Ramblings – Page 30 – The Hermits' Rest

Issues with My Cultural Heritage

What aspects of your cultural heritage are you most proud of or interested in?

As a Euro-American white person, I’ve been learning a lot about the negative aspects of my ancestors. There’s a lot to tell, and I’m pleased that it’s not being swept under the rug anymore. But there are things to treasure, things to puzzle over, and things to horrify you no matter where your ancestors originated. That’s because people are talented, complex, and often cruel. Everywhere and throughout history.

So, today I’ve been thinking of my ancestry and what parts I’m proud of.

Oh look, Harvest Moon. slightly bigger than last night.

Most of my ancestors on my paternal line came from England. The Kendall family is very old, but I’m most proud of how the first father and son to come over in the 1600s took their indentured servitude and used it to do very well once they were free. That’s the Early American Dream. Then they fought on the winning side of the War of Independence and headed south. Then they lost the next big war and ended up sharecroppers living right along with former enslaved people. I also like that those folks came here to be able to feed themselves, not to foist weird religious beliefs on others.

I wonder if any of them were fascinated by tiny hover flies?

Now, on my grandmother’s side there were some French Huguenots. They were among the many religious fanatics to come to the US to escape persecution and promote their cause. The other bunch on that side were Scots-Irish. Yep. Getting away from religious stuff. Well, that and famines. They all ended up nice, Appalachians, some who did well and some who didn’t. Typical American white immigrant story.

Maybe some were herbalists and inspired my love for wildflowers.

I do love the folk tales, wisdom, and pre-Christian spiritual traditions of Great Britain and Ireland. They tie me to a much more distant past. And yes, I realize those people could be cruel as well as kind, just like the Romans and all that.

I was fascinated by the sun on flowers this morning.

I’ve written a lot about my mom’s ancestors being brought to Florida from Menorca to be slaves on sugar cane or rice plantations. It’s a fascinating little tale, and I’m really proud of the Canova folks for escaping and hanging out with the Native Americans until they could come back and become prosperous business owners in St. Augustine. Those were some strong Mediterranean people.

My maternal grandfather was Swedish. I like that his ancestors stayed together in the same villages for many generations. I’ve never experienced a community with such deep roots. Still, the Andersons finally headed out in the very early 1900s, again because they were hungry. Most of them went to Minnesota, but my grandfather was an adventurous guy. He left there to work on the Panama Canal as a surveyor and ended up in Florida, where I’m sure he seemed quite exotic on his fancy white horse. (Maybe he’s where my horse-loving genes came from.)

I guess I’m proud that my ancestors took big risks and got through hardship. No doubt we’re all descendants of the people who survived the risks and danger long enough to reproduce, huh?

Back then, they didn’t even have bad county roads to travel on.

And when you look at what they went through, the persecution, the ignorance, the huge changes, you can get some perspective to use on today’s challenges. Humans have never had it easy, and never has there been a time or culture without suffering and joy. I’m sure you already knew that.

I just like the swoopy lines in this one. Those are starlings, also European immigrants.

In summary, I don’t think my heritage is better or worse than anyone else’s. I’d like to think I’ve learned from some of their mistakes, and can benefit from some of their contributions to the world.

Now let us ponder the shoe on a fence post. It’s always there if someone needs it!

Branded? Not Me

What brands do you associate with?

I’m not a millennial or whatever age group feels the need to associate with a brand or become a brand. It’s just not something I think about. Ever.

I guess, tongue in cheek, I could say I associate myself to Color Street (see, I linked to it). It’s the stuff I use for my silly little fingernails that make me happy. Since I’m constantly being asked how I do the looks, I do tend to evangelize. And I’m probably helping Rebecca the consultant actually make money in an MLM scheme (or as proponents call it, a home business, ha ha).

Yeah, there are less expensive options that feel a bit rubbery, but I enjoy the fun of buying these and sharing ideas and manicures with others. It’s fairly harmless and supports a US business. I represent Color Street (unofficially) because it’s fun.

That’s what they look like in the package.

The only other “brand” I associate with is the Texas Master Naturalist program. I’m proud to have a TMN license plate and wear my shirts around. It’s a privilege to share what I’ve learned with others, too. This organization does so much for our state parks and research.

I’m just not fond of branding myself and am not inclined to become an influencer and promote things. That seems so fake and vain. Besides, I’m old, which Facebook must not know with all their labeling me as a rising creator. I think creator means person who shares a lot of stuff.

In other news, I was working with Apache and walked him way over by the woods. While he was noshing away on some healthy grass, I spotted a raccoon in the stream!

