The Hermits' Rest

Downs

We all have our ups and downs. Today was a down. Reached out in friendship to someone and was told they were too busy. Heard too many sad things about international news. Bullies. They are everywhere.

I’m concerned about the health of a family member. And Drew was just plain ornery today when we went to try to practice at Sara’s. Eh. He is a very fast galloper when he’s scared, though.

Things aren’t all bad; I’m just exhausted. I was so tired at one point today, when I still had to keep going and going that I was about to cry.

On the other hand, Anita’s house is almost done. Love her bathroom.

Normal Horse Activity

This is exciting! Sara and I rode our horses around our pastures and it was uneventful! Woo!

I promised I’d just write about horses for a while. So yep. Aragorn and Apache were good guys and checked out lots of stuff with a minimum of acting up. It wasn’t perfect, but it was way better. I’m so glad to be able to have fun with our horses again.

Aragorn did great opening gates, too. What a guy. He’s so much calmer. We are all developing our partnership.

It’s happy for me, in the horse department.

The yarn came for my next baby blanket project. It has sparkles.

That’s all I’ve got. Peace out.

Who’s Afraid?

I’m not sure if “afraid” is the right word for what I want to talk about. I think I aim here to make the point that we aren’t all that different from people in societies we’ve been told to feel sorry for because they are not free to be their true selves. What got me thinking about this is all the commentary I’m seeing from all sides about Russia just deciding one day to take over a neighboring country because their leader decided it wasn’t really a country. I’m sure glad Mexico hasn’t done that to Texas, which used to be part of Mexico.

I felt like expressing that I care about the people there by wearing my shirt and watchband that have sunflowers on them. I think the watchband is a handy way to remind me to send of my good thoughts/prayers throughout the day. Of course, I’m also sending good thoughts to the average citizens of Russia, who have no control over what their leadership does. Oh, the poor people of those two countries, right?

Well, wait a minute. Why am I acting like they are any different from me? I certainly have little to no influence on what wars and conflicts the leaders of the country where I reside engage in, even though those may well put me in danger someday. And locally, there’s nothing I can do about fellow citizens who act like they are ready to mow me down just for having the nerve to want to get along with others and not thinking I’m any better than anyone else just because of who my ancestors are.

I feel like I live in the land of the free, as long as I am free to agree with the people with the weapons aimed at my property. Yep, just like people in the Ukraine or Russia. I don’t want to harm anyone and don’t mind disagreeing with others, which for some reason is so threatening to my neighbors that I am careful to not go around in public acting all peaceful, caring for people who are different from me, and practicing a different religion from most of them.

I bet the Russian cows love their children, too.

I was always told growing up how sad it was that people in the USSR had to toe the line and reject religion, democracy, and such. I was told how terrible it was that in China they went and killed all the intellectuals or put them in work camps, because they were dangerous with all those ideas and such. No, I was repeatedly told, we Americans are not lemmings who would march lockstep off a cliff if our fearless leader told us to do so. We aren’t married to just one ideology. No, we’re free.

I’m not doing what anyone tells me. I’m a horse, says Dusty.

Look out the window. Is that what you see? I see me afraid to express my thoughts or opinions, even among people I care about and wish the best for. Welcome to the oligarchy. Hey there totalitarian dudes! Enjoy running the place.

I also love the tiny bluets. Who wouldn’t?

I do plan to stick around as long as I can, though. I love this land, and the land doesn’t care who’s in charge. And I love the people in my community. All of them. Nothing will stop me from wanting the best for them. As Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” I’m with him.

This was a bit whiny. I know perfectly well that it is way worse elsewhere, like Russia, where I couldn’t complain. I’ve been shaken by Texas elections and probably over-reacted. My main worry is that dissent may be stifled in the future, and we need dissent. On all sides.

