Fear Is Scary

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

First, I couldn’t answer yesterday’s prompt and I was so tired I fell asleep early, so I missed a day. I guess I miss out on the Bloguary prize, of which there isn’t one.

Winner winner, you can’t have my chicken for dinner. Buttercup is probably pretty tough at age four.

Second, I’m not going to write down my actual thing I’m most afraid to do, but here’s one that’s less life-threatening: I’m afraid to canter on Apache. (For you non-horse folks, cantering is the gate faster than trotting and slower than galloping.)

How I imagine I’d look. On the ground, in the distance.

I actually have good reasons. First, Apache has historically been a rough canterer even without anyone on him. He was so unbalanced he needed to literally kick himself into gear. Sara had a hard time with him when she tried, too. And I’ve never cantered on anything (Sara says I cantered on Pardner many years ago, when he thought he was herding cattle but I thought it was just trotting, which I sucked at back then.)

But, we’ve been working so hard with Apache to get straighter, and now he’s able to nicely transition on the ground. And I’m a better rider because I have been working hard, too.

We will keep trying.

So, what it will it take to get me to canter on Apache? Or Drew? That’s easy. Tarrin is working on my confidence by teaching me skills, and I’m practicing those skills. My confidence level is way higher. I even had fun on Drew on Monday.

Speaking of horse issues, Sara came by with her scary farrier knives and finished digging out Apache’s abscess. Today I did a bit of walking with him and a tiny bit of trotting. He told me when he was done, then we just walked around. He’s also taking his meds like a man using the syringe method.

That thing is sharp.

Poor Apache has horrible long hair from his condition, and it was warm today. He’d probably prefer it to be cooler again. I hope he starts shedding soon.

Drew is shedding, though. But. We’ve had a rough couple of days with his sudden sensitivity on his flanks. Yesterday I lunged him, and he kept snaking in at me. I persisted until he yanked the rope out of my hands, bucked, and ran out of the round pen. He then stopped and waited for me. I got the message. After that, he was friendly and not at all nippy.

Sorry I was grumpy.

Today he started out nippy, but did better being lunged. He seems uncomfortable still, but let me pet his tummy area on both sides. I’ve given him some ulcer stuff and got his feeding routine back to normal, in case eating with the other horses when it was so muddy bothered him.

All I can do is try to help, I guess. I’m grateful for the opportunity to have the horses, the chickens, and the land to enjoy.

Turtles are back!

Honestly, I’ve been feeling good and trying to savor the fine weather and beauty I see everywhere. It’s the best I can do. Who needs to let fear scare you into not enjoying you life and challenges?

Cheers.

A Horse Is a Sport, of Course

What are your favorite sports to watch and play?

My favorite sport to watch is, by far, American football. I’ve watched it my whole life, so it’s part of me, I guess, even with all its myriad of flaws and issues (high school boyfriend’s dad played in that last championship Detroit Lions team, and I now realize his odd behavior later in life may have been affected by blows to the head, for example). But, it was fun to watch football with my dad, and now it’s something Lee and I have in common. Note that I also enjoy baseball, which my dad played and took watching very seriously. And I actually enjoy watching golf. I just can’t believe how well people can get tiny balls into tiny holes. The only sports I’m not fond of watching are basketball and hockey. Just not part of my history, I guess.

What sports do I like to play? Well, as a kid I played football and baseball with the neighbors. If I weren’t so stubby and slow (and female) I would have played longer. I’m not exactly talented. I liked tennis in college. But the sport I do now is our version of working equitation, which is an equestrian sport. I think it’s a sport, I mean, there are competitions and prizes, so sure. So yes, my horses and I do sports.

Speaking of those powerful beasties, I got to enjoy them a lot today. That was a nice change from it mostly being too cold or wet to interact much. I took two work breaks to de-bur Drew and Apache, but I could not get them very clean. They keep rolling.

Tarrin came here for lessons today, which is always a treat. I really needed her to look at Apache and help me with his issues. Sure enough, the first thing she did was find where his abscess was hiding! It was under a flap of sole.

It’s in the white area.

She did a lot of scraping, then we rummaged through all the stuff in the tack room and found Betadyne to disinfect it, an antibacterial spray to treat it, and the mud stuff I bought to protect it. I can repeat when the mud disappears.

Tarrin also measured his feet for boots. Note the feed dish full of burs.

Once he was treated you could tell he felt better, because he lifted his other hoof for the first time in a month. That meant he could stand to lean on the sore one at last. We took him out and lunged him a bit, too. He had a harder time going left than right, but was happy to trot around. He seemed so happy to do stuff again.

