The Hermits' Rest

Tears of Joy

What brings a tear of joy to your eye?

If you’ve read my blog more than a few times, you know I’m easily filled with awe and wonder, and yes, occasionally brought to tears. And pretty much every time that happens, it’s something in nature that surprises me in a happy way.

I didn’t expect to see these roseate spoonbills in 2019. I cried.

Since I’m always looking for beauty around me, it’s not rare to find me stop in my tracks and tear up, whether it’s a bird that appears in front of me, a cloud formation, or discovering a doe looking at me in the woods.

I cried when I realized I was sharing my moment with this beautiful doe last May.

I just love these moments; I guess they are super-glimmers that are more than just moments of joy and can lead to treasured memories.

I’ll never forget finding a flock of storks in our pond a year ago.

Heck, I’m smiling right now, just thinking of some of these moments that brought a tear to my eyes.

Finding a turkey on our creek not only made me cry, but I think I hyperventilated

Why Do I Blog?

Why do you blog?

Oh good, today’s blog prompt is at least easier than yesterday’s, though I can’t complain. My interview with Anita yesterday went over very well and started interesting conversations and apparently even gave some of her old friends new information. That was fun!

Now, today I’m supposed to tell you why I blog. The thing about this is that there are so many reasons that I may end up blathering away. I really enjoy blogging, though; perhaps that’s the main reason! I like writing, especially on topics that aren’t all serious like my work stuff.

Another reason I blog is that it creates a kind of community. I’ve enjoyed reading blogs since blogs were invented, and the insights into other people’s lives I’ve gotten have expanded my knowledge about different cultures and ways of thinking. I’ve found that interacting with folks in the comments is a way to make new friends. The feedback really is a lot of fun for me.

Blogging is also a way to keep in touch with far-flung friends and family. In the last century, people wrote letters to keep up with those they care about. I was also a big letter writer when I was in my teens and twenties, which I didn’t realize until I found a huge box of letters I’d received that were obviously in response to letters I’d written. I also emailed a lot when that came around, but I no longer have time to write long emails to everyone I want to talk to. So it’s a one-way blog blast (and I just hope those folks comment on my Facebook posts of the blog to keep the communication more two way.

In other posts I’ve made on this topic (which I am too lazy to look up, but I remember writing) I’ve talked about how blogging can also be a way of talking to myself, but also sharing it so I can get feedback. I used to journal but when there was no potential audience, I got maudlin and to be honest, I think I lied to myself. For some reason, I’m more “truthful” if I think there may be someone around to call me on any self-indulgent or overly dramatic crap I spew forth. There, a somewhat shameful admission from me.

More mundane reasons I blog are so I’ll be able to check out my pictures and memories of my travels, my work with the horses, and the things we do around the ranch (which can be challenging sometimes, because sometimes I’m not sure if it’s okay for me to share what other people here do).

I can share my old but happy Hoya plant.

It’s great fun to take photos to go with blog posts, too. I’m glad that some of my friends also enjoy them. Someday I hope phone photos look forward to a time when phone photos look a bit more like photos from a good camera. However, it will still be me taking the pictures, so you get what you get.

A tiny ray of cheer. Something is still blooming.

Thanks for reading, everyone. And yes, Mary, I do think there are more than five readers. But I’d love to hear from more of you, so feel free to comment, if you can.

How do you like my Moonlight Swim nails?

Meet My Friend Anita!

Interview someone — a friend, another blogger, your mother, the mailman — and write a post based on their responses.

Hmm, already I am wondering if it was a good idea to do this project where I answer the daily prompt for the month of September. I was stumped about who I could interview that wouldn’t take forever and would be somewhat interesting.

Then I realized I have lots of friends who are good writers, and that actually, everyone is interesting; So, I narrowed the list of possibilities down to who I figured could type fast and was bribable. Okay! So, I promised to pay to take Anita to the Barbie movie if she’d introduce herself to all five of you who read this blog!

And if you want to answer these same questions, you can be a blog post, too. It’s like the blog will practically write itself.

All About Anita

(In her own words)

Where were you born? Did you stay there long?

