Apache – Page 5 – The Hermits' Rest

Books to Love

What book could you read over and over again?

I admit it. I have read many books by Brené Brown more than once. I think people need different kinds of support at different times in their lives. When I needed to drag my self esteem out of the gutter and stop telling myself I kind things about myself, her stories and ideas were there to push me toward healing. I’m forever grateful that she writes in ways that reach me.

Just a picture to note that Cattle Egrets have arrived.

Here are my Brené Brown favorites:

Her writing taught me I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t awful. What a gift!

Here’s a gift. My favorite wildflower, Texas Baby Blue Eyes.

I’ve mentioned before that I must have read Black Beauty, by Anna Sewell, dozens of times as a child. It shaped by love of horses and all animals and set me on a path of kindness to our animal friends.

Speaking of my animal friends, Apache and I had a hard lesson today. He is not fond at all of Tarrin’s gate obstacle. I got a good lesson in patience (though I did lose my patience once). He learned he has to trust me when I ask him to do things, and I learned I still have work to do on quietly repeating instructions and not showing my frustration.

It’s like the dung beetle. You just keep pushing until you get there. No need to get upset.

He’s such a good guy most of the time that I know Apache has his reasons for disliking the gate. We will work through it! After all, Brené Brown taught me that being imperfect is how we grow.

Gotta Do Some Pondering

I’ve been thinking about an issue and debating with myself about it. It’s not earth shattering, but something integral to how I interact with others.

I want to revel in my potential, like these future blossoms.

Because of this, I don’t have the blog entry I planned, nor the rant I’d intended to share on Substack. I’d rather present fully formed ideas than total bull. I write enough of that.

I’m wanting to balance thinking about potential with being resilient now, like these poor flowers than got mowed yesterday and are still blooming.

I’ll get back to you tomorrow. Right now I’m physically exhausted and in pain. I’m not recovering well from last week’s horse adventures. Neither is the horse, so we’re together in our elderly aches and pains.

Apache reflected how I felt this afternoon, depleted. He’d have been **less** depleted if he hadn’t decided to leave his pen and make me go track him down in the pasture. I get it. He’s tired.

He practiced opening and shutting gates long enough at Tarrin’s today that I think he gets the idea that he needs to step up his game and move his butt when asked. I’m hoping we will soon have a practice gate of our own here so I can patiently work on these skills.

Back to pondering.

PS: Apache “helped” me take photos of Tarrin’s working equitation-style obstacles so I can maybe get some of my own. He wanted to be in every picture. He had to touch each object. What a guy.

This is what rusted on your shirt, right Suna? I did good on this obstacle! (It’s true, he let me spear the ring with the garrocha pole.)

Adventures in Horse Wrangling and Solo Showing

I thought I was worn out yesterday? Ha. Today both Apache and I are in recovery mode after trying to do the first in-person Working Horse Central show of the year. Things just kept adding up until I just had to laugh.

Any horse show that features an inflatable unicorn is gonna be weird.

So here’s the setup. On Wednesday I was getting ready to ride Apache when his unfortunate lawn mower encounter that scraped us both is occurred. That left him with scrapes and sore muscles and me with bruises and a messed up shoulder.

Then it rained for two days, so no exercise with me, just quick medicine handoffs. During said rain all horses frolicked in mud and debris leaving them various shades of brown.

This morning, I got up extra early so I could try to clean up Apache before leaving for the show, the first show I’d be driving to by myself (Sara couldn’t get away from her new farm duties). I got nicely dressed in my show outfit, put something old over it, and set out to get Apache.

I thought I looked pretty spiffy. Photo by Andrew.

My heart sunk when I arrived at the pens and saw the gate wide open. How did that happen? I would love to blame clever horse lips, but would be remiss if I didn’t point a finger at myself. I do dumb things. So, I turned on the phone flashlight and wandered all over the pasture, calling. No answer. Usually they do respond.

I looked all over our property but found no horses. The sun started to come up. After time ticked away a bit more, I finally texted for help. The nephew and I took the utility vehicle down the road one way, but found no horses. We turned around, and he spotted Mabel’s head. All the horses and Fiona were noshing away on the neighbors’ lawn. Argh.

Hoof prints leading down the driveway showing the escape route.