And my hair looked fun.

What he wasn’t happy about is that Tarrin figured out a way to get his pills in him with a syringe. I’m so happy to have a large supply from the lady who sold us our horse trailer. Now I just have to keep shoving them in.

As for Drew, he started out acting really odd, like trying to nip when I groomed him. He seemed to have a stomach ache. That scared me. It probably was because the horses ran out of water. I didn’t know the water had been turned off again. My poor fish. Sniff.

I was too busy to photograph Drew, so here are three of the hens. They enjoyed the sunny day.

But he improved as I worked with him on the ground, and we ended up having a really good lesson. He did so well at things that had been frustrating earlier. I’m getting able to relax more when riding, and it’s almost getting to be FUN.

And finally, here’s the sofa as I found it this morning. They are exhausted from barking at coyotes.

So yeah, those horse buddies are my sport. They are also so nice to be with. They are now both patient for bur removal, so it’s our bonding time. Ahh.

Animal Care Is a Crazy Business

Come up with a crazy business idea.

It would be crazy, but good, if there were a way to make money caring for your own animals. But no, instead they cost money. But I don’t begrudge the professionals who help me care for my animal buddies the major bucks I pay them. After all, it improves all of our qualities of life!

I completely turned around the blog prompt again. Jackie, I hope that gave you a chuckle.

This topic is on my mind for a couple of reasons. First, it was horsie spa day again, as Jackie came to do bodywork on Drew and Apache. Drew went first, since Apache ran off when I first approached him with a halter. I guess he’s not THAT lame.

He seems happy with his eyes closed.

Jackie found a couple of things that might be contributing to his dislike of bending, including something on his hoof I hadn’t noticed before. He visibly improved in his shoulder after she worked on him. It’s so cool what she can do!

Apache did a little of yawning and releasing.

Apache really benefited from all the work he got, as you can see. He was in pretty good shape other than the abscess, which agrees with my assessment.

That hits the spot!

His confirmation was looking so good that I asked Jackie to hold him for a picture. Even in his winter coat, he looks good.

Not too fat!

I truly appreciate all Jackie can do. She is so gentle and soft with the horses but she gets them all stretched out!

The other animal care event happened to my dear Carlton. He’d had a “thing” that looked like a little pink nub on his back haunch. Dr Amy had said to just watch it, which we did. Last week he started messing with it and made it bleed, so he went in to have it looked at this afternoon.

In this picture from January it’s a tiny dot.

I was working so I couldn’t go, but I hear he didn’t get out of the truck. Dr Amy managed to take a dime-sized tumor out and sent it off for analysis. Let’s hope it’s all okay.

I’m pretty drugged.

He has internal stitches and external staples. I bet it heals very nicely – or he will have a cool scar.

He’s been under good care and the watchful eye of Nurse Goldie. I knew he’d be in good hands (or paws) while I was at the Master Naturalist meeting, though I was a bit out of sorts there for a while.

That’s just too sweet.

When Goldie went into the bedroom after she ate, Carlton turned to Lee. Everybody took care of him.

Safe and sound.

He’s been very expensive for a pound puppy, but the love he gives us makes it all worthwhile. I’m so glad we have our dog pack and horse herd.

My Attachment to Objects Started Early

Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?

I’ll answer this question about the first and second items I became attached to as a baby. I was one of those babies who had to have their beloved object with them at all times. I guess my attachment issues started early? Anyway, here’s me as a round baby with Hee Haw, whom I may have mentioned before.

I don’t think I owned clothing as a baby.

Hee Haw was a stuffed giraffe. I thought it was a horse. Mom told me horses said “Hee Haw” so there you go. I know Mom knew horses. But she liked what donkeys say better.

I’m told putting this toy in the laundry traumatized me, as did the time I dropped it in a store. Luckily it was found. By the time Hee Haw disintegrated I’d moved on to my next and final security objective, a literal security blanket.

I’m sure I have photos of Lovin’ Blanket, or LB as Mom called it, but none scanned. It originally was a quilted satin layette blanket with a lovely binding that Granny Kendall gave me. I held it as I went to sleep each night.

Like, I did that a long time. By the time I was in high school all the quilted satin was gone, and it was just an edge. It was all knotted up, and I draped it over my bedpost. It stayed there through college. I guess Dad gave it a dignified farewell when he moved to North Carolina after Mom died.

There. I got that tired old story out of my system.

Imagine dozens of white-crowned sparrows here.

I don’t have any exciting birds for today, so I’ll give you some pictures of my current fuzzy security item. Sara and I both agree that Apache has the greatest neck for hugging. He makes everything all better.