Yeah, today I wouldn’t have blogged. But I committed to answering the prompt for all of September. Only three more days!

It was nice enough outside to do a Zoom meeting by the pool.

The Best Advice (and horse stories)

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

Gee, y’all, I’ve received a lot of good advice. I’ve been lucky to surround myself with wise women (and some treasured wise men), so good advice has flowed my way. Plus I read Brené Brown, so I’ve read a lot of good advice too.

But I’m supposed to share the best advice I ever received. I’ll share the on that came to my mind first.

Don’t let other people be your mirror.

My therapist, Victoria, used to say that when I would get all upset and believe what some of the more negative people in my life said about me. I’d keep seeing myself like my ex looked at me, people at jobs, etc. This advice helped me learn to value my own assessment of myself. I think back to it whenever I dive deep into self pity or negative self talk.

Maybe it will help you.

Horse Stories

I’ve been trying to not write about my horses, but sometimes I just want to share. And it IS my blog!

First. Today I was taking a walk to the mailbox (it’s my reward for editing three job aids). I looked over and saw good old Dusty grazing peacefully between me and the pond. I vaguely recognized the other horses were on the other side of the pond, next to the road.

Suddenly there came a thundering sound and, followed by splashing and branches snapping. Drew appeared from under the willow trees, running at full speed. He had run along the muddy shore of the pond and emerges with nostrils flaring and tail tossing. He galloped straight to poor Dusty, chomped him on the shoulder, them proceeded to buck, kick, and fling himself around like he was electrified.

Once he stopped, he nipped Dusty again then zoomed back to the other side of the pond, poked the other two horses, fell to his knees and rolled.

I wonder what was going on?

Second. Apache has been feeling better, and did fine on two fairly short rides since our last lesson. But today he was not happy when I tried to do a bit more work now that the weather broke slightly. He did the absolutely frightening thing where he shakes his head violently to get the reins out of my hands, puts his head down, kicks, and takes off. I am very proud that I have not fallen off.

Actually, I’m getting way better at getting the reins back, trying to relax, and getting him to stop, some of the time. Otherwise he heads toward the tack room like his life depends on it.

I figured it would not be a good idea to give him the idea that the ride will be over if he does this, so I let him sit and rest a while at the tack room, then got him to walk fairly calmly to the round pen where his halter was. He thinks that is also a place to stop, so he went along with it.

But I am proud of myself that I got him to make some figure eights, and sidepass (fairly well). When I got off, I decided to let him know the work doesn’t always end when his halter is back on. We went on a nice walk around the area, dearth with a scary dumpster very well, then had some nice together time where I let him graze on some long grass that’s way better for him than the new grass in his pasture.

I hope I did well, He was sure calmer by the time I took off his saddle. I just sometimes think I’m not cut out for this horse stuff. I’m STILL not a very good horse leader, apparently.

PS: Drew has been just fine. I love his trot.

Life without Music

What would your life be like without music?

My life has always been filled with music. I started “training” my voice trying to imitate Julie Andrews before I started school. We only had one album, Mary Poppins. I sang in choir from 6th grade through high school (where it was chorus, because I guess choir is for church).

I was not the greatest singer, but I was very helpful in choruses, because I could read music (2 years of piano lessons, which I sucked at), I was loud, and I could sing any part but bass, thanks to my range. And I loved harmony, oh so much.

You can see why I sang tenor. Not a lot of dudes.

I also was crazed for folk and rock music, so I kept on singing with Linda Ronstadt and her cohorts. I liked music that was complex but clean, whether classical or rock opera (mmm, Quadrophenia…want me to sing the whole thing?)

High school singing. My brother is at left.

I didn’t sing for many years after high school, due to hard feelings with my music teacher. I don’t remember what it was about. But I sang informally with friends and wished I didn’t have such fat, stubby non-guitar-suited fingers. Listening was always part of life. I wish I had my albums.

I loved to sing. This is our folk group with Eddie Collins added.

I started a second round of singing in my late thirties through 50s. I learned a lot singing in the choir at the Unitarian Universalist church we attended. Our choir director was a great teacher and extremely patient with the motley crew who showed up. It ranged from professionals to first-time singers. It was a lot of fun, and a great outlet for my soul. Harmony is just the best.

Church choir, maybe the concert when my voice quit.

I also worked with the church-sponsored folk music coffeehouse. I met many wonderful Americana artists who are still my friends. For a few years, my dear friend Jeff, a great musician, lived with me and the boys. We had CDs recorded at our house!

I think that was great education for my kids, especially the one that became a professional musician. During those years we all heard a lot of live music!

