Fulfilling Work

In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?

I’m not going to answer a prompt every day this month, but at the end of today, I knew the answer to this one.

Hard work that leads to growth is fulfilling to me. Work for work’s sake, well, it’s a chance to practice mindfulness at best. I can mentally go to my happy place while doing drudge work.

Happy place (Hermits’ Rest woods)

The work I’ve been doing the past few years with horses has been hard, really hard. It’s pushed me out of my comfort zone both mentally and physically. Horses are beautiful and smell good, but they are weird and unpredictable (even for people who know them well).

You never know what we’ll do next.

I was just chatting with a fellow student of Tarrin’s tonight, and we were commiserating about our setbacks this summer and how hard it is to regain confidence when you feel like you can’t trust your horse. We both know we will have to work hard on it, but we pointed out how many obstacles we each have overcome so far. That helps, reminders from others!

Woodpeckers work hard in this tree.

As for other kinds of hard work, like actual work and volunteer work, of course it helps if I learn and grow from it. I am fulfilled if my efforts are appreciated or help others. That’s why I like teaching people. You can see that the students have new skills or knowledge that will enrich them. Teaching knitting really exemplifies this. You give someone a lifelong hobby!

Then they can make giant year-long blankets.

My Master Naturalist work is often hard, but wow is it fulfilling to know so much about my surroundings and it’s great to be able to help others ID plants and birds or understand more about the local ecosystem.

For example, I know these rocks, which look like potatoes to me, are what’s in the soil here.

As for today, I took a long walk in the woods, got to enjoy Apache’s previous rider, Kayla, visit with him, and rode Drew around the pasture with only a little need for reassurance. (Backsliding was having trouble bridling after it went well for a few times in a row.)

Old friends and a nice new dog friend.

Enjoy sites from the woods.

My Favorite Trait

What’s the trait you value most about yourself?

Oh, gee. No idea how to answer this. Hmm. It’s a lot easier to think of traits I’d like to improve on.

Ok. I declare my favorite trait about myself is my curiosity. I’m curious about nature, people, ideas. That leads to knowledge, which leads to growth, which makes life a positive experience.

Here’s a very curious-looking insect. it’s the nymph of Trichopepla semivittata, whatever that is. A scientist told me.

I’m sorta glad we had to cancel our camping trip this weekend. I’ve enjoyed working with the horses a lot since it’s no longer unbearably hot just before sunset.

Blue dasher dragonfly that got trapped in the tack room.

I’m taking Apache back to basics, so no riding, just long walks. Yesterday we walked all the way down the road, where he couldn’t see any other horses. He was just fine. He just has trouble being ridden alone. That’s frustrating, but I’m following Tarrin’s plan and we’ll see how it works out.

I’m a nervous horsie.

Drew, on the other hand, is settling down so well. After we had a nice, calm walk at training last week, I decided maybe HE would be the horse I can ride around the property and enjoy. Sure enough, this evening we went all over the field in front of the house with no stress whatsoever. I’m going to try some other places tomorrow. I’m pleased.

Issues with My Cultural Heritage

What aspects of your cultural heritage are you most proud of or interested in?

As a Euro-American white person, I’ve been learning a lot about the negative aspects of my ancestors. There’s a lot to tell, and I’m pleased that it’s not being swept under the rug anymore. But there are things to treasure, things to puzzle over, and things to horrify you no matter where your ancestors originated. That’s because people are talented, complex, and often cruel. Everywhere and throughout history.

So, today I’ve been thinking of my ancestry and what parts I’m proud of.

Oh look, Harvest Moon. slightly bigger than last night.

Most of my ancestors on my paternal line came from England. The Kendall family is very old, but I’m most proud of how the first father and son to come over in the 1600s took their indentured servitude and used it to do very well once they were free. That’s the Early American Dream. Then they fought on the winning side of the War of Independence and headed south. Then they lost the next big war and ended up sharecroppers living right along with former enslaved people. I also like that those folks came here to be able to feed themselves, not to foist weird religious beliefs on others.

I wonder if any of them were fascinated by tiny hover flies?

Now, on my grandmother’s side there were some French Huguenots. They were among the many religious fanatics to come to the US to escape persecution and promote their cause. The other bunch on that side were Scots-Irish. Yep. Getting away from religious stuff. Well, that and famines. They all ended up nice, Appalachians, some who did well and some who didn’t. Typical American white immigrant story.

