The WordPress folks have a new set of prompts for this month, so I’ll try to answer them, for fun. The first one was about challenges. Oh what fun. I don’t have all night to spend on this topic!
Neither do I
What’s not a challenge is making New Year’s dinner. My black-eyed peas, collard greens, and cornbread came out delicious, for the four of us who could make it. We made plates to take to Lee’s brother and Anita, who came down with the flu, and have plenty of leftovers. Success!
On to the challenges
So, my main challenge these days is a lack of self confidence, I think. I always think I can’t do new things, so I put them off or avoid things. Learning horsemanship has helped me a lot with this. I’m making myself try new things and I’m often succeeding or making a good try. I think this new bravery is manifesting in other areas, which is really great.
One I’m not doing as well with these days is expressing myself without offending people I care about or causing problems. So I’ve been much quieter for the past year or so than I used to be. These days it’s probably safer to keep some kinds of opinions to yourself but I do want to advocate for myself at work and in other personal areas.
Got any funny challenges?
I’m also tired of being vertically challenged. I wish I could reach things without stools and mount a horse from the ground. There, a less serious one.
A final challenge is figuring out when or if I can retire from full time work. There are too many factors for me to figure out right now. More on that in the coming months.
That’s enough of that list.
It was cold and windy, so there weren’t many birds. However, there was a brief moment of sun that encouraged the white-throated sparrows to launch into a concert. Their song is hauntingly beautiful. It has three or four slight variations, like a fugue. What a greeting for 2024!
You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?
Not much going on out of the ordinary today so let’s answer this one. If I had my ideal setup for reading and writing, it would involve a comfy daybed with a ton of soft pillows to ensure comfort no matter what I’m doing: reading, writing, knitting, or looking at birds, plants, and animals. That’s because the daybed is in the woods! But with climate control and no way for flies, mosquitoes and mice to get in.
Mr. and Mrs. Caracara are disappointed that I’m not building my little room.
Well, it’s a fantasy.
Mrs. C leaves in a huff.
In real life, Apache still walks okay and trotted a little on the lead line. He volunteered. I made him stop. He and I had a nice time with bur removal, too. He’s a friendly fellow and so patient on his new meds. I can’t find the abscess, though.
Dusty sticks his tongue out at my inability to find an issue.
Drew got his assigned exercise today though he wasn’t thrilled. Neither horse will enjoy getting back into shape. But it will pay off.
They don’t get to loll around like Goldie.
In extra mundane news, I’ve managed to misplace next year’s journal. That was the day’s bummer. How can I write in my forest hut with no journal?
Four previous journals. Before this I used large black notebooks for about five years. They’re still packed.
Luckily they still sell them and they are inexpensive, so I ordered more. I like consistency in my record keeping, it appears. I’ll have one in time to set up my beloved bullet journal for a fourth year in a row.
I like this question, because it ties in with what fun I’ve been having lately, including last night. In the past year or so since we started camping and I got in the habit of going outside to do some of my meditation, it’s become very clear to me that the woods bring me great joy.
The old willow tree by the spring in our woods.
I’ve had so many fantastic experiences in the woods these past months, where I find myself all alone with my heart swelling and a huge smile on my face. Yesterday when I heard the huge murmuration taking flight, when I found a nightjar sitting in a tree, gazing at the huge oaks and elms, watching deer and armadillo grazing with no fear. Ah.
I loved watching this doe earlier this year
Last night I had another magical woodland experience. I attended a solstice party at a home in the middle of a dense woods. I felt so at peace there from all the good energy and loamy scents.
Just a glimpse into the nighttime woods.
We wandered beautifully designed paths through the trees near the house, where there was gurgling water and other animal and bird habitat.
This may look like mud, but it’s part of the gurgling water that keeps our woodland happy.
We enjoyed a huge bonfire and honored the return of the light by gazing at the moon surrounded by a halo. It was wonderful to be in the woods with friends, since I’m usually alone. By the time the evening was over, I was practically oozing contentment. I’m glad I got a nice big dose of forest energy. I left with much more holiday spirits than when I arrived.
Nothing better than a good solstice fire.
When are you most happy?
Winter moon.
Yuletide blessings to all of you readers! Here are some bonus pictures for you!