Stoneham, Massachusetts. We left after 6 months because my dad’s mother died and he wanted to go back to Delaware. And probably also because I crawled out the front door of the house and into the front yard without anyone noticing for a good while. I distinctly remember doing this. The first, but certainly not the last, time I tried to run away from home.

Where were your ancestors from?

Scotland, England, Ireland. I am as White as White can be.

Any siblings?

I had an older brother who died in 2007 of brain cancer. On Mother’s Day. But before that, he spent a lot of time tickling me, holding me up to the ceiling, or hanging me over the toilet and threatening to flush me down, all of which I thought was great. He was a very cool guy with a dry sense of humor and great taste in music.

Share three good or funny memories of high school

Uhhhh, hmmm, hanging out with you in your bedroom, playing records and talking and writing; skipping class to go to the beach in Boca Raton; cutting up confetti and bringing a giant black sign with the middle finger painted on it in white to high school football games (of course, I got in some trouble for that; The Man also didn’t like the confetti much. Huh.).

Share the three things you liked least about high school.

9th grade English: My life was threatened a number of times by a classmate, and also the teacher was incredibly incompetent. A certain “friend” who thought she owned me. The snobbishness and rudeness of some of the more well-off kids toward those of us who were considered weirdos or were living in poverty.

Where did you go to college? What was your major?

East coast South Florida. My initial major was journalism, but the program at my upper-level school was garbage (and my time working at a major newspaper kinda ruined it too), so I switched to Film, which I loved and still love to this day.

What kinds of jobs have you had as an adult?

Somewhat boringly and consistently, I have been an editor in the hard sciences all of my career. I’ve also rehabbed some houses, one in keeping with local and national standards of historic preservation (it was a 200+-year-old house).

What’s your favorite kind of food?

I love Mediterranean cuisines. And Indian food. And sushi. And a good brownie hot fudge sundae.

Tell us some of your collections.

Oh my. Pez, CDs, old movie DVDs. Pueblo pottery, southwestern/turquoise jewelry, books about strange/controversial subjects, cacti, rocks/minerals, glass balls, magnets. diner memorabilia, oddball Xmas decorations, objects from Baltimore. I think that’s it, but I’ll probably think of more later.

What’s your spiritual path? Your philosophy?

I believe there is a creative force or energy in the universe not named God or Jesus or Allah or whatever. It is not an old bearded White dude, sitting on a throne, telling me I have to be good or I’ll go to hell and suffer for all eternity. I believe the world would be a better place if we could be our true selves, without all the worries, pain, and suffering society puts on us. I want to live in harmony with nature; I don’t always succeed, but I try. I will hug a tree, dammit.

Do you believe in true love?

I did once, but “life” had other plans for me. And that is heartbreaking to me at times.

Which of your past pets is or was the weirdest?

Wow, they have all been super-weird in some way. Fiesta, a cat I had with my ex-husband, was a complete lunatic, but adorable. Pickle, my current dog, has many, let’s call them, quirks.

Introvert or extravert?

I would say both, depending on the situation and my state of mind. I am not a natural at parties/gatherings where I don’t know the people. I can be rather shy. But if I know you and I like you, I’m pretty much all in. I’m a strong believer in telling people you love them. You just never know when your last day together will be and you don’t want to miss the chance.

Favorite color?

Green green green all the day long. And then orange and yellow.

Thanks so much! I love you too, my long-time friend.

Old and Frustrated

How are you feeling right now?

For September I’ve decided to do an experiment. I’m going to answer the daily prompt that WordPress keeps asking me to respond to, and see how it fits in with what I want to talk about.

Something is blooming on September 1, at least.

So, how AM I feeling today?

Mostly I’m feeling very old. This has been a hard few weeks among my circles. Today another wonderful friend and role model, Norma, died after a valiant struggle to recover from infections. She was a wise breastfeeding advocate, a wonderful writer, and a font (fount?) of humor, especially Jewish.

Yesterday there was another loss close to our family. It reminds me of all the things that you leave behind for others to deal with. Oh please, family, pick a few things you like and auction the rest off. Just scatter my ashes around some trees. I’d like to help.

Yeah. I’m old. But I don’t feel like it. I have so much more to learn. Sigh. I hope my friends who’ve passed (as well as me) get a chance to come back and learn more. Maybe I’ll be a horse.

