Ramblings – Page 2 – The Hermits' Rest

Who wants to read this?

How do you write what people actually want to read?

What a good question! If I had set my sights on being a professional content creator or influencer, I’d probably think about this question more. I blog because I have a compulsion to write, and I enjoy connecting with others and getting feedback. I don’t feel authentic if I tailor everything I say to get people interested. On the other hand, I don’t want to alienate my friends and family who read my messages to them, so I don’t want to come off as rude or confrontational.

That doesn’t mean I don’t. I have heard enough feedback that I come through as condescending or think I’m better than others to know I can irritate folks. I’m grateful that my work in being okay with not being everyone’s cup of tea has paid off, and that I’m comfortable not pleasing people whose beliefs I disagree with. We do t all have to agree.

That being said, I enjoy sharing sweet snippets of rural life and quirky thoughts that might bring a smile to some readers’ faces. That works for me!

Cuteness did occur today, as some clever horse opened a gate and let everyone out to seek green grass. I think I saw it happen, just by luck, as I looked out the window.

I let them find the few places that are still green (near the septic field and where we water a tree), and they had quite a fun day. I really enjoy watching the horses having fun.

I’m taking a bit of a work break while some things get figured out, so I got to hang out with the birds and my garden spider friend for a while this morning.

I’m always surprised at how many plants are just fine in dry periods. The dove weed and snake weed keep going no matter what, which pleases the pollinators.

Much of the day was spent getting ready for a trip, so everything got watered, fed, and prepped for my absence. It should all be fine, since we have folks watching over the plants and animals. Of course the horses had to get their food. They were very good and all came back into the pens when I asked them to, except one.

Spice really wanted to help me dole out their rations. She tried to come in the feed shed, but didn’t like the step. Whew. She did a good job of cheering me up!

This also cheered me up. My son got this great shot of the Barred Owl he’s been seeing at his work site!

Oh, the spontaining!

What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

Today my friend Martha, with whom I will be traveling soon, told our lunch group that she’s a planner. She has a long list of activities to do on the trip.

I thought to myself, that’s not me. I’m more of a “spontainer” when traveling. That’s Lee’s and my term for just picking a point and going. We often embark on trips with no concrete plans of our route or what we will do when we arrive. Thus, I’m having a hard time picking the most spontaneous thing I’ve ever done.

I’ll admit this. My current mental state is making it hard to dredge up memories—I have become comfortably numb, like in the old song. It will get better; I’m fairly sure I’m not suffering from cognitive decline more than the average person my age. I’m just having a surge in anxiety, which I’m working to understand (both intellectually and psychically).

Good thing I have these guys to soothe my symptoms.

Back to being spontaneous (which I know is not right for every occasion and which often benefits from a bit of planning to succeed). It occurs to me that I am not spontaneous about big things, just day-to-day choices with few consequences. That fits with my self image of not being a big risk taker. I’m now laughing at myself. The cautious spontainer, that’s me, always trying to be everything at once (I’m an extroverted introvert, too).

So, I didn’t get a good answer to the prompt, but I figured out something about myself. I’m definitely comfortable with having conflicting traits. I’m hoping this helps with flexibility and the cognitive dissonance required to feel comfortable at times like these. Maybe it will help me get over this mental struggle.

I forgot to wish you kind readers a happy equinox or Mabon yesterday. It’s still very hot here. To welcome the season I’m wearing a shirt that says, “My favorite season is the fall…of fascism.”

PS: maybe my most spontaneous act was walking into a salon and declaring I wanted to bleach my hair white and cut it very short. That wasn’t the plan that morning!

Self care everywhere

How do you make time for self-care?

I hadn’t planned to answer this, but seeing as it’s vital to me right now, I can share my seemingly endless supply of self care practices. Do I practice a lot of self care? Indeed I do. Do I feel bad about it? Nope. Right now it’s very important to care for our tender hearts. To balance the negativity around us with positive energy, we need to protect our energy so we can share some. Not all!

