My spouse, Lee, has been studying Stoicism for the past year or two. He really enjoys The Daily Stoic podcast, by Ryan Holiday, who happens to be my boss’s best friend. Small world! Who knew? Holiday has a new book of meditations out, with new translations of the Stoics into modern English by Stephen Hanselman. Of course, Lee’s enjoying it greatly. He even got a special journal to record his own thoughts. That man LOVES to journal almost as much as I love to blog!
So, the passage for yesterday was:
Do away with the opinion I am harmed, and the harm is cast away, too. Do away with being harmed, and harm disappears.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.7, as quoted in The Daily Stoic, p. 119.
This is one of those topics we linguists love, especially those of us, like me, who are enamored of pragmatics. Not only do words have different meanings in different contexts, but tone of voice and intention can also change meanings. PLUS, the person hearing the words will interpret what is said through their filters. The same sentence with the same intonation can engender a hearty laugh or a world of hurt, depending on how it’s taken.
You have to like a guy who was a good horseman. From Britannica.
Assuming good intent is what it boils down to, right? It’s just like with the Little Free Library story yesterday! Susan could have interpreted the stolen books as an act of aggression or malice, but she instead chose to interpret it as a cry for help. I often find myself interpreting comments that could be taken as mean or passive aggressive as being the result of some issue I have no clue about. Thus, I do away with the harm, and it’s gone. Easier said than done sometimes, I must admit.
Well, shoot, those baby chicks are three days old already, so naturally it’s time for them to start having adventures or getting in trouble. They were fine this morning when I went in and gave Star some scratch to enjoy. Oh, and since my sister asked, I decided I better name them, so meet (left to right) Granite, Bronzer, and Steel. I figure those names are unisex and color-coded, so I can remember them.
Hello, we like to eat. And peep.
Lee and I went on an ill-fated trip to find him a zero-gravity folding chair to sleep in when we travel, and when we got back, I headed over to the chickens to give them some mealworms I’d bought for them (as if they don’t have enough insects).
I heard a great deal of peeping long before I got to the chicken run. Obviously something was wrong! Was something in there going after my babies? Was one of them hurt?
Steel had just pecked Star’s beak. I’m sure that’s her loving look. Chickens don’t have many expressions, sort of like cats.
I peeked inside the roosting area, and there was Star and two chicks. Bronzer was not there. And the loud peeping was from outside the roost. The biggest peeper had managed to jump up on the fine Hook ‘Em sign I’d used to block their exit and gone down the ramp. Uh oh.
Right as I figured that out, Star jumped through the opening and went to comfort Bronzer. There he/she/they was, bopping around and poking at grass and such. The chick was fine, just wanted MAMA! Great, I thought, I have to move her before I can get to the baby.
Yay, eating from the feeder. Note that Steel is already getting some new wing feathers.
I gamely went into the coop, and crawled through the chicken opening, which is not a semi-large human opening. I was wearing clean jeans. Note that I say WAS wearing clean jeans, since Star had been depositing large mama hen poops all over the place. I waved at her, and she ran back up to the other two chicks.
As I waited for little Bronzer to bop close enough to me to be caught I noticed something I’d forgotten about: there was a DOOR to that roosting area, for if you wanted to shut the chickens in there at night. Aha! It’s a really cheap and non-sturdy door, as only a Tractor Supply’s least expensive chicken coop would be likely to have. But, it shuts.
Bronzer is really big. Hope that doesn’t mean future rooster.
I chatted to Bronzer for a while, as my back got all frozen up, and did I mention it was extra windy and below 60 degrees? Yep. I was worried the little one would get too cold, after reading about keeping them at 95 degrees for the first week (that is Star’s job).
But, yay, my patience paid off and I easily picked up the chick. Figuring out how to back up in a very tight space holding a peeping and wiggling bird was the next challenge. Something was catching my shirt, but I managed. Whew. I plopped Bronzer back where they were supposed to be and managed to shut that door. Safety at last!
Thanks for the bugs, says Bertie Lee. They are nummy. I’ll lay you an egg later.