He is still a bit lame from the abscess. I keep treating him. Here is his bad hoof. Send healing thoughts!

There is redness but the vertical things are grass shadows.

You Mean I Have to Write a Mission Statement?

What is your mission?

Do I also have to have a vision? Argh. I’ve written so many mission and vision statements for institutions and organizations. I’d prefer not to do that again, thanks.

Mission statements have to have bullet points and be active! (From what I vaguely remember.) So:

Suna’s Mission is to:

  • Respect the Earth, yourself, and others
  • Be mindful
  • Maintain healthy boundaries
  • Be kind
  • Never stop learning

Today I spent some time learning about using my legs better on my beautiful young horse, Droodles (Drew). That fulfilled my mission of learning, respecting myself, and treating the animals in my care kindly, but with boundaries. And when riding a horse, you need to stay in the moment and be mindful. I guess that mission statement works.

He was ready to GO this afternoon! Good thing, because we got lots of exercise.

Drew’s “Christmas” present arrived so he got to wear his new halter and lead rope today. He’s looking good! Sometimes I still can’t believe I have a chance to be a part of my fantastic horses’ lives.

Much more dignified!

Apache is still a little lame, but getting around okay. I still can’t find where the abscess is, but I’m hoping he’s better soon. Finding that thing is my mission for him! He got a cinnamon colored halter and I hope to try it out tomorrow when I check him out.

Daily Bird

It was extra windy and pretty cold today, but I did my bird watching like a good scientist. The best thing I saw was the first thing, though. I got to enjoy watching the great blue heron chow down on a fish. it usually doesn’t come this close.

Later, after I checked the rain gauge, I saw it catch another one and I guess wrestle it to the ground. It kept poking at it. Maybe it was a crawfish.

Ah, Reading, Writing, and a View

You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?

Not much going on out of the ordinary today so let’s answer this one. If I had my ideal setup for reading and writing, it would involve a comfy daybed with a ton of soft pillows to ensure comfort no matter what I’m doing: reading, writing, knitting, or looking at birds, plants, and animals. That’s because the daybed is in the woods! But with climate control and no way for flies, mosquitoes and mice to get in.

Mr. and Mrs. Caracara are disappointed that I’m not building my little room.

Well, it’s a fantasy.

Mrs. C leaves in a huff.

In real life, Apache still walks okay and trotted a little on the lead line. He volunteered. I made him stop. He and I had a nice time with bur removal, too. He’s a friendly fellow and so patient on his new meds. I can’t find the abscess, though.

Dusty sticks his tongue out at my inability to find an issue.

Drew got his assigned exercise today though he wasn’t thrilled. Neither horse will enjoy getting back into shape. But it will pay off.

They don’t get to loll around like Goldie.

In extra mundane news, I’ve managed to misplace next year’s journal. That was the day’s bummer. How can I write in my forest hut with no journal?

Four previous journals. Before this I used large black notebooks for about five years. They’re still packed.

Luckily they still sell them and they are inexpensive, so I ordered more. I like consistency in my record keeping, it appears. I’ll have one in time to set up my beloved bullet journal for a fourth year in a row.

Oh Goody, I’m Still Here, Even though I Skipped Christmas

I skipped yesterday because I just spent the day cooking and being with my current nuclear family. I’m proud I didn’t spend any money on gifts this year or on commercial aspects of American Xmas. I just didn’t want to be all consumerist like I used to be. I did give my son and his partner the thermal stitch hot pads I’d made, though. I hope to take Anita on a trip next year as a gift.

We can fly away, like this red-shouldered hawk.

I didn’t even buy any food for dinner. I cooked a giant pork loin that was in the freezer. Half of it will magically reappear at New Year’s. I made dressing with bread cubes leftover from Thanksgiving and served vegetables and cranberry sauce I already had in the pantry. So there! The meal was just fine, and the conversation, laughter, and low stress among our group was marvelous. Success.

I thoroughly enjoyed spending the day looking at birds, which I did a lot of today, too. I saw pairs of kingfishers and caracaras, which makes me hope they are nesting. And today I got to watch a flock of chickadees eating at the stand of trees near the creek bridge. They are so comical. I heard them make a song I’d never heard them make before, too.

Tree full of tiny birds. Honest.

A day off really goes fast if you spend much of it watching little peeping things, and before I knew it, the time for a horse lesson had come. Droodles got to go again, since Apache was on sick leave. He was much better today about bur removal and seemed in better spirits, like his old friendly self.

Not Drew, but fun chickadees.

