daily life – Page 32 – The Hermits' Rest

I’m Inconsistent

Here’s an admission, one we probably can all relate to in our own ways. I can embrace two conflicting beliefs and feel fine about it.

I hope Carlton isn’t judging me for this.

I’ve always been quick to smugly point out cognitive dissonance in others when I spot it. It does make you feel like you’re intellectually superior, like you’d never do such a thing. But I bet you do.

I’m pretty sure Goldie IS judging me there from her recuperation spot.

Here’s my example. I’m not at all comfortable with violence. War disturbs me deeply, as does killing of other humans in other situations. I can’t fathom why my friends and neighbors want to arm themselves so they can be ready to kill at a moment’s notice. I’ve no tolerance for domestic violence. Yeah, quite the pacifist wimp, I know.

But today I watched three professional American football games enthusiastically, especially when the Dallas Cowboys were playing. I enjoy the strategy and athleticism of the game. But there’s a lot of hitting, pushing, falling, and hurting involved. Hmm. How on earth can I love football and hate violence?

There’s no good answer. Part of it is the culture I was raised in, which is a subset of American culture that lacks the gun worship, but has the sports enjoyment feature. It’s just how I ended up.

I’m a mix of values and beliefs I got from my parents, schools, mentors, and books. Photo from Pexels.

I could work on being more consistent. Alternatively, I could just live with it, just like all those Christians who hate people who look or talk differently, or the law and order folks who are fine with electing a lying criminal as their leader. Our minds work in mysterious ways. Asking humans to be logical and consistent is probably asking too much.

Go Cowboys.

Still Here!

I didn’t blog yesterday because I had no deep thoughts, but I’m still here and taking care of all the animals and myself.

I haven’t been able to do much with the horses, because my saddles are in south Texas. I loaned my trailer out for a weekend while I was in Colorado, but it’s still there thanks to the Covid. We probably should have road tripped this weekend to fetch it, but there’s a chance it might be back before my next lesson. You really can’t predict who’s gonna get sick at any time in our family, so you just roll with the changes.

Instead of road tripping, we sat in the porch all morning, watched some college football until the streaming got wonky (our satellite went out when I was gone and should get fixed Monday), and had dinner with our friend Martha.

Not what I ate, but I’m impressed with how neatly Apache eats. He had a pie slice shape left when I went to open his gate. On the other hand, Mabel immediately overturns her dish and eats off the ground.

We’re hoping the new restaurant lasts a while. They tend not to in the old 50s Cafe building. I had liver and onions, and there was enough left to feed Goldie her medicine in for a couple of days. Win!

The dogs are no worse so far. They both seem cheerful enough, though Goldie was off her feed for a while. Fingers are crossed.

Coping is what we need to practice now, and we are doing that around here. I need to go out and enjoy the morning now. It looks like the gale winds of yesterday have died down. Enjoy your Sunday.

Enjoy my new nails. They are more red with pink highlights in person.

Self-care-a-rama

Worrying about my sick dogs won’t help, so after getting them both to eat their medicine (Harvey eats anything and Goldie finally ate hers with chicken breast), I figured I’d better work on my own well being.

Work was a good distraction, especially if you enjoy rolling reorganizations. But I really leaned into (ooh, I finally used “lean in” on purpose) making a comfortable environment for myself. I haven’t been able to swim due to being on antibiotics and wanting to stay out of the sun, but I worked on making the pool area better by getting rid of two volunteer trees and more annoying nutsedge and spotted spurge. It was too windy to use herbicide, and besides, it doesn’t work on sedges.

The biggest improvement I made was to set up my outdoor workstation where I can keep my laptop and phone charged. My household member got us a bartered table with two chairs that’s perfect for my needs. The chairs are comfy and easy to clean.

Lee helped me get it perfectly in the middle of the back porch, where it’s always shady and there’s usually a pleasant breeze. It will get more sun in winter, I hope. At least I’ll be able to use it in three seasons.

Watching horses, birds, and cattle are really soothing for me and keep me centered. I’ll need that for the foreseeable future.

