Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.
I can’t really say one positive thing about family member has done, because I have many kind and generous souls in my immediate and extended family. I don’t know how I’d be coping right now without their support.
This story has no illustrations, so you get today’s nature. First, two flowers and two bugs.
One recent positive thing has come about because my stepmother, who really resembles my late mother in so many ways, has moved into assisted living, this needing to downsize again. So, my stepsister got the fun job of going through her inheritance, or at least some of it, to see what she wanted and what could be passed on in some way.
Oh look, a butterfly. It’s a Phaon or Pearl Crescent.
When I got the call about Flo going into the smaller, safer, apartment, I never expected to be told that my stepsister wanted to give me all the jewelry my dad had given Flo. This is her inheritance, not mine! I was so touched at the offer. I’ll treasure whatever I receive. Dad had good taste in jewelry for a boy from the hills of Georgia.
Beautiful checkered skipper
The next call I got indicated there’s more than jewelry and that we need to meet somewhere to transfer it. Ooh. I guess I’m glad we have that storage container (really the issue is that Flo mainly owned very breakable objects that shouldn’t be shipped – I think I have enough big things already.
Red admiral with wings folded
Anyway, this generosity is appreciated deeply. I admire Flo’s good taste so much, and I love her paintings. I’m so lucky that both she and Mom were painters (and other artistic endeavors). And yes, you can tell I’m a Baby Boomer, because I love family heirlooms. I don’t expect my offspring to be too interested in my treasures; they’ll make a GREAT estate sale, though.
Very blurry lizard, but a big one!
And that’s my story! Today was another good one, and I’m glad I could help out my family a little myself!
Happy ladybug season (with silky evil ukulele and medick).
(Yes, D&L, I’m trying to come up with a plan. Love you both.)
I admit that right now I don’t have a favorite restaurant. There are lots I like (even here in Cameron), but no favorite. But I think I have a favorite chef at the moment!
It’s found here, in a Fulshear, Texas suburb.
We met this fine chef on a visit to Lee’s high school friend and his spouse, along with our frequent visitor, Matt. We are all pretty compatible in our philosophical leanings, so the conversation was good. It was so good that I forgot to take any photos except plants in the wild area behind the house.
Hummingbirds and butterflies loved this rough leafed dogwood.
Anyway, we are extremely well on this visit. I’m pretty sure that if I could hire a personal chef, P. would be it. Everything was healthy but delicious, exactly what I’d make for myself if I had the time and patience! Examples:
Homemade Gorgonzola salad dressing. It was so thick and savory, not as intense as blue cheese.
Salmon en croute. The best way to cook salmon. Topped with a papaya salsa. Whoa. That was good.
Then there were extremely cute little purple potatoes, the purplest I ever saw.
I forgot homemade pumpkin rolls that were only subtly pumpkin. I never had anything like it.
Pumpkins showed up for pie in dessert, too.
What a meal! And she made it look easy. But wait, there’s more! In the morning we had this Amish oatmeal bake with fruit, nuts, and eggs in it. It may sound weird, but it was fantastic. I was ready to go raise a barn after that.
Who needs a restaurant when you can visit a gourmet cook? I wish I were that talented with food. But we got to enjoy it!
Visiting Suburbia
The drive to where we visited was very pretty, since we passed many beautiful cattle and horse ranches, but after we checked into our hotel (Lee needs a couch to sleep on and it’s weird to request that of hosts, like you reject their lovely bed), the GPS routed us through suburb after suburb. These were new, nice suburbs.
Wide streets, mown lawns, flowers.
Now, I lived in Suburb World while my sons were growing up. I was used to the fancy entrances, the ponds with fountains, the elaborate playgrounds and pools, and all that, though we lived in a less fancy suburb.
Perfect trees with perfect mulch.
I felt kind of like Granny Clampett arriving in Beverley Hills after living her life in the Ozarks. Jed! It must take a passel of sheep to get that grass so short! But where are their pens?
Manicured quaintness!
Yeah, I obviously have been out in the country/small rural towns for so long I’ve forgotten all that HOA perfection. To me, getting the fence lines weed-eated is dang fancy now. All those perfect lawns, those non-native plants, and those giant houses on tiny lots look strange to me now.
Bridge over a ditch. Wow.
I truly enjoyed the trip down memory lane, though. But I’m now more comfortable in towns with a magnificent old home next to a 50s ranch, with a house with no lawn and no recent maintenance next to that. And of course, non-functional vehicles randomly strewn around.
Greenbelts. No trash or river cane.
And out in the country, various pieces of equipment in various stages of utility lurk behind various outbuildings in various stages of construction. Often there are more travel trailers than homes. That describes the Hermits’ Rest, and it’s fine with me!
