Ramblings – The Hermits' Rest

Obstacles

One of the rocks I painted paraphrases Marcus Aurelius, the Stoic philosopher. It’s an idea that I lean on when challenges arise: the obstacle is the way.

My spouse bases much of his ethical foundation on Stoicism, and I also find that way of thinking helpful. Life is a series of challenges that you face as best as you can, while acknowledging that you can’t solve every problem. That works.

But I also stop to relish the beauty on that path.

I got a little solar lamp as my white elephant gift at the Master Naturalist holiday event. I hung it up near the birding station. It’s a dim beacon, but it will show me the way when I want to sit outside at night (but it won’t confuse birds). It reiterates in my mind what I keep hearing from many sources, which is not to give up when there’s still a dim ray of hope, even if in the end, you fail. Now that made me think of Anne Frank and get all weepy.

Keep being the light of hope, kindness, and caring for those around you.

Scum, Reporting for Duty

I’ve recently learned that the current US President believes I am scum. And since he’s not a fan of lying (i.e. he seems to believe everything he says at least when it’s logorrhea-ing out of his mouth), it must be true. I think I’ll just own it.

There, I’m very blue and appear manic, though I don’t look like me.

I’m just gonna embrace my woke-i-tude even more than my usual hippie horse mom vibe. I bought shirts that shove my attitude right in people’s faces, both coming and going. I’m just gonna wear stuff like this every day. I do have sweatshirts, too.

The two-sided shirts are from dear person.co and took a long time to get here. The bottom one is from the Bitter Southerner. My other shirt from there says “radicalized by common decency.” Yeah. I’m that scary woke scum person who cares about everyone.

I’m glad I have attire to remind me to not forget my beliefs and morals. Just search for those companies or find your own radically caring slogan.

In less scummy news, I went back to work today and I was genuinely glad to see how my coworkers were doing and relieved at some good news from my perspective.

I had a late meeting so I did animal chores mid afternoon. That made the fowl happy. Darryl eats a lot, so I’ve increased their food quantity.

Apache made me laugh today. He rarely expresses strong opinions, but today he informed me in no uncertain terms that he would NOT go over our little hill on the right track. You see, Lee had started to add some dirt to it just before the front-end loader died, so there was fresh dirt on one end that hadn’t been smoothed down.

Apache was fine on left track, but when I changed directions, he pawed his feet. I asked him to keep going, so he walked to the top, turned to face me, then executed a perfect backup down the hill, stopping in the correct position to stretch his legs. It’s like he was saying he didn’t want to make a circle going down the new dirt side, but he’d happily skip to the backing up we usually do afterwards.

Here he’s demonstrating the stretch (okay, actually acting like he has to pee).

I said okay, we can do other stuff, so we trotted and cantered over poles and the cavaletti jump. Then some perfectly executed side passes on the ground were executed. I mean, I just asked once and he did it!

I went back to the hill with Apache and he enthusiastically trotted going left. But nope, not to the right. I convinced him to go once, then he decided he needed to be more firm about his wishes and gave a buck and a snort. I got the message and we finished with a little walk before I went back to work.

I think he may have believed he’d slip on the loose dirt. Or something. He’s a horse, after all.

Down We Go

My new game I play every day is to see how much further the current US President can sink into the pit of disgusting behaviors he’s creating. Honest, I’ve been trying to ignore it, but my body tells me that ain’t working.

I’m not going to list things that make me physically sick. You either have noticed them all or have some excuse that lets you put it aside so you can maintain your beliefs. We all do that.

Flower break! Henbit is up and starting to bloom. Good news for the chickens.

I’m just pissed off that it’s giving me anxiety pain and hurting others in much worse ways. I’m hoping the downward spiral breaks soon and we can live in only a semi-weird country, not a batshit crazy one.

I need to make another of these rocks for me.

At least it was a pleasant enough day and I got all my errands done, including lunch with our accountant. He’s a character, but then, my previous accountant was a Hare Krishna with bells on his office chair to remind him to chant.

Tomorrow will be another sunrise closer to the Winter Solstice. I’m gonna have to burn a big Yule log

Remember I still care for ALL of you. There should be room in our hearts for disagreement.

Cold and Chilled

It was quite cold and very windy today, the opposite of yesterday. My mood matched. News of mass shootings here and in Australia left a chill in my bones. This hateful behavior will never stop affecting me, and it’s baffling how many people act like it’s just a part of everyday life. I just keep thinking of the flickering but persistent light of hope, appropriate on the first night of Hanukkah.