Now that Star can’t get out, either, I went and got her some adult chicken food and will put more in there tomorrow. I was very glad to see Bronzer eating away and looking no worse for wear. At the rate they are growing, I should be able to let them back out in a couple of days, anyway. I’m learning that chickens are pretty tough.
Star must have mites or something. She’ll get to have a dust bath soon!
Hope your adventures have good endings today like mine have!
You know, I talk a lot about assuming good intentions and treating others as you’d like to be treated (or as they let you know THEY would like to be treated). What’s GREAT is when I see this in action. Today I share a story from someone I’ve always admired. We can learn from her.
Susan is someone I went to grad school with back in good old Champaign-Urbana, Illinois. She actually got a job and used her linguistics Ph.D., which I admire greatly. She now lives somewhere else out in the great Midwest in the United States. I’m obscuring some details, since they’re irrelevant.
My friend’s Little Free Library in Taylor, Texas.
Well, as a lover of words, reading, and books, Susan started a Little Free Library outside her home. These are such great community builders, and I’ve always admired my friends, like Cindy in Taylor, who maintain them. Anita and I used to always walk by one when we lived in the casita, and we’d see what new books had turned up. The idea is you can take a book or two, and then leave a book you’re finished with for someone else to enjoy. They’re always decorated to look cute, and many places make zoning exceptions for them.
Everything is gone.
Well, over at Susan’s library, something went amiss. Four times in a week, someone had come by and totally cleaned out all the books. After replacing them three times, Susan was considering taking it down.
You can just imagine what went through her head or the heads of her friends. How rude of someone to do that! What has this world come to? No wonder we can’t have nice things! It just takes one creepy person to ruin a nice thing for everyone else! And such. These are probably the things that ran through MY head.
Susan’s a good person, though, and she thought hard about what to do about the thefts. Rather than write an angry note or take the library down, she thought about what might cause someone to be so desperate as to steal free books. And, bless her, she did a much kinder thing:
Yes, at the suggestion of an old friend of hers (also, obviously a good person), Susan filled her library with non-perishable food items. If the book thief was hungry, she was happy to help. Not only that, but she wrote a note, which I will quote below, leaving out specifics:
Hi!
Are you the person who has been taking all the books from this Little Free Library? Have you been selling the books because you need money? Are you hungry or hurting?
We’d really like it if you would leave the books for readers to read and exchange, but if you are hurting, perhaps we can help. Please take any or all of these groceries if you need them.
But a Little Free Library is not a food pantry—there are, however, food pantries in town you could turn to:
[Lists nearby pantries]
If it’s not just hunger, but other kinds of hurt, please consider calling the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255.
Wishing you the best,
The [location] Free Library Steward.”
Now, THAT is what I call assuming good intent and treating others like you’d wish to be treated. Rather than taking her toys in a huff, she reached out with empathy to someone who must be hurting or dealing with some pretty big issues. Rather than assuming it was just some mean library hater, she assumed her visitor could use a friendly word or a helping hand.
I’m taking this lesson to heart, and I hope you do, too. We can all try to be a little more like my role model, Susan. I’m very grateful to her for sharing this story.
Ah, the work week is over. I made it, and even did well. I only checked on the chicks three times today, and was able to watch one of them drink water. They’re definitely eating!
We did get more rain, but it let up in time to go see the horses with Sara. What a happy surprise it was to see little Bess along with her other cattle dogs. She’s such a cutie.
Look what I found!
Sara introduced her to Apache and told her not to chase Big Red. Big Red also told her! There’s certainly a lot for a young dog to learn!
I’m not chasing. I’m thinking about it.
After playing with Bess for a while, Sara went to get Ace. Bess was very interested, and watched intently.
There’s something big over there.
However, once that giant beast came walking up, Bess glued herself to my side, not taking her eyes off him. I petted her and told her she was okay. I could see her little ears trembling, so I volunteered to take her back to the house.
Puppies love a good stick.
Yeah, that was SUCH a burden, right? It’s so wonderful to hold a warm, soft living being who snuggles up to you and softly licks your fingers to show her contentment. Cattle dog pups are so soft, for dogs with such sturdy fur as adults. And since I was chilly from walking through the wet grass and getting jumped on by her tiny wet feet, she kept me cozy. Yep, love is a wet puppy.