Maybe some were herbalists and inspired my love for wildflowers.

I do love the folk tales, wisdom, and pre-Christian spiritual traditions of Great Britain and Ireland. They tie me to a much more distant past. And yes, I realize those people could be cruel as well as kind, just like the Romans and all that.

I was fascinated by the sun on flowers this morning.

I’ve written a lot about my mom’s ancestors being brought to Florida from Menorca to be slaves on sugar cane or rice plantations. It’s a fascinating little tale, and I’m really proud of the Canova folks for escaping and hanging out with the Native Americans until they could come back and become prosperous business owners in St. Augustine. Those were some strong Mediterranean people.

Strong as a tie vine!

My maternal grandfather was Swedish. I like that his ancestors stayed together in the same villages for many generations. I’ve never experienced a community with such deep roots. Still, the Andersons finally headed out in the very early 1900s, again because they were hungry. Most of them went to Minnesota, but my grandfather was an adventurous guy. He left there to work on the Panama Canal as a surveyor and ended up in Florida, where I’m sure he seemed quite exotic on his fancy white horse. (Maybe he’s where my horse-loving genes came from.)

A horse and donkey I love.

I guess I’m proud that my ancestors took big risks and got through hardship. No doubt we’re all descendants of the people who survived the risks and danger long enough to reproduce, huh?

Back then, they didn’t even have bad county roads to travel on.

And when you look at what they went through, the persecution, the ignorance, the huge changes, you can get some perspective to use on today’s challenges. Humans have never had it easy, and never has there been a time or culture without suffering and joy. I’m sure you already knew that.

I just like the swoopy lines in this one. Those are starlings, also European immigrants.

In summary, I don’t think my heritage is better or worse than anyone else’s. I’d like to think I’ve learned from some of their mistakes, and can benefit from some of their contributions to the world.

Now let us ponder the shoe on a fence post. It’s always there if someone needs it!

Branded? Not Me

What brands do you associate with?

I’m not a millennial or whatever age group feels the need to associate with a brand or become a brand. It’s just not something I think about. Ever.

I guess, tongue in cheek, I could say I associate myself to Color Street (see, I linked to it). It’s the stuff I use for my silly little fingernails that make me happy. Since I’m constantly being asked how I do the looks, I do tend to evangelize. And I’m probably helping Rebecca the consultant actually make money in an MLM scheme (or as proponents call it, a home business, ha ha).

Ooh, aah. Nails.

Yeah, there are less expensive options that feel a bit rubbery, but I enjoy the fun of buying these and sharing ideas and manicures with others. It’s fairly harmless and supports a US business. I represent Color Street (unofficially) because it’s fun.

That’s what they look like in the package.

The only other “brand” I associate with is the Texas Master Naturalist program. I’m proud to have a TMN license plate and wear my shirts around. It’s a privilege to share what I’ve learned with others, too. This organization does so much for our state parks and research.

It’s fun to be in nature with friends.

I’m just not fond of branding myself and am not inclined to become an influencer and promote things. That seems so fake and vain. Besides, I’m old, which Facebook must not know with all their labeling me as a rising creator. I think creator means person who shares a lot of stuff.

Hey, it’s my brand!

In other news, I was working with Apache and walked him way over by the woods. While he was noshing away on some healthy grass, I spotted a raccoon in the stream!

Yeah, today I wouldn’t have blogged. But I committed to answering the prompt for all of September. Only three more days!

It was nice enough outside to do a Zoom meeting by the pool.

What Could I Do More Of?

What could you do more of?

I could do more home organizing and downsizing.

But since I need to do more procrastinating, I won’t.

You could always do more insect photography, Suna.

More tomorrow. I’m pretty tired from a GOOD lesson with the horses. Trot, trot, trot, trot. Apache was great.

Trot trot trot

The Best Advice (and horse stories)

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Gee, y’all, I’ve received a lot of good advice. I’ve been lucky to surround myself with wise women (and some treasured wise men), so good advice has flowed my way. Plus I read Brené Brown, so I’ve read a lot of good advice too.

But I’m supposed to share the best advice I ever received. I’ll share the on that came to my mind first.

Don’t let other people be your mirror.

