Pushing Past Fears: Party Time

The past two years have been a time for me to push past fears and try many things I haven’t wanted to do in the past. I won’t whine and whine, but there’d been a period where I lost a lot of friends and was feeling bad about it, so I was not being very social. I kept to myself and just hung out with my ranch friends and one or two people in Austin.

Because of this, I never had the open house I’d vowed to have when the Bobcat Lair house was finished. We had dinner with one or two friends, but that’s about it. I didn’t want to hold a party and have no one come.

But, I meditated on it, talked to some wise people, and totally escaped my cocoon of self pity. I came to the conclusion that things just happen with friends and acquaintances, and I don’t need to try to figure out why. Instead, I need to live my life full of openness and welcoming to everybody, whether I’m their favorite person or not.

Now what?

It turned out my software job company wasn’t having a holiday party in December this year. We wanted to be festive, though. So, I volunteered to host a gathering of the folks from my work department (and some folks who sit near us) at my house. Whoever wanted to come would come.

It worked! My coworker, Maggie, and I had fun planning and shopping for the party, and she, Anita, and I had a nice morning preparing and setting up. Food arrived and so did people.

No fights broke out, except with a bee that stung Maggie. People laughed and smiled and didn’t break things. People even wrote poems with the holiday poetry magnets I found.

I admit that I had my Hermit moments, but I faced my fear of social rejection and realized that I was quite capable of being party mistress. I enjoyed sharing my home with others and giving them a pleasant afternoon with each other. I even said some silly things and just laughed at myself (along with everyone else).

Once again, I procrastinated and put things off for a long time, for no good reason. I had to teach myself AGAIN that I enjoy hosting parties (the last time was when we just finished the porch on my previous house.) Next time, the party’s at my house, friends. You’re invited. Just text ahead of time. And if you don’t want to come, I totally understand.

(I didn’t put any people in the photos because I didn’t remember to get permission. But imagine a lot of technical writers and instructional designers in funny sweaters.)