Let’s Just Get a Little Hay…gone awry

So…this afternoon, Lee said he’d help me get some hay with the new trailer (I keep calling her Tillie). That gave him a chance to try out pulling it with his Tahoe. He got all the towing settings engaged, and I got to bond with Vlassic. I miss rides with him.

Friends. I know it’s kind to let him stay with Lee’s brother, who needs a companion, but I miss Vlassic.

The getting of hay went just fine. It was just in time, as my horses had just finished the last two bales. I wish I’d gotten pictures of Drew when the trailer showed up. He came right up, greeted Lee, then got all interested in Tillie. There’s a horse who isn’t afraid of a trailer, especially one with hay in it.

We went to leave the pasture and that’s when things went awry. Lee could not get between the shipping container and the stuff next to the fence.

Lee was not about to give up. He went and fetched the tractor and started moving stuff. It still wasn’t enough.

He kept inching forward in the car, then moving more stuff. It was pretty funny watching him try to move some heavy poles and awkward lengths of fencing. Here are the stages.

I did help by moving some stuff I could carry. And still, poor Lee had to manually move some fencing. But he did it! Tillie and the Tahoe made it out. We were able to load all the trash from the container so it can go away! That’s a big step towards the tack room getting set up and the container holding hay.

The shipping container behind the horse pens is now at work holding renovation leftover, so everything is in its place.

And finally, there was still time to get in my first ride on Apache since he got home. It went pretty well, and the few times he tested me, I coped fine. We went all over the field and did some trotting around. Whew.

We even got to sit outside this evening and just chat. Sure, there are challenges and concerns, but by gosh we can move those obstacles, too. At least in our little world. Let’s hope those of us facing much larger challenges in the world can move their obstacles, too.

It’s All Good Until You Start Feeding Dog Treats

What a beautiful day it was. I think we needed a reminder that Mother Nature is still doling out the beauty to at least briefly distract us from the things humans do to each other.

As a reward for doing my least favorite thing about work (Agile stuff, not vital to this story), I tidied up the pool area and gave my back some more hot water love. I heart the hot tub.

Later, after feeding the precious horses, we checked out the trailer lights. Ooh. There’s even an interior light for night loading and unloading!

I’m pretty excited to use the trailer. I was glad they checked out the lights and other safety features. So shiny.

It was a good evening to rest on our laurels and tell each other we appreciate our efforts. I think Lee even set up the auto-fill system on the pool! We’re really enjoying it. What else do we enjoy? Sunsets, of course. Tonight’s was cherry red at times. Thanks, Mother Nature.

All was well until I opened the monthly Bark Box. I handed out really cute chew toys, then opened a box of dog treats. I handed them out to each dog, which got them all excited. I realized Alfred hadn’t gotten one, so I reached over to give him one and Harvey jumped up to steal it. Unfortunately, he also got my thumb. Ow. It was an accident.

May the sun warm all our brothers and sisters who are afraid, worried, or suffering.

Oh My Aching Back

It was a good Sunday, but it did feature a lot of lifting and toting. That’s because Lee and I moved everything from the new horse trailer to the red shipping container. There was also a lot of disgusting stuff in the container that had to be removed. Much of it was mouse droppings from when it had gotten left open in its previous location. Sigh.

But before that we went to get Apache after his two weeks of training. I hate being late, but Lee forgot we were going and then we were out of gas…but we made it. We brought Drew, who also was disinclined to go anywhere. But we had to look at his foot with the sarcoid on it.

He was all muddy, so Tarrin washed his leg so we could see how much the tumor had grown. After he got clean, we were pleasantly surprised.

It turns out what we saw yesterday was mud with blood on it. Tarrin says she’s pretty sure it’s smaller, not larger. What a relief! It will be a lot easier to treat at that size.

I’ll have to put some stuff that’s sort of like glue on it every four days for a few months, but this treatment has been effective for lots of horses. And I don’t have to go to the vet, since it’s a small sarcoid. I’m sure glad I didn’t have to deal with this alone!

