Sue Ann (Suna) Kendall

The Circle of Life – Not Fun

Warning: If the circle of life doesn’t go over well with you, skip this one.

I’m sort of sensitive, as you may have figured out, and while I have a realistic view of life and death, I’m still vulnerable to caring about the life around me.

So, last Thursday, when I went to get in my car to go to my Master Naturalist meeting, I heard strange noises in the garage. I wondered what the heck my little dachshund mix, Vlassic, could be doing back in the tool area. I called out to him, and heard “grr” in response.

I carefully approached the work area, where some things had been pushed close together to make it easier for my brother-in-law to get around with his walker. Lo and behold, something was wedged in the space between the work bench and the shed. It was not Vlassic.

It was big and gray. Was it a hog? A cattle dog? A coyote? Yes, it was a coyote. A very sad and scared coyote. I obviously could not help it. It was in pain and could hurt me. So, I ran in and told Lee. He said to go to my meeting and he’d help it get out.

He did that, and saw that it was badly injured, but no one could catch it (a wild animal) to take it anywhere for rehab. We were pretty sad about the poor thing. I admit that I cried.

The guys saw it go into the pond a couple of times, then run off after Alfred OPENED THE GATE and confronted it. Yes, Alfred can open the gate, he just chooses not to. What a great guard dog.

So, all weekend we’ve been wondering about the coyote. This morning I saw about twenty turkey vultures gathered in the pasture by the road next to the house. Was it the coyote?

No, it was a young possum that had gotten hit by a car. I probably over-reacted, but I was sad, because I am pretty sure I saw it combing home Thursday night, snacking away on the side of the road. I’m fond of possums.

Sent good thoughts to this guy, too. One of the weird things I do it say a little “prayer” or affirmation every time I see an animal that was hit by a car. They deserve good thoughts.

Then, this afternoon, I got one of those weird feelings like I should go out behind the house and check for things. I found a beautiful milkweed plant. I kept walking, because I saw a weird “root” in the pond. I’d never seen it before, and I pretty much know what trees are in there, even after the winter storms.

Sigh, it was the coyote. What drove it into the pond? I don’t know. But it turns out it must have been run over by a car. The poor dear must have been trying to end its pain.

The pond brings peace in many ways, even to animals in pain.

Lee and I are both relieved that our coyote neighbor is out of its pain, because we sure felt bad that were were unable to help it or put it out of its pain. Circle of Life. Ugh.

Life’s a mystery, full of joy and sadness.

Living our in the country exposes you to to the beauty and the struggles in nature. All you can do is observe and do your best. I gave our coyote neighbor a flower and said what passes for a prayer for it.

I’m glad I found it, because it could have messed up the pond by decaying in there. Now it is out (I didn’t do it) and it can feed other beings and the circle life will continue.

It’s actually been an okay weekend, other than pondering life and death. I just had to write this out, because I need to stop processing and get some closure. Sharing the story helps the coyote live on in my memory and the memory of others. That makes it immortal!

Super Fun Nature Time at Mother Neff Park

I’ve been sorta down about nature and her ways, so I haven’t been writing much (I’ll talk about it eventually). But today’s Master Naturalist field trip to Mother Neff State Park gave me so many hours of fun that I must share!

Some of our group at the park headquarters.

We carpooled, and I was impressed to fit five people in my new car successfully. It’s hard to feel down with my Master Naturalist lady friends. I just love all the stories about Cameron, Rockdale, and people I never heard of before but wish I could have known. We ended up with a good sized group for a walk on the trails with a nice young intern.

I have to admit that I was not a very good participant in the guided walk. My partner in crime, Linda Jo, and I could not keep ourselves from stopping every few steps to look at plants or insects. That was way more interesting to us than the history of the Civilian Conservation Corps, or whatever. When you are with the iNaturalist Queen, you make observations, so I did!

Linda Jo and I had an absolute BLAST looking at all the plants we found. Between the two of us, we found interesting new-to-us plants and some rare things. It’s so much better doing this stuff with others, as I learned on that warbler walk a couple of weeks ago. Linda Jo said I made a great spotter.