I waved a food dish at them, but then they mobbed me. Drew was kinda pushy (a lot) so I got back in Hilda the vehicle and the horses followed us home at quite a clip. Don’t let Dusty tell you he can’t canter! And Fiona’s legs were a blur.

After some milling about and stomping, everyone got back in and I haltered Apache. He was even more filthy, sweaty, and damp from fog. Attempting to clean him up proved futile, though much hair was removed. it was time to go, so I loaded his grimy self into the trailer and went to the show, by this time a bit frazzled.

The show wasn’t an unmitigated disaster, but Apache was not himself. He was jumpy, ignored requests to do things and just not all there. However, he wasn’t alone. Most of the horses acted unlike their usual selves and were a bit unruly. I know why Apache was—he missed Aragorn, so he wasn’t happy in the stall, and he was tired from adventuring.

I’m proud of myself, though, because I didn’t let myself get rattled but once, and I handled Apache’s issues calmly. That’s the goal, to work with the horse who shows up on any given day.

Since we all messed up, no one knew who would win any contested division. I was not last in everything! I was second in Trail! Woo hoo. The other two in my group were my zoom friend Andrew and Lee Ann, whose age added to her horse is over 100. Her horse is one of the few who stayed calm. He is a good rider, too. It was great fun competing with them, so I felt great, all things considered.

Everyone got to pose with the patient unicorn. Photo by Teddy.

I made it home thanks to Tarrin’s son helping get the trailer positioned to leave, then tried to rinse Apache off with my broken hose. It didn’t help much.

Next I texted the neighbor that I’d come by tomorrow and scoop up all the “presents” that the horses had left on their perfect, green lawn. She said not to bother, and shared that her husband had thought deer with very large hooves had been eating their deer corn. Oops.

That can’t be good for Apache, and Tarrin confirmed it. He has to wear boots starting tomorrow to nip laminitis in the bud. Geez.

Gosh I hope tomorrow is less eventful!

Worn Out

How on earth can I be worn out on a day when I couldn’t do much due to drizzle? That’s easy. I wore my mind out.

I lost my detachment from current events and got angry. It’s a good thing fewer than 30 people read my Substack, because I went off on the concept of “improper ideology” for many paragraphs. You can read it if you want to. I just blathered. It will bite me in the butt someday, but I’m old and have no employer to defer to, so who cares?

Bluebonnets and slightly more full pond.

I got my stuff ready for our in-person horse show tomorrow, though Apache is filthy and I’m not sure how great he feels. My shoulder still hurts a lot, but otherwise I’m okay. I have all sorts of wound care and cleaning stuff for him. I just hope I have time to get him ready.

That black-and-white blob is a Mournful Thyris moth.

Ah well. I’m glad for the rain. It’s much greener already. Maybe more will come, after tomorrow.

Brain hurts. Worn out. Good night.

A Little Scare, a Lot of Care

Today was a test of my ability to be calm in a (perceived) crisis. I’m still here, though covered in white hair.

Most of today was fun and productive—a highlight was visiting a house a friend is renovating accompanied by two women who had lived in it in the 1950s and 1960s. The house is all modern now, and it was fun watching them figure out what happened to old features.

Later, after a bunch of retired person work that made me fall asleep, I headed out for a grooming and riding session, since the weather was cool and cloudy.

And hooray, we finally have Texas paintbrush! I was worried.

First, I realized poor Dusty’s hair issue is rain rot. All that hair, sigh. I felt so bad for him, but he will get better. Poor boy.

While I worked with Dusty, Apache ate tied to a post where he could get some grass when he was done. Normally that’s fine, even though it was sort of close to the welding station. However, I hadn’t banked on the arrival of Apache’s nemesis, the riding mower, which had made him jumpy last week when I was trying to ride.

I guess he won’t want me to learn lawn mowing sounds. I’ll stick with phoebes.

My son had been mowing at his house and drove the mower back here, which I should have figured would happen when I saw his truck. Anyway, the mower’s appearance startled Apache as I was grooming him, and since I’d given him some extra rope for grass eating, he got his foot hung up in it.

The ensuing thrashing got both me and him some cuts and bruises, though once I got him still, I could easily get him untangled. Training him to lift his feet was a smart idea.

I was annoyed that my knot that was supposed to give way easily did not. In fact, it took my son quite a while to untie the lead rope. But he did it!