As for Apache, he apparently was a real good fellow all week, even with the bad weather. Plus he got to stay in a stall. Cushy! I got right on him and off we went. He did everything I asked out in the pasture, even trotting. I now feel equally fine walking and trotting. What an improvement!

I enjoyed looking at birds all the way home. Even from the car I got a couple of pictures. I missed a harrier and a bluebird, but these guys were fine.

It’s good we got a break, because we then spent 3 hours on the trailer-to-container move. This involved many dust and dropping particles.

I’m tired. Proof we did wear masks. It’s so handy we always have masks around. Perhaps I have too many colors.

There was a little oopsie when Lee picked up a pallet of concrete by piercing one of the bags of concrete he was moving rather than the pallet. But, we did it. So many heavy objects, most of which will get moved to the tack room once it’s set up.

I gotta say we will be styling once we can use the trailer with the Tahoe. So coordinated. All a coincidence, of course.

There’s a lot to look forward to. I’m glad I have help and a team to keep things fun and safe.

I can’t wait to go for a ride on Apache! And next week we are going to a clinic. We haven’t done that in so long. right now, though, my back really hurts and the hot tub beckons. That thing is a godsend.

Part 2: Still Don’t Like Unpacking and Still Worried about Drew

There have been developments! There will be more! So, I’ll start with Drew. Once Drew’s trainer started texting me after I posted yesterday, it came back to me that when I picked him up, she’d mentioned that he had a spot that might be an injury or might be “a little sarcoid.” That had slipped my mind. Here’s his lovely leg.

It is not enhanced by the fact that it has been raining all day. That means it’s above freezing, which is dandy, but it’s still pretty darned cold, and wet, cold horses are pretty miserable. Fiona and Dusty seem particularly unhappy. I’m looking forward to it warming up and drying out tomorrow. The icky weather also makes Drew’s leg look worse. I can’t see the issue very well for all the mud, wetness, and blood.

I think the area has grown since I made it bleed a few weeks ago. I read that it is a possibility.

So, Tarrin said it’s not an injury, but a sarcoid tumor. You hear the word tumor and get all scared, at least if you’re like me and the daughter of someone who died of lung cancer. But, she kept telling me there are resources, she is there to help, and we can deal with it. I did my best to believe it.

Sara reminded me that her horse, Spice, has been dealing with sarcoids the past couple of years. She kept putting stuff on them, as I recall. The good news is that it’s not deadly, just not pretty.

Of course, I went off to the internet to read up on equine sarcoidosis. Every article repeated that only very rare ones are deadly, and that it’s the most common form of cancer in equines. I read about all the different types, and figure Drew has the kind that spurts when disturbed, because, well, his spurts when disturbed. The article I linked to here is the best one I read, and the most updated. It talks about lots of new therapies and treatments that are under development, all of which made me feel fetter.

Tomorrow, when I go to pick up Apache, I’ll take Drew so Tarrin and I can look at the foot together and figure out a plan. I assume veterinarians and money will be involved, but that’s fine. He’s my buddy, and I want to help him. We do have an immediate plan, which is to separate him from the other horses. That’s because they are big on kicking and biting and are also biting his poor coat all over. I’m going to put Apache and Fiona in with him, since they are pretty chill. Let’s hope that remains true.

I’ll get them some hay and give them half the shelter, so each group of horses will have shelter and their space as the grass starts growing and they have more to eat. The smaller area will be good for Apache, anyway. I’m sure glad I had Tarrin’s ideas to help me figure this stuff all out! And I’m glad I have Sara as a resource, too, since she has some leftover medicine. I need to remember I’m not alone and have help and support nearby.

The horses better love me, since I went back and forth feeding them and getting their troughs refilled with water this evening. It was a big ole mess, so I am glad we have the water back on. The fish will be glad, too.

Unpacking?