Blurry cause she’s running so fast.
When I got my damp self back to the Hermits’ Rest, certain dogs were very aware I’d been with a puppy. Penney glued her nose to me for ten minutes. And when I sat down, with clean, dry clothes on, Harvey jumped into my lap (a new, awkward habit of his) and proceeded to sniff and drool extensively on my pants and shirt. I was all wet again.
Here’s a demonstration of Harvey gluing himself to someone. Both are very happy.
That Harvey. He really likes laps these days, especially Lee’s. And once he’s draped across you, you aren’t going anywhere for a while. I guess love is also a large wet dog.
This year is starting out to be a strange one. We had the snow and ice, we’ve had hot weather already, and we’ve had some lovely days. One thing we haven’t had much of is rain. Thank goodness the snow melted slowly and helped saturate the ground. That spring is still flowing, after all!
The rain gauge
Lee keeps detailed records of our precipitation, made even more accurate by our fancy rain gauge I got from being a Master Naturalist. He reports that so far, this year is on the way to being the lowest rainfall since we started keeping records after the big drought in 2010. Every month has been below average. It’s like the opposite of the citizenry of Lake Woebegon, where all the children were above average.
Pretty dark for mid afternoon!
It’s been gray and dreary for a few days now, but we’ve only gotten a few hundredths of inches of rain each day. It’s been enough to get the ground wet, but not very deep.
That’s big hail! (photo from JCB in Leander)
Yesterday was our best chance at some rain, so I prepared by closing the big window on the chicken hatchery area. Lee shut the garage doors after we saw that our friends in Leander got really big hail. It was no exaggeration to say it was golf-ball sized. I foresee a lot of new roofs going up down there, and a lot of cars getting hail damage removed. It was a bad as the hail I watched in 2009, which ruined my Forester, while I watched it happen from the yarn shop. At least that hail was smaller, just larger in quantity.
A hard rain’s a-gonna fall.
We were fine. Gracie’s been through much worse, and Carlton just don’t care.
When the storm finally got to us, though, it was just very hard rain (of which the dogs are NOT fans), and a good amount, at last.
So far we have less than an inch, but we may get some more. I always know if we got measurable rain by the puddles on the driveway. If we get puddles, the rain amounted to something. Maybe that will help the tanks stay filled and the creeks flowing a little longer.
We got apples! Yum!
I was glad to see all the birds made it just fine, domesticated and wild. I’m so glad I have Star taking care of the chicks, because I keep reading about how much work it is to keep the temperature perfect for raising chicks without a mama hen.
Star’s protecting while the chicks are eating.
Good ole Star just raises up a bit to cool them off and hunkers down to keep them warm, between bouts of eating and drinking.
Can you see a chick peeping out?
It’s really fun to watch them growing and getting more inquisitive. I got to show them to Mandi yesterday, too. It’s pretty great to be able to see your friends again. Vaccinations are making my world better, that’s for sure.
That’s who I feel like this morning. We invited a lot of people to join a book club on unconscious bias at work. There are two meetings, one early and one at mid day, so people in different time zones can attend. There were at least ten people who accepted, were tentative, or hoped to show up. It’s halfway through the meeting, and the only thing I see on Zoom is darned familiar looking.
That sure looks like me.
It sure is easy to fall into old patterns, insecurities, and negative self talk. Luckily, it didn’t last too long. I’m mature enough to know that people were busy, or they are too uncomfortable with unconscious bias to want to talk about it (very likely), or they forgot. I’m not the center of the universe, after all. I think I’m over somewhere near the edge, to be honest. Still, I have lots of other stuff to do besides Zoom, so it was irritating to have to just sit there and try to look cheerful, in case anyone showed up.
Ah well. I’ll end the meeting and see if anyone shows up at noon! I think some of the more interested people are on the West Coast, and by all rights they should still be asleep!