We did enjoy some of the interesting spots along the trail, of course. There was a lovely pond, a big cave, and a tower built by the CCC. A lot of climbing up and down was involved, so we got tired, but it was “a good kind of tired.” I’m glad to have gone, since we missed all this part of the park when Lee and I were there before.

I did want to see the trail we walked last time, around Christmas, but everyone was tired. So, Linda Jo and I just walked a little bit of it. We didn’t need to go far to find all sorts of interesting plants. We were like little kids at Christmas, just about giddy with all our findings. I found a most gorgeous milkweed that neither of us had ever seen before, star milkweed. Then we found some phlox I’d never seen before, golden-eyed phlox. and there was yet another kind of paintbrush!

And there was more. The other folks said they could hear us calling out to each other when we found something. I can’t imagine having a better time doing something I love!

After I reluctantly let the others leave, we had even more fun at lunch, when we went to a very good restaurant on Lake Belton (Dead Fish Grill?). It was quite big, and we were able to eat outside but under cover. All the food looked good, as was my rainbow trout.

There were a few little incidents, but for the most part, everyone had a blast and learned a great deal. My only complaint is I got home too late to ride horses. That’s really not the end of the world, because tomorrow will be another beautiful day, just like today was.

That’s a yellow crescent blister beetle.

I’m so glad to have a community of like-minded folks to hang out with on occasion!

A Positive Change

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

Since today has been pretty rough, I think I’ll just answer the daily blogging prompt. It is the perfect time to remind myself of the positive changes I’ve made in the past couple of years. The prompt asked for one, but I’ll share a couple. I’m quite proud of how much “personal growth” I’ve engaged in. It’s certainly making my “twilight years” more pleasant.

I made a new friend today, a hackberry emperor butterfly who sat on my arm for a long time. I enjoyed watching its proboscis.

The first positive change I’ve made is the most important. I figured out how to end the constant stream of negative self talk that had accompanied me my entire life. Looking back, I can see that I was always anxious and always felt like I could not please anyone, especially myself.

I’m not “cured” (everyone has down moments or days), but I’m so much better. I face each day in happy anticipation of enjoying beauty, learning new things, and contributing to the good in the world. I’m a better person for that!

I’m grateful to the support of my long-time therapist, my friends, and supportive family members as I stumbled through this process.

I found this particular beautiful thing in a parking lot.

The second thing I’ve done that has positively influenced my life is taking risks. Now, I’m not talking about skydiving or truly risky behaviors, but I’ve tried many new things and lived. Many of the things I’ve done with the horses are things I’d have hesitated to try earlier in my life. Good thing I listen to my encouraging trainer.

And of course, I always have a supportive donkey at my side. She’s usually just that close when I’m in the pasture.

The third thing is a work in progress. I’m way better about it, but I still slip into old patterns here. I am working to stop caring so much about what other people think of me and trying to get people to like me. This has been a long, hard road, but wow am I better now!

It all came to a head when I broke down and started crying and asked my neighbor to like me, because I wanted to remain his friend. He looked at me like I had three heads. Upon reflection I concluded that my life won’t be much different at all without him in my life and that caring about what he says about me would only make my life less serene. I’m just fine now and can just smile and be pleasant without worrying about whether I’m offending or providing gossip fodder.

I am not worried about what the cattle and cattle egrets think about the humans on the other side of the fence.

That’s because I’ve just about given up on caring what people think about me or say about me. I know who I am, and it’s not my job to explain myself to people who don’t care to take the time to get to know me or my perspective. I’m going to try to be kind and open to others’ perspectives, but not spend my time trying to present my ideas unless requested.

Goldie has the right idea: just enjoy the moment.

That’s so freeing! I have so many more opportunities to find peace and joy now that I let myself be whoever I am and like that person.

Such hard work. And still lots more to work on. But positive change is worth it.