At some point two of my friends from church and I started learning songs and playing together. Both Bill and Austin sang well and were (are) great guitar players. It was fulfilling to work out harmonies and figure out what songs worked best for our voices. We didn’t perform in public much but it was great fun when we did.

Later, we joined our church band, and the opportunity to make music with my kids and husband was very special. We ended up doing songs that weren’t suited to me, but I kept trying until we moved to the ranch.

Probably the most musical fun I ever had was singing with two different choruses in Austin. I got to learn hard choral music and sing with people who were much better singers than me. It was like being the smartest person in high school only to discover you are average in college. Or in my case, grad school. I loved learning the difficult pieces and learning from others!

I can’t forget 6 years as a band mom following my kids around. That counts as music (this is the Cameron band years ago).

My singing stopped abruptly when I damaged my vocal cords singing the highest parts in Judas Maccabaeus. It was fun until I realized I’d list B, C, and D above middle C. That messed up most songs. I was the only second soprano in our church Christmas program and when I tried to sing, nothing came out. I was very embarrassed.

My friends Jim and Sherry, folks I met during the coffeehouse years.

Luckily, I have a very musical family, so for a few more years I got to enjoy Lee and my sons playing. We’d have jams on holidays, and Declan would play his rock songs and classical guitar for me. I truly enjoyed that.

This is my son in a band called Sherry. He’s still in bands with some of these folks.

But. Sigh. Lee’s hands have stopped working. He has pretty bad arthritis. That’s so hard for a lifelong bass player. He played since he was a teen, toured with bands, and worked in radio. He still listens a lot.

This early band Declan was in has folks who’ve moved on to do great things.

I don’t. I probably will eventually, but much of my favorite music makes me sad. I’ve lost my mandolin playing son, and I don’t get to hear Declan anymore. The last time I heard him play guitar was two years ago, when he was playing the Moonlight Sonata and my sister staged a big fall to bring the attention back to her. Unpleasantness ensued. That’s the last time I ever saw her, as she left town the next day and has officially “disowned” me.

Declan has never played for us again.

Geez. This took a sad turn. I don’t dwell on this stuff or sit around wondering what’s so awful about me that relatives are fleeing in droves. Stuff just happens. I’ll keep trying to be a good person and not worry about people who have problems with me and don’t want to work it out. What else can you do?

Declan still plays, though. This is Big Dallas.

I’m glad I’ve had so much music in my life. I know I’d be much different if I hadn’t learned so much about music and made so many wonderful music friends. It’s a treasured part of my life.

Holidays around Here

How do you celebrate holidays?

I am not looking forward to answering this. The past few years holidays have been very confusing, because it’s hard to plan. With all the emergencies and life changes, we never know who will be around to celebrate or when. And I’ve lost two family members (they aren’t dead; they just consider me dead to them). It’s a good thing I’m not big on Christian holidays. I’d be miserable.

I really miss Christmas trees. I used to have lots. This was my Nature Tree in 2014.

I guess we’re not alone. So many families have so many branches that want to see each member. Divorces, marriages, and squabbles make holidays hard for lots of us. So I won’t complain, just note that I sure liked holidays when I had a little nuclear family.

And I’ve finally stopped giving so many gifts. I really used to love watching family open presents. But when I found things I knitted for someone stuffed under a bed and saw things I’d carefully picked for people never move from the spot they set them, I realized I was just piling unwanted things on people. I do love a thoughtful gift, myself. I have nearly every gift my children gave me displayed so I can look at them.

This is the reaction I always hoped for.

For a few years, when we had both kids and Declan’s partner to enjoy Christmas with, we traveled for Christmas. That was wonderful. There were such good times hiking, making music, eating, and exploring.

The place in Ruidoso had a pool table. Fun!

No matter who’s here, I do enjoy a traditional Anerican Thanksgiving. I love the familiar dishes, along with the ones our many attendees bring from their families, like Anita’s “damn yams” that are ridiculously sweet. I’m one of the few who like my homemade cranberry-orange sauce, so we always include the can-shaped stuff, too.

My favorite holiday to eat at is New Year’s Day, since I insist on cooking what I ate growing up, but add pork loin for the manly nest-eating men who don’t find black-eyed peas and collard greens as appealing as I do. (I do make the greens delicious, though.)

Other holidays we don’t do much for anymore. No children come trick or treating out here, and I don’t do Easter eggs for similar reasons. I’m not into any special activities for the Patriotic holidays other than putting out a flag.

I enjoy traditional Celtic Wheel of the Year observances, but I do it more privately now than I used to. I’m trying to blend in more now that there’s so much violent energy being directed at people who don’t fit the MAGA profile.

