Ramblings – Page 12 – The Hermits' Rest

A Good Day!

See, I knew things would turn around if I was patient. Today was a normal day with plusses and minuses, but the positive things have helped me feel on a more even keel. When I’m more centered, challenges are easier to handle. You betcha.

First off, I needed to go check on Apache’s eye. Of course the horses were as far across the pasture as they could get, but that got me more exercise. Win! (Also hooray that I finally have energy after the Covid slump.)

Of course we’re far away. It’s where the burs are.

I was happy to see the eye looking so much better. Drew was happy that I set the fly mask down so he could mess with it while I wiped Apache’s eye. That boy is so full of mischief and fun.

It was a good start to the day to hug all the horse buddies, Then I listened to birds, as usual. And worked. (Why am I telling you my whole day? To show it was so much better.)

Dusty is a good listener. He’d read about my whole day if he could.

Then came a miracle! Someone finally came to fix the Direct TV antenna/dish thing! He was nice, competent, and fun. Lee even liked him. This came just in time, since I was totally out of bandwidth on my satellite internet, which kills streaming.

I have to be able to watch my precious football. It’s my not-so-secret vice.

The “fun” continued and I made vet phone calls. We’re working with Dr Brinlee on adjusting Apache’s medication. It is on the right track. And I called Goldie’s vet to straighten out the bill, which I did with no yelling. Hooray again.

Look at my long leg! It’s getting strong.

Lunch was a nice break after phone calls. I’m the head phone caller in the house and I sure am weary of it these days. Anyway, friends and taco salad were a great respite.

Back at home I enjoyed a welcome sight. I went out to the front porch and all the dogs came out with me. Yes, even Goldie. She’s getting the hang of smooth upward and downward transitions. She needs a lot of petting, but she is healing well physically.

She even went out and watched as Seneca the motorhome got worked on. It’s heartwarming to see her hanging out with her best buddy.

More on Seneca tomorrow. We get to go camping again this weekend! All animal medications are under control, we think. Things should be fine.

Ooh! Final good thing. I looked on the Viasat page where I’d had to buy more high-speed data, and lo and behold, there was now an unlimited plan I could use. It’s only $20/month more. I snapped that up immediately and now I can get my work done. It was painfully slow this morning. I’m sure glad I checked to see if I had options. I feel a little less clueless about all these modern necessities at the moment, with the phones, the television, and the internet connectivity all fixed. I did it all myself!

Ooh. My best AI picture yet. It’s internet connectivity!

Next: jury duty, vaccinations, and getting the car serviced. It’s always something.

Overwhelmed

That’s today’s word: overwhelmed. That’s what happens when too many intense events happen at once. I think I was holding myself together to get through Goldie’s surgery, then it all got to me today. I felt all oogey in my brain.

Naturally, or coincidentally perhaps, more little things kept piling up. I couldn’t sit outside to work, because my laptop screen has stopped working. And changes, questions, and challenges started piling up so I was stuck at my desk, where my chair has decided it won’t stay up. Just little things. But, ugh.

Maybe I need new ones. Photo from Pexels.

I did get a few minutes to sit with Lee as we supervised Goldie laying in the sun. We managed to keep her from running anywhere. And later, when I finished all my tasks, including training in my new department, I got to just sit with Goldie and keep her calm and happy.

Meanwhile, Harvey is having more trouble. His eye now looks like it’s messed up. I hope he hasn’t abraded his eye like Scrunchy the pug used to. And his balance is work. Two sickly dogs can be overwhelming, but I just loved on them a lot.

Plus I was concerned about Apache, who has stopped eating his dinner. He just stares at the wall. And I was worried about his feet, because he hasn’t been running like the others when they come up for food. (Mabel, on the other hand, now runs like the racehorse she may have once been.)

So. It wasn’t Tarrin’s best day either. She also has a dog who had cancerous growths removed, then surgery on her intestines that had gotten messed up by medication. Eek. We are monitoring Goldie for that.

Ekho is recovering well and enjoying her favorite rolling in the grass activity. She’s hiding her bandaged foot.

Then this morning, Tarrin found her beautiful stallion had died overnight with no signs of struggle. That was overwhelming. Just awful. Sudden losses are so unexpected; you sorta go into shock.

So, since we both felt like crap, I skipped my lessons. Horses can tell when you aren’t at your best. However, Lee was nice enough to bring Apache over to Tarrin’s so we could talk about his food, medication, and feet. Secretly I also went so I could support her like she’s been supporting me with all the dog stuff.

