The Hermits' Rest

Looking for Beauty and Kindness

I declared that today would be spent looking for beauty and kindness wherever I went. That started out early, since we wanted to leave for a camping weekend (at last) as early as possible.

I hit the ground running, trying to get to Tractor Supply right after they opened. Ha. The traffic gods had other plans and I got to wait a lot, which was okay—more time listening to NPR. And I did encounter kindness when the sweet worker who checked me out also loaded all my 50-pound horse and chicken food bags and the deceptively heavy salt. She said she was stronger than most of the men there.

There was much running around, sweating, and chore performance before we could leave, and Lee hurt his back hitching the Jeep to the motorhome. Yet, we survived and drove northeast for a long time, during which Lee was kind to a trucker who needed the lane we were in at a run-down gas station. The guy had a cool big rig—he was taking it to a truck show!

We managed to make it to Lake Bob Sandlin State Park before the office closed, which felt miraculous considering the amount of slow-moving vehicles and construction delays we hit. You know a car is slow if we pass it!

We changed to a more level site, so we lost our lake view, but the piney woods are also lovely, and there are plenty of birds to enjoy.

Helping Lee because his back hurt made me end up sore from crawling in the ground and floor, but that’s what good spouses do for each other!

I found lots more beauty as I walked around the camping area after we were set up. There’s even a lot of beautyberry here, which speeds up one’s search for beauty!

I did find the lake and many woodland plants, so I believe I did what I set out to.

By focusing on good stuff, small annoyances like the bedroom slide and the leveling system not working seem insignificant. I’m just gonna go look at plants and listen to birds tomorrow. Yes.

Drama Averted

Let’s talk about how great I am. No, that’s boring. Let’s talk about how my confidence has improved in my horsemanship. (Because there’s still some progress to be made in other areas.)

One horse accomplishment that brings joy is that the younger horses have gotten much better at coming to the pens when I call them. (Dusty sees me at a distance and ambles over to “his spot” long before anyone else arrives—slow but steady wins the race.) The photo above shows them doing their “thundering herd” imitation right after I first called them. Aww.

This is from last week but sums up today.

We’re finally going camping again tomorrow, so I wanted to be sure to get one last riding session on Apache today. He wasn’t particularly “into” working, but he did his exercises and happily walked on the trail. It felt good.

That is, until I took him down to the creepy arroyo area. I’m glad I was paying attention, because I saw the water moccasin before he did. It was just sitting there, not doing anything. So I just asked Apache to halt and then turn around. We walked safely to a higher part of the field.

I’m proud of myself for not having any stronger reaction than “better turn around.” No drama from us! I’m guessing Apache eventually realized something was amiss because he started tossing his head and then tried to eat every bunch of silver bluestem he could find. Who knows? I’m only sort of good at figuring out what he’s trying to communicate after over a decade.

It’s gotten very dry, since recently the rains are missing us. So the horses would probably all stop to eat lovely green grass like the bluestem (a native). I was relieved to hear that we will be getting some nice hay shortly. No hay drama, either!

How Can You Cope in Today’s Troubled Times?

There are some practices and “mind tricks“ I use to stay on a level key while the world of people, politics, and ethics changes to something almost unrecognizable. Note that I am not describing how to remain calm (I no longer know what that means or if anyone is “sane“ anymore). But rather I want to share what I do to keep myself productive, centered, and able to find joy/good/happiness.

I wrote this all out by hand. I needed to write.

Spend as much time outdoors as possible, doing chores, getting exercise, relaxing—it all counts.

You might see spring flowers in September!

Meditate. I count some of my bird observation is this – deep focus on breathing sound, etc. turning off the internal chatter (when I dictated the text, this came out as “cheddar”) that adds to anxiety.

Stay in the moment. Be aware of your surroundings. Pay attention to people and things around you. This lets you see moments of peace and beauty amid broader chaos.

Limit exposure to negativity. Stop listening to provocative sources of information remove controversial people from your life as much as possible – if you must be around someone (coworker, family, or service provider) set boundaries and only interact on neutral topics so you can just walk away physically or mentally.

Assume good intentions. Remind yourself that people who upset you mostly aren’t doing so to bother you —often they think they are doing good —so treat them kindly, assuming they are well intentioned from their perspective, and let them share their thoughts, but let unintentionally hurtful things flow over you —you can be kind and not let the harmful stuff inside you.

Treat people kindly. Doing something nice for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do makes you feel better and invites good to come back to you.

Be grateful. Take the kindness of others in and be grateful for it. Expressed your gratitude, because a lot of people really seem to crave the positive affirmation, and it doesn’t hurt to help them out.