Moon and treesMoon halo!Goldie enjoying the sun Fire shadowsMy bird habitatOur Osage Orange tree. Where the pileated woodpecker was. No cool holesRecent photos
It’s funny that this prompt came up today, because I haven’t had much time to go grocery shopping and ran out of one of my most precious items: coffee creamer. I just love how long that stuff lasts, which real cream does not. And I actually prefer no sweetener in my coffee, but that Italian Sweet Cream sure starts my day off well.
Today’s sunrise also started the day off well, so well it still looked good around 8:30.
What are my other four top grocery items? They squash my self image as a healthy eater. I’m afraid it’s Coke Zero, pop tarts (fruit), cheese, and yogurt. I assure you things like salad greens, tomatoes, onions, and tuna are also present. I eat a wide variety but need my emergency pop tarts.
I could eat dandelion greens in an emergency. We always have them.
On to the good news. I may have mentioned that Drew, the gray teen horse, got kicked in the head by Fiona the donkey a few weeks ago. Since then he hasn’t liked having his head touched, which created a problem due to his habit of eating among cockleburs, which got all over his forelock, the “bangs” on the front of a horse’s head.
This is on a day when I got some of them out.
He had been picking on the other horses, acting unfriendly towards me, and shaking his head if I put on a halter or bridle. I could barely ride him, so I mostly have been doing stuff on the ground. Well, today I had extra time, so I got him some hay, groomed him, and then tried but removal again.
Nice tail.
Yesterday, while waiting for Sara to come look at Apache, he let me get all the burs out of his tail, which looked sort of like a mop in the process of being wrung before I started. I took that as a good sign.
First I did the mane
So today I started on the part of his name farthest from his face and moved upwards. There was some gnarly stuff in there, but I gently separated the mess (wearing my gloves, of course). I gave him lots of rest time and much hay. When I got to the hard part, the top of his head, he got agitated. I had carefully put a web halter on at its loosest setting, but his head still itched. Poor guy.
Note the puff on his forehead!
I eventually got ALL the burs off. I think he eventually figured out I was helping. When I was finished he let me rub all over his little fro. Burs are like tiny hair curlers. Then he let me rub on his face, where the cut had been and I’d spilled oil the first time I’d de-burred him. Wow!
His reward was getting to graze in the round pen.
He was still agitated when we got to Tarrin’s for a lesson. He was hard to lead and his ears were back. So Tarrin did some cranial-fascial work on him and slowly he stopped head tossing. He had obviously been injured and knocked out of alignment. Probably had a concussion or hairline fracture, poor guy. Maybe that has taught him to avoid Fiona’s hooves. He seemed much happier when his skull and jaw were realigned.
Fix my leg, please.
Tarrin then worked with his behavior and got him more settled after realizing his back end also hurt (I’m guessing from rearing and kicking with Dusty). By the time she was done, he was paying attention to her nicely, doing good lateral movements, and acting sweet again.
She told me that if he starts acting mean again that he must not feel good. I’ll bear that in mind. He just needs to be walked over poles for the next week.
What about me?
Yes, it’s true. Neither of my riding horses can be ridden right now. Apache is no worse, and I am to start soaking his feet in epsom salts and water to try to draw out his abscess. He does get to be set free of the pens, though, because walking is good for him.
Must I?
And he will have pain meds for a few days. That boy is on a LOT of medication!
Ow.
I feel bad for both of them being in pain, but I think Droodles is gonna be better soon. Hope Apache is just a few more weeks to get better.
A year ago? I figured the uncertainty and long parade of unexpected setbacks around me would continue. They did. I also figured I’d just stick to dealing with what I could control, and I was pretty successful at that. Honestly, with a pessimistic outlook like that, focusing on the moment and your own business is a good plan.
Twilight of the day, of the year, of this life. All good.
At this point last year I’d already concluded that nothing I do is going to change how people who once loved me treat me now, and that my best tactic is to love the people I love without any limits, just appropriate boundaries. That’s worked, too! Hmm, I’m reminded of the fictional dating service they had on Saturday Night Live called “Lowered Expectations.”
Cactus is living up to expectations!
I decided around this time a couple of years ago to drop expectations of how others will act and to step back from trying to get closer to people I care about. I just go out and be me. That’s truly worked out well, because I’ve felt more welcome and appreciated in my community since then.
I’ll go my own way, with a peaceful heart
I think I’ll keep it up, and keep enjoying the beauty around me and snatching up fun times as they occur. There will be more bouncy houses, I hope!
