That’s about all I can say. I did many things to distract me from how sad Goldie is looking. I just want to get her to the oncologist tomorrow to see if there’s any hope for giving her a pain free life.
Thank goodness for goofy comedies. I watched the first episode of High Potential and then three episodes of Elsbeth. They were similar premises but both very funny. It helped. TV is good for something, sometimes.
It’s fun waiting to see what interesting challenges pop up every day to give me practice in non overreacting and finding the humor in scary situations. Spoiler: I did fine.
To start the day, the suddenly announced work meeting I was concerned about turned out to be exactly what I thought it would be. My team has quickly pivoted to embrace the possibilities of being in a different group with a different leader. So that scary issue ended up not being entirely scary, though more organizational change is coming. Good thing we’re now in change management.
I’m glad I had lots of work challenges today, since it took my mind off Goldie. The other dogs are being very good to her and Harvey both.
The big scary event occurred this evening. I’m glad it ended up okay. Another spoiler I guess. Anyway, I was reading a magazine and heard Lee in the kitchen grumbling about ice. You see, our fancy refrigerator has an ice maker that dumps into a tub that slides out for you to get the ice from it. It doesn’t have an in-door dispenser. That’s one less thing to break, but sometimes if ice builds up in the back, cubes can fall behind the freezer drawer, making it not close all the way.
Usually I get the ice out, since I have small hands and am relatively flexible. But this time, Lee got annoyed, and went after the ice himself. Our guess is that he leaned hard on the drawer to balance himself. That caused the entire very large fridge to fall forward. Yes, apparently when it was installed they didn’t anchor it. Why just today I discussed contractor shortcuts at both lunches (indeed, I was at two different Mexican restaurants today).
Where was I? Oh yes, refrigerator trying to squish husband. When we heard glass shattering, both the nephew and I ran into the kitchen. I picked up giant shards of glass, so dogs wouldn’t try to eat it, since two types of broth spilled. The nephew tried to stop things from falling at first, then gave up and just shoved the thing upright so Lee wouldn’t be pinned under it.
Lee popped his shoulder out, but it popped back in, got hit on the head with food items, and has a small cut. That could have been worse.
The cleanup was icky, but we did it, and all the dogs stayed away until all glass was removed and the floor mopped. It was family teamwork at its best, and sure got the adrenaline flowing. I’m very glad I wasn’t the only one in the house with Lee tonight!
The positive outcome to all this was that I had to take all the mess out to the dumpster right as the lovely harvest moon was rising like a big old pumpkin. I’d missed the partial eclipse last night, but the moon was just fine tonight. I got to do some healthy deep breathing while I watched it, too.
Onward to the next scary thing. I can take it!
It’s just so hard to think about my two sick dogs. You know when you get one that you’ll probably outlive them, but it’s not easy to watch them suffer. Our animal companions really fill our hearts.
So mine is hurting for Harvey, like I said yesterday. He’s a little worse each day. I don’t even know what to do.
Goldie is also doing worse, so we went and got X-rays for her in College Station. She was very good in the car, but I think getting in and out wasn’t good for her leg. She’s limping way more. But we had to get her there somehow.
The veterinarian and staff were very nice, too. They were kind to Goldie when getting her X-rays and gave me lots of scary reading material on osteosarcoma in giant dogs. It makes me wonder why anyone breeds giant dogs, knowing how often this happens. Well, we didn’t breed her.
The good news is the tumor isn’t all in the bone, just around it. And her lungs weren’t full of upset lymph nodes. Maybe we can help her?
So we have yet another expensive trip to an even more distant specialty practice on Friday. Not we, just me, because Lee will not get up early to go to a 9 am appointment. Wow, it’s a good thing he works for himself. Sometimes you have to do things on someone else’s schedule.
I’m just upset so forgive my grumpy talk. This final visit will help me come up with a plan, as I should be able to talk to both an oncologist and surgeon. I hope I make good decisions that the rest of the family will be comfortable with.