Apache points out that petting him is self care

Self care also means looking around and enjoying life around me. That was helped by discovering this beautiful new (to me) butterfly, the Common Mestra (Mestra amymone). It’s pretty on both sides. I got to watch it feeding on frog fruit for quite some time. I just found out from my friend Linda Jo that this butterfly hasn’t been recorded on iNaturalist since 2016!

There were also the usual flowers, fungi, and insects. I’m so glad there’s always something new.

One kind of self care I engaged in was getting the heck out of a potentially dangerous situation. I went to pick up a package from by the front gate, and heard a droning noise. Oh my gosh, it was another swarm of bees, only these weren’t all massed together. They were everywhere. I couldn’t tell what kind of bees they were nor if they were angry. I left after taking this picture. Zoom in and you’ll see all the insects!

Maybe Lee disturbed them when he mowed the roadside.

I also tried to take a nice walk in the woods to see the pond on the other side of the fence, but tiny and zippy mosquitoes chased me off. I understand why the cow that was glaring at me went swimming.

Between all the outdoor pampering and some great conversations with friends, I’m not too bad. At least the Covid symptoms are about gone.

Make That TWO Canine Concerns

It’s a pretty sad day over at the Hermits’ Rest. This morning I noticed Goldie was limping. Soon after, Lee pointed out a huge lump on her left front leg. What the heck?

Well, Lee was already planning to take Harvey in for his lump and official diagnosis, but he went over to Dr. Amy’s mobile clinic and asked them to come by when they were done in Cameron (not cheap, but better than trying to transport the two big dogs).

So, they showed up and the challenges of looking at our dogs commenced. Looking at Goldie was easy. She loves Kelly the vet tech and volunteered to be looked at, poked, and prodded by Amy, too. Then she happily trotted off to the truck to get weighed. We need more Goldies.

The bad news is that the lump is probably a mast-cell tumor. Yes, they can pop up that fast. Those are the bad ones. Dammit. She has some heavy-duty steroids and antibiotics to take to see if that will shrink it. She’s getting the treatment for anthrax. Intense. Of course she won’t eat it. Lee is working on her.

I’m picky. But I need to live, because Suna loves me.

It was harder to treat Harvey. He was all shivery and snappy. But with patience, Kelly got him muzzled and Amy was able to palpate his lump. Thankfully, it felt full of fluid, not bad things. It is the least of his worries.

We’re never coming back down (the toilet paper is used to block off the stairs).

The blood work on Harvey came back really bad. All his liver levels are awful, which means liver cancer. That’s the last thing our family needs, more of that. His abdomen is swelling, too. We discussed options and decided to try a medication that can help in dogs, Denamarin. It’s helped Pickle, Anita’s dog. I don’t know that it can do much, but it will be less traumatic than taking him somewhere to get scanned, which would just tell us what we already know. Sniff.

I’m still happy, other than when vet people are around.

A funny thing or two. We were all concerned he was losing hair. Well, he isn’t. Harvey had been shaved last week to remove a cyst, and the other smooth patch was from something else they did last week that Lee didn’t remember or know about. Also, Carlton was hilarious. He ran to greet them when they came in, but when he saw who it was, his tail went between his legs and his hair stood on end. Whoa, he is not fond of veterinarians.

I’ll just stay back here behind Harvey. He’ll protect me.

Were we done yet? No. Lee’s brother had asked if Dr. Amy had come to trim Vlassic’s toenails. No, she had not. No one wants to trim his toenails. He has gotten worse and worse about it as he ages, but the nails hurt Jim. So, they said they’d give it a try, as the rain began to pour.

This went very badly. Kelly tried to just hold Vlassic, but he acted like he was being murdered. It was horrific. He bit and screamed until Amy was able to stick a needle in him. They covered him in a towel until he settled. I don’t think we will let them try without sedation again, to save on potential human injuries. What an embarrassment.

Oh, and I forgot the icing on the cake: when Vlassic was squealing, Penney ran out through the gate and tried to take matters into her own hands. She started biting his butt! So we had to remove her and Goldie both. They were upset, of course.

Was I a good dog? Well, at least I was a wet dog!

We are just going to take things one day at a time now. At least horses are doing ok at the moment. I spent a lot of time after the rain stopped just walking around and breathing. I’m glad I have some centering tools to help me deal with this stuff.