Give yourself permission to relax and retreat. Read a book watch a funny or engaging television show or video. Do this in moderation. Hiding in Facebook or on TikTok can be a problem.

Remind yourself of connections. However you are connected to other people, groups and cultures, treasure your own connections to your groups and enjoy them—just not to the exclusion of others. We are ALL family. (OK I’m preaching here.)

—All X people are evil/my enemy. No, the ideas they are being fed are the issue, not the people. Be angry at the source, which most likely is corporate interests (says Suna and Robert Reich).

—I can’t do anything about X. No, by keeping yourself strong and focused on positive and constructive ideas and practices you are doing something.

—Person X drives me batty. Guess what? You choose your reaction to person X. Change it.

Laugh. Find people places or media that make you laugh or laugh at yourself kindly.

Enjoy animals. Domesticated or wild, they share our earth and are good enough to share their calm or funniness. Horses and dogs help me.

Recognize your limitations. We can’t do everything or fix every problem. Choose your battles and let go of minor issue. Discern what is within your capacity to change and do those things.

Hint: you can’t change other people‘s personalities and entrenched beliefs. You can change your reaction. This is a big lesson.

Love yourself. Remind yourself that you are lovable just as you are. Your mistakes and flaws do not define you or make you less deserving of love. It’s great to be loved and to accept love coming your way, but you aren’t defined by whether or not someone loves you. Everyone else is lovable too, just maybe not by you, sometimes

Your spiritual guides (God, spirit, goddess Buddha) love you just the way you are, too. If yours places conditions on its love consider another alternative.

Don’t hate people. If you want something to abhor there are plenty of other options. I abhor war, gun, violence, intolerance, corporate, greed, dysfunctional government, unethical propaganda, and institutions set up to divide people rather than unite them. I don’t hate people. Something made them the way they are, even egomaniacs and psychopaths. Hatred does not make anything better.

Forgive. Let go of resentment towards bullies mean people, hurtful individuals, etc. Letting resentment fester does not lead to peace. People screw up. Forgive them like you’d like to be when you screw up. You can’t fix some folks, but you can forgive them and move on.

Take care who you trust. Confirmation bias is real. Don’t just trust people who agree with you automatically. Instead, trust people with no vested interest in manipulating you or your emotions or in encouraging divisive thinking. This is hard, I know.

Surround yourself with things that make you happy (spark Joy ha ha ha). This will be different for each of us. I have lots of objects that help me: crystals, figurines of birds and horses, live flowers when possible, a cheerful coffee mug, a journal covered with stickers, colored pins, books art made by me or my family, and so much more. Other people might need minimal distractions to feel happy some need clean surroundings things that smell, good etc. You do you and don’t let others’ opinions of your surroundings bother you. They can do their own stuff. (Now, shared spaces require compromise, of course. There can be no fun scents in a house that contains my spouse.)

Move around. When you’re feeling overwhelmed or sad or afraid you can want to just stay in bed or your chair and curl up. But try to remind yourself that moving around/exercise is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Even marching around your house or dancing to music helps. I like to take walks so I can observe beauty around me and experience the world with all my senses. Riding my horse is also very helpful, because I need to focus on what I’m doing rather than other issues.

Do some crafts. Making things helps you focus on something you enjoy, and creating items for others is an act of kindness thate brings positivity into your life.

July and August of my temperature blanket project.

Read inspirational or beautiful material. I love my nature books, and my magazines about horses, art, home improvement, and spirituality. Just be sure to find uplifting and interesting content. I have to limit my political and historical reading.

And finally, remember what the scripture below tells us.

Tee hee. I, too, can cherry pick Bible verses that support my point.

So…what other ideas do you have to share with others as we try to get through this time together?

Book Report: Coming Up Short

Full disclosure: Robert Reich is the American I admire most. So it’s no surprise that I hoped to enjoy his new memoir, Coming Up Short: A Memoir of My America (2025).

Wow, this is an insightful book, both from a historical and philosophical standpoint. I think that, at last, I have a grasp on what was going on in the United States during my lifetime. I think I only had a superficial understanding of who won elections and who promoted wars, improved lives, made rich people richer, etc.

Robert Reich has known so many important political and intellectual figures in his lifetime, from all parties and perspectives. His first-hand accounts of historically significant events clarify my understanding of turbulent times and remind me that ours isn’t the only time of upheaval in the US. He freely admits where he made errors, too, which makes him much more credible than someone who’d claim to have never made mistakes.