It was very helpful to have a friend to talk to about how I was feeling, and it also felt good to be an empathetic listener. No doubt we will both be fine later, but today we were both sad.

Apache was probably wondering why he wasn’t being saddled and ridden, but he didn’t complain about just getting a trim. His soles are shedding, so Tarrin trimmed them and put his boots on.

Wearing his boots and making his sleepy face.

She helped me come up with a feeding plan and decided we need to switch his medication. He has too many side effects still, after a year. He should not be ignoring food and standing like a zombie. The powder medicine should be more palatable and have fewer side effects. Plus it costs less!

His plan is to convince me to take him out for grass that needs trimming every day.

Now I just have to try to return the 6-month supply of Prascend that just arrived. I sure hope I can. It’s expensive. But I’m glad to have a plan for Apache! He’s doing so well in training that I want him as happy as possible.

Long story, sorry about that. But I feel better thanks to good friends (online and in person) who care. I even got surprise presents from Kathleen, who did a stealth visit, meal, and present drop-off all while we were off with Apache.

Better times are coming! Or, I’ll be back to coping well with challenging times!

Little Miss Forest Bather

I read a lot. Apparently what I read sinks into my being and comes out unbidden, making me think I have original ideas. Or maybe I repeat other people’s ideas unbidden.

All creativity borrows from others. Um, this is a Clouded Skipper with an interesting wing. It’s just here because it’s pretty.

Anyway, I laughed at myself a lot this evening at our Master Naturalist meeting. The speaker was a very nice woman with whom I can tell I have much in common. The second she saw me she complimented my shoes, for example (I do highly recommend Converse high tops with the comfort insole—mmm comfy).

Comfortable and cute as heck. I designed them.

Anyway, the speaker is an accredited leader in shinrin-ryoku or forest bathing, which is a formalized way of doing what I do every dang day. I’ve read about it a lot since it was developed in Japan and love the fact that they’ve done research that shows the positive effects of hanging out in nature with intent. You know, what makes intuitive sense to folks like me. But now there’s science!

Apache says his favorite part of the formal forest walks would be the tea ceremony afterward. He is preparing tea from dried dove weed leaves. He wouldn’t touch a living plant.

What tickled me was that as she talked, every time she was at a loss for words or needed help with a concept, I just blurted out helpful information. Wow, is all that information easily accessible in my brain. I was either quite helpful or annoying. But, the information she provided was in essence a more formalized distillation of what I yammer on and on about in this blog and on Facebook every day. So I knew her talk, just not her reference material. I just stood/sat there smiling to myself through the whole thing.

I just kept laughing at myself whenever she suggested a practice, like sitting for 20 minutes or so in one place every day and just absorbing your surroundings. Yup. I do that in what Lee calls my Birding Chair. Before the chair, I just stood up, in any weather, except rain. Little did I know, that chair is my Sit Spot and there’s a whole book on it. I should have asked my friend Ann, who also does all this stuff but DID read the books.

Me and Ann being silly after the presentation.

I feel quite au courant with all my woodland wanderings and spot sitting. However, my urge to identify things as a naturalist means many of my walks aren’t forest bathing at all. But that’s okay with me. The Shinto/Zen side of me can coexist with my inner taxonomist. It all keeps me centered and happier.

If I were into more structured events, I’d consider taking the training to be one of the guides in this discipline. It must be very rewarding to see people experience nature washing over them for the first time. It can be so healing, and we all need that!

For further reading (I have permission to share)

Let’s Talk about Support

If anyone reading this isn’t struggling in some way, I’m glad for you, but a bit surprised. These seem to be hard times for most folks I know. And it doesn’t look like things are getting any easier. I vote that we all do the right thing and support each other. Let’s cut each other some slack. Some of us could really use kindness and empathy right now.

Share what’s good in the world. This is a Phoebe.

We got more sad dog news today and are trying to figure out what to do about Goldie’s bone cancer. I needed support and to just talk about it. Thank goodness I have a friend who I can talk to, who’s going through similar canine concerns.

The horse trailer is back, and I was glad to go to lessons again. Yes, I wanted to learn horse stuff, but I also wanted to talk to Tarrin and engage in mutual support about our dogs and other family issues. Talking really helped me think things through, and I hope I was a good listener for her. And of course I loved on her sick dog.

I also loved on Christmas. He’s love-a-bull.

The lessons were good, too. Apache amazes me. He is doing so well and keeps making progress even with time off. He improved on the dreaded side pass (hooray) and was very patient when I worked on posting at the trot. He’s become a real treasure. We have both calmed down so we can learn.