I did find a couple of things to enjoy outdoors, watched lots of birds, and laughed at some episodes of Only Murders in the Building. I’m so glad we have streaming now, though I’m perturbed that no one has come to fix our satellite dish.
Least of my worries. Tomorrow there’s a mysterious new boss meeting, too. I guess we will know what team we will get stuck under in the reorganization aftermath. Or…
I admit it. I’m spending some time feeling sad about how my dogs are feeling. Goldie is limping more, and Harvey has gone downhill since he couldn’t get downstairs yesterday. He seems confused about why his legs aren’t acting correctly right now. We are, too.
We still don’t know if the lump on his leg, a back injury, a stroke, or his liver issues that are causing his problems, but we are medicating him as hard as we can.
Goldie’s lump is bothering her more, so her meds haven’t done much. Tomorrow we are taking her to a facility in College Station to get X-rays and scans to see what they find. I hope that will help us figure out how to proceed. I’m thankful Tarrin is advising us, since she knows many veterinarians, and is dealing with her own dog challenges.
It was darn good to have some positive work things to balance this out with. I solved a thorny problem in a project that made me feel smart. Then a package arrived that contained my gift from my employer for being a good contractor last quarter. They wrapped it all fancy and festively, and I appreciated it. Being acknowledged for hard work is rare in contract work, so I’m not all cynical like I might be if it was more common. This was a real highlight.
Other than that, I just did my best to enjoy my animal buddies and breathe. They always make my daily highlight reel.
You can’t help but smile when you have hummingbirds and calves to look at and every flycatcher in the area to listen to. Hooray for fewer flies!
Having a balance in life can help you get through challenges. I know so many of you readers are also facing challenges. This time of year seems to bring illnesses, loss of loved ones (humans and animals), and financial woes. Noticing beauty, kindness, and generosity can go a long way toward negotiating change and challenge and bring highlights to a low time.
Today I got a bee in my bonnet to arrange my list of birds seen in Milam County, Texas phylogenetically. That’s how my friend Ann says most birders want to see their bird lists. Here’s the official list, which is all formal and in Latin.
I’m not making it that complex. I’m using David Sibley’s English interpretation, which is how most of the checklists I’ve seen for state parks are organized. There are lots of variations, as I discovered when I looked all all Ann’s examples.
I just wanted to satisfy my curiosity about how many birds of each order we have. Once I got started, I just couldn’t stop arranging. I kept going until all the birds were arranged. I’m embarrassed to say I spent at least four hours formatting, cutting, pasting and labeling.
I sure got fixated on my list! I’ll share it when we are finished.
All that concentration meant that I was a bit late getting to the horses, so I got rained on. Yes! Rain! At least it cooled down a bit. I’m not enjoying the fact that our two moderate weather weeks are over.
I did find a couple of interesting plants today. I was particularly happy to find gomphrena weed on the roadside, because I didn’t know it grew here. I’d seen it before while camping. And I just thought the goldenrod was graceful.
It’s always rewarding to find something new. Living in the moment! Even when hyper focused.
I pretty much spent my whole day engaged in bird activities. There was a horse hour or two and a trip to buy dog food, but the rest of the day was for the birds. I do enjoy them, probably because I don’t understand them too well.
This morning I headed out early (for me on a Saturday) and went to the Wild Wings Bird Sanctuary we are working on. Ann and Phyllis joined me as I did my monthly bird count.
We had lots of eyes, ears, and binoculars, which made finding 25 birds not all that hard. Most of the hummingbird feeders were covered in bees, which annoyed the plentiful Ruby-throated hummingbirds.
We practiced our Forest Walking, but didn’t immerse ourselves in it, because we were busy identifying birds and plants. The wooded area was lots of fun, but I got into something itchy.
When we were getting ready to leave, Cindy and Gene Rek brought a big box over to me. It contained two black Cochin hens. These are the big fluffy kind with pretty feathered feet. What a lovely gift!