My therapist, Victoria, used to say that when I would get all upset and believe what some of the more negative people in my life said about me. I’d keep seeing myself like my ex looked at me, people at jobs, etc. This advice helped me learn to value my own assessment of myself. I think back to it whenever I dive deep into self pity or negative self talk.

Maybe it will help you.


Horse Stories

I’ve been trying to not write about my horses, but sometimes I just want to share. And it IS my blog!

First. Today I was taking a walk to the mailbox (it’s my reward for editing three job aids). I looked over and saw good old Dusty grazing peacefully between me and the pond. I vaguely recognized the other horses were on the other side of the pond, next to the road.

Suddenly there came a thundering sound and, followed by splashing and branches snapping. Drew appeared from under the willow trees, running at full speed. He had run along the muddy shore of the pond and emerges with nostrils flaring and tail tossing. He galloped straight to poor Dusty, chomped him on the shoulder, them proceeded to buck, kick, and fling himself around like he was electrified.

Once he stopped, he nipped Dusty again then zoomed back to the other side of the pond, poked the other two horses, fell to his knees and rolled.

I wonder what was going on?

Second. Apache has been feeling better, and did fine on two fairly short rides since our last lesson. But today he was not happy when I tried to do a bit more work now that the weather broke slightly. He did the absolutely frightening thing where he shakes his head violently to get the reins out of my hands, puts his head down, kicks, and takes off. I am very proud that I have not fallen off.

Actually, I’m getting way better at getting the reins back, trying to relax, and getting him to stop, some of the time. Otherwise he heads toward the tack room like his life depends on it.

I figured it would not be a good idea to give him the idea that the ride will be over if he does this, so I let him sit and rest a while at the tack room, then got him to walk fairly calmly to the round pen where his halter was. He thinks that is also a place to stop, so he went along with it.

But I am proud of myself that I got him to make some figure eights, and sidepass (fairly well). When I got off, I decided to let him know the work doesn’t always end when his halter is back on. We went on a nice walk around the area, dearth with a scary dumpster very well, then had some nice together time where I let him graze on some long grass that’s way better for him than the new grass in his pasture.

Apache in grass heaven.

I hope I did well, He was sure calmer by the time I took off his saddle. I just sometimes think I’m not cut out for this horse stuff. I’m STILL not a very good horse leader, apparently.

PS: Drew has been just fine. I love his trot.

Do I Have Energy?

What things give you energy?

This question made me laugh. I’m not the most energetic person on earth. But I’m more energetic than I was when younger, thanks to developing outdoor hobbies.

Wood sorrel gives natural energy! Maybe?

Admittedly, one thing that’s giving me energy these days is thyroid pills. Now that I have a dose that doesn’t annoy my gland, I do have more energy and I burn more calories during the day. I feel much more “normal” now in that respect.

Just thought this false foxglove was pretty.

Other things that give me energy are working on fun projects, at work or home. I’m enjoying my current work project and the temperature blanket.

First row of Part 3. Start of September.

When it’s not too hot (it was 104 today) I get energized working with the horses. I just don’t want to stop. Today was another overheating day, though.

Leave us alone. We’re eating.

And going into natural areas makes me extra energetic. I had so much fun running around identifying plants at the watercolor place yesterday! I get almost giddy at times like that.

Ooh! Muskmelon! Thrilling!

However, I’m sort of slug-like much of the time. I enjoy reading, knitting, watching nature and home renovation shows, and pool lounging, quite a bit. But that’s fine. I have an energy balance!

Rain is coming!

I’d Like to Learn More…

Which topics would you like to be more informed about?

I’m not sure what they’re intending for the answer to this one to be. Do they mean news items, like inflation and interest rates? Or academic topics? Religion? I’ll answer my way, as I’ve done every other day this month.

There are a lot of topics out there.

I love learning on most topics. I’m not hepped up on guns and ammo or whether the Rapture comes tomorrow (in any case I’ll still be here blogging away). But any new knowledge or topic to explore makes me happy.

Apache likes to explore his mini-desert, looking for grass.

Right now there are two topics I’m slurping up all the information I can get. The first is nature. I know that’s broad, but that’s why I’m so glad I’m a naturalist. All these tidbits I’m picking up about bird songs and migration patterns fill me with glee. And I’ll just never get tired of finding new plants here at the Hermits’ Rest Ranch or on my travels. The Earth is endlessly fascinating.

