I’ve had some much appreciated compliments during my life, though like so many others, I tend to discount compliments (oh, that can’t be true!) and dwell on criticism. That’s not a healthy pattern!
I took this photo before we left the state park to remember when I need to settle my mind.
So I’ve been trying to pay more attention to any compliments that come my way, soak them in, and express gratitude for them. One I loved came when I had only been at my current job for a few months. One of the subject matter experts told his colleagues how much he enjoyed my training videos, because I have such a soothing voice that it makes even project management software interesting. That was unexpected! I do think I have a pleasant professional voice, and I had good training thanks to all my singing and tips from a former supervisor who reads books for the blind.
Visually impaired people can enjoy honeysuckle because it smells so good.
One reason I enjoy my current job is that not only do I enjoy the work, but people let me know they appreciate what I create for them. Of course there is criticism, but it’s kind and helpful. I can improve! Win.
Hawthorn looked like a bridal bouquet to me. My compliments to the plant!
Here’s my big takeaway. The thing I find most important about compliments is how good it can feel when you let someone else know something that you like about them. A compliment that’s sincere, unexpected, and insightful can really brighten someone’s day. I most assuredly get more out of delivering a well deserved compliment than receiving one (though both are good!).
I was sad to leave this place.
What I can do without are insincere compliments that aren’t even well thought out. That’s more like flattery designed to get you to do something or buttering you up for some unpleasant request. Like talking to a poor salesperson. Yuck. If you can’t compliment someone accurately, don’t try.
But I was glad to get home. I missed the horses and Fiona. (And dogs!)
And that’s my advice after a long day of work and travel down roads so bumpy that my watch gave me exercise credit for them!
It was hard to crochet, too but I finished this bag to hold my phone in Seneca. The truck cab lacks amenities like cubbies.
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
I’ll tell you what I do with negative feelings! I squash them down and distract myself with plants! Who can feel bad when they’ve just seen their first mayapple?
The most beautiful plant! The flowers hide under a giant leaf umbrella!
One common criticism of Past Suna was that she was sooo negative. That stung, but it led me to get to work on figuring out how to reframe how I interpreted the world around me. That, in turn, has led me to express myself less negatively. It was a lot of effort at first, but I think I’m a lot less negative, in general.
Sure, it rained this morning, which made getting ready to travel difficult, but it was beautiful afterwards, and we needed the rain.
I’ve noticed that lately, when things happen that once would have made me upset, I notice that whatever it was happened, feel angry, annoyed, or sad, but then let it go. How did I finally learn to stop dwelling on things and wallowing excessively? I DO NOT KNOW. My best guess is that all the effort I’ve put into mindfulness, seeing the good in situations, and turning away negative thoughts became second nature after a lot of repetition. Dang, I wish I could have gotten there sooner, but that’s my path!
Who knows where our paths will take us?
Here’s an example. Today we were looking forward to picking up Hermee the Jeep and towing him to the Cooper Lake South Sulphur Unit State Park (quite a mouthful) behind Seneca the motorhome. Do you see a Jeep in this picture?
Nope, just a hulking home on wheels.
Yep, the towing equipment wouldn’t be done until 4 pm, way too late for us to drive 4 hours and arrive in daylight. It turned out the scheduled technician had a death in the family. Well, I was irritated for one minute, then just made sure we have enough food, and looked forward to the weekend anyway. That guy’s family is more important than having two vehicles. We will get Hermee on our way back.
We have all we need.
It’s harder to be negative, too, when you’re looking at life from a wider perspective. Hanging around with nature so much, and working to understand horses and dogs has helped drive home the perspective I need. I remember the world does not revolve around me, I’m part of a bigger universe, and pouting or weeping won’t stop the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. It’s so much better (at least for me) to just sit back and watch the show, tending to matters that are within my ability to control (my own actions).
Mexican plum
The fewer expectations I have of those around me, the more at peace I become. And this lets me truly enjoy the goodness and kindness that pours in from the family and friends who care. And they’re the ones that count and bring joy, even in hard times.
Um, anyway, yeah, we have driven to the park we accidentally drove to a few months ago. It’s more wintry in north Texas than at home, but I think I’ll have lots of fun walking around this weekend. The weather should be pleasant.
There’s a lake out there.