Time Marches On
Since I wrote the above, I’ve received a lot of kind feedback, most of which says it’s hard to get people to show up to book clubs at all. I think the only reason we had a good group at our previous work one is that we started pre-pandemic in person. The other reality is that unconscious bias is a difficult topic that many people might be reluctant to discuss. That’s valid.
Our learning and development group came up with some other ideas for discussion that aren’t book clubs, so we’ll try those, too. We just know people need a chance to talk about workplace concerns AND get to know each other, so we’re going to keep trying!
Hooray!
We had a great discussion at the second book club meeting! The West Coast contingent did show up! So glad I was patient. I enjoy facilitating meetings so much. It’s probably what I would do for a living if the introvert part of me didn’t get so darned exhausted from it. I truly get a LOT from hearing what other people think, and it always gets me thinking more. I’m going to really enjoy our unconscious bias book club! We’re reading The Leader’s Guide to Unconscious Bias, which has so many good questions to talk about!
As soon as I got a break from work meetings, I headed out to feed the flock and check on the new babies. I was happy to see that Star had at least moved them in the night. I was wondering if she’d ever move!
The fraternal triplets. Look how they differ in size and foot color!
It looked to me like no one had touched the food or water I’d put out, so I moved them closer to the chicks, and then sprinkled a little of the food on the surface. Once the gray chick took a peck at it, the other two joined in!
Hey! This is FOOD! Note the wary Mom head in most of my photos.
Pretty soon, Star ALSO realized there was food in there, and she started eating out of the food dish. I’m hoping that modeling will encourage the little ones to peck in the nice clean container, and maybe also figure out the water is over there.
We’re all eating now!
I feel like I helped the little dudes out a bit, and I sure got a lot of joy out of watching them eat. I assume they didn’t need to eat much the first day, but will need LOTS of food from now on!
I may be the smallest, but I ate first, chirps the gray one. I don’t have names yet.
I promise, no daily update posts, though I’ll probably sneak in some photos as they grow. I’m glad Star is a good mom so far!
I’m already hiding the gray one from you! And how dare you spend only $1.35 on our feeder!
Oh my gosh. Today got even better! There I was, talking to my boss, all serious-like, when Lee came in carrying something that looked like a small Carlton. Only it was GRACIE LOU! We hadn’t seen her in over a week!
Hello!
Of course, there was one place we hadn’t looked for her, and that’s where she was. She’d been in our garage storage room. One of us must have gone in there for some reason and she followed us in.
I’m still all happy and playful!
I have a sinking feeling it was me, because I vaguely remember going in there at some point. That guilt will stay with me forever, every time I look at that sweet face.
Thanks for freeing me. I need more variety in my diet.
I guess the “good” part is that we locked the right dog in there. Gracie, as I mentioned before, is a tough farm dog, despite her delicate good looks. It was obvious she had mice to eat in the storeroom and knew how to catch them. Wow.
No, Gracie is not Carlton.
We had to ration water when she first came back to the house, because we know too much water when you’re dehydrated isn’t great. She seems okay now, friendly and sweet as ever.
One thing we can’t figure out is why we never heard her barking. I spend a lot of time in the garage looking for eggs, after all. But, now that I think of it, I was in Austin last week! Ah! That explains it. Still, I didn’t hear her from Friday to today. It’s a mystery, I guess.
We’re here to distract you.
After all this drama, I went out to sit on the porch and stare blankly at the trees. I got to enjoy a fine show of Harvey, Penney, and Carlton chasing each other and playing. It’s like having my own circus act.
They’re doing acrobatics.
I’m so glad we found Kathleen’s sweet and tough dog. We’ve had enough losses and bad news lately!
ChickenUpdate
I made a mistake in my piece on waiting for the chicks to hatch! I said it took 15 days, and that’s totally wrong; it’s 21! I appreciate our supporter, Dorothy, for pointing that out and telling me how to candle eggs with a flashlight!
Well, that didn’t take long! An hour after I wrote my previous entry, I went over to check on star, and reinforce her door with some heavy stones. I heard PEEPS. I couldn’t see a dang thing, though.