It’s also the anniversary of my mother’s death, so long ago. Still in my darkest moments I want to call out for my mom. I’m certain I’m not alone in that.

In the unpleasant weather, the guys quickly finished the new chicken run, at least enough to use. I’ll see if they dare go out in it tomorrow. It’s supposed to be cold again, but sunny.

It’s just some chicken wire, easily moved.

Not just my fowl like the hen house when it’s cold. They are joined by many annoying house sparrows who like the heat lamp. I sure hope they don’t have any bird diseases. I can’t keep them out.

But there’s a little good news. The Cochins have started laying again. They sure choose strange times to go into production.

My Weird Way to Cut Down on Social Media

It’s only kind of weird, but it works for me the problem is that my phone thinks I look hours and hours at it, when, in fact, I’m not even near the phone. It’s hard to doomscroll if your phone is nowhere nearby and the computer you’re using is only connected to LinkedIn (and honestly, ten minutes is plenty to determine who’s been laid off lately).

I still enjoy social media, but do a quick Facebook check in the morning, play with my Finch self-care app for 20 minutes, see if I got any personal email, then walk away.

Also doing my nails creates at least an hour of phone-free time.

That’s because I leave the phone outside listening to birds once I have to stop birding with my own eyes and ears. The phone may think I’m staring at Merlin Bird ID, but no, I just check in periodically. Any texts or other messages just have to wait.

Today’s bird was this Ruby-crowned Kinglet, as photographed on the phone. blurry.

I can work undisturbed by my online social life except in breaks. That’s helped me from going down rabbit holes and letting myself get upset.

In the evenings, I read other people’s blogs and news sources that don’t try to get me all upset. This all works for me. I can still stay informed and keep up with friends without it consuming my day. This gives me time for horses, birds, domestic fowl, and wildflowers, not to mention friends and family!

She’s talking about us. We are domestic fowl.

So, my social media trick is to get your phone all busy doing something for you and ignore it for a good chunk of your day. It makes checking for messages and updates a fun interlude, not the whole day.

Morning fog on the window screen. It got very foggy this evening, too.

Today I enjoyed many things while the phone was ignored. I took some autumn photos, for one thing.

Pretty day! The yellow is a willow trees.

I watched a new run for the chickens and Connie get worked on. Connie was not impressed and tried to scare away the noisy dudes by gobbling and displaying her magnificent feathers. I didn’t even know hen turkeys could do that!

I also ended up with time to work with horses a bit longer than usual, so I picked out all the burs in Drew’s mane and tail. He was a true gentleman during the process. I think he’s feeling better.

In the evening Lee and I got a new coffeemaker, which is exactly like our previous one, only not worn out. We look forward to coffee tomorrow. I also got a slightly better toaster that should be less likely to burn my thick bread. These are our holiday gifts to each other.

We treated ourselves to dinner in a “real” restaurant and made our server very happy by forgiving him for not realizing we were his table. I had a magnificent beer and some salmon, which means I had a great Saturday with little phone time…until now, when I’m writing this.

Holidays Handled

When I had a nuclear family and when I had my children, I was one of those women who bought into the cultural norm of making my family happy for Christmas, just like my mom had done for me. She worked so hard with little money but much creativity.

Pretend there are cigarette ashes on the floor and this will be mom-like.

I fretted over decorations, presents, food, and such. I spent a lot of money on things I hoped would make people happy. Shoot, the year after my divorce, I gave my ex presents to set up a household (which he never used, but that’s another story). The point is I felt that I was showing my love through material things. And rather too much of it. I think it’s because I felt loved at Christmas as a child when I got my gifts. Not everyone else is me, though.

This aspect of my personality has been hard to mollify. Even when I saw gifts I’d worked hard to select never used, even when my children didn’t give me anything for birthdays, Valentines, or Christmas. But I finally worked through my “love language problem,” and ended the excess. Much backsliding has occurred in recent years, but since my sister and older son cut ties with us, my motivation to create good holidays has plummeted.

Now I can enjoy the parts of midwinter, the solstice, and the dark nights how I want to, with introspection and gratitude for what I do have, which is much.

It’s made this time of year much less stressful to no longer decorate the heck out of the house, spend hours looking for gifts, etc. I now enjoy spending time around the holidays with people who care about me and am fine without a big gathering. I enjoy going camping or staying in a cabin and receiving the gift of time with Lee, my son, and his partner.