I did say there was an unpacking part 2. Yes, since it was raining, I forced myself to do more unpacking and organization, this time in my closet. I still had a bunch of clothing to sort through and clean clothing to hang up. I also hate doing that. But, I did it! I got rid of the hangers I don’t like and gave them to Lee, who does like them. And I labeled all my boxes that I’d recently put stuff in.

I’d had a lot of trouble organizing my jewelry, but at last have it all done, too. I didn’t realize how much I love costume jewelry until it was all in one house! Eek. I know there will be more organization needed as I bring more things in from the other house, but I think I have a plan. Wish me luck.

Closet, all walls but the wall o’ shoes.

I shared this photo of my closet on Facebook and got everyone all in a tizzy at its size. I probably should not have taken one of those wide-angle photos! It does make the room look immense. Please note that it is not luxurious other than the slab of marble on top of custom cabinets in the middle. That IS nice. Everything else is simple stuff from particle board.

Allow me to remind anyone who’s new and didn’t follow us building the Hermits’ Rest house that there are reasons that the closets and bedroom upstairs are larger than in a usual house. The original plan was for a house with a reasonable sized bathroom, closet, and bedroom on the second floor. But, we decided to build the house more like a “barndominium” than a standard house, with a steel frame. The people erecting the frame said it would be way easier, and more structurally sound if the house was more rectangular and the second floor the same approximate size as the first. We said okay.

That widened the second floor and allowed us to turn three knee-wall closets into three big ones, so Lee has two closets the size of most normal main bedroom closets. I had the kitchen enlarged by the architect, because I wanted an island. That added 6 feet or so to the kitchen. Guess what is above the kitchen? My closet. So, with four extra feet on the exterior and six extra feet on the inside, my closet ended up the size of a normal bedroom. I do know I am lucky. But I didn’t plan the house to make the closet big, it just benefited.

I hope you enjoyed my excuses for the hugeness of my closet. Our bedroom is equally huge, but I guess that’s good since it is now also Lee’s office and a sitting room. As I mentioned in my “Trapped” post, I only have 1/8 of the bed and a side table. But, hey, I enjoy the coffee in there. I’m trying to cope better.

Confessions: I Hate Unpacking and Worry about Drew

I’ll get this out of the way then share today’s events in our little ranch world. Yes. I hate unpacking. I especially hate it right now when every box is a surprise that I’m not prepared for. That’s what I get for not doing the packing on my previous abode.

Lee is very kind and has been bringing one or two boxes a day. Yesterday I found my collection of purple glass, which once lived in my periwinkle bathroom. I no longer have a periwinkle bathroom. So it’s in my terra-cotta bathroom window. I do have a purple guest bath, so maybe it can go there one day, when it isn’t actively in use.

This interlude is brought to you by melting ice.

I’ve had to figure out where many things go that I don’t have places for, since the big furniture items aren’t over here yet, most of which are storage items. Yay. I really need a linen closet, too, and maybe when the laundry room cabinets no longer hold stereo equipment, I can use that. Until then, bags and boxes sit around and bother me.

In good news of our tiny world, it looks like Buttercup, Peeper’s mom, has started laying again. That made me happy, until the egg slipped out of my hand and cracked. Egg. It’s for dinner.

In bad news, Drew is a bit of a mess. He had an injury on his leg when he was at Tarrin’s. We were not concerned. I accidentally hit it when grooming a couple of weeks ago, and it spurted blood, which I mentioned, I’m pretty sure. I was glad there was so much first aid stuff in the new trailer.

Well, today when I fed him, his little leg was all red. He must have gotten kicked or something. The water is all turned off because of the cold, so I could not work on it. I think the weather is getting better, so tomorrow or Sunday he can get a bath. He does have fancy new shampoo, though, to make him shiny and whiter.

What I wish Drew and I were doing. Photo by *@jesslowcher via Twenty20*.