I Am Impressed by the Office and Now I Can See It

Today was long but fun. I left last night to go to scenic Round Rock, Texas, so I could visit the Mother Ship of Dell Technologies. I worked there before. It’s where I met Lee!

After a night at a Hampton Inn that was not the best in its genre but was okay because it had no barking dogs, I entered the iconic Round Rock 1 building. And I was blown away.

They made good use of the pandemic off time by completely renovating the building to make it less of a cubicle farm and more of a place people would like to work. Even me!

I didn’t take many pictures, since it’s a workplace, but I really liked the way workstation groupings were interspersed with seating areas, brainstorming places, and snack stations. It is a lot quieter, too, thanks to really attractive heavy felt hanging dividers. The planners did so well!

I was there to finally meet some members of the team I work with. It was gratifying to meet my boss, Bob, and some of the folks I see in Zoom weekly. They all seemed pretty happy, too. Note: you can’t tell how tall a person is on Zoom—I was surprised by a couple folks. We had a very decent lunch in the new cafeteria, once we found the stairs.

Next we did our weekly staff meeting in a Zoom Room where the technology appeared much better than the ones at my last place of employment. We geeked out happily when we saw that the camera both showed everyone in the room AND a head shot of each person around the table, along with the virtual attendees. That’s pretty cool.

My headphones stopped letting me hear others talk, so I got to use a little meeting room for my last meeting. How fancy! Speaking of fancy, lots of the good number of folks who were there had actual work clothes on. Glad I dressed up.

That takes me to seeing things. My glasses came in, so I picked them up on the way home. I’m wearing the most controversial pair above. They are a unique shape, and wireframe, not like my usual ones. They sure are good for vision! I also love the new computer glasses, which are more “Suna.”

I had a third pair (they were all 50% off) but they arrived all wonky, so the optician is sending them back to be redone. That’s the nice part about going to a real specialist. They do quality control.

Since I have my prescription and had credit at EyeBuy Direct, I got two pair from there, and they also arrived today. The pair above has silver foil in it. I like the size a lot. I was happy to find the prescription was good on them and they fit. They look more like my usual weird picks. But it goes with my hair. And the other ones are more subtle.

You can’t really see that the frames have blue, purple, and pink in them, but it’s there. I was just happy to find a modern large frame that didn’t dwarf my wrinkly old face. And they are also comfortable and focus right. Maybe it’s because I got the higher quality progressive lenses.

I got all these good glasses for really reasonable prices, so I’m set. I can sure SEE better now. But I’m tired. After all the meetings, taking longer than expected at the glasses place (I let someone go ahead of me, then mine had to be processed), and doing my horse chores, I’m zonked. Hey, 7 am meeting tomorrow! But at least it’s from home!

Technology Is My Friend

I’m getting tired of toting two laptops wherever I go. It really makes my computer backpack heavy! And it seems silly to bring my personal laptop everywhere I go, when all I really want to do is blog, check email in case there’s a message from a human on it, read social media, and search for stuff. I can do all that on the phone.

The sky was absolutely glorious this morning. Worth waking up to!

I just solved that problem by finally getting a new keyboard that will attach to either my laptop OR my phone. As a matter of fact, I’m blogging on it now! That pleases me very much, because, as an old person, I type way faster than I can use a phone for entering text. I just haven’t gotten the hang of using my thumbs, or whatever it is the quick people do.

The latest new flower is the silverleaf horse nettle, which will bloom all summer long.

I got a little Logitech keyboard K585. It lets you switch between a laptop and a phone with relative ease (once you figure out how to set it up). The computer was easy, once I realized I had to turn the keyboard off and on again to connect and figured out that my USB unifying receiver didn’t like to share.

Look at it, editing this post right here. This shows how grungy my trackpad is.

The phone was harder, because even though I pressed the button to set up the second device and turned Bluetooth on, there were no instructions for entering the magical pairing number on the keyboard. I kept entering the numbers and nothing happened. About the fifth time, I just pressed the Enter key when I was finished, and sure enough, it worked. I wished the instructions had SAID to press Enter.

