The Hermits' Rest

When I Became a Parent

Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.

Maybe writing about the dim past will ease me back into writing.

When I saw this prompt, memories pushed themselves up from forgotten synapses and I remembered giving birth and the first day I became a parent. What a strange and incomprehensible new world it was for me.

I’ll gloss over the birth part, which involved my spouse barfing all over the place and having to go to the ER, leaving me to labor alone (no family or close friends nearby), then included every possible birth intervention I thought I’d never have, leading up to an unplanned cesarean due to my “incompetent” cervix. I never felt so powerless and out of control.

Then, after the anesthesiologist nearly paralyzed me (and I TOLD him I had a slight scoliosis), I was presented with a small person who used to live inside me. I felt like I already knew him.

Being a new parent who’d just been drugged up, I mostly remember smells from the hospital, from me, and from the baby. I’d never been hospitalized before, and it was a smelly experience.

I fell asleep after the lengthy labor and being surgerized at 6 am, and they took the dang baby away from me. When I woke up, not only did I have to listen to some woman with no pain tolerance screeching about needing more IV meds, but there was no baby. How the heck was I supposed to get colostrum in him?

Well, I could tolerate pain. And I figured out how to drag my IV with me and went to find my damn baby. I’m sure that was a lovely sight. Too bad.

I found the nursery about the time some nurse ran up and said I shouldn’t have walked unaccompanied. But no one was paying me any attention at all thanks to Old Screechy and I wanted my child.

That got me the child, who I would not put down henceforth except to hand him to my spouse. He was in charge of diaper changes, which also came with new smells. I can smell breasted baby poop right now. Neither of us had ever changed a diaper before. All new to us.

I left that place as fast as I could and vowed to do everything possible to avoid getting cut open like that again, surrounded by people who just wanted me to hurry up before the shift changed. (Didn’t work out, but I sure tried.)

One photo. Me immediately upon coming home, with newborn.

That birth experience was the first time I felt like my body failed me. I asked it to do something, breathed like a yogini, and did everything right, but I got the surgery anyway. I’ve always said I’m grateful to La Leche League for helping me succeed at breastfeeding after it taking 5 days to get my milk in and having babies who had to learn to open their mouths. It was healing to know my body could do something I asked it to do, after all.

This may have been garbled. I’m having some internal weirdness going on after being around a lot of negativity. Not the fault of anyone in my immediate family!

Daily Bird

There weren’t enough birds around to pick one! It was a dreary day with morning drizzle. I heard no birds this morning and only five when I tried again in late evening. Even the owl was quiet. Even the house sparrows were quiet! Gads! The loudest bird was the kingfisher, so I salute that bird for being out and about no matter what.

What I Admire in Others

What is something others do that sparks your admiration?

This is a great question! There’s so much to admire out there! I’ll list a few things I admire here, and I encourage you to think about it, too.

This is apparently a red admiral with its wings closed.

Putting themselves in the public eye. I’m too “sensitive” and easily hurt by being criticized and judged to be someone who does politics, runs a business, or that kind of thing. I truly admire pioneering advocates for unpopular causes and people willing to engage in public service.

Being minimalist. I think minimalist decor, clothing, and all that embracing of emptiness and lack of color is quite amazing. I’m no good at it. I like stuff. Colorful stuff. Of course there’s room for us all. But I’m impressed with people who go through life all clean and neat, with only seven highly “curated” outfits.

I think the previous one might not really be about admiration, more like awe. Or incredulity.

I admire my dogs for living in the moment.

Knowing where every cent of their money is. I’m not a good accountant. I’m also not interested in money, which is not real anyway. I just watch it vaguely.

Being at peace. Truly, the thing I find most admirable about some people is that they are at peace. They like who they are, enjoy their life, accept that everything will eventually pass, and live in the moment. Those people (and I do know a couple) bring peace and contentment to others, too.

What’s That Glow?

There’s a certain glow here at the ranch house, and it’s not a tree or a menorah. Nor is it the glow of my cheeks from hanging out in the woods listening to birds.

