Sometimes You Gotta Do What You Don’t Wanna Do

That’s the truth! It’s a lesson that’s been kicking at me for the past six months or so. I really didn’t want to stop working. I really didn’t want to give up the fun I always had buying clothing, shoes, and decorations for my space. I didn’t want to give up on people who’d been important to me in the past or ideals I felt it important to uphold at great cost.

But I’ve done it. I realized what I thought was right for me actually wasn’t. The transition can be painful. I’ve had a pretty crappy few months, though I’ve tried to share the good stuff here. But I think I’m okay now.

I’m back to coping with an amount of stress I can handle for the most part, which is the only way to get through the huge transition our society is going through with dignity and grace. I’m grateful for friends and mentors who’ve helped out. We all need community support. Having my online friends, my lunch buddies, and my husband and son remind me of what’s good and I hope I give that back.

Today I realized I’m not the only one who struggles with transition and change. My poor Apache horse really likes a predictable life. Surprises like the farrier or a horse show aren’t his favorites.

Today was riding day, so Apache got all groomed and pretty and did fine on his groundwork, though he still dislikes jumping what he considers a “high” jump.

He was displeased at having to go to the new location of the round pen to do the riding. I didn’t push him, just walked and trotted, stopped and started, and leg yielded. However, Lee had mowed some “trails” for us, so I tried Apache out on them. It was funny to see him go into his panic at the unfamiliar, doing his direction changes and left turns.

Yes, I’ve finally gotten to where I find it more funny than scary, and helped him get some walking on the path done. And when I got off, he had to go back in the round pen and breathe for a while. I figure he’ll get better. He always does, just like me.

Onward and upward, trying to get through transition as smoothly as possible for both me and the animals.