Ranch Life – Page 44 – The Hermits' Rest

Better Days Do Come

Sometimes when you have a long string of anxious and worried days, it’s nice to have one that builds you up. I hate it when I’m dealing with annoying physical symptoms and I’ve done all I can to get my equilibrium back, but the truth is sometimes I just have to wait it out. Today helped!

I got to enjoy what passes for fall color in College Station Today.

Penney woke me up by wigging and licking like crazy for about an hour, so I got up, looked at the damp day, and did my nails with a set I’d looked forward to using, which looked like a brocade cloth with big flowers on it. It didn’t go on really great, but it perked right up when I added some gaudy jewels I had hanging around. Now the whole thing looks over the top, but it cheers me up.

After talking to the chickens, I headed over to the place I got them, Bird and Bee Farm, where our Master Naturalist wildscape project is located. I rarely have time on their special days to get out there, so I was glad I had a while to drop by.

I’d intended to take photos of all the butterflies, but it was still too damp in late morning for them to be out. Even the bees were still napping.

My friend Debi and I looked at all the flowers and found lots of caterpillars and a cat.

All these black ones came up as salt marsh moths

It was so pleasant just wandering around and seeing what is still hanging around this time of year. The dew was so heavy that it made for fine photo ops. It’s nice to photograph non-wildflowers like roses and zinnias occasionally

I hung out with birds a bit, and heard a new wren on Merlin, a sedge wren. I wish I’d seen it because it sure looks cute in its photo online. Instead, here are turkeys.

After talking a while with other Master Naturalists, I had to leave. I hope Patsy notices I put my nails in the blog for her.

The reason I had to leave was that I had my second watercolor class at Brazos Watercolor Retreats in College Station. We learned to paint trees with sunlight pouring through them. There were lots of new techniques to learn, like making white space by putting some rubbery stuff on the paper before painting. I also learned to make the sun rays.

I didn’t do a great job on the tree part, but I know what I’d do differently if I tried again. For a first try, I’m fine with my finished product. Maybe I should get some paints, brushes, and paper. It’s fun to see how the colors come out.

I even made it home in time to feed the horses before it was too dark, which makes it a lot easier to give Apache his medicine. They have a new bale of hay, and judging from the holes in the wet ground, they had a good time running around after they escaped while the tractor was going in. Those little dickenses.

So, yay, today has been fine enough that I’m handling learning about a few deaths in my circle pretty well. I have plenty of energy to send out love to all the families and friends, which feels really good.

Hug a loved one.

Work Hard. Get Rewarded.

It’s not often that your hard work gets tangibly rewarded. For my paying work, knowing I’ve done my best and that what I’ve done may help someone is enough. This week I’ve been quite satisfied to get a lot of that kind of work done.

Some hard work feels very unrewarding, but must be done. I’ve suffered through a lot of financial work this week, which may explain while I’m still having anxiety chest pains. But I’ve trimmed some expenses and added money to my 401K. That’s the direction where I want to go!

But tonight I did get a reward. Last week I attained 1,000 volunteer hours with Texas Master Naturalists, which was not easy while working full time and owning horses. My friend who also got the achievement took two fewer years than me! I’m proud of Eric, though. He does great work.

My reward was a gold dragonfly pin. I got bronze for 250 hours and silver for 500. It will be years before I get another one!

So many pins. The colored dragonfly is for initial certification. The enamel pins are for at least 40 volunteer hours and 8 training hours each year. The bottom pins we got for sticking with the program through COVID.

It was nice seeing a full house at tonight’s meeting, with three visitors, even. We enjoyed a great presentation on lichen, where I learned a LOT. I apparently knew very little about lichen. Did you know they are a symbiotic combo of a fungus and algae? And they have a fascinating structure. Now I want to buy a black light flashlight and go out and see which ones glow.

We are getting good rain again tonight. That’s so good for the ponds. It will probably knock those few autumnal orange leaves I found today down. It’s ok. I see birds better that way.