The glow is from the uranium in the gift from my spouse that was procured today. Yep.

There really wasn’t much going on here today, but since we’re going out of town Monday, we didn’t want to camp. So we went for a drive and ended up in scenic Waco, Texas, an hour north of us (though we wandered around to get there.

Now, it’s not like nothing happened. I did my nails. Reindeer Whisperer and a bow.

When we got to Waco we bypassed all tourist attractions, even the ones I like (mammoth remains, cute zoo, wetland park) and just explored different neighborhoods from poor to gentrifying to comfortable to fancy ones by the lake.

I guess it’s pretty sad that my first highlight of the trip was eating at Bush’s Chicken. It’s my favorite, crunchy on the outside and hit and juicy in the inside. Plus there’s fried okra.

After we ate, Lee decided he wanted to go to an antique store, so searched out the closest one. It was a good idea.

We went to an old neighborhood with lots of restored houses, where Show and Tell Antiques is located. (Link is to Facebook page.) This place is great fun for antique lovers and those interested in old houses in need of restoration.

I was too busy looking at stuff in every nook and cranny to take pictures but loved the old kitchen and bathrooms in the 1908 house built for a Doctor Pepper founder (another Waco claim to fame).

Check out that stove and floor in the kitchen!

This place is extra cool. Since I love glassware and china, I had a blast. I also enjoyed talking to family members, who shared lots of history and may have been making sure we didn’t shoplift.

I was amazed at this collection of very old needlework magazines, which I did not get, because, well, I already have a lot of this kind of thing.

I honestly wasn’t going to get anything until I saw two tiny purple hobnail glass containers, probably for matches or toothpicks. They are just perfect t for my window display of purple glass in my bathroom.

Then I went in a dark corner under the stairs. What did I see? Vaseline glass. Not fake. And by gosh there were things shaped like logs. Even the little legs on the items looked like tree stumps.

So, if you aren’t a collector of art glass, you might not know how cool this Vaseline glass (with bonus opalescence) is. It has uranium in it! I know a couple of collectors with many interesting pieces that I’ve enjoyed looking at, but I never had anything. This little set is so perfect for a nature lover…I glowed with love.

The log is a sugar bowl and the pump is a creamer, I learned. By the way, it’s safe to display.

Lee thinks I’m weird but got it for me as a Yule gift, a bit early. We didn’t get much bargaining, but I was ok with it. I’ve checked the prices online. You can pay more or less. But look, it glows in black light!

Now I feel extra justified in buying that black light flashlight!

I’m not sure where I’ll put the little keepsakes. I have them in my bedroom but they disappear against the yellow walls. I’ll put them I. My corner hutch, where I can see them from bed, perhaps. But this pleased me a lot. I always wanted some Vaseline glass, but never found exactly what I wanted. It was this. (The set is not particularly uncommon but not overly plentiful either—it was made by Northwood probably in the early twentieth century.)

As a bonus, I got to enjoy clouds and the sunset on the way home. So good. The sun also glows with scary rays, so it fits!

Daily Bird

It was rather quiet this morning when I went out, but I ended up with 38 birds heard, and some great viewing experiences. The two owls at the top of the post were impressive, but I also enjoyed watching the antics of a teeny red-eyed vireo. But the bird of the day is one I hadn’t heard here until today, the red-breasted nuthatch.

I didn’t see this one, but I heard it. I saw one in Buescher State Park, though, and it was cute as heck going up and down a tree. I’m fond of birds that climb like that, like the brown creeper.

I’ll remember today for so many reasons!

What Could I Do Less Of?

What could you do less of?

Oh, probably blog. So here are photos, mostly of autumn. And Penney.

Let’s Get Positive!

What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?

Now this is a good question! It’s been quite a challenging year, but the good stuff has been huge. I’m actually doing very well, considering. And here’s why.

Bonus: cool skies, like this sun dog this morning, Thank you, Nature.

Progress with Horsemanship: I’ve gotten to where I can ride Drew, at least on many days. And Apache and I have made so much progress that I can’t stop smiling when I think of it. My nerves are better and he feels better, which is such a great combination.

