Facebook – The Hermits' Rest

How to Keep Up Online

In what ways do you communicate online?

Greetings from the Polar Vortex where it finally got cold, even way down here in Texas.

We’ve been busy keeping ourselves and the dogs warm

Today’s question is harder than it seems. It forces me to admit something that kind of makes me sad: I’m no longer an internet pioneer. Y’all, I’m even in a couple of books for being an early feminist voice on the ‘net. I made websites before color monitors existed. I had email way before most people did, thanks to being at the University of Illinois.

I helped make online communities before Facebook. So what? Yep. That’s the past. Zzz.

I no longer keep up with things. Twitter bored me, I have to admit. I also don’t enjoy watching videos for very long (amusing since I create them every day at work). So I’m not on YouTube for hours. And I cannot tell you how annoying and boring I find Tik Tok and Reels and social media influencers.

Please enjoy them and tell me about it, though. I am fine experiencing those things second hand.

So. Boring senior citizen Suna communicates online mainly in Facebook and communities there, and by reading and writing blogs.

I text friends and family a lot, and enjoy my text groups with them. Certainly I’m up on Cameron news thanks to that! I also really enjoy online Zoom meetings that started in the pandemic but are now just nice ways to keep in touch with people I used to email a lot. I feel so close to friends all over the place!

Email is there still, but mostly for work or nonprofit stuff. The few email lists I’m still on don’t get much of my attention these days, because I run out of time.

For what it’s worth, that’s that. I enjoy the online communities as much as the in-person ones, though. I like blog comments and interacting with readers, a lot. So thanks to you commenters and silent readers. You know who you are!

It’s too cold to have a daily bird, though I did enjoy looking at puffy sparrows today. It’s supposed to snow tomorrow. I know the chickens are enjoying their heat lamps and the horses appreciate the new shelter. I tested both of them out today!

Our heater is still working, so us humans are coping well with 19° F weather. The heat pump unit got wrapped in insulation, so it’s not failing when it got into the 20s like it used to. We are getting stuff figured out, thanks to the brain power of the ranch commune.

The far left square is today. That’s the coldest day I’ve recorded!

It may snow tomorrow! I bet I take pictures. What do you think?

No, Not Me, a Clone

Oh friends. I have a wee vent. I’d like to have a lot of words with whoever came up with those “clever” clones of Instagram accounts that show up in the Messenger app with people’s names and photos and say brilliant stuff like, “Hello hope you are doing?” (today’s) or “Hello, how are you doing today?” All these things do are waste the time of the cloned person, because they have to repeatedly let people know that no, it’s not them, it’s some bot.

No, that is not me at right (or below, if you’re reading on the phone). Do you need to check with me to be sure? Nope, not at all. Just look at it.

Is that how my name normally looks? Nope.
Is it from a Facebook account? Nope. (I only message from there.)
Does it have any posts or followers? Nope. (My actual Instagram has my name spelled normally and has a bunch of posts and followers.)
Does it say “New Instagram account?” Yep.

If the answers you get match these answers, then you don’t need to let me (or whoever has “messaged” you) know about it. There’s nothing they can do.

What you can do is block and report the account.

See this message I got back in July from “Anne Hutten?” I knew it wasn’t from her. Name spelled wrong, 0 posts and 0 followers, new Instagram account, and the typical message. I looked at the bottom of the screen. I clicked Block. If I had clicked Report, I would have told them that she was pretending to be Anne and answered a few questions. The message would have disappeared. I was just lazy and didn’t do it, which is good, so I can show you the example.

How can you prevent this?

You can’t, sad to say. These bots just go grab people’s pictures and mess with their names to make a fake account. I’m not even sure what they do if you respond. I could only find endless sets of instructions to report and block the accounts.

I’m to the point where it takes me a few seconds to block and report, then go on my merry way. When I get cloned, I end up spending a lot of time saying that’s not me and giving instructions to people who are trying to help me out by letting me know something I can’t do anything about.

I guess enough people fall for these things and let the cloned account ask for money that it makes it worthwhile for them. That means they’ll keep cloning. So, let’s not panic, just go on with our lives.

Now, if someone hacks your account, it’s a different story. That’s when someone takes your legit account over. That is something you need to report to Facebook, Instagram, or whoever, and work with them to take care of the problem.

I searched Facebook for me. Looks like I’m safe. Haylee Sue Ann seems to be a real person.

To find out if there are extra people pretending to be you, by the way, you can simply search Facebook or Instagram and see if there are “fake you” people out there. (Don’t report actual people with the same name as you – it’s a big world out there!)

Oops, in addition to the Haylee person, there’s a fake Instagram me. They have been reported!

