, too, checking in a couple of times to nuzzle me. Now that’s something healing that goes a long way to bringing back equilibrium.

Thanks to Drew, a nice swim in the very full pool, and time with my family and dogs, I may not be in a bubble, but I’m in a protective cocoon of love. My wish for anyone who reads this is for you to find what nurtures and soothes you and trim away the excess as much as you can.

*yes, I’m aware an Althea is a rose of Sharon. Trying to be witty.

The Good, the Bad, and the Panic Attacks

Sometimes my days seem schizophrenic. There are so many highs and lows that it makes my head spin. More accurately, I end up with a full-blown anxiety attack, complete with shaking limbs (that make me trip over a dog then drop and break a pretty bowl) and chest pains. Nota bene: I know it’s not my heart, no need to tell me to go to the ER.

See, I’m also prickly and can get annoyed for no good reason, like imaginary unsolicited advice. Let’s back up.

I went to work at the Red House, since I had a training to do and didn’t want to drop the meeting suddenly. That was fine, though I left my mouse at home. Does anyone actually LIKE trackpads? I’m all ready for the training. Suddenly I hear chainsaws.

There’s my kid and his coworker. They inform me they’re going to cut down the dead and dying trees in the yard. These are HUGE trees. I was dubious. But they did get a lot done, plus got limbs away from the roof.

All was well, though, since no one could hear the cutting and thudding but me. I made the mistake of looking outside and seeing the two young men on top of the house. I was scared for them and got sorta nervous. It looked pretty dangerous. I mean, they aren’t arborists, just guys willing to do what they’re asked to do. They also admitted to being scared. That’s a healthy admission, I think. As far as I know, they survived. They have good sense!

I also unpacked a box of glassware from the Austin house. I do dislike doing that, but it was nice to see my Starbucks mugs and favorite green glasses. Lucky renters will get to use them.

Things continued to go downhill as I raced home to get ready for my horse lessons. It was extra hot and humid, which didn’t help. The horses were hiding, because they don’t like welding, which was going on in their pens. (Too bad, I’m very happy the pens are getting worked on and think they look great.)

I was too busy to take pictures, so enjoy dogs playing with cattle.

I sorta got Drew cleaned up, then trudged back for Apache, who was sweaty as me. I was deeply involved in trying to de-sweat and de-mud him when our welding friend called out to me. I nearly jumped out of my skin, which is weird, because I knew he was there! It turns out Mabel had braved the welding area and walked out. I had exactly zero minutes for chasing after her, so I probably looked like a nasty old woman running around cursing.

Mabel responded to food, of course, but Apache never did get groomed. All this prelude leads to this: I had a great lesson on each horse, learned a few things, and really felt calm and together, like I’m getting a clue. Well, when Drew started to toss me around because mares were running up, I yelled at Tarrin that I was going to die. But I didn’t. She got me and Drew back on track. He actually settled down after being frisky because the weather changed.

Im so grateful for Tarrin’s help, and I think the horses are, too. Apache hates to leave her training area! And we get to laugh at cantering cows and thank the weather for cooling down the moment my lesson started. It’s good stuff, the horse training.

By the time we got home, Drew had managed to kick everything around in the trailer and break his trailer tie. That allowed him to mostly exit ungracefully without me unlatching him. That got me all worried he was hurt. That guy! But he’s no longer the ranch baby, because Sully had her baby today, a little filly! I can’t wait to see her.

Sara shared this cuteness. Sully gave birth at her owner’s place.

By the time I finally got the horses fed, I was starving, which probably led to some of the shaking. I just feel like I was not my best self much of the day, but at work and with the horses I was great. Eh, that’s probably normal.

Now to settle that chest pain down. I’ll pet Carlton. That will help.

Too Much Contemplation, Maybe

I didn’t write a blog yesterday, because as hard as I tried to distract myself, I just pondered and pondered the highs and lows of life. It started because the morning was spent at the funeral service for a friend’s husband, who died at 86. It was a surprise to all, since he’d planned to do stuff that day and was also planning to live to be 100.

Not a native plant here, but I still love the red yucca.

I’m glad so many members of our extended community were there to support my friend, because it’s always hard when your life’s story takes a hard turn into a new direction. And that’s what got me thinking of how many others I know who’ve recently lost their partners and how long it takes to get back into a groove again while dealing with a big hole in their lives.