I found his detailed analysis of how we got where we are today fascinating. I can see the current US leader’s appeal to disenfranchised citizens and how those folks have been distracted from their actual enemies, which are corporate interests out only for their own profit. I think we educated elites are also being distracted into thinking the enemy is Christian nationalism rather than corporate greed. Yikes.

Reich is someone whose thoughts and commentary I read daily, even though I get pretty alarmed sometimes. He does also try to point out where people are doing good work, speaking out, and standing up to bullies. It’s good to have a little hope. In that spirit, I give you this passage on patriotism from Coming Up Short:

“White male Christian nationalism has nothing to do with patriotism. True patriots don’t fuel racist, religious, or ethnic divisions.

“Patriots aren’t homophobic or sexist, nor are they blind to social injustices, whether ongoing or embedded in American history. They don’t ban books or prevent teaching about the sins of the nation’s past. They don’t censor truths that may make people uncomfortable, facts that are inconvenient, realities that people would rather not face.

“True patriots are not uncritically devoted to America. They are devoted instead to the ideals of America- the rule of law, equal justice, voting rights and civil rights, freedom of speech and assembly, freedom from fear, and democracy. True patriots don’t have to express patriotism in symbolic displays of loyalty like standing for the national anthem and waving the American flag. They express patriotism in taking a fair share of the burdens of keeping the nation going, sacrificing for the common good. This means paying their fair share of taxes rather than lobbying for lower taxes or seeking tax loopholes or squirreling away money abroad. It means refraining from making large political contributions that corrupt American democracy. It means blowing the whistle on abuses of power even at the risk of losing one’s job. It means volunteering time and energy to improving one’s community and country.”

P. 317

In summary, this is an important book for anyone who still cares about truth and ethical behavior. It’s also full of enjoyable anecdotes from a brilliant yet humble man. He will go down as a great American.

Yes, More Niceness, Bird Edition

I tried to write a post with some substance, but I’ve had a headache for two days and I couldn’t concentrate. So I’ll tell you what I enjoy lately.

Bluebird – it’s blurry, so obviously by me.

Yes, I’ve really been enjoying Eastern Bluebirds this week. In the evening they gather to swoop around and eat insects, pose on the fence, or soar while singing their beautiful song. I may have mentioned this before, but this is the first place I ever lived where there are bluebirds. Every time I see or hear one, it’s a little thrilling, even though I probably saw a dozen today.

I love how their wings flash in flight. This and the rest of the images are from Pexels.

The Red-shouldered Hawks are the most visible raptors right now. In my walk this morning I heard at least four engaged in the daily Crow battle. It even drowned out Carolina Wrens. This evening, just as I headed inside, a large Red-shouldered (probably female) flew over me so low that I could distinguish her feathers. It probably was looking for tasty bluebirds. Boo hoo.

Another bird that’s excited me this year is the Baltimore Oriole. I didn’t know we had them until last year. I’ve now seen a couple, along with Orchard Orioles. But today I heard one sing for the first time, not just chirp. Holy Cow, it was magnificent. I had no idea.

And if you ever get the chance to hear a recording of a Lark Sparrow song, do so. They come by their names honestly. It’s sorta like a clownish version of a lark. They also can belt it out.

Isn’t that nice? A whole written blog about sounds I enjoy. If you have Merlin Bird ID, though, you can play recordings, though. So go do that. I’ll read a book about beavers.

Cheerful Moments

Ok! Cute things here we come! This morning I found where all the false foxgloves were hiding this year? And they were right next to a hawthorn tree with lots of fruit.

No matter how well I think I know the woods at the ranch, I keep finding new things. I ventured around to see what else I could find. There were many spiders!

After all that nature stuff it was time for our horse lessons. Both horses did their best. So did I, with much practice at riding with the reins in one hand and cantering. I have stopped gripping the saddle horn with a death grip. Progress.

You did good. So did you. Mmm, Apache, that diaper cream on your nose smells great.

Vicki and Drew definitely had their best lesson so far. Drew showed some of his good side, even with the precious foals racing around and distracting him.

The best thing was that Droodles walked around the round pen with very little drama. It shows he’s gaining confidence in Vicki! I’m very proud of their progress.

After I got home we had a lovely green chile stew made by my friend Martha. She, Mike, Lee and I had a wonderful conversation on the porch as the sun set.

Nothing but goodness.

Mom, I Miss Her

Today my mom would have been 103, so unlike many of my friends, I never expected her to be around for me at my age. But since she has been gone for 40 years, I’ve missed her longer than I had her. I don’t dwell on this much, but something that happened to be last week brought my lack of mothering to mind.