OK, hope that helped. Here’s a quiz. Review the images below and see if you think they are fake or real.

Note that THIS one is a fake Facebook account, not Instagram.

Oh yes, I wanted to assure you that I do have an Instagram account that’s legit. Some people even look at it! I have no urge to be an Influencer of Insta-famous, so I am perfectly happy with my numbers.

Hasta luego.

Asking Questions to Build Community?

Lately I’ve varied the kinds of things I put on social media. Sometimes I share a thoughtful meme, sometimes I talk about how I’m feeling, sometimes I share a blog post, and other times I do a check-in, where I ask people a question.

Hey, now the hair on my avatar is exactly the right color.

By far the most engaging posts are ones that ask questions. Today, I was feeling a little bummed, so I asked people to share what the highlight of their day had been so far. I was delighted to see that by 6 pm it had close to 80 comments! I heard from so many people, some of whom I hadn’t heard from in a while.

Plus, conversations got started in the comments. I love it when I see my friends “talking to each other” thanks to a conversation starter from me. That may be my favorite aspect of the Facebook, conversations. I learn so much, and I am so often uplifted and encouraged when I read what my friends have to say.

I went to get a picture of random friends, and I was amused to see my most liberal friend right next to my most conservative friend (I’m not saying who’s who, because this selection has multiples of just about every kind of person). And they are both great people. I love that my friends are a mix of ages, locations, points of view, and dispositions.

In marketing, they always tell you to put a call to action on things you post (like, click, comment, please!). I am not all that great at that, though I do add a question to my blog posts when I sincerely want to know something. Marketing is SO not my thing, which is probably why I still only have a thousand followers and don’t get 40 WordPress likes every time I sneeze (I am guessing not being young, cute, and an “influencer” may also have something to do with it). I should be grateful that at least someone reads what a grumpy old Boomer with blue hair types! (I admit that I type mostly for me, anyway…it’s been said that I’m self centered…maybe a narcissist…I do stare in the mirror a lot.)<– humor.

But, seriously, the reason I’m here is to give YOU this little hint. If you want to hear from your friends and family ASK something! It works like crazy, and if you happen to have something you want to promote along with it, feel free (some of us do prefer subtle promotion that is not constant, though, just saying). People like to answer questions, it makes them feel like someone is actually interested in them (and in my case, I am!). This builds community, and it’s free PLUS you can do it from the comfort of wherever you happen to be!

So, what would you like to know?
What shall I ask next?
Your friend, Suna

What if you’d rather answer questions than ask them? There are two people I follow on Facebook, who ask great questions nearly every day: Joanna Fontaine Crawford and Jonathan K. Horstmann. One’s a UU minister and one’s a filmmaker/musician (both are parents of attractive children, ranging from babies to young adults). I’ll try to share others as I’m reminded of them. You can “meet” interesting folks by reading other people’s answers, too, and in these times, I’ll take any kind of uplifting human content I can get!

Reaching deep to find something uplifting here. Image by *@trac1 via Twenty20*.

Let me know if you have any questions you’d like me to ask, either here on the blog, or on Facebook (I don’t ask questions on Instagram). Not connected? Tell me you’re a blog reader, and I’ll be your friend unless you start spamming or attacking others!

Quit Spying on Me, Internet

First, yay, we made it to scenic Jackson, Tennessee, which means we should be able to eat dinner with my stepmom tomorrow, even though we lose TWO hours thanks to Daylight Savings Time.

But, on to a brief rant. I’m sure you’ve experienced the extra creepy feeling you get when something you were just talking about appears in your Facebook or other ads.

I find it less than helpful. Why do I keep getting ads for stuff I just bought? Like I need another one?

Example. Last night my sister gave me a throw with a pattern of birds on it. She said, “It has birds,” and I looked at the picture on the label, then agreed it did have birds on it. It’s a nice blanket.

Less than an hour later, this appeared in my Facebook feed:

It’s the matching comforter set. I did NOT describe the throw or say what it was called or take its picture. I understand Siri listening in to everything I say or browse to, but no one said what the dang throw looked like or its brand. Just birds. There are many throws with birds on them.

I believe Facebook has out-creepied itself. I may become a conspiracy theorist and claim it’s in my retina or something. Then today, when we stopped for lunch:

It was taunting me.

Now friends, I don’t need advice on why I should leave social media or turn off settings x, y, and z. If someone, something, or some corporate entity wanted to gather intel on me, they already have it. I’m just not that fascinating. So spy away. I’m sticking with social media omnipresence.

I just wish they’d suggest more things I want or new places to eat, rather than things I’m familiar with.

Thank You, Past Me

I was looking at this picture of me in my mid teens. This is how I picture myself in my head. Hippie outfit, hair long or in braids, looking like I don’t live on this planet.