Speaking of fun, I had a nice brunch this morning with Pouri, and we got to talk a bit. Then I enjoyed an stress-free drive home, even in Dallas. Plano sure looks clean and tidy compared to Cameron. Quite a contrast!
It was also very sunny.
I’m glad to be back with my messy horses and barking dogs (one snoring).
Sleeping Harvey and my elbow.
Did I answer the question? I expected little change for me, personally, but lots around me. That is how it worked out.
Daily Bird
Today Merlin heard a kestrel! That made me happy, because I rarely see or hear them here on the Hermits’ Rest ranch, though I see one all the time down by my neighbor’s place. I guess individuals don’t have a large territory.
They sure are beautiful little birds. I’ve seen them catch food a couple of times and go back to their telephone or electric wires. I wonder what they say on before those were invented? (Trees)
Today’s question made me pause. Yes, there are cities I’d like to see, especially old cities and ones with beautiful settings. But I’ve become more comfortable in the past few years admitting that urban life doesn’t fascinate me. I don’t like crowds, filth, and blatantly obvious dichotomies between wealth and poverty.
Again, Suna rants. Enjoy a sunset.
Yes, cities can be beautiful and have many cultural riches. But seeing all the homeless people, hungry children, violence, and addiction right next to the beauty is hard on me. Of course, hiding on my property doesn’t make that stuff go away, but it’s not right in front of me. Here I can find ways to help others as much as I can and not cry all the time or rant powerlessly about injustice.
Think about birds, Suna.
Most people I know do what they can to help others. I wish some of the people who actually have the means to make a dent in inequality and the policies that encourage it would do so.
Where was I? Anyway, I’d like to visit cities where it’s safe to do so as a woman, but then I’d like to visit the countryside, forests, deserts, lakes, and wilderness around those cities. I want to see the ways people live, learn their crafts, observe the wildlife, and experience the planet. I want to return to where my ancestors walked in Europe and Scandinavia, then just keep heading east until I’m stopped. Then I’d go to Canada and stay there.
Or I can stay here and look for what blooms in the bleak midwinter. Henbit (Lamiumamplexicaule).
I don’t have enough time left to see most of what I’d like to see, and my partner won’t fly. But I’ll figure out something.
If this was a garbled mess, forgive me. My head is all mushy and my neck is sore from what I don’t know.
Daily Bird
I’m voting for the red-tailed hawk today. I finally captured one in Merlin Bird ID today, which is weird, since normally they’re the most common hawk around here. They’re easy to ID by sight and sound (once you compare their call to the red-shouldered hawk).
Handy ted tail for ID
All this year I’ve been seeing and hearing red-shouldered hawks, which are similar looking. I saw one high in a tree yesterday, then very close in our willows today. Too bad picking up the phone to take a picture made it fly off. Still, I got to watch it a long time, and it finally screeched for me.
Yesterday
Often there’s a hawk on practically every telephone pole this time of year, but not so much here this year. I haven’t been to Austin to check, but I’ll look in Dallas tomorrow.
I’d love it if people said about me that I cared about others. Other stuff, well, we look different to everyone we interact with.
And sometimes I look goofy. This is me and my friend Phyllis pretending we’re eagles, because for some reason we were given eagle pins for bring Master Naturalist past Presidents.
I did manage to gussy myself up enough to approve of my hair and outfit for the party I was at this evening. As always, the Master Naturalist holiday party was fun, and it sure was nice to have it in one of the buildings our family worked on.
From the outside Looking down at the setting Comfy upstairs areaMore upstairs The location is the former JC Penney building
I enjoyed all the awards and recognition for people who worked so hard the past year. There were some heartfelt thanks for long-time officers who are moving on to let others do their jobs (some quite happily), and lots of happiness with new volunteers. I’m still the secretary, but enjoyed getting my eagle pin for being President, since I did it during COVID.
Alan is telling us why we are bald eagles
There were two things that touched me. One was that Catherine, who has commented often here in the past, gave me a beautiful old copy of O Pioneers! by Willa Cather. She said Cather reminded her of me. This is a book I’ve always meant to read-read, since I first read it when I was very young and don’t remember much except there were Swedish people in it. What a nice gift.
The second one was that I got the WOW iNaturalist award for the month from Linda Jo, our iNat cheerleader. It was for all the observations I got in the Pollinator BioBlitz in October. I didn’t think anyone had noticed that I did really well in it, but she did. I felt so good!