He’s un-learning a lifetime of holding his head high.

Learning about Birds: I gave the Cornell Ornithology Lab a nice donation this year, because the improvements in the Merlin Bird ID app have made this bird lover know so much more about what lives here at the Hermits’ Rest and wherever I visit. I feel like I have familiar friends everywhere I go now, even with eight similar sparrows here at once.

Since I got no bird pictures today, here’s a Red Admiral I saw in my meditation tree.

Camping in Seneca: one of the best things about this year has been going camping with Lee. It’s been wonderful for our relationship to get away and spend time together (when I’m not hiking solo). He sure loves to drive that thing.

Making Mental Peace with My Family: I’ve worked hard at accepting the way things are with my family. I just want my son and sister happy with their choices. I’m doing much better at accepting the family members who DO talk to me just as they are. And I feel more empathy with my parents, who did the best they could. Even Mom. This kind of thing has helped bring me more peace inside.

What’s good with you? Whatever it is, hold onto it! We’re in for some bumpy times, I think.

Happy Hanukkah for my Jewish friends. It’s such a hard time, especially for those close to me.

One Thing I Would Like to Change

What is one thing you would change about yourself?

If you’ve read more than a few posts on this here blog you know that this crone has a long list of things she’d like to change about herself, and that she at least says she’s working on them.

Today’s birds are white-crowned sparrows in a tree. They sang and sang.

So, what’s one thing I’d like to change about myself? Today I nominate my persistent and unwavering drive toward conflict and avoidance. I’d love to stop apologizing all the time and learn to take up for myself, whether it pisses people off and makes them dislike me or not.

The end.

Day or Night, It’s All Right

Are you more of a night or morning person?

Let’s answer this prompt. It’s harmless. I used to prefer nights, back when I did a lot of music stuff and going out with friends. I think I liked the activities, like choir practice and rehearsals more than the fact that it was night.

This is here just because I thought it was pretty.

Now that I mostly stay home, I’ve come to enjoy my morning routine out in the fields and woods. It’s grounding and gets my mind ready to get stuff done. I do enjoy having morning rituals like coffee and filling out my bullet journal for the day, too.

I often meditate while looking at lichen and bark.

I have evening rituals, too, like blogging and reading before I go to sleep. I guess I like to ease into the day and ease back out.

Magazine patiently waiting for me to finish blogging

I enjoyed the distraction of a lesson on Apache this afternoon. I wanted to build on last weekend, and it worked. We are doing well together, and I’m impressed with his eagerness to learn. I’m a lot more calm, too. He’s feeling better.

Next lesson will be for Drew, but it’s been postponed for family stuff. That gives me lots of time to work with them both at home, though. Drew and I have lots to practice, too! He is still weird about his head but otherwise tons of fun.

Daily Bird

I think the great blue herons on the ranch will be upset (or more upset) with me if I don’t feature them, so today’s the day.

At least today I didn’t scare one who was busily cleaning out the overflow pond like I’d done for two days. I just watched them flying and posing at water’s edge.

My favorite thing about these large birds is their croak. They yell when disturbed and made to fly off. Often they don’t vocalize enough for the Merlin app to catch them, but it did this week. It’s a great creaky sound.

I’m glad we have water to attract these and the other herons/egrets here. They have so many postures and look so elegant when they fly. And they’re so big! It’s a nice contrast with all the tiny woodland birds.

Sometimes Simple Is Spectacular

Send good thoughts our family’s way, since we’re experiencing a loss.

So let’s talk about yarn. Good idea.

I’m like a dog with a bone when it comes to needing to craft during stressful times.

Since I’m still waiting for my pale yellow yarn to arrive so I can get back to the temperature blanket, I’m experimenting. I saw a Facebook post by Lily M. Chin about crocheting a fancy hot pad/oven mitt thing using leftover yarn and a stitch called thermal stitch. This stitch is like double knitting in that it makes a double thickness of fabric.

