The Hermits' Rest

Butterflies Are Tricky

Since I’m still feeling a bit under the weather I didn’t do much today. Luckily my favorite activity each morning is listening to birds and watching the wildlife behind our house. Paying attention is hard on the mind (sometimes) but easy on a weakened body.

The insects are enjoyable, and give me visual entertainment when I can’t see birds. There are always wasps and bees, along with flies, not all of whom are annoying (just most). It’s been a mediocre year for dragonflies — there have been years with more and years with less, but they’re always fun to watch.

Of concern this year, though, have been butterflies. Much of the spring and summer there really haven’t been as many as usual. The most prolific were the Gulf Fritillary contingent who love one of the spring vines.

I saw one today, but this is from spring

Next have been the clouded and Eufala skippers, who love the morning glories, of which I’ve shared many photos. Asters are doing a good job, too, as I shared recently.

For the last few days, though, I’m seeing a greater variety, ranging from tiny hairstreaks to large sulphurs and swallowtails. It sure was pleasant sitting in my chair and seeing a variety feeding on grass pollen. Too bad I decided not to move around and disturb them, because you’d have a lot to see! This hackberry emperor posed so beautifully on a corn leaf blown in from harvest that I had to capture it. That’s why we don’t eliminate hackberry trees!

I’ll feel better tomorrow and more up for photography. I’m sure they won’t all sneak away when they see me coming.

PS: Lee made me another book. The pages are thick watercolor paper. It was hard to sew, but he did a great job. The book opens nice and flat, too. He even stamped the cover with a sweet bow!

Mortality Blues

I’ve been re-watching the television series Lucifer, in which the Devil comes to earth to figure out what being mortal is like, among other things. He’s all excited to get to actually feel pain.

Well, I’m glad it gives Mr. Morningstar some giggles. It’s not the case with me these days, nor with so many of my friends in the 75+ age group. They seem pretty baffled at how their previously well behaved bodies are randomly (it seems) failing. Why is my knee giving way? How did I get this heart issue? What the heck!

Carlton is concerned about his mortality though he need not be

I remember how weird it seemed when my indestructible Dad started to show signs of age. Maybe it was good he passed at 80, before his body stopped being so robust. That would have been hard on him.

I’m musing about this because my digestive system, the one inextricably linked to my anxiety and stress, has not been cooperating with me. I was pretty much out of commission today, and I don’t know which of many possibilities caused it. I ended up taking a nap in the cool motorhome after work.

No doubt the horses were relieved I didn’t make anyone work today, but they got fed.

It’s just so frustrating to have your body not doing its job properly when you have plans. That’s my least favorite part of aging, the unreliability of the physical part of myself.

Nonetheless there were highlights today, the biggest of which was seeing a big Wood Stork by the creek. I thought it was a hawk at first, but the head shape gave it away. I hope we see more, and some cranes.

That will make up for how quiet birding has been lately. I hear plenty of birds, but not in large numbers and not very enthusiastically. Maybe they’re all molting like Connie and the chickens.

The Great Egret was another non-Hawk that was in the usual lookout trees.

I will now see if I can sleep. I’ve avoided the news and have not read any depressing books.

Appreciate Your Community

Because of life constraints I don’t get to see some of the people who mean the most to me. You know who you are.

For that reason it was so gratifying to spend time just relaxing and talking to my friend Anita this evening. Even though we only live five miles away, it’s hard to get together right now thanks to work and a geriatric dog.

But we did get to have some of our talks like only people who’ve known each other over half a century can have. I feel lots better just from the in-person check-in (as opposed to social media and text).

We all chatted on the new porch. Now I’ve had two friend visits here!

It makes me want to see a few other close friends even more. All the busyness and over/scheduling just makes it hard. Well, and me being a hermit and wanting to avoid big cities and crowds doesn’t help.

I’m grateful for Zoom/Teams chats and wish I had more. Maybe I should schedule some! Taking action is a skill I’m still working on, for sure! If you want to chat with me or someone you care about, do it! Make a plan. I’ll try to take my own advice.

It’s a full moon, so I can manifest more sociability.

But to those of you I care about and don’t talk to often, know you’re in my thoughts more than you could imagine. My brain is filled with community. Now to maintain it…

Trying Is So Vital

It very well could be that some of you are sick of me going on and on about learning to canter on horseback. After all, little kids just jump on horses and take off, flying like the wind—how hard can it be?

Looks so easy, huh? Not for me and my horse buddy. Photo from Pexels.

Hmph. I was told recently that it’s also hard for many young people to learn. So there. And I think many young people feel braver because they haven’t developed a fear of a crippling injury like, say, blue-haired women over 65.

I’m gonna share old photos of me and Apache. I was only 56 here in 2014, doing groundwork.

Me and Apache following Sara and Spice in 2018.