For Yule, I’ve made gifts for the family that come from my heart. They can keep them, toss them, or whatever. I got joy from making the gifts and putting good intentions into them. That feels great. I’ve reached a good place of genuine good spirits and caring. No more grumpy Suna in a frenzy of materialistic capitalism.

This is idealized me as a happy angel with a grumpy angel trying to tempt me. I’m not sure how well I like the work of the “image playground.”

My hope is that each of you get the opportunity to do something that pleases YOU during the winter holidays. If you enjoy decorating, decorate! Or make cookies! Or buy great gifts! Or ponder your nativity scene and its meaning in your tradition. Just don’t fall too far into my trap of trying to make others happy.

Handling the holidays works best when everyone has some traditions to enjoy and time to share them with those who love and appreciate them.

A Bit of a Lull

I didn’t blog yesterday because it was just a normal day doing normal things. Today was similar. It’s been cooler, like normal December weather, but I have appropriate clothing.

And the ridiculously early sunsets are pretty.

I did have a brief walk this morning because I wanted to see what was going on next door. Our former ranch property is now unmistakably not ours. That’s a darned nice entry!

So, other than that I’ve worked, painted some rocks, crocheted the rest of November on my temperature blanket, picked up my new glasses that are now the correct prescription, and wow! I shortened my nails!

No rock photos. Some are gifts. All are rather amateurish. Instead, you can have a cute photo of Carlton being a circle dog. Lee’s lap is never empty when it’s chilly and rainy outside!

I’ll try to come up with something philosophical or some deep thoughts tomorrow. Heck, I can’t cut my nails and get new glasses every day to make for fascinating blogging, right? Maybe we should view it as good that I feel well enough and the world hasn’t upset me enough to make for more interesting blogging.

A dull day is like a flower in winter: welcome

Yes, good attitude, Suna! Lulls are just fine.

It’s Cold So It Must Be December

I realize we had an earlier cold snap, but the front that came through last night (all the way to Rockport/Fulton) looks like it wants to stick around. I can’t complain, because we got at least a little rain at the ranch (I will know more tomorrow). It looks like maybe more rain is coming to replenish the water table.

It rained last night, but wasn’t as windy at Goose Island. I was able to take one fairly pleasant walk that was only moderately cold. Since the wind was less, I could use Merlin, and identified two more life list birds! One I saw pretty well, a White-tailed Kite. The other was a Short-Billed Dowitcher, which I can’t tell from a Dunlin or Long-billed Curlew. I need to go back to the sanctuary in Port Aransas where they are all together so I can compare.

All sorts of fun birds were out, even a Palm Warbler and a very persistent Yellowthroat, so while I waited on IT to fix something at work, I went back to the pier. It was getting colder, but I enjoyed seeing some cannonball jellies, oystercatchers, very loud Caspian Terns, and so many loons. The highlight, though, was when I realized the slapping noises I heard were dozens of fish jumping out of the water! I’ve always enjoyed it since I was a kid watching mullets jump in the canals in South Florida.

After I got some work done, we drove home with no major issues (hurray) in light rain. Ooh, on our way out of the park, a gorgeous fox crossed the road in front of us, turned to look for a few seconds, then quietly disappeared into the brush. What a great farewell!

I had time once we got home to do my beginning-of-the-month tasks, like tallying the birds at the ranch for November. We had 110 species, which I find pretty darned impressive. I’ve slowed down with new species, which was only one. Of course, my mind is a blank…but you can see the list right here.

I still have to tally up the bird sanctuary list, which I hope to do tomorrow or at least later this week. I did bring the porch plants inside, just in case it freezes. Ah. It’s December!

My Weird Relationship with Screens

How do you manage screen time for yourself?

Look, I’ve been earning my pay looking at computer screens, well, since they were invented (though I did work as a copy editor and proofreader using pencil and paper for a while). And I was an early handheld device adopter—playing Bejeweled on my Palm Pilot was a great stress reliever during my divorce.

Red pencils. Proofreader tools. Photo from Pexels.

This is to say, I have a good bit of screen experience (of course I have had television since Lassie was on every Sunday). I can’t avoid computer screens as long as I have paid employment in my field of tech writing, but I can try to limit phone use. Hey! I could stop blogging on my phone! Yes! No. It’s fun.

I used one of these babies. Monochrome display! Photo from Pexels.