You can tell I was happy.
We did the Yankee gift swap thing as usual. I got my gift by stealing. It’s a cute glass birdbath I can use by the pool. My favorite part of the gift was a wooden dove that says “peace” that was part of the wrapping. Photos later.
I sure enjoyed my time with the generous and talented friends I’ve made in this program. I hope they know I’m saying nice things about all of them.
Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.
Maybe writing about the dim past will ease me back into writing.
When I saw this prompt, memories pushed themselves up from forgotten synapses and I remembered giving birth and the first day I became a parent. What a strange and incomprehensible new world it was for me.
How I wish babies showed up.
I’ll gloss over the birth part, which involved my spouse barfing all over the place and having to go to the ER, leaving me to labor alone (no family or close friends nearby), then included every possible birth intervention I thought I’d never have, leading up to an unplanned cesarean due to my “incompetent” cervix. I never felt so powerless and out of control.
Then, after the anesthesiologist nearly paralyzed me (and I TOLD him I had a slight scoliosis), I was presented with a small person who used to live inside me. I felt like I already knew him.
Being a new parent who’d just been drugged up, I mostly remember smells from the hospital, from me, and from the baby. I’d never been hospitalized before, and it was a smelly experience.
I fell asleep after the lengthy labor and being surgerized at 6 am, and they took the dang baby away from me. When I woke up, not only did I have to listen to some woman with no pain tolerance screeching about needing more IV meds, but there was no baby. How the heck was I supposed to get colostrum in him?
Well, I could tolerate pain. And I figured out how to drag my IV with me and went to find my damn baby. I’m sure that was a lovely sight. Too bad.
I found the nursery about the time some nurse ran up and said I shouldn’t have walked unaccompanied. But no one was paying me any attention at all thanks to Old Screechy and I wanted my child.
Not gonna go find actual photos.
That got me the child, who I would not put down henceforth except to hand him to my spouse. He was in charge of diaper changes, which also came with new smells. I can smell breasted baby poop right now. Neither of us had ever changed a diaper before. All new to us.
I left that place as fast as I could and vowed to do everything possible to avoid getting cut open like that again, surrounded by people who just wanted me to hurry up before the shift changed. (Didn’t work out, but I sure tried.)
One photo. Me immediately upon coming home, with newborn.
That birth experience was the first time I felt like my body failed me. I asked it to do something, breathed like a yogini, and did everything right, but I got the surgery anyway. I’ve always said I’m grateful to La Leche League for helping me succeed at breastfeeding after it taking 5 days to get my milk in and having babies who had to learn to open their mouths. It was healing to know my body could do something I asked it to do, after all.
This may have been garbled. I’m having some internal weirdness going on after being around a lot of negativity. Not the fault of anyone in my immediate family!
Daily Bird
There weren’t enough birds around to pick one! It was a dreary day with morning drizzle. I heard no birds this morning and only five when I tried again in late evening. Even the owl was quiet. Even the house sparrows were quiet! Gads! The loudest bird was the kingfisher, so I salute that bird for being out and about no matter what.
What is something others do that sparks your admiration?
This is a great question! There’s so much to admire out there! I’ll list a few things I admire here, and I encourage you to think about it, too.
This is apparently a red admiral with its wings closed.
Putting themselves in the public eye. I’m too “sensitive” and easily hurt by being criticized and judged to be someone who does politics, runs a business, or that kind of thing. I truly admire pioneering advocates for unpopular causes and people willing to engage in public service.
Bird in a bush.
Being minimalist. I think minimalist decor, clothing, and all that embracing of emptiness and lack of color is quite amazing. I’m no good at it. I like stuff. Colorful stuff. Of course there’s room for us all. But I’m impressed with people who go through life all clean and neat, with only seven highly “curated” outfits.
I think the previous one might not really be about admiration, more like awe. Or incredulity.
I admire my dogs for living in the moment.
Knowing where every cent of their money is. I’m not a good accountant. I’m also not interested in money, which is not real anyway. I just watch it vaguely.
Vultures flying home.
Being at peace. Truly, the thing I find most admirable about some people is that they are at peace. They like who they are, enjoy their life, accept that everything will eventually pass, and live in the moment. Those people (and I do know a couple) bring peace and contentment to others, too.
The Hermits' Rest 