And to top it all off there was another school shooting murder spree. Why do we keep giving unstable people access to assault weapons?

Canine Concern

Life has its ups and downs, and while I don’t talk about my family other than Lee anymore, I could use some good thoughts for our dog, Harvey. Note: I’m not asking for armchair veterinary advice, just sharing concerns.

I’m fine, thanks for asking, says Penney.

Harvey is our oldest dog now, and he’s about 9. I’m bad with dates, but he was a puppy on our first Thanksgiving in this house, which Facebook tells me was 2015. He had a very hard time when young, culminating with being dumped and shot at the house where our friend Mandi now lives. His name was Starvey Harvey because he was skin and bones with cuts and the hole in him. His ribs are still funny.

He’s a strange but lovable guy with short wiry hair and stocky build. He looks like a Doberman or Rottweiler mix, but not a fancy one. He’s grumpy, too, and uses his growl to express displeasure at anything, often for no good reason. It’s just how he talks.

He’s been our good buddy through thick and thin, though, and really loves his people. In return, we pay his vet bills from getting into scrapes, especially the one time he made Goldie mad. He no longer tries to boss her around, though if he snarks too much at another dog, she’ll stop him. She has a large jaw.

Anyway, recently something has gone wrong with him. I noticed he was having trouble going down the stairs and was acting uncoordinated. I noticed his ear m, eye, and jowl were drooping on the right side. I thought maybe he had a stroke.

Lee took him to the vet (he did not enjoy the car ride to Mexia, where the vet was that day. She gave him medicine to see if it was an inner ear issue or he’d hurt his back.

When he didn’t improve (causing Lee to sleep downstairs when I was away, to prevent him from coming upstairs), she did bloodwork. The idea was maybe it was his thyroid. The results came back yesterday to reveal liver issues instead.

Bald spot on his neck. There’s also one behind the droopy ear.

In the meantime, Harvey has lost a couple of big patches of hair. He didn’t rub it off; it just fell out. And yesterday we saw a big bump on his leg that made it hard to walk. Geez, poor guy.

So, back to the vet he goes tomorrow. Lee will have her look at the new symptoms, but she will probably refer him to a specialist in College Station (that’s the name of the town where Texas A&M University is, for non-local readers).

We hope he has something treatable! He’s still a happy dude with his characteristic immense appetite. He is doing better with stairs the past day or two, but we still just let him up at night, then block the stairs off once he gets down. That will minimize the strain.

All other dogs are fine. It’s Alfred’s shedding season, so I’m doing a lot of plucking. Penney and Carlton are playing a lot, and Goldie is guarding me from those pesky cows and calves.

Results of a few minutes of Alfred plucking.

I’ll update on Harvey tomorrow! No matter what, he knows he is loved.

Still Droopy

I’m still feeling worn out so I’ll just share some pretty and cute photos for the day and share weighty matters tomorrow. The cutest thing I saw today was this gorgeous new calf. It’s seal brown or gray.

Its mama loves it a lot. It has a tiny Snow White buddy. I hope they stay in the pasture behind us for a while.

I enjoyed the birds a lot, even the Loggerhead Shrikes, who are the current loud birds in the group. There was also a persistent Blue Grosbeak, so I’ve got that sound down now.

The late summer flowers are ramping up. I’m just waiting for the asters. And my traveling trick worked: it’s not so hot now and it’s raining!

The horses were happy to get their food and supplements today, too. And that’s enough for this worn out nature lover.

What a Sap

What positive emotion do you feel most often?

Yeah, it’s sappy, and awe came in a close second, but I am positive that the positive emotion I feel most often is love. I’m always feeling love for something or someone. Not romantic hormonal love, but more the enduring emotional attachment kind of love.

Apache feels great love for his food dish, most days.

Today was farrier day, so I spent a long time with the horses again. I feel so much love for each of them (and Fifi), and it’s different for each, like a mother’s love for her children. Tarrin said she liked how I speak kindly to my horses…and I do get sorta blubbery around them. They may not understand my words, but they can discern my feelings.

Fiona wants you to know I laughed at her for stepping in her food bucket. She’d been picking it up and banging it against the gate like a prisoner asking out of jail.