You’d think my nature hobbies would help me escape screens, but the phone comes with me to take all my photos. But, hooray for me, since I’ve taken to leaving my phone outside listening to birds on Merlin Bird ID, I can’t doom scroll for many hours. Weird but it works. Of course, the phone thinks I’m looking at is and racks up time that makes me look glued to the phone, but I’m not!

And of course I read a lot and do all those crafts. So I’m okay with my screen time. Oh, and I make sure not to open up my Finch self-care app more than 2-3 times a day. One can get sucked in.

Apparently I **have** used Finch every day since I got it, though.

My point? I don’t think looking at screens is a terrible problem for me. If I’m learning, earning money, interacting with friends, or seeing the beauty in the world, screens do me good. My area of caution is to not read or watch content designed to upset me or insult me. I read one or two posts a day from my incendiary friends (both left and right), then I just move on as soon as I see where content is headed.

That’s it. I just stop. Over generalizing about groups or factions? I keep moving. Mean? Skip. Blatantly wrong but not open to other viewpoints? No response. It works. Now I mostly see trees, horses, chickens, yarn, jokes, and for some reason makeup for “mature” skin (which I don’t wear). Just don’t engage unless you think you can accomplish something.

Enough of that. I would have shared how nice the spot we are staying in at Blanco State Park is, but by the time we figured out the latest issue with Seneca the motorhome and I finished working, it was dark. Ugh. The chassis battery is dead. We could recharge it by starting the generator, but that hasn’t worked for months. Have I mentioned that recreational vehicles are prone to breaking? Yes. It’s true.

So yay, we are camping with no air conditioning! So primitive! And no TV! (too dark to set up the system). No, we are just fine, other than the occasional acorn dropping on the roof.

Good Influencers

My last post mentioned that I didn’t want to do a lot of the self-promotion and marketing (and shilling for businesses) that stereotypical influencers do. I find it boring, repetitive, and fake.

Nonetheless, I know of a few people who make money from their online presence but avoid the influencer pitfalls. They manage to promote themselves while providing interesting or fun content, and genuinely give back more than they earn in subscriptions or however they earn. If I ever were someone with an adoring fan club, these would be my role models.

Here are three examples of people whose writing, photographs, and “brand” I enjoy. There are more, and I’ll mention them later when appropriate.

My favorite influencer is Franklin Habit, someone I’ve actually met because I took a class or two on knitting from him. He’s a creative knitter, builder of miniature houses, artist, and comic essayist. Reading about his life for the past many years has been a lot of fun. He can be sweet, generous, prickly, and sad all in one piece of writing. And he does NOT hesitate to say what he thinks is wrong in the world (often hilariously).

What I admire most in Habit, though, is his ability to share his life stories yet manage to reveal nothing whatsoever about his personal life. That takes skill. Even if you aren’t a knitter, you might enjoy his adventures in his adopted country, France, and his surprising hobbies. I happily give his Patreon account some money every month.

A newer favorite, who more obviously has a drive for marketing, is Misha from dontcrosssagayman. He’s “everyone’s gay best friend” (not mine, because I already had one before I found Misha). He loves selfies, sashays his way through Austin, Texas, and is very sweet to his adoring crowd of “besties” who really seem uplifted by him. Like Franklin Habit, he doesn’t hesitate to give his opinions and tsk-tsk folks who do him or others wrong. But he seems genuinely sweet and always looking for ways to be kind to others (in a sometimes self-promoting way). I find he gives me good ideas for good deeds and just knowing he’s out there flying his rainbow flag gives me hope for this world. At least he’s influencing for good.

Finally I want to encourage everyone to be influenced by Rev. Jim Rigby, who is the person who’d be my minister if I could do any organized religion again. His version of Christianity, which focuses on being like Jesus was, is admirable, and his analysis of current events is very thoughtful. He’s another one who gives me hope and encouragement to keep moving forward. I’m very jealous of my friends who get to go to his church in an Austin suburb. (note to all my Progressive Christian clergy friends: you all inspire me with your efforts to fight the tide of groups and institutions that are Christian in name but not deed.)

If Nature weren’t my church, I’d go here )they have other good leaders, too)

I’m done with influencers for a while. I just got an urge to figure out what I think of them. I guess I conclude that if someone has thousands of followers but is encouraging them to be better people, then I’m fine with them influencing.

Now for a funny photo of me for my dear Donita