After moving Apache, I assessed the damage and did first aid. One scrape and one cut needed bandaging, and everything else got nice aloe spray.

While I was working on him, Mabel and Drew stayed right with him, checking on him and helping calm him down. Their caring was very sweet to see. Apache seemed to appreciate it, too, as well as my soothing and grooming.

I finally finished and decided riding would not be a good idea, so I walked him towards the pens, but he headed straight out to the exercise area, like he was ready to do groundwork. So, we did it and he was just fine! There was nice cantering and trotting and jumping, so I guess he felt okay. It’s a good thing he already had some pain medication in him.

The worst scrape, the only one that bled.

I’m proud that I didn’t panic and just took care of things. I’m also glad neither of us was hurt more than we were. The other horses being so attentive warmed my heart. I even had a hard time getting Apache into the pens, because Drew and Mabel wanted to check on him.

So far, retirement is not boring.

Savoring Sweet, Slow Success

When he was little, my son wanted to be instantly successful at any new thing he tried. He’d get very frustrated if he had to listen to instructions and practice. I had some of this tendency, too, and it didn’t help that I’m a quick study on most things.

Just like a Mockingbird learning new calls.

However, I’m not as talented with large motor skills as I am with fine motor skills (knitting, etc.) or mental things. I know that about myself. Because of that, once I realized I wasn’t a natural at horsemanship (way back before Tarrin), I didn’t pressure myself to improve quickly. I wish I could have, but I am who I am and Apache and Drew are who they are, so things have had to take some time.

Ya know, just like it takes a while to grow a tree.

With Drew, it’s become apparent that his issues are beyond my ability and time. I don’t love him any less, I just know that me trying to work with him isn’t a good fit. Neither of us is to blame, but it’s a hard realization.

Knowing I struggled with Drew makes the slow but steady progress I d made with Apache (and Mabel) just that much sweeter. It’s been good for us to build a strong relationship and skill set slowly over time.

I almost forget how hard it was to keep him from twirling around, how long it took to get his laminitis episodes under control, and how afraid I was to trot. Bit by bit, Tarrin has guided us towards our goals.

Her goal for us has been cantering, which has taken longer than expected, thanks to Apache starting out with a dysfunctional canter that had to be fixed with strengthening and practice. I was happy to see Tarrin able to ride him at a canter earlier this year.

Today it was my turn to do it. We had been building up from fast trotting and taking off after backing up, to get him working off his hind legs. I have gotten pretty comfortable, and like I said today, it almost feels like I know how to ride a horse.

I laugh at that idea and he has no comment.

After three days on pain medication, Apache was feeling much better than he did Tuesday (yes, two lessons this week due to scheduling issues), so he was up for a lot of running. we ended our lesson in the round pen where he was to practice going over jumps properly, I was told. Ha. Tarrin knew he’d canter if I approached the jump really fast.

I lived, though I did hold onto the saddle horn. Slow and steady success is sweet! This was our big goal ever since we started our lessons. We did it! Now to get good at it.

My goal for the rest of the week is not to talk about horses constantly. I’ll switch to wildflowers tomorrow. No surprise there.

Mabel Takes a Trip

I’ve been writing a lot about Mabel, the Thoroughbred mare that Kathleen rescued in 2021 and who I’ve been caring for and rehabilitating since. In the past few months she’s blossomed. I guess the time to regain her health both physically and mentally was just what she needed to come back and do more than eat and sleep (though she’d be happy to do that).

Look at that engaged and interested face!

So today, not only did I take Apache for a lesson, Mabel went, too!

Now, Mabel obviously had training before we got her, since she was willing to let people ride her and trailered well.

But she looked sad and was so thin (this was not too long after we got her, and she’d filled out some already.

I was interested to see what she retained and where I could help her develop stronger muscles and a stronger relationship with me. So she walked into the trailer like a champ and went to Tarrin’s. Apache was gracious.

She did not enjoy the trip and pooped everywhere and made a slippery mess. So Apache did his lesson first while Mabel neighed a lot and was agitated. Tarrin said that shouldn’t be surprising in a new space where she didn’t ask to go. Poor dear. It was also extremely windy (again), which wasn’t fun for horses or people. So much dust.