Now I’m a happy keyboarder. I like blogging on the phone, because I can upload photos straight from my camera images rather than putting them in the media library from the phone and then accessing them on the laptop.

My computer bag will be much lighter tonight when I go to Round Rock so I can work at Dell HQ tomorrow. I’ll get to meet some of my coworkers for the first time, AND when I’m done with work, I can pick up my much-needed new glasses. That will save me a separate three-hour trip. I’m a winner all around.

The only problem will be that I can’t put Apache away for the daylight hours tomorrow, which I’m trying to do to help his inflammation. Fingers crossed I can get someone both willing and able to do it for me. By the way, he is displeased. I thought it was really sweet of Drew to hang out with him when I first put Apache in there after his morning exercise.

Very few seconds after this scene of companionship the tussling began. In the photos it looks like Apache is going after Drew, but in reality, Drew started after Apache’s sore back. I realize the medication has honey in it, but I don’t think it’s actually tasty, due to other ingredients. But, Droodles will be Droodles!

Excellent views of Apache’s teeth and swollen lymph nodes.

Thanks for all the good thoughts headed toward my family. We appreciate it very much. There’s always something going on around here.

PS: If you read the blog on WordPress or the Web, you’ll notice I took the ads off. I was making a small amount of money from them, but I got reports that icky phishing and scammy kinds of ads were appearing, so I decided to be kind to my readers and dump that stuff. You’re welcome. Let me know if there are any other oddities popping up, or if the ads persist.

One or More Seasonal Miracles

What an interesting day it’s been! Interesting animal health news abounded, and animals impressed me, too. I’m just going to start with the actual seasonal miracle. Well, you may recall me saying we’d lost our hen, Betty, the Americauna who laid light brown eggs. I said that because when I checked on her between rain storms, she was lifelessly laying in a puddle.

I was reminded that life is as ephemeral as a dandelion puff.

I didn’t put her in a plastic bag to be disposed of, because of the rain. Next time I checked, I realized she was still alive, though she hadn’t moved. Yesterday, when I did my evening check, she’d moved. What?

Birds are mysterious. Ask any swallow. They are weird, like me. So swoopy.

This morning when I went in, she’d moved again, and I saw her move around. I mentioned to someone that I could swear she was actually better. But how? She was really looking bad for a few days, and was soaked. Nonetheless, when I got home from horse training today, after being given up for dead for three days, there was Betty.

So, her name is Not Dead Betty from now on. Who knows what was wrong? Did she have a virus? An impacted egg? A cold? I just cannot believe this miracle of rebirth. How seasonal!

Take a break to enjoy a bee so engorged with pollen that it was acting inebriated. I tapped the flower and it finally drug itself out of the pollen paradise.

So, What Else?

Well, there’s good news and bad news in the horse department.

Good: I was able to get Drew groomed today, with just a few clods of dirt left in his mane. He’s all soft and smooth now.
Bad: Apache seemed ok in grooming, but when we got to Tarrin’s, his back was all bloody. Drew was biting him in the trailer. No wonder the trailer was rocking all the way there (which took extra long, of course, thanks to having to get gas, hitting every traffic light, AND being blocked by a train again.)
Bad: Apache seems to be all inflamed for some reason. His lymph nodes are all puffy. Tarrin thinks it’s allergies from all the new rich grass and pollen. He gets to stay in the pens during the day for a while to work on it, and he will need lots of exercise (that’s good).
Good: Drew was amazingly better at this week’s lesson, even with no riding in the past week. It was like watching a different horse, and riding him was actually fun! That was a miracle to me. Both Tarrin and I needed positive horse experiences today, so hooray.

His back did NOT look like that when he got into the trailer

I was relieved that Drew was doing so well today and paying attention to me so well. I am equally concerned that Apache is having his issues flaring up. I hope we have caught the inflammation in time to get him back on track. When one of your animals is sick, it’s like your child is ill. I’ll just hug on him and dote on him and let him eat hay all day.

We just all need to sit outside and breathe a while.