Drew is doing much better with me, too, though he had some challenges today. That lovely filly of Tarrin’s gets him all rattled. At least this time, Tarrin was on him. But he settled down after ground work and was fine afterwards. He just has to grow out of losing focus on his human leaders. it ain’t easy.

He needs to breathe deeply, just like I do.

The horse lessons are so helpful to me, as is the support I get from Tarrin. We have so much in common yet challenge each other. That is what we need right now, to see past our superficial differences to our common humanity.

Find yourself someone to support or to be supportive to. It’s a great counterweight to the struggles and challenges we are going through as humans.

I Deserve a Medal

Whew. Today I exhibited more patience than I knew I had, and finally triumphed over the maze of confusion known as AT&T/Direct TV customer support. I win.

My actual reward is a glass of lemonade. I deserve it, too.

Refreshing, though everything makes me choke since I was sick.

You see, last week our DirectTV stopped working. I called to get repairs scheduled, because Lee is easily annoyed with service providers. I believed I had it scheduled for today.

I was as relaxed as Penney in her cool, freshly dug hole, guarded by the Giant Shedding Machine.

In the meantime, we joined the modern world, and hooked the Apple TV up so we could watch television on it. Well, except that DirectTV and Disney are quarreling again, so we had to watch ABC on the antenna.

Aaron Rogers, shown in antenna TV, expresses my frustration.

Over the weekend we used streaming, which we’d been avoiding due to our rural bandwidth issues. It feels so modern to watch football on Peacock and Tulsa King on Paramount +. Kathleen will be very proud of us.

Then came today. No repair person showed. So, I dialed the number someone had left in a text. It was a magic number. It let me actually get help and service. In a mere 2.5 hours I got all my telecommunications needs met. It was a LONG 2.5 hours.

First I talked to a nice woman who determined that no repair person came because there is ONE technician in our area (Waco) and they got injured last week. Apparently they tried calling me but it came up as Spam Risk so I didn’t answer, and they didn’t leave messages. Grr. DirectTV is looking for a substitute, but as of now, I have no prospect of getting the dish realigned.

What a load of bull. Wait, that’s a cow.

Next, I talked to a billing guy. He was hard to understand, but tried to figure out my bill and my two different accounts. What he accomplished was to get money taken off our bill since we have no satellite. He was also able to tell me what phone numbers were associated with our account. Holy cow, there were eight. Four phones, a hotspot, two watches, and a “device” of some kind. That was unsatisfactory. I now understood why Lee said the phone bill was so high. That had to change. But billing guy couldn’t do that.

Beautiful Mabel approves. She grew a mane!

That fellow successfully transferred me to a very nice young woman who works for the mobility department, which is extra separate from the television department, the billing department, and the internet department. This woman and I spent at least an hour straightening things out. The bill is now halved, with fewer gigs on the RV hotspot, only phones for me and my children (yes, even the uncommunicative one), and no watches. We determined they don’t need to have their own numbers. I’d been trying to get these things cancelled for months, but the “helpful” app wouldn’t let me get to my phone info.

Modern life is hard.

But I’m stubborn and persistent as a Fiona.

I did enjoy talking to the agent about camping, Native American history, and the weird weather lately. That’s what happens when you’re kind to the people on the phone. She worked hard to fix my account, too.

However, she could not help with my final issue, which was to get the wifi setup cancelled on the Red House, since we aren’t renting it out anymore. That was a different department. So she transferred me and because the system only wanted to give me a call back on my landline from when I lived in Round Rock, I had to wait on hold.

Waiting, like all these Scissortails are.

That’s okay, I spent 15 minutes weeding nut grass in the pool flower bed. This made the next customer support lady laugh when I told her I had to crawl out of the flower bed to find my account number. But by gosh, she was able to cancel that account! All I have to do is return the equipment. Ugh.

Still, I did it! I finally got the right people to help me, didn’t get disconnected, and didn’t lose my cool. This is a true sign of modern competency.

I’m Inconsistent

Here’s an admission, one we probably can all relate to in our own ways. I can embrace two conflicting beliefs and feel fine about it.

I hope Carlton isn’t judging me for this.

I’ve always been quick to smugly point out cognitive dissonance in others when I spot it. It does make you feel like you’re intellectually superior, like you’d never do such a thing. But I bet you do.

I’m pretty sure Goldie IS judging me there from her recuperation spot.

Here’s my example. I’m not at all comfortable with violence. War disturbs me deeply, as does killing of other humans in other situations. I can’t fathom why my friends and neighbors want to arm themselves so they can be ready to kill at a moment’s notice. I’ve no tolerance for domestic violence. Yeah, quite the pacifist wimp, I know.