Time Is Not Real

Do you need time?

But it feels like it. Just like I can’t be my higher self and live in the moment, I feel like it’s necessary to act like time marches forward since everyone else thinks it does.

The Temperature Blanket, current as of November 6, acts like time is real.

I had more things in the bullet journal to do today than I was able to get to. That’s even with working on videos while doing my helping calls. But I’ll start again.

Trying to get burs out of horse manes and tails required way more time than there were hours in the late afternoon. But I got Apache’s mane cleared off and I got him to eat his medicine. Tarrin was right. Burying it in senior horse feed got him to eat.

It was a hard day. Money stuff was hard. Horse stuff was hard. Work was work-like. I’m still full of anxiety but I got back on my medication. I hope I don’t leave it next time I go camping!

I did have time for lunch with the friends and to check out progress on the new bakery being renovated in town. That will be another great addition to downtown Cameron!

It’s an extra cheerful blue now. Quite an improvement.

Secretly I’m sending tons of good thoughts for friends dealing with the consequences of mishaps and accidents that happened to loved ones. Know you’re in my thoughts, friends.

In Three Years?

What will your life be like in three years?

I’m pessimistic about life in three years, and it creeps into my nightmares.

I will probably stop working in Corporate America by then. I hope there’s still Social Security.

I’m three years I’ll still find tiny baby insects cute.

We may have to go somewhere we feel safer. Texas elected officials make policies that worry me, as someone who’s not an evangelical Christian white guy.

I’m not sure there will be places not run by extremist dictators in three years to go to.

And it will be hot and dry.

Hope I can still have horses. Though at the moment mine are getting on my last nerve. I’m addition to each being covered by burs, there’s this.

Drew broke the water line to the trough. It flew 20 feet. Drew then thought it was a snake and huffed at it.

All the people turning on each other with intolerance and cruelty messes with my mind. I think that’s actually a reasonable response.

Oh, I’ll probably just keep trying to be kind and work for peace in my own way. Mother Nature will still be here. Love will be here. They both may just be harder to find.

International Day of Peaceful Rationality

Invent a holiday! Explain how and why everyone should celebrate.

Today’s prompt made me think, especially in light of all my efforts at bringing peace into my soul the past few days. I’d love a holiday that encourages people to sit back and drop their antagonistic thoughts toward “the other” for a day and work together to create sensible, rational solutions to the issues that conspire to keep all of us from having the chance to live meaningful, productive lives.

I saw a belted kingfisher and a bunch of fish jumping today!

I predict my holiday could lead to arguments over the meaning of peace and the relevance of rationality. But I can dream, can’t I?

Some of us live in peace and safety, like this little buck. Most of us live in a world full of deer feeders fattening us up to feed someone else.

I’m cynical today. Sometimes the news makes you feel even less optimistic than others. And this is after hiding in the woods for a few days. I’m still in the woods, but it was a long work day. I’m happy my office setup works so well. It’s really freeing to be able to work anywhere you have bandwidth.

I’m ready to get home and take care of the animals myself. I hope Apache’s new meds arrived and will work out. I hope humans work things out, too, but I’m betting on the horse.

What’s your holiday?

Dirt. Wet Dirt. Dry Soon.

Well, there’s no longer a stream flowing through the front of my property. The water company finally found out about our little oasis and fixed the broken water line. I am glad for their sake.

Goldie found it a great opportunity to bark. Good thing I was not recording today.

We enjoyed watching them work. My favorite part was when they dug up the very wet dirt to get to the broken pipe. The dirt was so much warmer than the air that it steamed! Have I mentioned we have had a cold snap? There was frost this morning.

I think you can see steam if you enlarge it. Pretty dirt, though!

They dug and dug and it sure was wet.