By the time it was her turn, she had settled down and we did work with her. We made lots of progress together and I have lots of things to practice with her now. She never stopped looking engaged and happy, even with some corrections needed. Tarrin said she was smart. She probably says that to all the horse owners.

Backing up was fun to work on. We will get it all figured out, I’m sure!

Apache had an excellent nap during Mabel’s lesson. He’s a bit stiff so he’s getting pain meds for a short while until the grass settles down. At least he isn’t lame!

Wake me up when it’s time to go home, says Apache.

Before we left, Tarrin fitted the black saddle Drew had been using on Mabel’s shape. She has asymmetrical shoulders. Huh. Apache’s old cinch worked fine, so I can exercise her with the saddle to build more strength up. She isn’t ready to be ridden again yet, but it shouldn’t be too long.

Saddle fitting. It’s great to have an adjustable saddle that works on all shapes and sizes! Bonus dog butt.

One more thing! When we got home, Dusty and Drew were crowding the gate wanting to greet Mabel. I guess she’s their girlfriend. It was hard to bring her in until I shooed the boys away. It was sweet.

She already stopped pulling when walking the circle. Good girl.

I hope tomorrow is less windy. I have a bunch of things to do! But for now I’m enjoying a lavender face mask to get rid of the last of the dust!

Visiting Aransas National Wildlife Reserve

Yesterday we reluctantly checked out of our cute and convenient hotel, and after I bought a new hat (my Master Naturalist hat is now part of the oyster beds), we embarked on the journey to the nearby wildlife reserve. We’d seen the water side of it when we went on the boat ride. Now was time to see the land parts (and more water).

The Inn at Fulton Harbor is a pleasant place.

We were somewhat hampered by the fact that the headquarters had no power. But we wanted to be outside anyway. There were many plants and birds to identify. I went over to some oak trees and saw a Couch’s Kingbird and Great Kiskadee. That was a nice switch from all the water and shore birds earlier.

The bonus was an alligator, conveniently located in the alligator viewing area.

We next drove to Jones Lake, a freshwater lake on the reserve. It was really low, so all the life was concentrated around it. There was a group of Blue-winged Teals and one Greater Yellowlegs off on one side, and a family of feral hogs on the other. In the middle, in what little water was left, was an alligator.

Only after a while did we realize there was another gator on the shore. It was huge. It looked like it had eaten a piglet. I bet it’s famous in these parts!

Next we ventured past the bay on our way to the observation decks and boardwalks. No one wanted to go up but me, even though there was a ramp to go up, not stairs. The view was beautiful across the islands and water. I saw herons and egrets, but that’s about it for birds.

After that we walked the boardwalk and trail with our cameras going like crazy. Watching Linda Jo and Ann discussing the plants they encounter is quite educational. They know so much about nature. I’m privileged to get to spend time with them.

Once we were done, we took the long way back along the nine-mile interior road. It’s not spectacular scenery but it’s certainly an interesting ecosystem for all the animals, plants, and fishies. one thing is for sure: this place is huge. I’m glad we made this trip.

There definitely was a lot to see in this unique habitat.

Whew. We were done! We chatted on the way home and it seemed like no time until we were back.

I was wiped out when I got home but of course took care of the horses. Then I collapsed.

Today I did chores and more chores, but it was such a pleasant day that I enjoyed it all. As a bonus I went out in our former woods to see if any of the interesting wildflowers were blooming yet. Yes! The spring beauties were where they were last year! I do love those stripey darlings.

I also verified that although it’s dryer than usual, both our springs are still flowing. That’s a relief.

I also found a few bluebonnets starting to bloom, just a couple weeks late. I feel more settled.

Apache didn’t feel settled this afternoon. I was proud of how well he handled many trucks driving around and a lawn mower attacking his area. He didn’t get upset until we were done and Lee pulled the lawn mower up. I wish I’d gotten a picture of the stink eye he was giving Lee.

Instead, enjoy Penney in a rare display of dignity.

I guess in summary we had a great trip to the coast and it was equally fine to come home. On to week 2 of unemployment. I mean, retirement.

A Little Success Lifts the Faltering Spirit

The past few months have been pretty heavy. There hasn’t been much to counterbalance the sad, scary, and stressful. I miss Goldie, I’m disappointed that Drew and I aren’t meshing well, I miss the routine of a job (after ONE day of “retirement”), and I worry that more bad things will happen to people I love. As I read today, we’re in the middle of “the troubles” we’ve been warned about for so long.