One of the many cruel declarations against us horrible liberals asserted that we were mentally ill for supporting our LGBTQIA family and friends. It made me feel so alone and hopeless to realize this. My brain reverted to childhood, tears came to my eyes, and from deep in my past, the cry of “I want my mom” came up. I just wanted a hug from someone who unconditionally loved me.

I can still smell the Chanel No. 5 and smoke on mom as she wrapped her skinny tanned arms around me as I cried after being bullied or taunted.

It was hard being a chubby, sensitive child. It’s hard being her sensitive adult self.

I am saddened that the way people treat each other today can send me back to such raw emotional needs. Yikes. And I know I’m not alone. We all need to have a safe place, a virtual place of comfort like when you’re in your mother or father’s arms.

Mature-ish Suna must find that in herself. Ugh. (Yes, I have a fine spouse and friends, but they aren’t Mom.)

I tend to write about how Mom’s mental health issues made things difficult for me, but I assure you, she had many fine qualities, one of which was loving her children as best as she could.

She was also funny, an amazing artist and crafter, a great dancer, a gardener with a solid green thumb, a creative and resourceful cook, a fine whistler, and really good with makeup and nail polish. I remember all these traits, too.

I do miss my mom. I think she’s giving me strength via her memories. I need it.

Book Report: How the Hell Did I Not Know That?

I needed some light and humorous reading this week, so I picked up this book to read before bedtime rather than the depressing memoir I’m reading at other times of the day. How the Hell Did I Not Know That: My midlife year from couch to curiosity, by Lucie Frost, certainly provided me with laughs and gave me other things to think about than cults of personality and so on.

One of my friends from when my kids were younger recommended the book, and I believe most everything this friend says, so I bought it. Lucie Frost lives in San Antonio and is an actual Native Texan (who lived in Mexico for some time as a child, so also speaks Spanish). She is also sort of foul-mouthed in an endearing way, so if you don’t like curse words in your books, skip this one.

The idea here is that Frost retired early, in her 50s, then didn’t know what to do with herself. She came up with the idea of trying to learn new things to get herself to stop bingeing on reality television and wine. Spoiler: she got better.

The fun of the book is going along with Frost’s journey of knowledge, in which she freely admits to being ignorant about things many people know about, but also bravely provides a peek at how her mind functions in coming up with questions to ask. She has a pretty funny mind. My favorite of her discoveries is what the balls for different ball sports were made of when the sports were invented. Hint: animals.

While this may not be the most well-written book on earth, it’s quite entertaining and worth spending some pre-snooze time on. Since she and I have much in common spiritually and philosophically, I probably got more out of the book than some folks I know. But if you’re “a person like Suna,” you can get a good chuckle or two from Frost’s stories, and you’ll heartily agree with her conclusions that by keeping your senses open to new things and living in the world with a curious mindset, you’ll feel a lot better.

Example of Vicki’s extremely cute Sheltie puppies. Don’t tell Lee his hair is thinning.

Let me know if this was too controversial and I’ll try harder next time. I’m now limiting Facebook/Instagram posts to cute little animals, except for blog links, which mostly will be cute little animals and book reviews for the near future.

Just Birds

This evening, Scissortail Flycatchers were dive-bombing into the pins and chattering away. They aren’t as graceful as the swallows, but it looks like they accomplished their mission. I never saw so many of these birds at once, nor have I seen them catch insects in the water.

I’m seeing and hearing many unexpected things lately.

Here’s What I Think

As if it matters, other than to me.

I think Americans should stop using their beloved guns to kill other people.

Here she goes again. No one is listening, says the greatest Egret ever.

It’s been made very clear that people love collecting weapons (knives and such, too) that aren’t designed to be helpful tools but rather to end the lives of other people. It makes them feel good. It makes them feel safe. Most of them do not plan to kill anyone else…unless they feel it’s justified.

All these folks murdering children in schools, former coworkers, their domestic partners, people of different religions, ethnic backgrounds, or political beliefs…they all feel justified.

This society has lost the ability to act ethically. Otherwise we’d not think it’s okay to kill under certain circumstances (that you get to define).

Go ahead and use your guns and knives as the tools they were intended to be. I’m not in charge of your reality, mindset, or philosophy. I’m not some liberal snowflake or whatever the latest put-down is. I’m just begging you to actually pay attention to what your religious figures tell you. They tell you to be kind to others. Respect other living beings. Find a moral compass and follow it.

Oh well. People are being told to hate, so they will. At least I can enjoy the demise of civilization with a nice horse. Today there was ZERO drama, and we did the “scary” and hilly part of our paths. And Drew was good for Vicki.

He is telling me to stop dawdling and unsaddle him.

I can’t ignore the outside world but I can treasure the goodness and love that surrounds me.