So, what do I do? Here is an incomplete list:

Every morning I sit with Lee on the porch drinking coffee and looking at birds. It’s a gentle start to a day.
I also do my Finch self-care birb app before I start working. I do deep breathing, list some positive thoughts, reach out to others and have gentle fun with friends on the app.
During work days I try to get out and walk at least twice, to get the mail, feed the fish, etc. Mail and fish both are fun and (usually) relaxing.
I limit exposure to the political news. I find positive news to read about.
I do my nails weird colors and patterns. It forces me to take a break and do something just for me every week. Like my knitting and crocheting, the process is more important for my self care than the product.
I make sure to spend time with friends and family. I have two online meetings per week with friends, plus my monthly tarot group. And I have lunch every Wednesday with a group of women who support each other and make me laugh. I often meet friends for breakfast or dinner, and I try to have good conversations with my local family as much as possible. They are positive and care for us.
The horses, dogs, and poultry are part of my self care. Sure, feeding and caring for animals can be a chore, but it makes me feel good to interact with them. And it gets me out of the house.
Blogging is also self care. I work things out in my mind when I write, and I enjoy the conversations with others than blog entries can start. It’s part of community building, and since my audience is small, I don’t have to deal with unkind comments. Thank you, readers.

Whew. That’s a lot. In today’s self care, my tarot group met tonight, and I got the most sad and negative bunch of cards ever. It just confirms that I’m going through a challenging phase. The good news is that it pointed to Lee as someone to help guide me past this and return to equilibrium. There’s always going to be positive and negative “stuff” floating around, after all.

And as for stuff, all our “stuff” is now flowing through new pipes as it heads toward the septic tank.

The pad will be centered around the window in the photo

Now that hurdle is passed, the prep for all our future concrete paths and the massive pad for the water tank can continue. It’s quite a project!

Penney found a used piece of pipe and really enjoyed it. Yuck!

If I could mess with time

If you could erase one event from history, what would it be?

I think I’d rather stick with “the devil you know.” The possibility of preventing one atrocity that leads to a worse one makes me leery of even contemplating erasing an event. There always seems to be another evil lurking in the wings after one’s eliminated.

That’s also why I don’t wish anyone, even my least favorite human, would die earlier than nature intends. Just think about what may happen next. Or not. That leads to disregulation.

Breathe and think about birds, trees, or cute little dogs. I happen to have an example dog. This is a series of Benito playing.

Who writes these prompts? I guess I can’t imagine anyone really wanting to erase an event. But maybe I read too much science fiction as a youth.

I can believe this

What’s a conspiracy theory you actually find believable?

I’ll tell you. I would not be at all surprised if the powers running all the world’s political entities are a class of people who aren’t citizens of any nation, are loyal only to each other, and just want everyone else to do what’s needed to support them.

I’m running out of other theories.

Thus, I plan to continue to do what’s needed to keep me and my family mentally and physically sound, until I no longer can.

Hmm. This question brought out my existentialism. I better go find another nature book.

Note from self?

If your future self could send you one sentence, what do you hope it would say?

I hope my future self (maybe when I’m 102) would tell me how proud she is of all the learning and growing past me did, and that she appreciates all the memories of my fun with nature, friends, and family. My guess is she’ll have a lot to say.

Thankfully, today was uneventful, which allowed me to get lots of work done in between helping people, which is also part of my job, come to think of it. Other than work, I just enjoyed the animals and their antics.

Apache always thinks everyone else’s food dish is better.

There must have been something outside this evening, because there was sure a lot of barking. But I forgive the dogs, due to mostly being cute.

Watch Benito’s tail.

And hey! I finally saw a bird eating from my tree stump feeder. I kept putting food on the stump, just in case. No photos of that, just dogs. Enjoy.

I’d like to talk to you about life insurance.