The wheel moves to Mabon at the equinox.

Still, it’s fun to watch how other families celebrate their own traditions. Holidays in nearly all cultures seem like fun and a good way to relax. I hope we get to continue to be a multi-cultural society.

Everyone likes a flower, even from a Buffalo bur

Let’s celebrate! I’m going to try to stop missing old ways of observing holidays and find something new!

Bonus hawk Declan and I saw while chatting this morning.

Other People Are Also Screwed Up

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

If I had known when I was younger that all the people I thought were just happily swimming through life were actually like me, confused, vulnerable, wounded, and misunderstood. (Insert other common issues here.)

I’m misunderstood. I’m not being friendly just so I can get hoof trimmings.

I didn’t really figure out that my perceived flaws and imperfections were shared by many of those folks I thought were so happy until I was well into adulthood, maybe 15 years ago. I’m glad I had a helpful therapist!

Here are beautiful golden rain lilies for all of you.

For example, when I asked my friend Anita to answer some interview questions to respond to another blog prompt, one of the women we went to high school with, who we thought was perky and popular and carefree at the time, wrote about how much we had in common in our teen years. If only we’d known back then!

Not everything is as it seems. This stuff came off Apache’s feet. Thanks, Sara!

So remember, friends, you aren’t alone. Take time to look past your stereotypes and you might find fascinating friends you can heal with.

My Favorite Word or Words

What’s your favorite word?

Oh, I don’t know, I’m too tired from a long day of hard listening. I did a change management training in the morning, then listened to a presentation on wolf spiders at the Master Naturalist meeting. My friend Eric’s enthusiasm for spiders is contagious.

I know my favorite word to say. I like the way the word “leather” feels when you say it. All the consonants can be drawn out, the “th” tickles your lips, and the vowel is soothing. (There’s just one vowel in this word in American English, thanks to how we pronounce “r”.)

You can now thank me for not going deep into phonology or phonetics or some other linguistic stuff that I once would have wanted to explain to you with respect to the sounds of leather.

Blondie has decided that this box is her equivalent of a leather sofa. She laid her egg in it.

As for words whose meaning I like the most…I honestly thing I once blogged that my favorite word was “friend,” but I can’t search my blog on the phone. I’m not going downstairs to visit my computer, but if I find the post, I’ll add it.

I just love it when people call each other “friend,” like one of my coworkers does. I just get all gooey inside if someone calls me their friend. And my heart feels warm when I think about my little circle of friends. Yes. I like that word.

Mmm. Rain

Lately I also like the word “rain” a lot. It’s rained a bit more than a half inch, and all soaked in. Hoping for more tomorrow, nice and slow and steady.

May it rain as slowly and steadily as an egret flies.

Red Flags or Intuition?

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

I rolled my eyes when I saw this prompt. I have found that some people just give me an instant negative reaction or at least I get negative “vibes” soon after. I’m right about it more often than not; it’s one of my innate abilities.

Photography is not an innate ability though this seed pod is pretty.

I HAVE been wrong about those vibes a couple of times. There are a couple of good friends who rubbed me the wrong way at first, but grew on me.

Apache wonders if he’s one of those friends. I’m smiling now.

Upon additional thought about red flag traits, I managed to come up with one personality type that makes me want to avoid people. It’s folks who have no topics of conversation other than themselves and lack the social skills to recognize when they ought to give someone else a turn. It seems like every group I’ve been in, from La Leche League groups to spiritual groups to book clubs has one of these.

I try to be patient with such folks. They may be lonely or they may have a disability that affects them. Sadly, I’ve seen more than one group break up or dwindle to just a few patient folks because of this.

I hope to all that is sacred that I’m not one of those people. I try to cut my stories short, but may fail. The thing is, I love to hear about other people’s lives; I just want everyone to get a turn.

Any other traits that are red flags? Probably being intentionally racist, sexist, or homophobic. Cruelty to animals. Stuff like that.

Drew points out that he is an animal and we’re not cruel to him.

I must tell you a trait I like in others, and that’s being kind to others. I appreciated it today when Tarrin’s husband, Teddy, helped Lee deal with a horse trailer gone bad. He found a nail in it but got it filled enough to get home. New tires are in our future.

I also truly appreciate the man in the pickup truck who followed us down Tarrin’s road, even into the parking lot of the new Milano gas station/truck stop. It turned out that when we heard a big clunk after hitting a tree branch (road not meant for RVs), it was our fancy television antenna being ripped off the roof. This kind man saw it, picked up the antenna, and brought it to us. Lee said he couldn’t tell the guy thank you enough.

See, there are many helpful people out there! They raise green flags with me!