I started lessons on Apache because I felt incompetent and was worried I’d hurt myself in a fall when riding alone. I was ok walking, but I didn’t like going fast, even trotting. But I wanted to try to conquer my fears.

Me trying not to be afraid, 2016, Anita on dear Pardner

I lucked out and found a trainer who understands both horses and people, and doesn’t force either to do things they aren’t ready for. So we walked a lot at first. And I found out it wasn’t just me who needed help, Apache had to un-learn some unhelpful patterns and have his health issues addressed.

So yeah, this horse thing has been a slow process, but I haven’t given up, even when I’m afraid. Now I’m less afraid than uncertain about whether I can do things. But Tarrin has convinced me that I won’t know until I try. It works, and has spilled over into other areas of my life, where I have more self confidence.

2016. I was braver riding with friends !

I went from hanging on for dear life while trotting to actually having some finesse and skill with it. And Apache has learned how to do the trot more effectively, which means it’s easier on me. I like that we’re both learning in our golden years. We’ve become a team. We’re a slow team but we keep trying. And I think we both enjoy it.

So today, I was happy to see a much less crusty Apache greet me in the morning. He also seemed to feel a lot better than he did earlier in the week. We ended up having a great lesson after a slow warmup. He cantered well enough that we went into the round pen to try under saddle again.

2015, one of our first Parelli lessons. Awkward.

I’m feeling more confident just from having done the canter lessons before. I feel okay going so fast and jumping before cantering. Today we made it halfway around the circle, not just a few steps. I even sorta lost my balance and fixed it. That makes me feel better about staying on.

I know I have friends competing in dressage or roping or barrel racing for whom this seems like remedial education. But it’s where I’m at and I’m still trying. Sure, we could have gotten to this point faster if certain horses could have stayed healthier, but yay, we’re still here and having fun.

If we don’t try, we won’t get anywhere.

Pollen, pollen

It’s everywhere right now. People always think of spring as prime time for pollen and pollinators, but at least around here the season lasts until it freezes. Autumn brings lots of flowers out for hungry insects over here in Milam County, Texas. I’ve shown you lots of tie vines, or wild morning glories.

In the mornings these clouded skippers cover the vines.

Another popular plant is the southern annual saltmarsh aster (Symphyotrichum divaricatum). They will be blooming until frost. Many tiny insects flit around them, probably wasps. I can’t get them to hold still. But I can catch a few butterflies (these are from today).

Today I spent a few minutes on my way to the mailbox dawdling around the big pollen producer of the moment, goldenrod. We have a patch of tall goldenrod (Solidago altissima) on the dam that creates our driveway. It’s literally buzzing with activity right now, predominantly bumblebees and wasps, but there are also a few honeybees, butterflies, and bonus insects. It’s fun to watch them darting around.

I can see why Texas has its Pollinator Week in October each year, because even though it seems late, there’s still pollination to be done! I enjoyed focusing my time outside on these fall plants and insects (and arachnids). It takes my mind off how little it’s rained lately, current events, and the warm air rising to our bedroom every night.

In my opinion, you should focus more on how amazing garden spiders are.

But wait, there IS good news! The electrician people came today and got our big fans installed on the screened porch. It was a bit of work, especially putting the fans together. I had planned to take some calm fan photos, but instead got to record a rare sight, our usually dignified Alfred being playful with Penney. I’ll treasure these images!

A Little More Dullness

My inspiration for writing about what interests me is at an all-time low. Maybe it’s that lack of air conditioning in our upstairs. Inspiration and sweating have never gone together well for me. Sweating puts me into survival mode, which may explain my reluctance to canter on Apache at the end of a hot lesson.

It’s probably cooler up in a tree with the Great Egret.

Speaking of my spotted gelding companion, he may keep acting all stiff when we exercise, but I see him cantering away quite gloriously when the herd decides to move and he doesn’t realize I’m looking. HA! I also think Drew leans to the left when cantering like a wild horse. Hmm. Things to discuss on Saturday, I guess.

No horse photos, but look at the cuteness of this tiny Hentz jumping spider. It soon jumped off my eraser.

Let’s see what dull events happened today, and I’ll try to be more interesting tomorrow.

I did my nails an interesting orange ombré that looks better on my short nails. Yes, it’s Orange October, but I’m keeping my hair Dusty blue. (Spell check capitalized Dusty because it knows about the horse, I guess)
Another calf must have been born, because the Black Vultures were back following cows. I didn’t see it.
Air conditioning repair guy came with a new controller only to discover the motor had burned out. Back to waiting on another part.
An electrician came to install the porch ceiling fans. He left a long wire on the porch, returned later in the day but turned around in the driveway and left. That was weird. Maybe he forgot something? It shall remain a mystery.
Work was sorta fun, with a lot of collaboration and problem solving. That’s always my favorite part. I like when team members each bring different skills that enable better outcomes to be accomplished.