With no Jeep to get me to trailheads, I’ll get some good walking in. And if it rains, I have loads of knitting and writing to do. It’s all good. It’s weirdly stress free other than concerns for some family health issues. I can’t fix it by worrying, though, so I’ll keep sending out good intentions and doing whatever concrete things I can to be helpful.
And, here are some plants and vultures.
HoneysuckleRagwort VioletWillow in bloomBeautiful dead nettle Ah-choo. Oak pollen. Rusty blackhaw Campsite viewNew oak leavesMay apples in the woods Some kind of lilyKettle of vultures Things seen in the RV camping area
How do you deal with negative feelings? Is it easier or harder as you age?
If so, that may explain a few things. I’m not lucky either. Probably because I don’t believe in luck.
Oh look, some lucky vetch! It IS a pretty plant, which just started blooming.
I’m not superstitious. I’m all evidence based. I’m pretty sure whether I walk under a ladder or not won’t cause the karmic winds to shift and bring bad juju my way. Even if it did matter, I’m not to get all worked up about it.
I may not be lucky, but I felt privileged to enjoy today’s sunrise.
But hey, I’m very happy with my life and enjoy finding the good in whatever comes my way. You can learn from everything, as my friend Sara was telling me today. So even bad “luck” has its usefulness.
It’s Tuesday, so we had horse lessons. it was a spectacularly beautiful day, and both Apache and Aragorn did well. Even the parts that were challenging taught us, and Sara and I learned from each other, too. It’s great going to lessons together.
I’m making some real and tangible progress working with Apache on calming down when he wants to rush ahead or gets worried. Tarrin’s been helping me develop tools that may well help both me and my horse!
Drew sees Apache.
Poor Droodles is making slow progress in his rehab. He’s all a-flutter about lady horses, and is slowly getting better from his severe pain. We still don’t know what happened, but his right side was a mess. I hope he keeps improving.
Today was perfect. I got all my work done, procured Lee a birthday gift and a camping themed card, and enjoyed the horses. But I’m really tired. So, here are some photos from today. Tomorrow maybe there will be more.
Grackles. hundreds. They all landed I. The neighbors’ tree. Delightful dewberries that smell like roses because they’re relatedBeautiful gray hairstreakPretty fly (not a white guy)Red admiral with golden wingsHairy buttercup. Not native. First I’ve seen T our place. Mustang grape blossomsMorning reflection Sunny, cloudy, or both.
Not much happened today that was exciting, but that’s fine with me. I was able to refresh the Hermits’ Rest Red on the mailbox stand and gate posts, because it was finally calm enough outside to spray paint. I also added house numbers that are reflective, which should help 911 find us in case of emergency. I feel like we might need it at some point.
Sadly, we need a new mailbox, since after only 12 years, the hinges rusted out.
I’ll eventually repaint everything. You need to do it every few years, except for the gate, which is powder coated.
I had lots of birds to keep me company. My son drove by and asked where my shoes were, because I took them off so no red paint would get on them. Of course I got red paint on my manicure, but it blends in with the flowers.
Yes, I needed lotion.
I’ve been spending lots of time with the horses, which is nice and calm these days. I have Dusty and Mabel looking pretty good in mid-shedding season, but Apache still has lots of hair left. Today he’d apparently napped in a pile of burs. It turns out it’s harder to get them off his belly than his mane or tail. He’s back to normal in every other way. We’ve enjoyed riding and he’s enjoyed his cantering. I think it makes him feel strong and powerful.
I forgot to take a picture of the King of Canter, so here’s a mama cow.
Mostly today (other than Master Naturalist stuff) I looked at butterflies while the phone listened to birds. The first scissortail arrived, as did another hummingbird. It’s not summer yet, guys! The low today was 37°! But my face did get pink from being outside in the pleasant weather. Best time of year here.
Orange SulphurCactus sproutMore swamp privet. How have I missed these trees before?Ragwort Checkered skipperRed admiral Buckeye, the butterfly kindA pale paintbrush Today’s sightings
Today didn’t go quite as planned, but it ended up okay. After an enjoyable rainy morning chat with Kathleen about what’s going on and her plans for the immediate future, I got some work done.
Isn’t this moth beautiful? It’s apparently a blackberry looper moth.
The sun came out soon enough, so I went out and found some more newly emerging wildflowers and a very cool fungus in the woods. I love my nature breaks.