Speaking of much better, when Sara pulled up with her trailer and Aragorn, all the horses got excited. I enjoyed watching Mabel and Dusty gallop up to the pens, calling out. But after they stopped, I still heard thundering hooves. It was Apache! There he was cantering at great speed to check things out. He didn’t look very lame at all! Maybe his abscess has burst. I’ll check first thing tomorrow, since it was too dark when I got home to look, but he was walking normally. Yay! I may have both my horses back available to ride!

We will be out stabbing our poles at that bull again in no time. (Setting sun lit up the trees.)

Drew’s lesson showed he’s feeling better, but a bit out of shape. There was some huffing and puffing in his part, which looked so endearing. I enjoyed watching Tarrin work with him and got to ride a bit myself, which I was glad for, since riding makes my back feel better. Aragorn is also making some great progress as well. I enjoy watching Sara’s lessons. We each benefit from what the other is learning.

Happy trails to us!

Bonus enjoyment came when we got to watch the sun setting right as the full moon was rising. We all got to enjoy that!

It’s good to be back rambling along.

Bring Home the Groceries (and good news)

List your top 5 grocery store items.

It’s funny that this prompt came up today, because I haven’t had much time to go grocery shopping and ran out of one of my most precious items: coffee creamer. I just love how long that stuff lasts, which real cream does not. And I actually prefer no sweetener in my coffee, but that Italian Sweet Cream sure starts my day off well.

Today’s sunrise also started the day off well, so well it still looked good around 8:30.

What are my other four top grocery items? They squash my self image as a healthy eater. I’m afraid it’s Coke Zero, pop tarts (fruit), cheese, and yogurt. I assure you things like salad greens, tomatoes, onions, and tuna are also present. I eat a wide variety but need my emergency pop tarts.

I could eat dandelion greens in an emergency. We always have them.

On to the good news. I may have mentioned that Drew, the gray teen horse, got kicked in the head by Fiona the donkey a few weeks ago. Since then he hasn’t liked having his head touched, which created a problem due to his habit of eating among cockleburs, which got all over his forelock, the “bangs” on the front of a horse’s head.

This is on a day when I got some of them out.

He had been picking on the other horses, acting unfriendly towards me, and shaking his head if I put on a halter or bridle. I could barely ride him, so I mostly have been doing stuff on the ground. Well, today I had extra time, so I got him some hay, groomed him, and then tried but removal again.

Nice tail.

Yesterday, while waiting for Sara to come look at Apache, he let me get all the burs out of his tail, which looked sort of like a mop in the process of being wrung before I started. I took that as a good sign.

First I did the mane

So today I started on the part of his name farthest from his face and moved upwards. There was some gnarly stuff in there, but I gently separated the mess (wearing my gloves, of course). I gave him lots of rest time and much hay. When I got to the hard part, the top of his head, he got agitated. I had carefully put a web halter on at its loosest setting, but his head still itched. Poor guy.

Note the puff on his forehead!

I eventually got ALL the burs off. I think he eventually figured out I was helping. When I was finished he let me rub all over his little fro. Burs are like tiny hair curlers. Then he let me rub on his face, where the cut had been and I’d spilled oil the first time I’d de-burred him. Wow!

His reward was getting to graze in the round pen.

He was still agitated when we got to Tarrin’s for a lesson. He was hard to lead and his ears were back. So Tarrin did some cranial-fascial work on him and slowly he stopped head tossing. He had obviously been injured and knocked out of alignment. Probably had a concussion or hairline fracture, poor guy. Maybe that has taught him to avoid Fiona’s hooves. He seemed much happier when his skull and jaw were realigned.

Fix my leg, please.

Tarrin then worked with his behavior and got him more settled after realizing his back end also hurt (I’m guessing from rearing and kicking with Dusty). By the time she was done, he was paying attention to her nicely, doing good lateral movements, and acting sweet again.

She told me that if he starts acting mean again that he must not feel good. I’ll bear that in mind. He just needs to be walked over poles for the next week.

What about me?

Yes, it’s true. Neither of my riding horses can be ridden right now. Apache is no worse, and I am to start soaking his feet in epsom salts and water to try to draw out his abscess. He does get to be set free of the pens, though, because walking is good for him.

Must I?

And he will have pain meds for a few days. That boy is on a LOT of medication!

Ow.

I feel bad for both of them being in pain, but I think Droodles is gonna be better soon. Hope Apache is just a few more weeks to get better.

And the sun sets on another day. Birds tomorrow.

Busy Birds and Hobbling Horse

It’s time for a nature post today. Nothing is better for me than some bird watching, and today was fun. The fewer leaves on the trees, the better I like it. I got to observe two large and colorful birds today, so both are the Daily Bird.