I still have so many cute horses to pet and tell them they’re good. (I’m doing that here, as Drew stops like a champ.)

I’m also frustrated. But that’s temporary. It was one of those days where whatever I tried to do didn’t quite work out. For example, I missed my 10am meeting, thinking it was at 11. Then I showed up a half hour early to lunch with Anita. At least lunch at the coffee shop was great!

Soup I had for lunch, and plug for the coffee shop.

And I didn’t get upset about this (on purpose, since horses can tell you’re upset) but the darned horses opened a gate and got out TWICE today! It’s no trouble to get them back in at meal time, but when I was relaxing in the pool and looked over to see Apache walking up to the chicken house, I was not amused.

Mmm. Lots of green grass over by the septic field. It’s a place I’m not supposed to take them, but they took themselves.

Note that it’s much harder to entice horses away from what they perceive as better food after they ate their rations and supplements. Still, I was very surprised to see Apache, Mabel, and Fiona come when I called. Dusty came close, so I haltered him and got him in.

I found Droodles hiding between the tack room and Kathleen’s RV, where the grass is quite nice, because it’s shady. He indicated that he’d like to stay, but accepted a cookie and a halter, so I succeeded in not losing my cool (once, a little — I’m human).

I put a bungee cord around the gate they keep opening. I’ll be interested to see how it holds up overnight.

I’m sure the horses are just as annoyed with me as I am with them, because I didn’t give them a bale of hay today. That’s because as I was moving their saddles back to the tack room from the horse trailer, my wagon blew a tire. I can’t carry hay. I’ll empty the wheelbarrow and use it in the morning. I’d love to use the utility vehicle, but it’s bed is full. Woe is me, ranch lady problems. But, hey, I can now open the shipping container doors to get hay out and have figured a way to get to more bales, so I’m a semi-competent ranch lady.

Sitting and Knitting

Today, I was casting my mind back to times when I felt safe and secure. I don’t feel that way much of the time these days. Too much animosity and too much that baffles me.

The one time I truly felt safe and free to be me came between middle school and high school, when my parents sent sad, mopey Suna to spend two weeks with the people who lived across the street from us in Gainesville. I had a borrowed bike and no agenda while Lila and Ralph were at work. I read, I walked, I cycled through town trying to memorize every old house and tiny lane. I pined after the boy I’d liked before I had to move away.

No one picked on me, no one put pressure on me to be more feminine, no one tried to guilt me into doing things I didn’t want to. My anxiety (which I didn’t know was anxiety at the time) went way down.

Every night after dinner, we sat in their little living room with their two Basenjis. Ralph read and Lila and I knitted (I may have crocheted). I remember feeling so peaceful with this happy older couple enjoying each other’s company. At that time, the idea came to me that my happy times might be like that.

As I’ve looked and looked for peace and safety, I have always felt safest in my home with my partner, occupying my hands with a craft. This evening, for example, I felt a wave of calm and contentment as I watched yet another square of my blanket complete. I’m continuing Lila’s tradition of just sitting and knitting in peace and safety. (Even if it’s fleeting)

Plus, I had a sweet glimmer today, as I floated in the pool after horse time. I felt something in my arm, opened my eyes, and came face to face with another of our ubiquitous damselflies. They love the pool. This one was so pale as to appear ghostly gray. She ended up on my watch, and as the wind blew us around, she came between me and the afternoon sun. Her little wings just glowed. That was a glimmer.

I looked at her. She looked at me. Photo by MacroGrant.

I was disappointed in the moon tonight, since the full, blue super moon’s rise was behind a bank of clouds. Around 9 pm we went back out to enjoy its intense glow. None of the photos came out well, but my mind captured it!

As a bonus, I saw this year’s resident Gulf Coast Toad on the front porch as I headed inside. At first she was flattened so much that she looked like cow poop. She sat up, and from that perspective she was shaped like an ostrich egg. I guess she’s found plenty to eat during the drought. I’m glad for the big gal!

The Weather Gods Smiled

Today was my first horse lesson since July. I was not sad to miss trying to learn while getting heatstroke. What a relief it was to have a break in the weather —two days with highs less than 100. Plus there were lovely clouds (Tarrin says it’s my job to bring them) and a nice breeze.