But today I watched three professional American football games enthusiastically, especially when the Dallas Cowboys were playing. I enjoy the strategy and athleticism of the game. But there’s a lot of hitting, pushing, falling, and hurting involved. Hmm. How on earth can I love football and hate violence?

There’s no good answer. Part of it is the culture I was raised in, which is a subset of American culture that lacks the gun worship, but has the sports enjoyment feature. It’s just how I ended up.

I’m a mix of values and beliefs I got from my parents, schools, mentors, and books. Photo from Pexels.

I could work on being more consistent. Alternatively, I could just live with it, just like all those Christians who hate people who look or talk differently, or the law and order folks who are fine with electing a lying criminal as their leader. Our minds work in mysterious ways. Asking humans to be logical and consistent is probably asking too much.

Go Cowboys.

Time for Bed after a Fine Day

What’s your favorite time of day?

I’m positive that my favorite time of day is the hour before o go to sleep, when I read and blog. I love the transition from one day to the next.

This is what I did just before bedtime – showing off the temperature blanket

Before bedtime, I had quite a fun day with my high school friend Kathy, who drove up to see me today. After getting my antibiotic, which I hope make me feel better, we went on a little hike to the lovely Rainbow Lake.

There were some interesting challenges, like a log crossing over a creek, but we made the trek and found the lake.

Thanks to Kathy’s excellent rain prediction skills we got back to the car just in time for the rain to start. it rained off and on the rest of the day, but not badly.

We had a great lunch at Blue Stag, a place with much game meat on the menu. It was great, especially the green salsa, and we met a nice baby. Fun shopping followed. It’s always better to shop with someone!

After going back to the condo and knitting a bunch, we walked in the rain to the Mexican restaurant close to the condo and ate and talked and talked. I just love catching up with old friends!

Two drinks, trying to wait out the rain.

More talking and knitting ensued back at the condo, and by the time I went to bed I was wiped out. I fell asleep blogging. I did re-read the first part, in case it wasn’t coherent.

Today I’m getting throat lozenges and a new toothbrush (so as not to reinfect myself, and laying low. I sound like I’ve been a smoker for 50 years.

The Motivation Inside

What motivates you?

I’m at an age where getting prestige at work or fame or fortune. My drive to achieve doesn’t motivate me. If it ever did, that probably wasn’t a good idea, in hindsight.

Enjoying a moment is better than striving for glory.

External achievements don’t motivate me, but internal ones do. As you’ve probably noticed by reading earlier blog entries, my drive is to learn more and more and improve my skill set. Doing this will help me become a better spouse, parent, relative, and friend. That’s what I want to be, the best me I can be.

I don’t know, but that’s probably the motivation of many of us, at least in some part. I don’t think I’m special or unique, just realistic about my internal drives.

Also I’m realistic about my limits. Like heights. Not my favorite.

How did I use my motivation today, you ask, hoping for photos of pretty scenery? Why I admit that I mostly worked today, but I did rest my brain a bit by just enjoying the beauty of a ski town in summer. Wow, flowers hold up well in this climate! Everywhere you look here you see flowers, dogs, water, and beautiful buildings.

I did stretch myself to improve my skills, though, with the encouragement of my local friend Cathy. She invited me to go on a bike ride, a long bike ride. Now, I used to ride a lot…over 20 years ago. But it’s hard/dangerous to ride a bicycle where I live now. So a long ride was a challenge for me.

Cathy convinced me that the whole ride from Vail to Frisco was downhill and I could do it. So, her husband Ken drove us to the trail head, and off we went.

Once I got my bike legs back, it was so much fun to zoom along the beautiful trail, which wound along Tenmile Creek, mostly in between lanes of Interstate 70. There were flowers, ponds, rocks, and forests to whiz by and enjoy. We only stopped a couple of times, so I couldn’t obsessively photograph everything.

We never hit any of the cute ground squirrels or tiny chipmunks we passed, and the moose I saw (yay) was far enough away that she posed no threat. But there she was! I saw beaver dams and some mallards in the ponds.

We stopped at an area where people make images in stones.

The best part was that I wasn’t hot and tired when we were done. I felt great! I highly recommend downhill cycling for the out of shape.

We had a nice dinner afterwards, too, even though I was dressed in exercise clothing (glad I brought some). Cathy said that’s how everyone in Summit County dresses, so it was fine. With a belly full of sushi, I enjoyed what was on television and can now crash again!

I’m all motivated for bright and early work again tomorrow.

What a Sap

What positive emotion do you feel most often?