So, I moved her aside, and there were two little black chicks, one who obviously had just hatched. I then looked on the other side, and there was a very perky brown chick who looks a lot like Buttercup. Yay! They all hatched!
Hi, I’m the Buttercup baby.
Star let me rearrange the food and water a bit, so the little ones can get to it, and then I left her so the third baby, who I’m guessing is hers, could dry out.
I see some white bits on this one! It’s Henley’s.
I’m so happy that they all made it, but a little sad that I barely missed the hatching. I do have to work, so I couldn’t sit there all day and annoy Star. I’m also proud that I got that chick food in there just in time, too!
I can’t tell, but I bet the new one is gray.
I was curious as to what the little fresh one would look like when dried off, so I went back, and sure enough, that’s a gray one, just like Star.
I look like my mom!
I let Bruce know he was a dad, but, as a rooster, he had no idea what I was talking about. He did strut a bit, nonetheless. He’ll figure out why soon enough, once his kids come downstairs. I’m also sharing photos of the mothers, just so you’ll see what they might look like later (depending of how much of Bruce’s good looks come through).
Happy Bruce
Pretty Bruce
Henley, mom of the black and white one
Buttercup, mom of the brown one
The rest of the family
For now, everyone is nestled under Star, recovering from the arduous hatching they had to do. When they come out, there’s food and drink waiting for them, so hooray!
They can just hop over and get food, whenever their mom lets them.
First, I want to thank everyone, especially blog reader Julia, for your helpful comments on yesterday’s essay on not being responsible for the happiness of another person. I hope it’s clear that I will always be available to support and help people I care about; I just don’t have a functioning magic wand to turn that frown upside down.
I’m still brooding over here. Get out of my face, says the fluffy Star.
I read that eggs take 21 days to hatch, so today may be the day Star’s three eggs hatch. I haven’t “candled” them (no tools) to see if there’s a developing baby in there, so I have no idea if any of the eggs are actually viable. If they all hatch, we will have mothers who produce white, tan, and brown eggs, all fathered by Bruce, who carries the gene for blue eggs.
My feathers are all ruffled at the thought of being a daddy, declares Bruce.
If any chicks turn out to be hens (oh please!) they should lay olive eggs. Won’t that be fun?
Yesterday I brilliantly realized I hadn’t gotten chick feed. Oops. I got the medicated kind, because I can’t give a chicken a shot, even though I got a demo once. While I was at the local farm store/boutique/dry cleaners, I got a small feeder and waterer that will fit in the nest box area.
I got all worried last night that newborn chicks would fall out of the nesting area. So, I put a rectangular, wood sign up across the entrance that should block the chicks but let Star climb over and get out to eat adult chicken food.
I have to keep up my strength for protecting these chicks, if they hatch, says Star.
I hope to get some help with a better system soon, but I did my best! Now I just have to stay patient. I drank a lot of liquid patience (that’s what my new coffee mug from the Bling Box says) this morning, to reinforce it.
Obviously, I’ve been using this mug as hard as I can!
I’m really glad there are these positive and interesting things going on at the ranch right now, because my anxiety levels are absolutely through the roof. I just keep going outside, looking at the life all around me, and breathing. I’m trying to work on the things I can affect and let the things that are out of my range of influence just drop. That’s what Lee said a Stoic would do.
The distraction today was how many different pollinators were buzzing around the false dandelions over by the chicken run. I saw at least four different kinds, ranging from tiny hoverflies to a long-horned bee about the size of a honeybee.
A bee and a hoverfly!
Bees and hoverflies
It’s a big bee.
We have also had very, very large ground bees or something like that flying around. They are different from bumblebees in that they hover and dart around very fast. On iNaturalist, they identified one of my photos as a bumblebee and one as a carpenter bee, but judging from the behavior, I think it’s the latter.
I do know what my last photo is, because I managed to look it up. It’s Carolina bristlemallow with seeds. They look so interesting, don’t they?
I’m sincerely hoping you have something interesting and maybe even fun to distract you from whatever challenges you’re facing today. We’re all in it together, and I’m busy trying to make my own happiness over here. Sure I am.
The Hermits' Rest 