Baby blue eyes! Bristle mallow Fan-shaped jelly fungus
The afternoon was supposed to be spent looking at potential four-wheel drive vehicles to tow behind Seneca the Motorhome, then some grocery shopping. Indeed, much car and truck looking ensued.
Truck that is $120K new. It has a built-in cooler.
I guess we lucked out, because exactly what we wanted was at the dealership, which was a used two-door Jeep Wrangler. Best of all, it was a 2023 with, get this, 1700 miles on it. The previous owner probably didn’t want such a low-frills vehicle. But for bopping around campgrounds and exploring nearby sights while Seneca stays parked, it’s ideal.
Beep beep
Though small, Lee can get in it easily. That’s good, because it will have to be his daily driver until we get a farm truck or something to pull the horse trailer. The trade-in on Lee’s previous vehicle was more than the purchase price of the Jeep (and that was way off its original price), so we aren’t out anything, either.
A Suna-sized car. No weird graphics or exterior bling. Good.
And, we enjoyed talking to Mark, our salesman, who is our age and has more horses and dogs than we do! That commonality helped pass the endless car-buying hours. His paint horses were so beautiful. I got his business card. Also there was knitting. Thankfully.
Temperature blanket through today.
We still have to get the towing hitch put on the Jeep and finish some things up, so Lee will get to talk to ole Mark more tomorrow. I tell you, I was pleasantly surprised at how quiet and comfortable the car is on the inside, compared to ones I’d ridden in before. And it’s pretty peppy. I never was a huge fan of these cars, but this one will be just great. It’s a bit rough in the suspension department, but it’s an off-road vehicle. It’s supposed to be rough.
Simple interior.
Another thing I’ll tell you is that I do NOT plan to take the thing apart. Maybe the front roof panels, but that’s it. I’m not mechanical enough to put pieces back together correctly!
By the way, we never made it to the grocery store.
Today was my birthday, and I expected to spend the day working, then doing horse stuff, including taking Drew to his re-education camp. I did all that, but when I came home well after dark I found birthday balloons on the mailbox, hanging geraniums in baskets on the front porch, and a nice meal being cooked. Then my son and his partner showed up, so we had a wonderful family dinner!
I brought the balloons in.
I even got birthday cards and a tres leches cake from the local bakery. It has to marinate, so we got to enjoy a sampler of baked goods for dessert after our tacos and homemade guacamole. It was so kind of my family to do this. You could have blown me over with a feather!
Dinner, not cooked by me!
It was just one of those very full days. I enjoy days with challenges that take work to solve, but you can cope. Work was that way today, with laughter on top of it. Wow, it’s great to have a good job and supportive team!
I have no work photos, so here’s a willow branch covered in dew.
Horses were also challenging but do-able. Apache was a mess when I got him from the pasture so I had to wash him off. I think that helped. I was also able to get Drew haltered and ready to go to Tarrin’s safely.
One twitchy, one not.
Once at Tarrin’s he was back in his old pen, but he was jumpy at construction going on, new horses, and mares next to him. They also got excited and ran around their pen dozens of times. We kept wondering if they’d ever stop!
Jumpy Droodles.
Aragorn and Apache managed to do their lessons, though. I got a lesson at putting on Apache’s new saddle pad, and we changed out his straps so he’s all green now. Snappy.
Green is a good color for bays.
I am pleased with the progress my fine gelding and I are making. Tarrin purposefully got Apache annoyed so I could practice settling him down. Maybe this will help when he’s at Sara’s again. Still, he’s doing trot transition work very well and I’m proud of him (and me—lots of butt bouncing). Bonus: Tarrin gave me chocolate ale to take home! And nail strips!
Tarrin took this picture to show how straight he was standing, just as he was going to shake his head.
The last couple of days have given me much to be grateful for! Hoping it stays this nice!
Today I needed to get some things off my chest so I could move on past them and get back to my “normal” fairly balanced frame of mind. I’m very lucky that I was able to have a couple of Zoom chats and a couple of Messenger chats that set me back on an even keel.
Sun, rain, and clouds this morning.
I just needed to talk things through in a safe, nonjudgmental space. We all need friends to listen to us when we need to vent, even when we’re a little off base or even a little wrong. The listeners let you hear yourself, ask helpful questions for you to ponder, and allow you to gain a better perspective on whatever is bugging you.