And of course, you’ve probably guessed that horsemanship is the other current topic. In addition to hanging out with and training with my equine partners, I enjoy reading every horse magazine I can get ahold of (critically). I love the Zoom sessions with my trainer, Tarrin. The information my neighbor Sara shares as she learns hoof trimming is also helping me take care of my horses better.

I’m so dang grateful to have had horses in my life since coming here. They teach you so much about people as well as animals!

I plan to learn some new things, too. Tomorrow I’m taking a watercolor workshop. Why not?

Food: I Am Fond of It

What are your favorite types of foods?

Oh gee, it would be easier to say what I don’t like. That’s tripe, brains, and green bean casserole.

I especially don’t like those onions.

Well, it says “types of food” in the prompt. I’m that case, I’d say I like fresh food minimally seasoned and not full of fat. From that I guess you can figure out that classic French cuisine is not high on my list of cuisines. Too many sauces and other adulterations.

What I love is Japanese food, which is fresh and simple, and dishes that would count as part of “the Mediterranean Diet.”

I even have sushi undies. Hey, at least I didn’t show the matching bra. Thanks, MeUndies.

But honestly, I like most food. Variety is fun, especially with vegetables. I love them. Meat is fine, but I don’t need it every day. If I was cooking just for me, I’d eat more fish and chicken and less beef, pork, or venison.

Lest I sound overly healthy, I do love ice cream, Blue Bell, of course.

I had good food this weekend. The Italian food served at the 50th anniversary party we attended last night was very good. My favorite was the mushrooms in the chicken Marsala. Ooh there was a lot of flavor.

The cake was really moist.

And this morning I enjoyed a nice Mexican breakfast at a San Antonio favorite, La Familia. We were joined by a friend I’ve known since I moved from Texas and her high school sweetheart boyfriend. Eggs and green salsa go so well together.

Hooray for friendship.

I’m impressed I managed to write anything on this topic. I’d rather be telling you that rain lilies and sprigs of grass are appearing back home at the ranch.

In the desolate sand are two rain lily sprouts.

Well, Sure I’m a Leader

Do you see yourself as a leader?

This was a trick question. As a former La Leche League Leader, I’m a leader forever. Ha ha. Of course, I never discuss breastfeeding unless my input is solicited. I was called an n-word too many times just for offering information that I gave up. (Think the German regime that was defeated in WWII but seems to be coming back.)

But, I do think I’m a leader, because I totally suck at being a follower. I am not good at letting other people make decisions. I’m just full of input, whether asked or not. I’m just not a good follower of orders (which is a problem sometimes, because I have a lot of rules to follow).

I like being an equal team no, a lot. It’s my favorite way to work or do projects. I like getting input, coming to consensus and figuring out each team member’s strengths and weaknesses.

When I’m put in a true leadership position, I prefer a more collaborative style. I’ve really done a lot of great projects this way and feel proud of what I’ve accomplished along with so many great teams. Sigh. My projects at La Leche League and Planview were great times and I met such fascinating people.

I probably prefer leading by example to any official position. I just hope that I do a good job. I do worry about my tendency to be bossy, especially when I’m not comfortable with how things are going. I’m still working on that.


Guess what? It rained over two inches today. It made for scary driving conditions, but didn’t flood or anything, so it’s all good. Between two showers, I went out to see hundreds of flying insects I can’t identify (they didn’t hold still for me). There were dozens of tufted titmice in a honey locust tree grabbing a bug, then going back to eat it. How charming!

Look closely and you’ll see a lot of gray birds.

There were just a LOT of birds out today. The Merlin app even heard a duck in the pond behind the woods. I’m so glad migration has started and I can see and here more types of birds. Here’s what I heard during two listening sessions (plus lark sparrows, which sing beautifully).

Here are some I’ve photographed in the last couple of days.

After the fun with birds, Lee and I jumped in my little car and drove to San Antonio, not enjoying the traffic, but enjoying the post-rain skies. We’re going to an anniversary dinner for real estate investor friends of Lee’s.

We are in an Embassy Suites hotel that’s as nice as some of the condos we go to. We have no plans for tomorrow but I think there are things to do where we are (way northwest). Sunday morning we hope to see an old friend of mine. I’m glad we’re able to go, thanks to generous dog and horse sitters.

View and reflection.