Mabel got lots of love today, because she was the calmest she’s ever been getting her feet done, and she was able to stretch her legs out and put them on the stand, which means she looked pretty darned good for her by the time he was finished!

Of course, I don’t spend all my love on horses. I get all gooey over my favorite plants and birds, and of course, the dogs. They each hear how much I love them ALL the time. It just comes out. I even love Alfred at his most shedding time, which is now.

Clouded Skipper on a clump of Alfred hair that wafted across the lawn.

There’s just so much joy that the dogs bring! And they love us back, too.

And of course, I feel love for so many people, most of whom may not realize it. I feel all warm and fuzzy at friends’ Facebook posts and Instagrams. I just beam inside when listening to friends talk. They are all so special to me! What a sap.

Then there’s my spouse, who loves to take photos of me chewing. I love him anyway.

I know Lee loves me, because he drove me to the Austin airport today and dealt with the dreaded “Austin traffic.” But we got a cool upgraded room with a couch in it, so he’s happy (he sleeps better in couches or recliners than beds). The Hilton at the airport used to be the HQ building at Bergstrom Air Force Base, and is circular. I always enjoy staying here.

Bonus: I felt more love when I looked over at the bar after dinner and saw my former Austin hairdresser and his husband! That was such a happy moment. We got all caught up on each other’s lives and travels. It makes me feel like a native when I run into people like that!

Off to sleep so I can zip back to another time zone tomorrow! I’ll make sure to check for typos in the post title before publishing, unlike yesterday.

The Goal: Don’t Fall Down

How do you plan your goals?

As my husband and goal-fixated friends know, I’ve never been one of those people who have goals for every day, week, month, quarter, year, and decade. These folks derive much benefit from analyzing their progress and figuring out their strategies. I used to really admire my friend Russell and his goal-setting (and achieving) prowess. Goals really motivate most people.

Lee had a goal to rid the pasture of giant bur plants. Much progress was made.

I just can’t do it. I’m too much of a “live in the moment” person who changes focus according to my needs. Goals just seem like tedious looming deadlines. I don’t know what I plan to do in the next decade. Not die?

Green Heron’s goal was to be a high wire acrobat. Win! I’d never seen one on an electric wire before!

Oh of course there are things I’d like to do, like visit natural wonders, become a better naturalist, finish my temperature blanket for this year, etc. I’m just not into exact dates and step-by-step plans. Life is not a race with some prize at the end if we make our goals. We don’t all have to set goals in the same way. That’s fine.

I do admit to having short-term goals. One is to not fall off my horse. I succeeded today!

You haven’t fallen off me in years! But that one time was enough. Photo by Lee.

Poor Drew got spooked big time during my lesson (when he was already a little antsy). Tarrin’s golden baby horse got the zoomies when Drew was fixated on her lovely mother. I thought Drew was going to jump out of his skin as he bolted backwards. But I stayed on, and Tarrin grabbed him to help him calm down. He was hugging her with his neck and started licking her! Poor guy was scared. But I win! I held on. I’m glad I had on my sticky riding pants!

Only Drew photo I got today. He’s a little pudgy. (That’s my helmet on Apache’s saddle—he’s my beast of burden.)

This was another piece of evidence for something that had been on my mind. I’m wondering if he can hear well. We did a few informal tests this afternoon and…hmm. That could explain why he never looks up when I call him, and some of his reactions. We will have to investigate further. Did his mystery injury cause it? The big ole donkey hoof to the head he got?

Luckily, Apache seems just fine. We are making lots of straightness progress, we are re-learning the side pass, and I’m getting better at riding with one hand on the reins. He is so much happier these days. But he does seem to have to pee every time we head back to the RV after our lessons! He’s working his back muscles, apparently, and that makes you have to go.

It’s a natural bodily function. I sit up to relieve pressure.

My goal for Apache was to be able to ride him calmly and enjoy it. We are getting there! See I had a goal!

Mom! That picture was embarrassing! Photo by Lee.

The Bluebird of Peace

What brings you peace?

Are you wondering if my answer to this question will surprise you? Ha, the answer will be in the negative, because I’ve been harping on this topic since this blog began! Being outside in nature brings me peace, and if I’m unable to be surrounded by trees, flowers, insects, and birds, I start feeling anxious and uncomfortable.