With that background, you can imagine I would be in the market for some potentially positive counterbalance! Sure, hanging out in nature helps. But I was pretty sure by this afternoon that I could use more.

Spotted Horse to the Rescue!

It had been a while since I’d had an Apache horsemanship lesson, thanks to Tarrin’s glamorous famous horse trainer adventures and my endless nature exploration. Today there was a lesson scheduled, which was good news.

Maybe good news for you, Suna. It means I have to work.

One of the many disappointments last week was that I had to cancel going to a friend’s arena to participate in the first horse show of the year, a “virtual show,” where you can be anywhere and just film yourself doing the show tests. The weather yesterday did NOT cooperate.

That meant more time for Apache to bury his head in burs and make his forelock look silly.

I figured that part of my show was not in the cards. But I heard that Tarrin had the show obstacles set up at her house, and asked if I could do the two parts of the show during my lesson. She said yes, so I groomed the heck out of Apache (who had decided it was a fun idea to roll his white body on fresh green grass) and packed up a shirt with a collar and a belt. Off we went to see how we could do in a more laid-back setting.

Heading off to the arena. He’s loaded down with equipment.

Lee came along, too, with the fancy camera. He was also drafted into filming. What a trooper.

This is my favorite of his pictures. I’m talking to Apache while holding an awkward object and he is giving side eye.

Imagine my surprise when Tarrin said we’d do all three parts of the show this afternoon. She had the dressage arena set up, too. Unfortunately, I’d barely studied the dressage test, thinking I wasn’t doing it. Oops.

Lee was filming during dressage, so enjoy this photo of one of the horses in training.

But guess what? It all went just fine. Even I could tell that Apache and I have both improved, though he was trotting like the RV going down a dirt road: bouncy. We did okay on dressage!

On the next part, I was very pleased with his stops and starts and his patience at the four obstacles involving picking up objects.

I was pleased with myself for managing to ride over a bridge, step him over a tractor tire, and do a slalom all while holding an awkward object. He even backed up appropriately and side passed over a poke! Major improvement there .

Sure, our gate opening leaves a lot to be desired, and he stopped during transitions on the barrel maneuver, but we can work on that! I was so proud of us.

Will we get a ribbon? I am not even worried about that. I’m just so pleased that we are improving that I don’t need to compare myself to anyone who’s on a different part of their journey with their horse. See, I learned another life lesson, one that makes shows much more fun.

Having a bit of hard-earned success with my horse is just what I needed to buoy my spirits. I’m feeling more hopeful that I’ll find ways to get by, keep up with horse lessons, and have positive counterbalances to the near-overwhelming doom and gloom.

Happy False Spring

There’s always a warm front that fools us into thinking winter’s over here in Texas. It often happens when the first migratory birds show up. This year, a Purple Martin arrived yesterday followed by a Scissortail Flycatcher today. Both were males. These are “scouts,” checking out the neighborhood.

I had to grab this fast, but you can see his long tail.

False spring arrives out of nowhere. One week you’re wearing all your layers, the next week you look like this.

Yep, the first orange (above 85°) flower on my temperature blanket will mark this day. I dripped with sweat for the first time in 2025, something I’d have gladly waited for. Apache, still in full winter furriness could have done without a lesson today, too.

We have confidence that this winter warmth will fade in a week or so. Until then, I’ll be able to enjoy birds in the mornings and sweat with the horses in the afternoons. And it will be good hiking weather, I hope.

Flowers are popping up! Red stemmed stork’s bill.

After a sweaty grooming session (my equine companion was entranced by a hawk and not very cooperative), we had another good lesson. Apache is learning finesse very quickly, as soon as I figure it out.

Yeah Suna. You’re holding me back. Let’s get rid of your head.

The cool achievement today was very smooth stopping. He can stop immediately from a fast trot and I hardly feel it. It’s my favorite feature so far in our journey toward cantering. We practice stopping a lot. Then going. Anyway, it’s fun to improve at our own pace.

I’m glad we had the lesson, even though Tarrin wasn’t feeling great. It made up for a challenging work day and some hard conversations with my friends. Plus it was nice of Lee to come along and take photos of me and faithful Apache. He also took cute pictures of Tarrin’s pets.