There was NO breeze at sunrise, so I sweated during horse and hay work.

I could concentrate on learning and so could the horses. Apache showed how hard he studied since I got back from Myrtle Beach and did his skills pretty well. I’m just so proud of him.

Drew has some work to do to get back his leg strength and re-learn to focus, but it shouldn’t take long. He’s still just the sweetest little boundary pusher.

I’m really not interested in sunset photography, Mom.

A bonus of getting home at sunset was seeing the beautiful full moon rise. It’s also a blue moon and I think a super moon? Anyway, I enjoyed watching it rise as the sky turned beautiful colors in every direction.

I couldn’t decide what parts of the sky were prettier. Judging from the impatient nickers I heard, the horses and Fiona weren’t as enthralled as I was. They did get their food!

It was a good day all around for me. I even got to have a work meeting with a Facebook friend, which was fun. We were tickled pink. I’m glad for these bright spots. The more glimmers the better!

Letting Go…Probably Good

In this autumn season of my life,* I’m finding it necessary to let go of many things, from long-held beliefs to long-admired people. No doubt you, too, have found this to be a struggle. Sometimes you just have to let go of the metaphorical rope and see where you end up.

I have been there, and have the T-shirt.

This can work literally, as well. Today when we got back to the ranch, the weather was a little better than when we left town. I felt empowered to ride Apache in the afternoon rather than my usual morning rides on days when it’s over 105°.

I even groomed him completely rather than a quick removal of saddle-area dirt. That’s good, because all the horses appear to have rolled in the dirt after our .004” of rain yesterday. He was orange. Then I saddled up and headed out for a wee ride. I didn’t plan to trot much, since our ground is so hard.

They are resting up, I guess, having escaped after we left. Drew is STILL rolling.

After warming up (our muscles—at 95° we were already warm) I swung into the saddle, only to realize I’d forgotten his bridle. Fine. I “let go of the reins” and we rode around doing circles, figure eights, side passes (sorta), and backing in the round pen. Then we went outside and walked around the pen in both directions, finally heading back to the tack room, where the bridle was waiting.

I ended the ride on the high note of riding with no reins. We were both pleased with ourselves, I think.

Let’s pause to enjoy May-July on the temperature blanket.

If only letting go in other areas could be as easy…wait, that wasn’t easy! We’ve worked years to get here and needed lots of help. Aha! That applies to all areas of life!

And just like how I didn’t know how well the ride would go until I tried, I’m going to have to keep trying to let go of the reins and let go of patterns and people who are holding me back from the peaceful and productive life I want to enjoy from now on.

I hope my roots are as sturdy as this oak’s

I’ll keep practicing and rely on wise mentors as I get better at surrounding myself with strength and love while letting go of anything that makes me anxious, sad, or powerless.

* In my optimistic view, spring is birth to 30 years, summer 31-60, autumn 61-90, and winter begins at 90. Why not?

Water! Maybe

It was a good Sunday of camping at McKinney Falls State Park, near Austin, Texas. The motorhome kept us at no more than 81° when it was 109° outside, so we’re proud of it. I did indeed get up early to hike, and I enjoyed it a lot. I had plenty of Gatorade and some snacks, so I didn’t get stressed at all.

There’s a new trail at this park, so of course I took it. It was so peaceful. I did get to see a young skunk (too fast to photograph) and a cute little woodpecker.

I wish I hadn’t turned the wrong way at the end of the new trail and headed back to where I started, but I ended up seeing lots of beauty anyway.

I just kept going when I got back to our campsite and hiked over to the lower falls. I’ve always loved that place. On my way I passed the extra pleasant picnic spots. Many are very secluded and shady. I’ll have to eat there sometime.

The waterfalls on Onion Creek are a Texas treasure, and they’re different every time you visit. This year there was just a trickle going into the swimming hole.

I’ve seen these falls even drier than this, in 2011, and also flowing like crazy in rainy times. When this creek floods, it FLOODS.

Views of Onion Creek between the upper and lower falls.

I like it when you can walk around the limestone formations and see little pools full of fish and marvel at the power of water. Some of this area looks like a moonscape or another planet.

I was relieved to see some actual flowers blooming and fruiting as well as actual insects. I feel hope that things will turn around soon.