Some nature is rather vibrant, but still good for the soul (Milam Wildscape scene)

I can easily meditate outside (unless there are flies, mosquitoes, or fire ants), which keeps me centered and able to enjoy fleeting moments of joy.

An Althea flower is perfect to fix your gaze on!

We experienced one of those moments this afternoon, by the way, which explains the title of this post. Lee and I were sitting by the pool as I recovered from overheating with the horses, yet again. He said, “Look over there!” Pointing to the pool house. Sure enough, a make and female bluebird were sitting on the porch posts.

This is from last week, but they do all look alike.

As we watched, the male flew right over to us and landed on a yucca flower stalk. He sang a few notes, showed us his beautiful feathers, then flew over to the garage, singing away.

Approximation. I don’t take my phone in the pool. Photo from Pexels.

Then the female came and stood at the other end of the pool. Then slowly and carefully she hopped closer and closer, then got a nice, long drink (we don’t have many chemicals in our pool). She was so graceful! At last, the rest of the gang flew up and they all left.

Our bird hopped all the way in, too (from Pexels)

Bluebirds have always been the dream bird for me, I guess because they didn’t live near me for most of my life. I envied people who got to see them. I remember where I was in Illinois when I saw one at last. I was thrilled.

I see them squabbling at Tarrin’s. Maybe someday here! (from Pexels).

They’ve been near the ranch since I’ve lived here, and I get to see lots of them at Tarrin’s, but this is the first year I’ve heard and seen them near our house. To have them coming near us was a great joy.

With all the woodpecker holes we’ve been getting built in the past few years, I’m not surprised that Eastern Bluebirds and Purple Martins have begun hanging around here. We have cavities for them to nest in. Thanks, woodpeckers!

And knowing that we’re supporting endangered birds on our property makes me so happy and peaceful. It’s like we’re contributing to the planet.

Not a Sales Person, But

If you were going to open up a shop, what would you sell?

I’d sell all my yarn stash, which would take quite a while, and offer knitting and crochet lessons. It would be a fun little pop-up store and I wouldn’t have to worry about maintaining inventory and paying sales taxes except once. I really have no interest in owning a shop. I enjoy interacting with people, organizing, and decorating, but not accounting.

Some nice, organized yarn. Photo from Pexels.

So, that’s not gonna happen but at least it gave me a topic, since much of my day was fairly full. At least I feel better. When I woke up I felt awful, but it must have been all those anti-shingles dispersing. I’m normal other than lingering arm soreness.

I managed a quick walk and saw this Spicebush Swallowtail.

It was very humid, so the heat felt hotter, and I decided to skip an activity in the blazing sun this morning. Instead, I went to the new bird station Master Naturalist project to take my August bird inventory there. At least I could do that in the shade.

I had a pleasant time and saw or heard 17 birds. There is a new water feature there, with water coming down a chain into a bird bath. On the chain I got to watch a juvenile Painted Bunting having a nice drink. I didn’t figure out what it was until I got home and looked it up.

There were also juvenile cardinals out and about, and one did some fine snacking right near me. Birds ignore you if you sit still long enough!

In fact, Blue-gray Gnatcatchers were bold enough to sit on the tree branch closest to me as if to inquire whether I had any gnats for them. They are so pretty.

No gnatcatcher photos, but here are the cool furniture pieces that got donated.

I’m not going to go on and on, since I already wrote a blog post for the Master Naturalist blog this afternoon. But I enjoyed seeing so many birds flitting around, plus the chickens, guineas, and turkeys are fun, too.

Old live oak tree near the birding station

I’m glad I was feeling well enough to get horse supplies afterwards, since Dusty was out of his feed. Lifting 60-pound bags of food and salt got my weight-bearing exercise quota in, too. I’m sure the horses didn’t mind that I went swimming rather than riding, because I was I overheated!

Cattle were hot, too, but it didn’t phase the Great Blue Heron.

Dull but productive day, for sure, but since I’ll be traveling next Saturday, I enjoyed the chores and everyday duties! May tomorrow also be average!

Enjoy your weekend like this Eastern pond hawk.