I liked the looks of it and the idea of making something sturdy out of wool that would be oven safe and protect surfaces if you set something on it. Sounded like a good gift idea, from someone who isn’t buying gifts this year.

I followed Lily’s advice and searched for instructions for thermal stitch. Sure enough, there are plenty out there. I conveniently share the one I used, just so you won’t ask.

My sample swatch I made from two skeins of sock yarn held together. I had a bit of a learning curve since crocheting into the back of one stitch and the front of the stitch in the row below is harder with doubled yarn is challenging. I also was not very good at turning and starting the next row. But the pattern is really pleasant to look at.

I decided to make a “real” hot pad/potholder out of one strand. Hanging around in a tote rescued from my former knitting closet happened to be a bunch of beautiful teal blue Lamb’s Pride wool/mohair yarn that many years ago was intended to be part of an extremely complicated cabled sweater. Look at that sideways cable. Note it’s in the round. Check those stitch markers. Ooh fancy.

A partial sweater in light that makes it look green.

Yes, it sure was fancy. I’m not sure why I gave up many years ago, but one reason may be that the weather here in Texas will newer be cold enough here to wear a wool/mohair cable extravaganza, barring the occasional polar vortex. Never fear! I think I’ll make a pillow out of what’s finished.

Mostly I no longer feel the urge to make the most complicated project possible. When I looked at the thermal stitch in this yarn, I saw a beautiful and subtle movement and felt a satisfying thickness.

Thermal stitch doesn’t have a lot of “give,” so it’s not a good garment choice. But it’s great for household items! Here’s the first one I made. I was still a bit unsure about the edges, and my border idea did not disguise it. I think I’ll erase that.

The one I’m doing now has nice edges, so I’ll deem it gift worthy. I have enough yarn to make a third one, so I’ll use the first one myself.

Maybe when the temperature blanket is done I’ll make a large one like Lily Chin did. Hers was long, and folded over at each edge to make holes you can stick your hands in while slipping the main part under a casserole. It was cool. Also, turning it under hides any ugly edges, heh heh.

Photo by Lily M. Chin, used with permission. I like how turning the ends under would hide my ugly edges.

I really like the look of this textured stitch. I’m resisting any urge to embellish it with embroidery or threads running through it to make a plaid. Resistance is NOT futile.

PS: Daily birds will return tomorrow.

The Hippie Takes a Day Off

What are your two favorite things to wear?

I say I’m a hippie, because when I saw the prompt for the day, two things popped into my head: blue jeans and t-shirts. I have had that as my uniform since the day I was allowed to wear pants to school, which I think was in 1971. It sure saved Mom money, so she didn’t argue with me. My clothing budget shrank a lot. And I bought my own shirts.

My avatar wears my usual stuff. Jeans, t-shirt, jean jacket and cowboy boots.

The t-shirts have only changed in that now there are more horses on them and before I had stylized drag racing cars. Peace symbols and flowers have stayed.

The jeans started out straight, became bell-bottoms, got high-waisted and low-waisted and repeated in various ways. Mostly I wore basic Levi’s.

I didn’t catch it, but I did see this goatweed leafwing butterfly today.

Now, on to the day off. I felt so good after a very long night of sleep, that I decided to take it easy today. I spent a lot of time birding, including being startled by the blue heron twice. It’s been picking off fish in the dwindling overflow pond, and neither of us can see the other until we’re on top of each other.

The other encounter I had came when Carlton and I took a walk in the woods. Suddenly he froze. I think he was trying to point like a hunting dog. We’d come upon an opossum along the stream bed. he must have smelled it, since he doesn’t see well.

Carlton was a good boy and followed me so the animal could go on about its business. It was a good walk the rest of the way. I’m glad I didn’t bring the Mighty Huntress Goldie or we’d have had another bloodbath. Ugh.

Other than enjoying birds, I enjoyed the horses. This morning I caught them at playtime, which involved Drew and Dusty nuzzling then running down the pasture to the pens, rearing and pawing, then running back. Dusty still has it in him! (Pictures are blurry because I was far away.)