Is There an Ideal Week?

Describe your ideal week.

I thought about this all day long today, and I had plenty of time to think as I worked in the actual Dell Technologies offices today. The scenery didn’t distract me, even though I had a window view.

Ooh, look, the 45 Toll Road! It leads straight to my dentist, which is why I was in the area.

I’m sure there’s some Golden Perfect week that involves riding horses on the beach, bathing in a spring-fed pond, working on the Great Sunarian Novel, knitting in a hammock on a porch with bird feeders nearby, and eating nothing but oysters, fish, fresh veggies and ripe fruit…but that’s not realistic.

Excuse me, you forgot to mention petting dogs.

Realistically, I think I’ve got all the ingredients it takes to make for a perfect week, right here in scenic Milam County, Texas. Here are the components of my perfect week, which might not all occur in any one week:

Meaningful work. I’m glad I have a job I like to bring in money and challenge me.
Writing. I’ll have to write every day, line I do now.
Reading. I read constantly when not knitting, writing, or horsing.
Horses. Every day I want quality time with horses, to make up for the years I didn’t have any. I will keep riding and learning.
Other pets. I have to be with the doggies and chickens to remind myself there are so many ways to live and love.
Volunteer work. I like my Master Naturalist work and want to do it as much as I can squeeze in.
Swimming. I never used to like it, but I enjoy it all year now.
Meditation. As I wrote about earlier, it’s part of any ideal week.
Travel. Not every week, but often, I want to go camping, or to a condo in a new place.
Friends. I love that I have scheduled times to see friends in person and Zoom every week.
Family. Time just talking and laughing with Lee hard to happen regularly. I’m hoping tune with the rest of the family will become regular soon.
Hanging out in nature. It’s a must or I get all irritated and irritating. I need to feel like I’m a small part of the big picture.

Wow. I just kept going there. The good news is that I usually have most of these things every week, so my life is now ideal. Yay, I made it to where I hoped I’d be when I was younger!

Note: in any ideal week the temperature will NOT be over 100°F nor will there be a polar vortex. But, thanks, humanity, you’ve guaranteed extremes for the rest of my life. That’s not ideal, is it?

Yes, There Are Athletes I Admire

Name the professional athletes you respect the most and why.

Many of my friends aren’t fond of professional sports or the players. Trust me, I won’t argue that there are plenty of negative aspects, like head injuries, young people being taken advantage of, ridiculous ticket prices, gambling, drugs…etc.

But I can’t help being impressed with what some very wise athletes have done with their fame (in addition to making funny commercials and getting oh so wealthy (I see you Mannings and Mahomes). So, here are a few I admire.

Billy Jean King. It’s hard not to admire her. She took her platform as a tennis player and has not stopped using it to promote women’s rights and health. She’s still doing good work, with her weirdly brown hair for someone age 79.

Dak Prescott. Not only is he my favorite player on my favorite football team (Dallas Cowboys, for anti-US sports readers), but he won the Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year for his extensive charity work. He has a good sense of humor, but seems very intelligent and willing to share his ridiculous income with others. He doesn’t seem busy only buying bling, dressing weird, and putting shiny stuff on his teeth (OK, I’ve seen his outfits; he does wear some unusual fashion). But heck, he’s exactly one month younger that my son, so he’s still a kid.

Kareem Abdul Jabbar. I’ve always admired him as a human being, even when I was very young. Yes, he was one of the greatest basketball players ever, but he’s also a brilliant thinker on history, race relations, religion, and more. He is a great speaker and writer, too.

So that’s the answer to the prompt. For those of you who don’t know me personally, I thought I’d share my rough afternoon. Here’s my Facebook post:

I get so tired of being weak and wimpy.
I’m very grateful for my kind horse.

I overheated riding today because I’d convinced myself it was “cooler” outside. I didn’t realize it, but I guess Apache did, because in the middle of our exercises he broke free and zoomed to the tack room and stopped. I was thinking, ooh, he’s not listening, so I need to get him to pay attention before I get off, so I tried to walk a few steps then stop. After the second time, he zipped to the round pen, where his halter was, walked a circle for me and stopped.

As we stopped I realized I was shaking all over and dizzy. When I dismounted I was nauseated. Apache walked slowly with me to the shade and just stood by me as I sat down to call Lee to come get me.

We both got hosed off, which helped. Now, maybe Apache had his own reasons for acting weird, but I appreciate that he got me to get off sooner than I’d planned. I wish the promised cooler (previously there was a “coojer” typo that was pretty funny) weather would show up! I’m hardly able to get anything done with the horses other than feeding and ground work.