Remember people around you are struggling and may not be at their best. Let’s try to be supportive and put aside little gripes. That message was for me, too.

Connie looking naked from all that molting

I’m a Very Dull Person

And at this point in my life, that’s fine. I enjoy a Facebook group called Dull Women’s Club by Sara Green, and it’s been wonderful reading about the ordinary lives of “dull” women all over the world. Each one is unique and fascinating, whether they’re young, old, rich, poor, or whatever. And people are so kind to each other in the comments. It’s not full of trolls and AI bots, just real women. If they’re dull, I’m happy to be one of these dull but kind and brave women who share their lives with strangers.

Welcome to the dull horses’ club, where we sigh at the sunrise.

I hadn’t intended to write about actual good stuff in social media, but I digressed. I’d been thinking that any topic I could come up with this week has been pretty darned dull. For example.

When I rinsed off Apache’s sweat crystals today, he was dirtier than when I started. I need a real hose nozzle.
Yesterday the highlight of the day was watching Black Vultures surround a move who’d just given birth so they could get the afterbirth. The calf was very strong and nursed away before the placenta was delivered.
I had a great conversation with my dental hygienist about celery, it’s plusses and minuses (minus—flossing the fibers out).
I almost wrote about how much I like my dental practice. They have low staff turnaround and don’t lecture you. And the dentist is the king of Dad jokes
The upstairs air conditioning is still out. It’s becoming hot outside again, so I truly hope the part comes in soon.
Better news. The motorhome is repaired…again. We will see if our next trip goes more smoothly.
I’ve discovered that Crayola swirl crayons do a great job of mimicking stained glass with mixed colors in it. I do love crayons. And colored pencils. And pens. What a stereotypical old lady writer.
Connie is molting giant white feathers. The poultry area looks like it’s snowed.
I spent 20 minutes looking at tiny insects on tiny aster flowers. I also watched clouds.
I’m enjoying work this week. I love writing helpful material. That’s SO dull.

Yep. I’m not in an exciting phase. And I’m just not up for a big long introspective (and probably dull) monologue, either. So, that’s what you get for today. At least I wrote!

Geeking Out Over Sound Patterns

Bear in mind that I have been looking at waveforms most of my adult life, so this stuff interests me. I still edit myself talking a lot (yep, it’s my job), so I know when I’m gasping or clicking from saliva before I even listen. It’s interesting, not that fun.

But it’s only in the past couple of years, since I e had Merlin Bird ID that I’ve been able to identify bird calls by how they look on a spectrogram.

Loggerhead Shrike – you can just tell it’s loud and harsh, not melodic.

This kind of knowledge is helpful in winter when there are so many sparrows around. Their spectrograms look different. Here’s one I also like.

Songbird recordings look very different. Some are more horizontal lines going up or down with the pitch. Others have a mix of tones, but you can see the melody. These two I got from Merlin, of birds I’ve heard.

As I’ve been enjoying the sounds birds, there have been other sounds Merlin catches, like loud trucks, airplanes, and wind. And, of course there are insects. I was being deafened by the sounds of late-summer cicadas when I looked down at the waveforms. Wow!

You can practically feel the pulsing by looking at those fascinating shapes. On the other hand, crickets just stick to one note.

So if anyone ever asks me how I know a sound is a cricket versus a cicada, I can turn on Merlin. It may not ID it, but I can know from the shape.

Here’s a sound I’m glad Merlin heard: a Yellow-headed Blackbird. They only show up here a few days a year during migration. Photo by Dorian Anderson.

I used to have some frog images but I can’t find them. I’ll be paying attention and when I hear something interesting, I’ll stop the recording, since Merlin doesn’t save recordings over about 20 minutes long, due to storage constraints. My phone would be FULL.

Another Sunday

I managed to not interact with the news all day. I enjoyed birds, especially Eastern Meadowlarks over at my son’s house while I was feeding his pets. The birds were singing and merrily grabbing insects in a true autumn poem.

I also enjoyed watching the cattle in the pasture I walked through. I’m very glad the neighbors have very tame bulls. This very muscular fellow just looked at me in a peaceful way.

The horses were wandering around as a herd, diligently trying to find the last few cockleburs to get in their manes and tails. Drew got some in his tail, but the pesky plants got mowed this evening, so he will have fewer opportunities.

Other than wandering around the property, I spent my day peacefully doing crafts and reading. It sure keeps me centered.

Obviously I was desperate for something to color. I think I left my other books in the motorhome.

Everyone Needs a Today

Today nothing bad happened. I had fun. I rested. I enjoyed nature and my pets. I hung out with family. I colored. I did my nails with a glow-in-the-dark accent.

I needed this day. I feel privileged that I can experience a quiet day of peace and love. So many of us can’t ignore the news for a day or take time off to rest.

Now I want everyone to be so fortunate. There is work to do.