And that turnaround may happen sooner rather than later. A front May have brought the ranch some rain this evening, and down here genuine clouds appeared and it was pleasant enough to sit outside at our campsite. It felt like normal camping!

I’m looking forward to getting home and being able to work more with Drew and Apache without overheating each other. But this time in nature, even with heat, is so healing and calming. I’m glad Lee and I decided to trace before we become unable to do so.

Sure, There’s Life in These Woods

While I’m pretty sure I’ll go somewhere greener to camp next August, I’ve been trying to find the positive aspects of visiting McKinney Falls in a drought with a heat dome on top of it.

I assure you, it’s hot. Good thing water drips off this RV!

For one thing, it’s very quiet. I only saw one campsite playing loud music on my early walk (and they are serious—they have an outdoor lighted disco ball). I’ve only seen three people walking dogs, and only two groups have f children, all moving slowly. I assume they all went to the swimming area.

I just walked around all the campsites this morning, to determine where to park next time we come, in the spring! Some are very large and shady. I took pictures.

I also looked to see how the plants were doing. I found a couple of areas that must be near the creeks, because they looked better. Mostly all understory plants are shriveled up.

What a surprise it was to see a rain lily! It did rain 5 minutes on Thursday here!

Trees look better, except the cedar elms and hackberry trees. They are dumping leaves to conserve their internal water supply, as I learned in a Master Naturalist class.

Look at the cool texture on this large persimmon tree’s bark.

There were a lot of birds this morning, which cheered me up. This afternoon, though, even the incessant cardinal chatter has died down. I heard typical birds for this area, though I was surprised to find a summer tanager still hanging around. Otherwise here’s what was around (including seen and heard): blue-gray gnatcatcher, blue Jay, cardinal, Carolina chickadee, Carolin wren, crow, dickcissel, goldfinch, house finch, Phoebe, red-winged blackbird, titmouse, turkey vulture, warbling vireo, and the white-eyed vireo. Not bad for summer.

Carolina wren, the only bird I photographed

The best part of today was that my friend Susan, who lives near San Antonio, came up yesterday to camp with us. She was trying out her very cute little Casita camper before taking it on a longer trip. I don’t think I’d seen her since 2016, though we’ve Zoomed since then.

She had enough RV adventures for more than one trip, but got through it! First, the water line broke at her campsite, quite spectacularly. It took a lot of effort, Shop vacs, and extension cords to get things shut off. The park police officer said he missed the day they taught water line maintenance in his training. The park ranger said she missed hers, too. I felt bad for them. It was so hot.

Because they had to turn her water off, Susan just stayed one night. We did get to enjoy a nice chat this morning about horses and mental health, etc.

Sadly, on her way home, the hitch fell off! Luckily the chains held and she safely got off the highway. After getting some help, she made it home and should have time to get repairs done before her next trip. Whew!

She will drive like this guy, just in case. Ha ha.

We relaxed in the heat of the day. I may try to walk a little around sunset. I’ll get up early again to do the hike and bike trail in the morning. I will take water!

I was very excited to find this feather. I pretty quickly realized it’s from a parrot, probably a park visitor. No native bird has giant blue and yellow feathers!

Oh! And good health news! I am feeling less throat pain, so I may be back to happy thyroid time. Yay!

My nail polish is dazzling and unnatural, too.

Hope you enjoy the pictures!

I Was Wrong (about summer camping in Texas)

I thought if I skipped July and didn’t camp until late August, it might be pretty. Well, I’m in one of the prettiest places I’ve ever been (in other years and other seasons), and it’s depressingly hot, crunchy, and dead.

The good news is that there are empty sites, and it’s pretty quiet with hardly anyone outside.

The bad news is all the trees are super stressed, all the small plants are dried up and not blooming, I haven’t seen any butterflies or other insects, and I’ve heard two birds.

This cedar elm looks better than many, which are all brown.

Plus the bedroom won’t slide out for some reason, so I don’t get to try out the office setup I’d planned, which involves an Indian tall ottoman and a “chair pillow.” Hoping we figure it out and can try again next time. I can sleep just fine (especially since I took painkillers for my throat).

I’ll have more blistering hot camping tales tomorrow. I’ll get up early to walk a little.

At least the air conditioning is working!