I didn’t see this, but I heard they threaded the new pipe through the old pipe, which seemed like a smart idea to me. Then, boom, they cleaned up. It really looks good. Our soil in this part of the ranch is sure pretty, if a bit on the clay side (that’s ok, we also have sand and loam).

I went and checked, and yep, no water is flowing into the usual spot the stream starts from. Now it will only flow between now and spring when it rains. Poor little wild animals will have to drink out of the ponds. I guess I worry about them needlessly, since the ponds didn’t dry up this year after they got enlarged last year.

When Your Furry Family Member Gets You Angsty

Describe a family member.

I didn’t realize the prompt today would fit with what I wanted to write about today. But it does. I’ve had some of the worst anxiety symptoms and bad dreams I’ve had in years since Friday. Ugh. I get strong chest pains, tightness in my head with ringing sounds, and weakness in my legs. None of this is pleasant. At least my anti-anxiety meds work most of the time!

But, it turns out that, while I only get moderately stressed out about the numerous health issues in my immediate family, a sick horse throws me for a loop. And by the way, he’s no sicker now than he was last week, but knowing something was wrong got me full time of worry, angst, anxiety…and guilt.

I guess I’m unhappy to find out that Apache’s blood test results were extra bad (like 400 where high normal is 40) for ACTH. This means that, as we’ve always suspected, he has PPID or Cushing’s desease. The link tells you what the tests he took were, and we’re from the place doing the testing. His insulin wasn’t bad, which is good news.

Don’t panic. Medicine is on order that will reduce his symptoms and make him feel much better, though it won’t fix his endocrine system, which has probably been bad his whole life. We’ve just been managing the heck out of his symptoms.

Why have I been so upset? It’s because this furry family member has meant so much to me. He’s the first horse I learned to take care of and to ride, so he’s dealt with all my learning experiences and mistakes. Conversely, I’ve dealt with all his issues and idiosyncrasies, along with his curiosity, eagerness to learn, humor, and patience.

Don’t forget my beauty, other than the furry coat and sweating.

He and I each have our challenges, but we’ve stuck together through bad feet, poor horsemanship, anxiety (both of us), and changes. And in the past year or so, we’ve finally become a real team and started having fun. There’s been a lot of growth going on for both of us.

So Friday, when I found out the vet was supposed to have sent me those test results but I didn’t have them, and I got the impression they were bad, no amount of me telling myself that getting upset wouldn’t change things worked. I just fell apart and got mentally dysfunctional. I mean, internally. I did all my stuff and acted fine. I just hurt inside. I care so much about my animals.

I was mainly feeling bad that I didn’t get the testing done earlier, like I’ve let him suffer needlessly. I was concentrating so hard on his feet, muscles, and diet that I missed this. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to get haltered some days, or why he gets squirrelly on rides…blah blah blah. I’m just making stuff up at this point, but I guess that’s what you do when you think you could have helped but didn’t.

My hope it’s that by talking about my relationship with my Paint/Arab companion of lo these many years I’ll help myself feel better. He will be on his way to feeling better as soon as those meds arrive, and we’ll take it from there.

I’ll remember good stuff like hearing the sandhill cranes migrating overhead.

We will both be fine, especially if folks treat us kindly and gently. I don’t need to be made to feel worse with a bunch of, “Why didn’t you…?” And “You should have…” stuff. I just need ways to move forward and live the rest of our time together positively and happily. The horses and my inner circle are what keep me going!

Resources

Equine Cushing’s and Testing

Equine Endocrinology

Am I Unfaithful to the Temperature Blanket?

What’s this? I’m knitting with hand spun yarn (by a person named Genevieve) that’s distinctly not acrylic sport weight. Why, it’s wool, silk, and sparkles! It’s not making a mitered square. It’s in the round!

I’m enjoying doing something different, using my pretty wood yarn bowl, and feeling natural fibers. It’s a K1 P1 cowl. I need one for all this outdoor stuff I do. But I’m not being unfaithful.