There were all sorts of other things going on here, none of which are my stories to tell, but I’m glad we all have each other to support one another around here. If you have any to spare, send vibes out to my family, okay?

It’s spring in Texas. Those of us not allergic can just enjoy the green grass, blooming flowers, and changing weather.

Success and Failure: Two Sunday Projects

This morning I set out to see how the flowers and insects are doing here at the Hermits’ Rest. I needed some Nature Time and wanted to see if I could locate and dwarf blue-eyed grass, winecups, or Texas baby blue eyes. I knew they should be up by now.

At first I just found old friends and tiny wasps.

I enjoyed walking on our property all the way to the creek and back. The bluebonnets and paintbrush plants are going to seed, but there’s lots of other plants to see.

It seemed like almost every flower had an insect or two getting nectar or pollen (or eating it). It was a lot of fun to observe and later to try to identify what I saw.

I was interested in seeing what’s new, and sure enough, I eventually found all the plants I sought. The little blue eyed grass was easy to find along the driveway, now that it’s dried up a little.

Winecups were hiding in my horse playground, but a new patch appeared near the chicken house. This flower also hosted many insects.

The Texas baby blue eyes were harder to find, since my old patch got plowed over last year. But, when I was gazing at the far end of Walker’s Creek, I looked on the shore, and there they were. Later I finally saw some in our woods. I love these flowers, because they were my introduction to Texas wildflowers when I saw them at McKinney Falls State Park the first spring I was here.

I was happy I found the flowers I wanted. There were also SO many butterflies, many of which I photographed. Not shown are the variegated fritillary, spicewood swallowtail, and tiny sulphur.

I found a lot of new or interesting bugs and plants, especially when I took my friends Anita and Martha out to look at plants while Easter dinner was cooking. Here are highlights.

It really was a great plant day, and I really enjoyed sharing observations with friends. I left my phone in the car when I went over to Sara’s to get some leafy greens, but we had the best time just observing the flowers and insects in the pasture next to her house. There was so much clover in the field that we stood there blissfully inhaling its spicy scent. Ahh.

I made the pak choi she gave me into a delicious side dish (mostly Kathleen did it), so that was FRESH.

Anyway, the time with friends was so nice, as the afternoon sun made the people, the dogs, and the flowers grow.

So, What’s the Failure?

Well…I had this nutty idea that I was going to ride the horses today, or else! I guess “else” ensued.

First I got my precious boy, Droodles. I quickly realized that he resembled a chocolate-covered Easter treat. There was a dried layer of clay mud over much of his surface area.

It had dried to where it could be future pottery.

I figured I’d just curry comb it out. Nope. I did get a lot off but I could tell it hurt him and was pulling out hair. I tried to get mud out of his tail, and hairs broke off. Oops. I realized I would not be saddling him. So I rinsed him off, but he was not thrilled. At least much mud got out of his mane and tail.

So, Plan B was to at least do some ground work. We did get some done, but when he slipped hard jumping, I ended that. I sure didn’t need to get him hurt. So he went into a pen to await his food. What did he immediately do? He rolled. At least it was in dry dirt.

Nope. Not gonna groom that quite yet, either.

I tried to get Apache in to groom, but after nearly hurting myself and losing both shoes in the mud, I gave up. I didn’t want me (myself?) or a horse hurt. Better miss your project goal than injure humans or livestock!

I enjoyed my grass on the eroded pond dirt.

At least dinner was good. Rice cooker jambalaya to feed seven! And the pak choi in sesame oil, plus a great salad from Martha and Chardonnay from Anita. I think the men liked it! No time for photos, because we ate it!

I’d Do It for Free

What job would you do for free?

…a job, that is. This blog prompt is probably too easy, since I’ve done a LOT of volunteer work, some of it hard and thankless. My favorite one, though, has always been reaching people to knit and crochet.

I have no photo to go with this, so here’s banana pecan bread I made.

I loved it so much that I taught at a yarn shop way longer than I should have. I did get paid some, but mostly I did it because it’s so cool to take someone who’s never held a needle or hook and a couple of hours later end up with someone who has a new lifetime hobby. You’re never bored if you have a project.