I hope they end up liking the new housing situation. Cindy and Cathy (the hens, not people) got a bit stressed out by their day and got pretty pale and hot. They have lots of water and food now, and Lee made them new stairs to climb to get into the coop. I hope they figure it out.
Getting them settled was hard because one got out when I was unboxing them. She went under the RV and would not leave even when Lee squirted her with water. I’m thinking that actually felt good. I got her out with my official chicken net that is really a fishing net.
As if that wasn’t enough bird action, I then spent the evening blogging about the morning and making a list of all birds that have been seen in Milam County on iNaturalist and eBird. Ann wants to have a checklist people can use. I’ll be working on that for a while, but it feels good to contribute!
Birding activity was a good way to take my mind off dogs and such.
This I know: if I send calm thoughts out, breathe deeply, and center myself, life’s a lot easier. It’s certainly made life with the animals better. All that nature walking really has helped!
Today I spent a lot of time with the horses. We tend to end up in a feedback loop of good vibes these days. Watching them interacting gently calms me down and me being calm makes them easy to work with. I’m very glad the period of stress and pain for us all is becoming a dim memory.
I enjoy watching them showing signs of affection. It’s mostly Drew, Mabel, and Dusty, though.
Apache seems to take his leadership role very seriously. At least he’s friendly with me. My daily hugs and exercise are good for us both. We’ve worked hard to get in synch and I can tell he’s in better spirits now.
I’ve tried giving him his medicine in gel caps. It takes away the smell, but then he goes and chomps on the capsule and tastes the pill. We will figure something out. Maybe I should stick them in bananas.
I finally got to where I could make myself clean out the chicken coop and run. The chicken killings were hard on me. But today I murdered all the cocklebur and birdseed plants that had grown up in the main section. That was a very unpleasant task, especially since it’s gotten hot again suddenly.
I also cleaned the evidence of poultry genocide in the coop building. I wore a mask, so I didn’t get sick like last time, and I used my horse poop shovel to clean the floor. It was really tricky maneuvering the bulky shovel but I managed.
There is a chance new chickens will magically appear tomorrow. I will insist on keeping them penned up. I’m not sure if Bianca will join them now that she thinks she’s a horse. Even she has calm vibes now, and she used to be a jumpy hen.
No dog news. They all seem stable. That’s better than it could be, so we will keep enjoying them.
I read a lot. Apparently what I read sinks into my being and comes out unbidden, making me think I have original ideas. Or maybe I repeat other people’s ideas unbidden.
Anyway, I laughed at myself a lot this evening at our Master Naturalist meeting. The speaker was a very nice woman with whom I can tell I have much in common. The second she saw me she complimented my shoes, for example (I do highly recommend Converse high tops with the comfort insole—mmm comfy).
Anyway, the speaker is an accredited leader in shinrin-ryoku or forest bathing, which is a formalized way of doing what I do every dang day. I’ve read about it a lot since it was developed in Japan and love the fact that they’ve done research that shows the positive effects of hanging out in nature with intent. You know, what makes intuitive sense to folks like me. But now there’s science!
What tickled me was that as she talked, every time she was at a loss for words or needed help with a concept, I just blurted out helpful information. Wow, is all that information easily accessible in my brain. I was either quite helpful or annoying. But, the information she provided was in essence a more formalized distillation of what I yammer on and on about in this blog and on Facebook every day. So I knew her talk, just not her reference material. I just stood/sat there smiling to myself through the whole thing.
I just kept laughing at myself whenever she suggested a practice, like sitting for 20 minutes or so in one place every day and just absorbing your surroundings. Yup. I do that in what Lee calls my Birding Chair. Before the chair, I just stood up, in any weather, except rain. Little did I know, that chair is my Sit Spot and there’s a whole book on it. I should have asked my friend Ann, who also does all this stuff but DID read the books.