I honestly think our roadside plants are also pretty.
I’m glad there are places for all types of folks! It was fun visiting the Houston environs, and who knows. We may return. The food and hospitality are good!
I’m a technical writer/trainer/instructional designer as my paying job. I also do a lot of editing. This kind of profession has probably been around since there were jobs. Someone has to teach others skills needed in various professions, and someone has to record information accurately.
Someone had to pass along fence building skills on ranches, so birds could poop out seeds and create rows of trees on fence lines. These are Eve’s necklacepods (Styphnolobium affine)
I’m pretty sure there are technical manuals in hieroglyphics. No doubt scribes hand-wrote instructions for doing things correctly. Certainly people have shown others how to perform tasks (weaving, sewing, carpentry, brewing, and such) without need for writing. Maybe they drew pictures. Teachers have always had to be there to pass down necessary skills, whether formally or informally.
No one teaches flowers how to bloom.
So, while I don’t work in the world’s oldest profession, skills like mine have always been needed to pass on traditional skills. Teaching may be the second oldest profession.
Technology has affected what I do like it has any form of teaching. It’s provided new tools to create material and given us options like videos, which any of us can now use (to either teach or confuse, judging from the videos on knitting I’ve seen).
I need a genetics teacher to explain how the white versions of flowers come up.
Of course, what I teach about is software, which wouldn’t be a subject if we didn’t have computers at our fingertips. Sometimes I wish I could teach something more tangible or timeless. Software comes and goes in a flash. No one needs my WordPerfect teaching skills today!
I figure no matter what new technology comes up, I’ll be using it to share knowledge with others. That’s my passion.
Conversely, I’ll also keep wanting to learn. It’s why I enjoy my journey with trying to ride my horses skillfully and care for them appropriately. No matter how old I get, I want to keep moving and learning. Just look at my posture! I hardly recognize myself.
Apache also looks better.
I’m glad to have a job that’s always relevant, no matter how times and technology change. I’m just as glad to have hobbies that have been around a long time but remain relevant, like equestrian skills and crafts!
Temperature blanket through March 24
End of ramble. Here’s another picture of me and Apache, this time looking medieval.
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
Yet another item on my endless list of good things about getting older is that I finally realized that I always agreed to do things just because I was so flattered to be asked, combined with a deep desire to feel like I was a part of something. That has led me down some doozies of rabbit holes.
There’s probably more than one rabbit hole hiding in this photo.
I now realize I joined the nonprofit organization I used to work for mainly because I desperately wanted friends. I have never been passionate about the cause, though I did and still do respect it. I just never was a fanatic. So why I sacrificed my mental health and self esteem because I couldn’t say no to any of their requests is still puzzling to me.
I should have stopped and smelled the bluebonnets.
On the other hand, I did end up with lifelong friends. I have, however learned to say no to them when a request conflicts with my goal to remain safe from cultish behavior. I can help out a reasonable amount without harming myself.
I’ve also learned my friends still like me if I say no occasionally. Aha!
Don’t it make my blue-eyed grass blue?
Recently I’ve said no in a lot of subtle ways that maybe only I notice. But wow, it feels great to go out after a long work and horse day and just relax rather than cooking or cleaning. I’m saying no to self-imposed obligations.
It’s more fun to look for verbena than count verbs in my writing.
Back to the original question, I have many interests, and to do any of them well has meant setting some aside. You can’t do it all. So I’m not starting quilting again or trying to garden. You won’t see me doing extensive meal planning , shopping, and prepping, even though I admire those who have the time. I’m not writing a book even though I could. And so on.
Why look, vervain! Who needs to garden when this stuff just shows up.
Learning your limits and narrowing down your passions to something manageable can lead to less stress. That leads to contentment and appreciation of what you can say yes to. So I say.
Don’t worry, bee happy (only that’s actually a soldier fly)
I’ve had some much appreciated compliments during my life, though like so many others, I tend to discount compliments (oh, that can’t be true!) and dwell on criticism. That’s not a healthy pattern!
I took this photo before we left the state park to remember when I need to settle my mind.
So I’ve been trying to pay more attention to any compliments that come my way, soak them in, and express gratitude for them. One I loved came when I had only been at my current job for a few months. One of the subject matter experts told his colleagues how much he enjoyed my training videos, because I have such a soothing voice that it makes even project management software interesting. That was unexpected! I do think I have a pleasant professional voice, and I had good training thanks to all my singing and tips from a former supervisor who reads books for the blind.
Visually impaired people can enjoy honeysuckle because it smells so good.
One reason I enjoy my current job is that not only do I enjoy the work, but people let me know they appreciate what I create for them. Of course there is criticism, but it’s kind and helpful. I can improve! Win.