The thing is that I finally, after all this time, caught up to today! And since a cold front just blew through, I’m not sure what today’s low will be. You can see the last ten days were pretty okay. Not over 95° so I didn’t have too much heat trouble.

However, as you can see, we’ve finally had a rainy spell. And with rain came humidity. So sweating had occurred. You can easily spot the 6” of rain we had this week!

So, from now on, I’ll knit a square per day. I’m looking forward to the cooler colors for the next few days. I even ordered more blue, optimistically. And I’ll make a few little things. I seem to have lost all my fingerless mitts or moths ate them, so I guess that’s next.

I can’t write about much else. I’m pretty anxious right now. Send me good thoughts. Knitting helps some, as will a visit from friends this evening.

A Different Me

What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?

Here’s a prompt I was interested in. I was really stuck on a career path until I was about 26 and realized I didn’t want to write about little syllables at the ends of Japanese words the rest of my life. But I loved the teaching of linguistics. I love teaching anything.

Todays illustrations are cool cloud formations from today.

The first path I should have considered was getting a degree in music education so I could teach choral music and sing in choruses. That seems more likely than making a living in folk-rock.

Another path would have been to switch my college major to biology once I realized how good I was at it. I could have gotten to do field research and written marginally more interesting scientific papers…or taught biology. Still, I’d get to hang out in nature for a living. But I’d have ended up specializing in maggots or something, knowing my luck.

I could have done forestry and become a park ranger? Right now that’s my vote, especially if I could ride horses in the forest.

I seriously considered a career change in mid life to work in a yarn shop and teach knitting and design patterns. I enjoy doing that still, but I’m not creative or driven enough to actually make a living at it. I sure admire my friends who do it, though.

Someday I’d like to write a book that’s got a plot. Obviously I have a lot of words in me. They just need more structure than a blog! I do write for my job, but honestly, I’d be writing every day no matter what. Maybe I’d write letters. Maybe I’d write poems or songs. Who knows? I just enjoy making sentences. That’s not a different me; the writer is the real me.

I don’t think photography is a potential career path.

So…what are your alternative careers?

It’s the Most Water-full Time of the Year

Yessir. These days we tend to have a few months of drought, a couple of dribbles, then WHOOSH! A big ole flood comes along. Today was Flood Day. We got four inches or more, three of them very fast.

Even the backup culvert was called into use.

It was about time that our poor ponds (tanks in Texan) got refilled, because the drizzles we’ve had earlier in the month didn’t stop them from continuing to dry up.

Still, it is probably too much to ask of Mother Nature, but a few days of an inch or two a day would be a lot better for our plants and trees, because this much water just runs off into the creek, into the Little Elm, then into the Little River, then into the Brazos, and on to the sea. Or something like that.

For a while there around noon today it looked like we were in a lake, because it was raining so hard nothing could absorb. It was fun to watch, as it was fun to see the creek slowly fill up as more rain went into Walker’s Creek up north from here.

You normally can’t see water from our back yard.

After the rain, I had a lot of fun in my rubber boots looking at the aftermath. Drew was enjoying the water running in from the arroyo and across the road. I hope there wasn’t too much fertilizer runoff, because now it’s all in our front pond.

Mabel, on the other hand, changed colors from rolling in the mud. That gal likes her dirt.

The minute the sun came out, out came all the birds, butterflies, and bugs. The birds had a feast, I’m sure. And I finally got a picture of one of the beautiful blue butterflies with its wings open! That was a personal goal.

You can see how high the water got during the hard rain

I also made all my work goals, even publishing my training video successfully after it breaking repeatedly. For the first time ever, I found the answer in one of those ancient user forums on the software’s site. Turns out you can’t have any of that fancy chart stuff from PowerPoint in your presentation for it to work with my add-on software. I converted the charts to images and everything was fine. I tell you what, it makes me feel smart.

More rain is in store for a few days. There goes my plan to ride my horses every single day. Ya can’t have everything.