I am grateful to Past Suna of 2-3 years ago right now. You see, more and more of my friends are dramatically leaving Facebook, declaring that they just can’t take the mean political stuff. When KB did that yesterday, I began to think, hmm. I’m just not seeing all that much. And what I see is only occasionally offensive. Why?

Past Me to the Rescue

I thought, well, I have blocked a few people who refused to be civil to others. But not all my politically volatile friends. Hmm wait!

I found the Facebook setting that let me block particular words! I had blocked the name of the current President. AHA!

The thing is, this feature doesn’t seem to be there anymore. It was called snooze keyword. It seems to still be working for me, though. Oh happy day.

Random

Also I got a picture of the old bathtub we are keeping at the Pope Residence.

And while out at my toy store, Lowe’s, we found electric heaters that look like wood stoves on sale. So, we have those ready for the new offices!

Off to empty Anita’s house so her tenant can move in. Then we get to eat many snacks. Superb Owl time! Hoot!

Passive Aggressive Facebook Posts Are for Doofuses and Doofi

Gee, Suna, what are you going to rant about today? Maybe you can complain about something, and by doing so, do the thing you are complaining about. We used to have a word for that in linguistics, but never mind. At least you are presenting both alternative pluralizations of doofus, to please your friends.

You know how you ignore things and ignore things, then one day your tolerance dips or something, and you suddenly get really annoyed? Today that happened. I saw just one too many vague, passive aggressive Facebook meme about how “some people” just don’t do the right thing. I just shouted aloud in the parking garage, “If you have a problem with someone, TELL THEM.”

I then ran off and found a fine article to back up what I was feeling: How Facebook is a Weapon for Passive-Aggressive Destruction, by Alex Miles. Three years ago, she was also getting sick and tired of people who would rather fire off vaguely worded barbs at “someone” than talk to whoever it is about what’s bugging them. “Someone” is just supposed to KNOW the barb is about them, and learn from the helpful advice and turn their lives around. HA. Nope.

Myles points out:

The classic method of passively displaying aggression on social media is via quotes and memes that say something, often seemingly politely, gracefully or even cryptically, but the intent behind the message is condescending, patronizing and deliberately posted to make a definite point. There is a degree of separation in this method as the person sharing them is not the one who wrote the words originally.
How Facebook is a Weapon for Passive-Aggressive Destruction

This one stabbed me right in my highly sensitive soul. And who among us has not dealt with this:

…if the passive-aggressive one is confronted and questioned they may downplay the situation by reverting to denial and manipulation. They might even send smiley emoticons to make it seem as though they are perfectly at peace and then turn everything around to make the person questioning them appear over-sensitive, paranoid and as though they are overanalyzing or imagining things.
Same source

Or need some good old-fashioned therapy, a thing you do not obtain on Facebook.

Go ahead and read the article, which does provide some insight into how people end up doing this stuff, and ideas about how to nip it in the bud. I give Myles credit for thinking people just might be able to actually talk to others about their behavior, discuss whatever brought it on, and come to a mutual understanding and trusting relationship. That sure would be nice!

Am I wise or what?

My favorite solution for doofuses or doofi I know who engage in this behavior is to ignore it, and then send some invisible love rays out to them, because they obviously need it. Doesn’t that make me seem saintly.

Why Is Facebook So Happy? Or Is It?

I have a Facebook friend (I’ll call her MR, since those are her initials) whose wisdom I admire very much. I’d like to share some of her thoughts and add my own. She recently posted:

As I scroll the feed and see endless perfection and happiness, I reflect on my childhood, youth, teens, to adulthood and reaffirm to myself how unrealistic and unhealthy social media can be if taken literally. This is molding our children[;] many false beliefs and visuals are creating a society stricken with major depression, high anxiety and extremely low self esteem.
Faccebook post, March 11, 2019

Come sit a while in my favorite chair, since I have a lot to say again today.

This friend has recently experienced the loss of a young adult child, and has shared her grief experience and thoughts about her son very openly and honestly. I really appreciate this, because I’ve learned a lot, and her perspective has helped me with my own young adult children and their issues (that’s right; my children have issues). She continues:

As I continue to walk through my life, experiencing the rolling hills, twists, turns and storms, I’m realizing and confirming it’s through my imperfections and dysfunction that helps define who I am.
MR, on Facebook

Any of you who know me personally will recognize that sentiment as something I’ve conveyed many times in one way or another. I firmly believe that if you never screw up, your path to wisdom and inner peace will be long and hard. We grow through our mistakes, learn to forgive and accept forgiveness through them, and gain a sense of community by sharing what we learn.