Hawthorn looked like a bridal bouquet to me. My compliments to the plant!
Here’s my big takeaway. The thing I find most important about compliments is how good it can feel when you let someone else know something that you like about them. A compliment that’s sincere, unexpected, and insightful can really brighten someone’s day. I most assuredly get more out of delivering a well deserved compliment than receiving one (though both are good!).
I was sad to leave this place.
What I can do without are insincere compliments that aren’t even well thought out. That’s more like flattery designed to get you to do something or buttering you up for some unpleasant request. Like talking to a poor salesperson. Yuck. If you can’t compliment someone accurately, don’t try.
But I was glad to get home. I missed the horses and Fiona. (And dogs!)
And that’s my advice after a long day of work and travel down roads so bumpy that my watch gave me exercise credit for them!
It was hard to crochet, too but I finished this bag to hold my phone in Seneca. The truck cab lacks amenities like cubbies.
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
I’ll tell you what I do with negative feelings! I squash them down and distract myself with plants! Who can feel bad when they’ve just seen their first mayapple?
The most beautiful plant! The flowers hide under a giant leaf umbrella!
One common criticism of Past Suna was that she was sooo negative. That stung, but it led me to get to work on figuring out how to reframe how I interpreted the world around me. That, in turn, has led me to express myself less negatively. It was a lot of effort at first, but I think I’m a lot less negative, in general.
Sure, it rained this morning, which made getting ready to travel difficult, but it was beautiful afterwards, and we needed the rain.
I’ve noticed that lately, when things happen that once would have made me upset, I notice that whatever it was happened, feel angry, annoyed, or sad, but then let it go. How did I finally learn to stop dwelling on things and wallowing excessively? I DO NOT KNOW. My best guess is that all the effort I’ve put into mindfulness, seeing the good in situations, and turning away negative thoughts became second nature after a lot of repetition. Dang, I wish I could have gotten there sooner, but that’s my path!
Who knows where our paths will take us?
Here’s an example. Today we were looking forward to picking up Hermee the Jeep and towing him to the Cooper Lake South Sulphur Unit State Park (quite a mouthful) behind Seneca the motorhome. Do you see a Jeep in this picture?
Nope, just a hulking home on wheels.
Yep, the towing equipment wouldn’t be done until 4 pm, way too late for us to drive 4 hours and arrive in daylight. It turned out the scheduled technician had a death in the family. Well, I was irritated for one minute, then just made sure we have enough food, and looked forward to the weekend anyway. That guy’s family is more important than having two vehicles. We will get Hermee on our way back.
We have all we need.
It’s harder to be negative, too, when you’re looking at life from a wider perspective. Hanging around with nature so much, and working to understand horses and dogs has helped drive home the perspective I need. I remember the world does not revolve around me, I’m part of a bigger universe, and pouting or weeping won’t stop the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. It’s so much better (at least for me) to just sit back and watch the show, tending to matters that are within my ability to control (my own actions).
Mexican plum
The fewer expectations I have of those around me, the more at peace I become. And this lets me truly enjoy the goodness and kindness that pours in from the family and friends who care. And they’re the ones that count and bring joy, even in hard times.
Um, anyway, yeah, we have driven to the park we accidentally drove to a few months ago. It’s more wintry in north Texas than at home, but I think I’ll have lots of fun walking around this weekend. The weather should be pleasant.
There’s a lake out there.
With no Jeep to get me to trailheads, I’ll get some good walking in. And if it rains, I have loads of knitting and writing to do. It’s all good. It’s weirdly stress free other than concerns for some family health issues. I can’t fix it by worrying, though, so I’ll keep sending out good intentions and doing whatever concrete things I can to be helpful.
And, here are some plants and vultures.
HoneysuckleRagwort VioletWillow in bloomBeautiful dead nettle Ah-choo. Oak pollen. Rusty blackhaw Campsite viewNew oak leavesMay apples in the woods Some kind of lilyKettle of vultures Things seen in the RV camping area
How do you deal with negative feelings? Is it easier or harder as you age?
If so, that may explain a few things. I’m not lucky either. Probably because I don’t believe in luck.
Oh look, some lucky vetch! It IS a pretty plant, which just started blooming.
I’m not superstitious. I’m all evidence based. I’m pretty sure whether I walk under a ladder or not won’t cause the karmic winds to shift and bring bad juju my way. Even if it did matter, I’m not to get all worked up about it.
I may not be lucky, but I felt privileged to enjoy today’s sunrise.
But hey, I’m very happy with my life and enjoy finding the good in whatever comes my way. You can learn from everything, as my friend Sara was telling me today. So even bad “luck” has its usefulness.