Crested Caracara

I’ve been seeing a pair of these birds a lot the past few weeks. I even saw their mating flight one day. Today they flew around and around where I was until one landed high in a nearby tree. you can even tell what it is in the picture!

Better picture

Around here, we call them Mexican eagles, as they are the bird on the Mexican flag, after all. They are expanding their range northwards. They weren’t here when we first arrived; I saw my first ones in DeWitt County, where Lee’s dad was from. I think they’re very fun to watch.

The other large bird I enjoyed today I heard first, before I saw it. They are very loud when they call. Then I heard the banging of a big bill and knew it was the pileated woodpecker, the one whose holes I’d seen on our last camping trip.

I listened to the pecking long enough that I eventually spotted it on a dead branch on the biggest tree behind the back pond. I watched that pointy head go up and down for quite a while. I do have photos of it, but it was so far away that I only know it’s there from the Live Photo motion.

Sure, there’s a bird in that tree.

It made an excellent racket when it flew off, which capped off my morning walk well. There was also the usual red-bellied woodpecker out today, so it was easy to compare calls, but I didn’t hear the flicker today.

My afternoon animal adventures weren’t all that fun. I went out to prepare food for the horses and ride/exercise Drew, when I noticed that everyone had come up to see me but Apache. He didn’t come to me when I gave him his medicine, either, just nickered a greeting.

When he finally did move, my heart sank. He was limping. I forgot all about my plans and prepared the pens for him to stay in. I fed the other guys and got him all settled. His feet weren’t too hot, and the sore foot looked no different than it had last time I looked at it on Friday.

Hobble Horse. My poor buddy.

Sara, bless her, came over to check, even though she was having her family holiday meal soon. Apache was pretty happy other than his foot, since he had a giant bag of hay and I de-burred him. Sara put a boot on him to help. I have a harder to use boot I’ll try tomorrow.

Lee and I checked on him again before bedtime. Apache was so pleased to see me that he peed (he used to do that a lot). He was also quite pleased with the entire bale of hay I left him so he wouldn’t starve.

Hay? For me? Don’t bother unwrapping it!

Anyway, Sara and Tarrin agree it’s probably an abscess, which happened a couple of years ago. That’s no fun, because I can’t ride him, but it’s not a medical emergency like founder would be. Whew. I know it hurts, though.

The $$$ medicine he takes now will prevent founder by helping with his PPID symptoms, for which I’m grateful. I’m sure he’ll get better but it will take time, and we’ve been doing so well!

Bonus: while waiting for Sara I got all the burs out of Drew’s tail and he was friendlier than he’s been lately. I have a lesson on him tomorrow, so I hope Tarrin can help me figure out why he’s gotten so grouchy and hormonal.

Day or Night, It’s All Right

Are you more of a night or morning person?

Let’s answer this prompt. It’s harmless. I used to prefer nights, back when I did a lot of music stuff and going out with friends. I think I liked the activities, like choir practice and rehearsals more than the fact that it was night.

This is here just because I thought it was pretty.

Now that I mostly stay home, I’ve come to enjoy my morning routine out in the fields and woods. It’s grounding and gets my mind ready to get stuff done. I do enjoy having morning rituals like coffee and filling out my bullet journal for the day, too.

I often meditate while looking at lichen and bark.

I have evening rituals, too, like blogging and reading before I go to sleep. I guess I like to ease into the day and ease back out.

Magazine patiently waiting for me to finish blogging

I enjoyed the distraction of a lesson on Apache this afternoon. I wanted to build on last weekend, and it worked. We are doing well together, and I’m impressed with his eagerness to learn. I’m a lot more calm, too. He’s feeling better.

Next lesson will be for Drew, but it’s been postponed for family stuff. That gives me lots of time to work with them both at home, though. Drew and I have lots to practice, too! He is still weird about his head but otherwise tons of fun.


Daily Bird

I think the great blue herons on the ranch will be upset (or more upset) with me if I don’t feature them, so today’s the day.

It’s about time.

At least today I didn’t scare one who was busily cleaning out the overflow pond like I’d done for two days. I just watched them flying and posing at water’s edge.

I’m watching you.

My favorite thing about these large birds is their croak. They yell when disturbed and made to fly off. Often they don’t vocalize enough for the Merlin app to catch them, but it did this week. It’s a great creaky sound.

I’m glad we have water to attract these and the other herons/egrets here. They have so many postures and look so elegant when they fly. And they’re so big! It’s a nice contrast with all the tiny woodland birds.

Bonus phoebe.