It makes me irrationally happy to see Benito play with toys. The other dogs no longer do. He is so full of pure joy.

Not to worry

What’s something you used to worry about but don’t anymore?

Oh, there’s a whole bunch of crap I don’t worry about anymore. That gives me a lot more mental space for living in the moment, discovering beauty, and sending out positive energy, which is sorely needed right now.

One thing I no longer worry about is what other people think about me. That’s a hard one for a reformed people pleaser! (And it is so easy to slip back into those patterns under stress.) I am pretty sure anyone who is thinking random negative stuff about me is not worried about what I think of them! So, let them!

I’d rather remind myself that I don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives, so it’s better to assume they’re doing their best. Mental illness can make good intentions hard to see, but they’re usually there. Yes, even my least favorite political figures think they’re doing good. I do occasionally worry about them. Some worry is justified!

After another intense but interesting work day, and some rest and relaxation in the pool and with my animal buddies, I’m ready for some travel! See you tomorrow in another time zone!

Looking at Life

What’s a quote that perfectly describes your outlook on life?

The prompt writers seem to be fixated on quotes these days. I thought I’d just skip today, since the most exciting parts were at work and no one other than me would find my new assignments fascinating.

However, as I was looking to see what photos I took today, I realized I’d taken a photo of a page in the book I was reading that had a quote that resonated with me. I think it captures my outlook.

To develop a complete mind: Study the science of art; Study the art of science. Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.

Leonardo da Vinci, quoted in Noticing, by Richard Louv, p. 93

That’s just a perfect way to look at our journey through life.

I was pleased that two canna lilies bloomed today. The water garden looks ok!

That’s enough for today!

Everyone loves a good quote

What is your favorite quote?

I like quotes, too, but I’m extra-bad at remembering them, just like how canned jokes never stick with me. I claim that I specialize in situational humor and improvised sayings, though I’m not funny or pithy these days.

I’ve been feeling like a spring flower in a summer landscape — in the right place at the wrong time.

But I do have a quote for you! I remembered that I liked one of the pull quotes at the beginning of the book I’m reading, Noticing, by Richard Louv.

So many of us would-be do-gooders and nature lovers resonate with that one.

Meanwhile, I’m continuing to do things I like to do, not that I think I should. I put silly little stickers on my nails. It was fun. If you don’t like it, don’t try it.

In the background of my nails is my journal. I enjoy putting Washi stickers in it. Artistic? No. Fun? Yes. There’s lots worse I could be doing!

I also stickered my big toe. My gosh that photo looks weird.

Other fun today was swimming, even though there are so many wasps around the pool. You can see nests better from in the water, I’ve learned. Spray time tomorrow!

Here’s a tip

If you had to give one life-changing tip, what would it be?

Just one? Do not confuse hormones or sympathy for love. Let’s just say I’ve made that kind of mistake so many times that I have no intention of starting any new love relationships.

On a more cheerful note, it wasn’t quite as hot this morning, and I figured out I can sit in the shadow of my bird hut to hang out with nature. My spirits were lifted by getting to see a Yellow-bellied Cuckoo in the closest tree.

It never faced me, but I got to see its eye!

I also got to watch three Gulf Fritillaries enjoying the passion vine and sorrel vines. It was rather enchanting.

I’ve really needed more nature time lately. I’m trying to figure out what I want to do for the years I have left. I really want to stop volunteering to do things to try to make others happy, and I don’t want to spend my time on things I don’t enjoy, just because I “should.” If I cut back on obligations and let myself just relax more, my mental state could improve.

Looks like the green heron is a hummingbird on the fence wire.

If my mental state improved, I’d start exercising again and keep feeling better. That would lead me to choose activities I enjoy, not obligations. A happy cycle.

A thing I enjoy is taking pictures of dogs making funny faces.

More on this later. I’m thinking hard but also allowing ideas to come to me when I’m relaxed.