I feel quite au courant with all my woodland wanderings and spot sitting. However, my urge to identify things as a naturalist means many of my walks aren’t forest bathing at all. But that’s okay with me. The Shinto/Zen side of me can coexist with my inner taxonomist. It all keeps me centered and happier.
If I were into more structured events, I’d consider taking the training to be one of the guides in this discipline. It must be very rewarding to see people experience nature washing over them for the first time. It can be so healing, and we all need that!
There was a funny/punny song from the movie Walk Hard called Let’s Duet that made it sound like the singers wanted to “do it,” and it always made me laugh. Today’s duets might have been about hooking up, too, for all I know.
Basically, large birds of prey had things to tell each other today.
First, when I went on my morning walk, there was a Red-Shouldered Hawk making a lot of racket. As I walked down the road, it became obvious there were at least two hawks. It’s interesting to me that once they start duetting, you can tell the difference between birds. I couldn’t figure out the topic of their communication, but it did keep the other birds quiet. I didn’t hear a House Sparrow until late afternoon!
I came back to work after enjoying four different woodpeckers, including a booming Pileated hard at work on some poor tree. I enjoyed watching it go up and down as it pecked.
After a pleasant lunch with my rather giddy friends who’d all watched the same televised event last night, there was more work (including a chat with a guy in Scotland whose daughter loves horses).
I decided I feel better, so while the horses were eating, I chopped down more evil cocklebur plants. I’ve discovered that the plants eat my arms and make little cuts and peeling skin. But I did it anyway. I love watching them shrivel up. Apache and Fiona toss the stems around.
Drew, on the other hand, now asks me to spray the water hose near him so he can drink it. His lips get all flappy and I can’t stop laughing. Too bad I can’t get a photo, because my hands are full. He really can be funny.
By the time I was finished lopping, I realized it had gotten hot outside and I’m actually not completely better. I have to go a bit more slowly still.
To recover from the bur attacking, I sat by the pool to watch the birds, only there weren’t many. All the cute little Cave Swallows must have been flocking the last few days, because they are gone. Boom. Safe travels, Swallows!
The other birds were lying low because of the next duet, which was between Great Horned Owls. I usually hear a few hoots, but tonight it was just like the hawks earlier, a long and complicated interaction. Again, you could distinguish the two birds. It was just beautiful. It made me feel all autumnal, even if it got again.
Have a good night or day!
If anyone reading this isn’t struggling in some way, I’m glad for you, but a bit surprised. These seem to be hard times for most folks I know. And it doesn’t look like things are getting any easier. I vote that we all do the right thing and support each other. Let’s cut each other some slack. Some of us could really use kindness and empathy right now.
We got more sad dog news today and are trying to figure out what to do about Goldie’s bone cancer. I needed support and to just talk about it. Thank goodness I have a friend who I can talk to, who’s going through similar canine concerns.
The horse trailer is back, and I was glad to go to lessons again. Yes, I wanted to learn horse stuff, but I also wanted to talk to Tarrin and engage in mutual support about our dogs and other family issues. Talking really helped me think things through, and I hope I was a good listener for her. And of course I loved on her sick dog.
The lessons were good, too. Apache amazes me. He is doing so well and keeps making progress even with time off. He improved on the dreaded side pass (hooray) and was very patient when I worked on posting at the trot. He’s become a real treasure. We have both calmed down so we can learn.
Drew is doing much better with me, too, though he had some challenges today. That lovely filly of Tarrin’s gets him all rattled. At least this time, Tarrin was on him. But he settled down after ground work and was fine afterwards. He just has to grow out of losing focus on his human leaders. it ain’t easy.
The horse lessons are so helpful to me, as is the support I get from Tarrin. We have so much in common yet challenge each other. That is what we need right now, to see past our superficial differences to our common humanity.
Find yourself someone to support or to be supportive to. It’s a great counterweight to the struggles and challenges we are going through as humans.
The Hermits' Rest 