Life is short, but new life is all around. Look, a skipper caterpillar is emerging!

It seems to me that sometimes it’s hard for folks to go out and have fun again. I know many are helped by sharing memories and talking about how much the departed loved one would love to see them doing well. As the minister hinted at the funeral, you’ve not really lost your partner, just physically separated. I could see how the Christian beliefs of my friend and her family were comforting in that respect.

I’m comforted by my experiences that thanks to memories, I feel the presence of my loved ones, like my dad, especially. I always find myself “telling” him things.

Dad also liked moss roses and disliked annoying nutsedge.

Anyway, to take my mind our of thinking about how lives change suddenly, I convinced Lee to take me to lunch at a fun place we’d never eaten at before, the Oscar Store, which is the only thing in Oscar, a settlement just outside of Temple, Texas. We drive by it often, because it’s on our favorite shortcut to Tractor Supply and Lowe’s.

It’s really cute inside and outside of the restaurant, and the food is great. I had liver and onions with fantastic lima beans and fried okra. Yes, lima beans. They were in a yummy sauce. I was full well past dinner time from that! Lee had a beautiful cheeseburger.

After the fine lunch we went to look at outdoor furniture at Lowe’s, because we need stuff that’s heavier and won’t blow into the pool repeatedly. The stuff we replace can go on the back porch at the Red House, since we don’t have stairs there yet.

So, that helped. But, I still sorta dwelt on things the whole day. What else helped was that I spent much of my pondering time listening to birds, of which I keep identifying more and more. Plus, I got to plant the flowers I showed you above. I finally found portulaca or moss roses so I could plant them by the pool.

These will grow and grow, blooming until there’s a hard frost.

That overheated me like crazy, so I had to jump in the pool, even though it has a lot of grass in it from the mower going the wrong way by it, and there were also flying ants. Yuck. But the water was refreshing!

Time with the horses also helped, of course, They are doing darned well, and yesterday I even figured out that Apache had to pee and moved off his kidneys for ease of pee. He was full of opinions and also informed me when it was time to stop riding. He makes me laugh. Drew is way more cooperative, though he was really muddy this morning!

The rest of the weekend is for relaxing. I bought a whole bunch of stuff to make sandwiches for Sunday Dinner. The things I’ll do so I don’t have to cook…the sandwich ingredients probably cost more than making something to cook.

Nothing’s wrong with pondering your and your loved ones’ mortality occasionally. It helps you remember to treasure every single day.

When Things Take a Turn for the Better

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

…you answer a blog prompt? Ha, no. I just thought the question was so easy! I wind down by blogging and knitting. Writing and handcrafts both involve repetitive motion and take your mind off other things.

I’m happy to report that today only started out demanding, however. I dragged all my computers out to the Red House (our vacation rental) because it now has wifi. I was able to actually get a lot done, though, plus I was able to finish the laundry and sweep the porch.

However, I still hadn’t heard from AT&T about replacing my router. So I called the special line for my equipment. I talked to some woman who tried to sell me equipment insurance and somehow I got rid of her and was able to talk to a reasonable person. The news was bad. They no longer make my equipment.

I was ready to throw a brick through the phone.

Folks, I was truly annoyed. I was extra frustrated. I have wasted a week trying to get something replaced that couldn’t be. Why didn’t someone say that last week? Grr.

I was so patient. I just took a deep breath and ordered a wifi hotspot to use until we figure something else out. I think we will do another service. Stay tuned.

The day got way better after I finally made a plan and could get off the dang phone with the AT&T people. I ran home to get the horses ready for a lesson, and somehow got them ready (-ish — Drew still had globs of mud in his mane but I got the majority off his body).

Lo and behold, Apache wasn’t sick and Drew was in great form! All of us had a really good time. Apache is learning to speed up and slow down correctly and stay straight. I’m so proud of him and so glad he is no longer all inflamed. I succeeded in helping him!

Drew was a relief to ride. He has gotten over whatever was up at the last couple of lessons. Tarrin wonders if maybe he wasn’t feeling well when he was acting so funny. Today was fun. I felt like we were working together.

Here I come! Note my lips. That’s me concentrating.

It was beautiful watching Tarrin ride him after I was done. He cantered so well and easily. I love watching him move. He looks fancy!