Mabel eventually got into the running, but not the rest of it. I’ve noticed that she’s now strong enough to chase off any horse who tries to nip her.

Eventually Apache thundered back and forth until they all gathered around the hay bale. It’s nice to watch them play, and I’m glad they have the space to do so.

See, he doesn’t spend ALL his time staring into space.

Later I spent quality time with everyone, which is always so nice. Drew is a little pissy lately, since his head injury. But the other horses and Fiona were fine. I got all the burs off Mabel, even. I just have to wait until it’s her idea to have a petting session.

I had plenty of time to make dinner, and was so relaxed I didn’t even get upset when Dish Network didn’t have the channel where Sunday Night Football was. Lee just went over and set up the antenna he’d bought weeks ago for just such an eventuality. Boom. TV. It comes in great, actually.

I made a potholder or hot pad. It’s very thick, because I crocheted it with thermal stitch.

And yes, I wore jeans and a t-shirt today.

Daily Bird

I’m featuring the orange-crowned warbler today, because I’d never heard one here before, just on one camping trip. I didn’t see it, but I can sure ID one by sound now. It sounded like one of those rhythm instruments you scrape across in Latin music, usually five sets of scrapy sounds.

They only drop by here while migrating, according to the map.

A bird I saw a lot today was the Savannah sparrow. It’s a basic brown sparrow, but it’s everywhere this time of year. It and the pipit make little peeps.

I Am the Champion

No, I’m actually not the champion, but I’m very happy with myself and the beleaguered Apache, my equine partner in the last Working Horse Central show of the year. We’d been scheduled to go camping this weekend, but with no pet care, we canceled. I’m glad, because that let me go to the show.

Apache was jittery in Functionality, the first part of the show. I didn’t think I was, since I knew the dressage pattern and knew he could do all the parts. I was ready to try to improve our performance by showing what we’d learned, but I insisted got to show how to deal with a horse that decides not to leg yield or turn right at a trot, both things he knows how to do. We were at Tarrin’s, too, the place he practices.

But after some initial irritation, I let Apache chill in a stall, and he settled down. We ended up doing our best Trail pattern ever. We even did the gate! He really didn’t mess up anything but the side pass and a bit with the garrocha pole. But we did it all! I think we were pretty calm, too.

He refused to look perky, though. Still a zombie.

After enjoying watching Sara and the others do their parts (Aragorn seems to feel great and was a superstar), we did the final event, Agility. On this one you try to go as fast as possible. And we DID. We just zipped through the curtains, over the rails, on the slalom, and everywhere. If we hadn’t made some mistake I’m not certain of, we’d have won that one, because we were fast!

It was so much fun to do. It finally feels like we can be partners. We were turning and just plowing through. I’m so glad to have had this experience. It felt like we were really riding, not trying to ride, if that makes sense. Apache really seems to feel better now.

Sara said we look ready to canter. Ooh like the big kids. Hey, I may be slow, but I’m progressing. Everyone was happy for me, which felt great. Our little group is so supportive of each other that it’s hard to get down!

After the show there were end of year awards. It was cute to see how many awards and prizes the young competitors got. I think the littlest one would have been just as happy to just play in the mud obstacle with the Rottweilers.

Generous donors enabled us to have some very nice prizes for the winners in each division. I was very happy for Sara and Aragorn, who really worked hard and attended every show. She is the actual champion, in her Novice group.

Apache and I were second in Beginners to our friends Jacqui and Jambo. I really enjoy watching them! We had a lot of fun with our ribbons.

The winners of each group received beautiful belt buckles designed by one of the group moms. What a wonderful surprise. Sara sure deserves one for her effort. The big surprise was that the reserve champion in each group also got buckles. That means I got one, and it has turquoise on it!

I feel so legitimate now. I guess I always wanted to earn a buckle and work hard for it. Sara can wear hers to her next Working Equitation show! We are champions.

After last week having to abort any try at filming a virtual show entry, feeling connected and successful today was a real win. Life sure has its ups and downs! Today was up.