Also, though, the other horses are hard on him, and he has all these missing hunks of hair. The older four horses who are here are always going after each other, so I guess he is getting it. I’m sure it’s normal, but Apache and Spice were never that nippy, so it’s new to me.

Fighting for dominance is everywhere, I guess, even our little world. Don’t get me started with chickens and the pecking order.

Ducking and Covering

I was a child during the Cold War. I was petrified of atomic bombs. We had duck and cover drills in school, as if hiding under a desk would do us any good. I had nightmares about bomb shelters for decades. I don’t want to go to sleep tonight. Baby Suna might take over and return those dreams.

I never thought the threats would resurface. I thought our leaders were more interested in money than power. Maybe the current situation is about money after all.

No one should have to live like this. Our brothers and sisters in the Baltics and Russia should not have to live in fear of their neighbors. They should not have to feel the need to fight their neighbors. I’m so disappointed in humans. Again.

In my mind I’m 6, not nearly 64 and covered in wrinkles.

I feel sick for the everyday people of the world who have lies fed to them to rile them into hatred. That’s here where I live, too. It’s so disheartening.

Sure, like I said earlier today, many of us are having good lives right now. It can go in a flash, though. I’ll leave you with a Bible verse, for the first time ever.

And his power shall be mighty, but not by his own power: and he shall destroy wonderfully, and shall prosper, and practise, and shall destroy the mighty and the holy people.
Daniel 8:24, New King James Version

Applies to more than one would-be emperor, I think. Dark times. And we are unable to affect them. Powerless. Resigned. Curled up in a ball like the dogs.

Back to the Serenity Prayer for this pagan hermit. And I’m not gonna duck and cover. I’m not interested in living in one of those apocalyptic times.

(PS I do know more about nuclear warfare and such than I did at age 6 and think that other methods of genocide are now preferred.)

The World Collapses, But I Feel Okay

This morning I was listening along with Lee to his morning podcasts when one of them (sorry, I forget which one) began to discuss a phenomenon that is not uncommon today. People report that they are experiencing a good time in their lives, with positive experiences, interactions, and situations. Yet those same people are concerned about the fact that outside of their own little bubble, things seem to be going downhill in alarming ways.

Today is a more alarming than usual day, especially for those of us with friends or family in Ukraine or Russia. I’m especially concerned about the everyday citizens who have nothing to do with the posturings and agendas of their political leaders. I’m one of those people here in the US, so it isn’t hard to imagine what regular folks who just want to earn a living, enjoy their families, and have some fun are dealing with right now in both places. It’s worse for people like me, since random wars are always hard on pacifists. And no, I am not going to apologize for being a nonviolent person, no matter how much it might offend people who treasure violence or at least the possibility of being violent.

Even with all the turmoil going on around me in my family and very small (but fabulous) circle of friends, I keep thinking this may be the best time of my life. I’ve achieved a lot of my goals, minimized people and things that bring me down, and have a comfortable life. I’m even dealing with the inevitable little hiccups (like the heater going out AGAIN on the main floor of my house, where my home office is) pretty well. I’m quite happy as long as I keep to the things I have some control or influence over.

I have influence on my desk, so I made it cheerful.

Maybe people were happier back in the times when the news of the world wasn’t blasting in their ears 24/7 and all drama was local drama. Sure, if invaders attacked, it was bad, but the rest of the time, you weren’t worried about the invaders on the other side of the planet.

Perhaps it’s crafts overload, but it all makes me happy.

No wonder so many people are becoming more hermit-like and just staying away from all the things that threaten others. I wish I were better at it, but I still rail at Texas politicians who are fighting to take away the rights of my family and friends, just as others rail at rights they feel are being threatened. We’re all the same, it seems, just with different focuses (foci). I’m working to care about all of us, but not internalize it to where it eats away at my ability to see what is good around me.

Come visit me and relax in what I hope will soon be my retreat area.

Also, the heat came on. Yay?