You’re also never bored if you like weeds…err…wildflowers

Now, at the same time, I want to assure you that I believe teaching these skills is worth paying for and that professional knitting and crochet teachers deserve to be compensated. I happily spend money learning new skills from amazing and creative folks.

I’m not sure if blogging is a “job,” but I do know folks who make lots of money doing it. For me it’s a practice, not a job, so I’m happy to blog for free. Writing is so important in my life that I just have to do it, and I enjoy sharing what I write with a few folks to exchange thoughts with.

Enough of jobs I’d do for free. I guess if I retire my job will be to keep learning and growing. It’ll probably cost me, not earn money, but that’s ok. I just hope I can afford to keep the horses!

It finally stopped raining, but wow is it muddy. So, no horse riding happened. I was able to set up for the stuff I’d hoped to do all week, though. And I played with the chickens, down to seven, sniff. They got to go out and forage a bit.

Billie Idyll was laying an egg. I’ll miss Betty.

They were all out at the horse pens, but when I called them, they ran with those little children legs and followed me into the chicken run for a treat. That’s more responsive than certain horses.

I’m glad for a day where I could be out with the plants and bugs, knit on my blanket, and hang out with the family. Plus, we have a guest, so I got to leave the house and eat at a restaurant! Woo.

Here are random photos from the last two days. It’s been wet, but relaxing!

Mostly Square and Mostly Wet Photos

It’s rained for many hours. That usually doesn’t happen here. Today’s rain was what Lee calls “a good soaking rain,” which I hope means soil moisture is being replenished.

Wet red yucca, one of the few plants actually planted here.

I endeavored to find inspiration today, since it’s so cold and wet. The temperature has changed so little today that I wonder if my temperature blanket will have a solid square when I get to today.

I finished February last night. You can see it getting warmer.

My sick chicken got upset being confined so I let her out. This morning, there she was, all wet on the ground. So I took her into the warmer and dryer hen house. I thought at least she could feel less damp. But no, I went to check late this afternoon and she had dragged herself all the way to the other end of the chicken run. At least she’s under the covered part. I’m not good at veterinary tasks.

Taking pictures of wet things, and cropping them square, has slightly cheered me up. All the plants and insects are hanging in there, at least.

I can’t get to the horse pens to feed them. The drainage situation there is hard to solve. But they seem fine with all the nice grass and don’t mind wading through puddles to get in their shelter. Apache is probably enjoying the lack of sun on his pink skin.

The rain returned as soon as I came back inside. I guess the ponds will keep flowing into Walkers Creek.

Water’s still coming in from across the road.

It’s time to snuggle with dogs and stay dry. I hope you enjoyed the wet or square things.

Celebration of Floral Diversity

Long day that at least brought good rain without an accompanying tornado warning, that’s what it was. I did get out in the dampness to look for new flowers. Two I saw yesterday when I didn’t have the phone with me were hiding thanks to the rain, but I was pleased to spot our patch of interesting paintbrush flowers.

These usually red flowers do sometimes show some variety. My friend nearby has some yellow ones, too. I think they look wonderful in yellow, though, even if it makes them less interesting to hummingbirds. The apricot one is pretty spectacular, too.

I’d have had some beautiful wine cups to share, but yesterday the tenants turned the field behind the house into little while marshmallows of haylage. My hope is that they come right back.

Former wildflowers. And oats or something that they harvested.

Oh well. I have a few spots with grass making blossoms. Here’s some pretty peppergrass and little quaking grass.

You know, if you don’t mow until the flowers go to seed, you get a lovely show every year. Here are the two sides of my road. I like my side.

I guess we each get to do what we want to on the land we’re in charge of. We have some freedoms still! Speaking of which, now that the fish are gone, Mabel is free to swish her nose in the water all she wants.

Well, good, cause I’m thirsty. (Her ears are back because Apache is coming up behind her to make her move.)

And the sickly hen seems a bit better! You never know.