It’s Tuesday, so we had horse lessons. it was a spectacularly beautiful day, and both Apache and Aragorn did well. Even the parts that were challenging taught us, and Sara and I learned from each other, too. It’s great going to lessons together.
I’m making some real and tangible progress working with Apache on calming down when he wants to rush ahead or gets worried. Tarrin’s been helping me develop tools that may well help both me and my horse!
Drew sees Apache.
Poor Droodles is making slow progress in his rehab. He’s all a-flutter about lady horses, and is slowly getting better from his severe pain. We still don’t know what happened, but his right side was a mess. I hope he keeps improving.
Today I needed to get some things off my chest so I could move on past them and get back to my “normal” fairly balanced frame of mind. I’m very lucky that I was able to have a couple of Zoom chats and a couple of Messenger chats that set me back on an even keel.
Sun, rain, and clouds this morning.
I just needed to talk things through in a safe, nonjudgmental space. We all need friends to listen to us when we need to vent, even when we’re a little off base or even a little wrong. The listeners let you hear yourself, ask helpful questions for you to ponder, and allow you to gain a better perspective on whatever is bugging you.
By this evening, after a nice ride on a mostly calm horse (mentally thanking my supportive equestrian friends), cooking a tasty dinner for the menfolk, and zoning out knitting, I feel refreshed and able to cope with whatever challenges come my way. Woo hoo!
Most of them probably won’t see this, but I’d like to thank these friends for lifting me up between the weekend and today:
Alice
Barbara
Nancy S
Barbara
Connie
Kathie
Lynn
Phyllis
Anita
Martha
Jay
Pamela
Avery, Sara, and Tracee (for horse support)
I even got to be a bit of a listener for Pamela and Martha, too. One of the best things about good friends is that they can take turns being the helper and the helped. My high school friend group also does that for each other. It’s a good feeling all around.
When Goldie was sad, Lee cheered her up.
If someone has helped you get through a rough spot, be sure to thank them, too!
And if you get vexed, just look at some vetch and breathe. I did.
Nope. Not at all. Quite the opposite. I’m a big fan of the “sh** happens” school of thought, as a lifelong existentialist. I guess this sort of goes along with my agnosticism. I do feel a connection to the earth and I grant that there may be something we can’t perceive that ties things together, but chaos makes more sense to me. This allows me to enjoy each day to its fullest and not expect either good or bad times to last forever.
One day this dog showed up. Fate? Luck? Coincidence? Who cares. He’s a great dog.
If you believe everything happens for a reason or there’s a magical being watching you and causing things to happen to you, that’s fine with me. You may be right. Or I may be. But we both get to enjoy the beauty around us if we look.
Bluebonnets after rain.
It was a fine, fine day to be alive. I spent much of the afternoon grooming horses and riding. In shedding season they need the help. Tomorrow I’ll try to get Mabel to let me groom her. That should be fine, but I also want to de-bur her. Not so fine.
This boy sure lived his grooming and head rubbing. This one should be much more comfortable soon. Only the beginning of Apache shedding. Birds love it for nests. Drew tried to eat Dusty’s shedding, so I had to remove it.
Well! The nerve! They are recycling blog prompts and I’d already answered today’s! And it was a cold, rainy day, so there’s not a lot of other exciting to report, so a topic would have been helpful.
I wish you could have seen this in person. It nearly glowed in the soft light. Castilleja indivisa
My lack of drama made me feel like I could be a member of the Dull Women’s Club in Facebook! Look it up, both it and the men’s version can be quite funny until people get snippy.
Dull gray rain clouds
How dull WAS I?
My proudest accomplishment was tallying how many bird species I saw here at the ranch last month. 78. Down from 82 last month.
My second proudest accomplishment was hanging my clean clothing. I won’t tell you how long it had been, but I came across many pumpkin t-shirts.
I put away coffee mugs (I have to take them upstairs, because that’s where we make coffee).
Work happened. I wrote three bulleted lists, much like this one. I also helped a bunch of people and participated in meetings with grace and humor. I hope.
Animals were cared for. I got a lot of horse supplements that were too heavy to lift, so I got help with moving them out of the rain.
I listened to another Master Naturalist webinar to help me reach my continuing education requirement. They are always good, but they conflict with a work meeting, so I must watch recordings.
I texted with my friend Mandy. She does speech to text so she says way more than me.
I knitted a lot while Lee enjoyed the Dune movie that came before the current one. Spicy. I didn’t realize that Timothée guy was just a kid.
Now, wasn’t that fascinating? Must I blog all this? Well, why not? Sometimes I like reading that other people out there have their share of boring days. So, now you know I do, too. I prefer that to drama!
The Hermits' Rest 