By this evening, after a nice ride on a mostly calm horse (mentally thanking my supportive equestrian friends), cooking a tasty dinner for the menfolk, and zoning out knitting, I feel refreshed and able to cope with whatever challenges come my way. Woo hoo!
Most of them probably won’t see this, but I’d like to thank these friends for lifting me up between the weekend and today:
Alice
Barbara
Nancy S
Barbara
Connie
Kathie
Lynn
Phyllis
Anita
Martha
Jay
Pamela
Avery, Sara, and Tracee (for horse support)
I even got to be a bit of a listener for Pamela and Martha, too. One of the best things about good friends is that they can take turns being the helper and the helped. My high school friend group also does that for each other. It’s a good feeling all around.
When Goldie was sad, Lee cheered her up.
If someone has helped you get through a rough spot, be sure to thank them, too!
And if you get vexed, just look at some vetch and breathe. I did.
This question intrigued me. And answering it is way more fun than talking about my anxiety attack from today. Ugh. I let something get to me today. So, hmm.
1. My glasses. I rely on my eyes so much! How could I read, write, look at birds, and knit easily without them? I’m so glad eyeglasses were invented.
I want to see things like this amazing swamp privet in the back pond area near the spring (Forestiera acuminata). I had no idea it was there.
2. My car. Not only is it pretty (red leather!) and zippy, but it’s my only way to get to food, friends, and non-ranch fun. I don’t want to hitch Fiona to a wagon to get supplies!
I’m relieved.
3. Knitting Needles. Weird but true. I need to knit to stay even semi-sane. I’d say I need a pair of circular size 4 US needles and I’ll be set for life. I can knit with any yarn-like stuff. String, strips of cloth, wire…whatever.
This is the progress on 2023 for my friend. The dark are isn’t very pretty from a distance.
There you have it. I am sure my answers aren’t typical!
Today, other than dealing with mental challenges, Lee and I went to Temple to look for containers to put in my “new” nonfunctional freezer that will store horse food and foil those darn mice for good. Thanks to our neighbor for painting it red just before it died. It looks good. Now we just have to work out the storage method.
Latches were added to prevent creatures from breaking in.
Lee even treated me to an early birthday lunch, which was fantastic. Seared tuna with a great salad. And I got free dessert!
Other than that, I mostly hung out with the birds and plants. That brings peace.
First dewberry blossomOld bird nest Bluebonnets!Gulf fritillary Wandering pond turtleYeah. More spring beauties. Look at the pink stamens!Wood sorrel. I love the patterns on these thistle leaves. Mushroom cap with dew.
There is good news! Apache isn’t mad at me today. He even picked up his feet so I could take his boots off. I think he should only wear them a couple days at a time. It’s rubbing off his hair.
Well! The nerve! They are recycling blog prompts and I’d already answered today’s! And it was a cold, rainy day, so there’s not a lot of other exciting to report, so a topic would have been helpful.
I wish you could have seen this in person. It nearly glowed in the soft light. Castilleja indivisa
My lack of drama made me feel like I could be a member of the Dull Women’s Club in Facebook! Look it up, both it and the men’s version can be quite funny until people get snippy.
Dull gray rain clouds
How dull WAS I?
My proudest accomplishment was tallying how many bird species I saw here at the ranch last month. 78. Down from 82 last month.
My second proudest accomplishment was hanging my clean clothing. I won’t tell you how long it had been, but I came across many pumpkin t-shirts.
I put away coffee mugs (I have to take them upstairs, because that’s where we make coffee).
Work happened. I wrote three bulleted lists, much like this one. I also helped a bunch of people and participated in meetings with grace and humor. I hope.
Animals were cared for. I got a lot of horse supplements that were too heavy to lift, so I got help with moving them out of the rain.
I listened to another Master Naturalist webinar to help me reach my continuing education requirement. They are always good, but they conflict with a work meeting, so I must watch recordings.
I texted with my friend Mandy. She does speech to text so she says way more than me.
I knitted a lot while Lee enjoyed the Dune movie that came before the current one. Spicy. I didn’t realize that Timothée guy was just a kid.
Now, wasn’t that fascinating? Must I blog all this? Well, why not? Sometimes I like reading that other people out there have their share of boring days. So, now you know I do, too. I prefer that to drama!
The Hermits' Rest 