Yeah, it’s sappy, and awe came in a close second, but I am positive that the positive emotion I feel most often is love. I’m always feeling love for something or someone. Not romantic hormonal love, but more the enduring emotional attachment kind of love.

Apache feels great love for his food dish, most days.

Today was farrier day, so I spent a long time with the horses again. I feel so much love for each of them (and Fifi), and it’s different for each, like a mother’s love for her children. Tarrin said she liked how I speak kindly to my horses…and I do get sorta blubbery around them. They may not understand my words, but they can discern my feelings.

Fiona wants you to know I laughed at her for stepping in her food bucket. She’d been picking it up and banging it against the gate like a prisoner asking out of jail.

Mabel got lots of love today, because she was the calmest she’s ever been getting her feet done, and she was able to stretch her legs out and put them on the stand, which means she looked pretty darned good for her by the time he was finished!

Of course, I don’t spend all my love on horses. I get all gooey over my favorite plants and birds, and of course, the dogs. They each hear how much I love them ALL the time. It just comes out. I even love Alfred at his most shedding time, which is now.

Clouded Skipper on a clump of Alfred hair that wafted across the lawn.

There’s just so much joy that the dogs bring! And they love us back, too.

And of course, I feel love for so many people, most of whom may not realize it. I feel all warm and fuzzy at friends’ Facebook posts and Instagrams. I just beam inside when listening to friends talk. They are all so special to me! What a sap.

Then there’s my spouse, who loves to take photos of me chewing. I love him anyway.

I know Lee loves me, because he drove me to the Austin airport today and dealt with the dreaded “Austin traffic.” But we got a cool upgraded room with a couch in it, so he’s happy (he sleeps better in couches or recliners than beds). The Hilton at the airport used to be the HQ building at Bergstrom Air Force Base, and is circular. I always enjoy staying here.

Bonus: I felt more love when I looked over at the bar after dinner and saw my former Austin hairdresser and his husband! That was such a happy moment. We got all caught up on each other’s lives and travels. It makes me feel like a native when I run into people like that!

Off to sleep so I can zip back to another time zone tomorrow! I’ll make sure to check for typos in the post title before publishing, unlike yesterday.

The Goal: Don’t Fall Down

How do you plan your goals?

As my husband and goal-fixated friends know, I’ve never been one of those people who have goals for every day, week, month, quarter, year, and decade. These folks derive much benefit from analyzing their progress and figuring out their strategies. I used to really admire my friend Russell and his goal-setting (and achieving) prowess. Goals really motivate most people.

Lee had a goal to rid the pasture of giant bur plants. Much progress was made.

I just can’t do it. I’m too much of a “live in the moment” person who changes focus according to my needs. Goals just seem like tedious looming deadlines. I don’t know what I plan to do in the next decade. Not die?

Green Heron’s goal was to be a high wire acrobat. Win! I’d never seen one on an electric wire before!

Oh of course there are things I’d like to do, like visit natural wonders, become a better naturalist, finish my temperature blanket for this year, etc. I’m just not into exact dates and step-by-step plans. Life is not a race with some prize at the end if we make our goals. We don’t all have to set goals in the same way. That’s fine.

I do admit to having short-term goals. One is to not fall off my horse. I succeeded today!

You haven’t fallen off me in years! But that one time was enough. Photo by Lee.

Poor Drew got spooked big time during my lesson (when he was already a little antsy). Tarrin’s golden baby horse got the zoomies when Drew was fixated on her lovely mother. I thought Drew was going to jump out of his skin as he bolted backwards. But I stayed on, and Tarrin grabbed him to help him calm down. He was hugging her with his neck and started licking her! Poor guy was scared. But I win! I held on. I’m glad I had on my sticky riding pants!

Only Drew photo I got today. He’s a little pudgy. (That’s my helmet on Apache’s saddle—he’s my beast of burden.)

This was another piece of evidence for something that had been on my mind. I’m wondering if he can hear well. We did a few informal tests this afternoon and…hmm. That could explain why he never looks up when I call him, and some of his reactions. We will have to investigate further. Did his mystery injury cause it? The big ole donkey hoof to the head he got?

Luckily, Apache seems just fine. We are making lots of straightness progress, we are re-learning the side pass, and I’m getting better at riding with one hand on the reins. He is so much happier these days. But he does seem to have to pee every time we head back to the RV after our lessons! He’s working his back muscles, apparently, and that makes you have to go.

It’s a natural bodily function. I sit up to relieve pressure.

My goal for Apache was to be able to ride him calmly and enjoy it. We are getting there! See I had a goal!