daily life – Page 13 – The Hermits' Rest

Am I Paranoid or Are They Really Out to Get Me?

I’m not doing myself any favors by watching the news. And it’s really not a good idea to listen to friends’ conspiracy theories. I try to avoid them but they sneak in, leading to nightmares like I used to get during the “duck and cover” years. Yes, yes, I’m too sensitive.

I always felt bad about those trees. And the people nearby.

I get told “they” are making lists of us members of a nonexistent terrorist organization. I can’t find the local meeting schedule or the state office. Maybe I don’t know the secret handshake? I don’t wear the correct golden pin on my lapel? Besides, I thought we fought whole wars against certain kinds of dictatorships. Anyway, if you’re putting me on a list, note that I tried to be kind.

Maybe that Mockingbird who watches me so closely is secretly a spy drone. I hope my birding doesn’t put the people watching the footage to sleep.

I get told to not mention certain topics while my phone is “listening,” and I guess I should be careful what I blog about, since the Chinese are so interested in my writing (really, that still cracks me up). No wonder my subconscious can get paranoid.

Lest you think I was kidding, check out these September 17 stats.

Heck, I did a Mabon tarot reading tonight with my online group, and YOW. It was paranoid! I got the nightmare card, the card about being trapped, and one about swimming against the tide. The rest were all unpleasant wands. My tarot friends pointed out that there IS an escape route on that 8 of swords, and the blindfold can be undone.

All kidding aside, I think my subconscious is just trying to ensure that I don’t wear rose-colored glasses so thick that they allow me to sink so far into denial that I don’t notice important indicators of potential danger. Whatever happens is going to happen, though, so dwelling on possibilities won’t change things—paying attention and swimming against the current without letting myself drown—seems prudent.

And by the way. Things keep breaking. Our upstairs air conditioner’s fan decided now would be a good time to quit working. We will add air conditioner repair to the list, along with RV generator repair. I’m now laughing at it. I promise I’m not invoking broken infrastructure!

And don’t worry, there’s plenty of good stuff to balance things out, appropriate for the season. At least I knew the Rapture wasn’t gonna come get me. I appreciate the wisdom of Jesus, but not what’s been done in his name, especially lately.

Anything Good to Say Today?

Let’s see, autumnal equinox or Mabon occurred today. At least in the wheel of the year there is balance between dark and light twice a year, which is more than you can say about other forces at work in the world.

Um, and it’s New Year’s in the Hebrew calendar. I ate some honey and wished my many Jewish friends a good new year. We could all use one.

That’s what I’ve got for today…wait a sec, I did enjoy a very pleasant hike on the Lakeside Trail along Bob Sandlin Lake. I saw a Brown Thrasher and enjoyed many pretty views.

In honor of the season I tried to find a sampling of autumn leaves. There were a few. It’s still a while before Texas Autumn.

Back at home I was reminded that daily annoyances do not ever disappear (and are normal). I couldn’t get the tack room door to open all the way, so I called my son to the rescue, only to find out the door is a mess. He says maybe he can lower the steps. In the meantime, it’s hard to get the horse dishes through the opening.

I also nearly broke the freezer shelf that’s already partly broken. So much is broken that I can’t fix! My bathroom sink in the motorhome no longer works, my bedroom slide out is dead again, the generator won’t start, yadda yadda. Recreational vehicles are not very sturdy. Nor are houses. They all fall apart and you need to find people to fix them. As we get older, there’s more we can’t do ourselves. No wonder people move into those senior care places. They have maintenance staff.

Just whining. All will be well. I just realized this afternoon that I hit a limit on broken things not bothering me. I must do a reset or fix something!

I’ll think back on cool sights, like this blue-tipped dancer.

Obviously there was not all that much great today, but I treasure the good parts!

Yes, More Niceness, Bird Edition

I tried to write a post with some substance, but I’ve had a headache for two days and I couldn’t concentrate. So I’ll tell you what I enjoy lately.

Bluebird – it’s blurry, so obviously by me.

Yes, I’ve really been enjoying Eastern Bluebirds this week. In the evening they gather to swoop around and eat insects, pose on the fence, or soar while singing their beautiful song. I may have mentioned this before, but this is the first place I ever lived where there are bluebirds. Every time I see or hear one, it’s a little thrilling, even though I probably saw a dozen today.

I love how their wings flash in flight. This and the rest of the images are from Pexels.

The Red-shouldered Hawks are the most visible raptors right now. In my walk this morning I heard at least four engaged in the daily Crow battle. It even drowned out Carolina Wrens. This evening, just as I headed inside, a large Red-shouldered (probably female) flew over me so low that I could distinguish her feathers. It probably was looking for tasty bluebirds. Boo hoo.

Another bird that’s excited me this year is the Baltimore Oriole. I didn’t know we had them until last year. I’ve now seen a couple, along with Orchard Orioles. But today I heard one sing for the first time, not just chirp. Holy Cow, it was magnificent. I had no idea.

And if you ever get the chance to hear a recording of a Lark Sparrow song, do so. They come by their names honestly. It’s sorta like a clownish version of a lark. They also can belt it out.

Isn’t that nice? A whole written blog about sounds I enjoy. If you have Merlin Bird ID, though, you can play recordings, though. So go do that. I’ll read a book about beavers.

Cheerful Moments

Ok! Cute things here we come! This morning I found where all the false foxgloves were hiding this year? And they were right next to a hawthorn tree with lots of fruit.

No matter how well I think I know the woods at the ranch, I keep finding new things. I ventured around to see what else I could find. There were many spiders!

After all that nature stuff it was time for our horse lessons. Both horses did their best. So did I, with much practice at riding with the reins in one hand and cantering. I have stopped gripping the saddle horn with a death grip. Progress.

You did good. So did you. Mmm, Apache, that diaper cream on your nose smells great.

Vicki and Drew definitely had their best lesson so far. Drew showed some of his good side, even with the precious foals racing around and distracting him.

The best thing was that Droodles walked around the round pen with very little drama. It shows he’s gaining confidence in Vicki! I’m very proud of their progress.

After I got home we had a lovely green chile stew made by my friend Martha. She, Mike, Lee and I had a wonderful conversation on the porch as the sun set.

Nothing but goodness.

Stay Tuned

I just finished reading the wonderful book, Braiding Sweetgrass, which somehow I hadn’t managed to read yet. No doubt there was a good reason I didn’t read it when I bought it, but of course I loved it, since it’s a Suna kind of book. I’ll write more about it later.

I wonder if there’s any Native American use for this? I don’t think so. Poor Santa Maria Feverfew is basically noxious and invasive, though native here.

I haven’t been feeling well today, just digestive issues, which are boring to anyone not living in my current household, where such things are favorite conversation topics. THIS is how I know we are no longer young, I think.

I tried to avoid noxious weeds today. But this aggressive vine does have pretty flowers and seed pods (balloon vine).

Much of the day was spent reading Robert Reich’s new memoir, which also doesn’t help my stomach (too many details on why the US is going to hell in a hand basket), though I do like him as a person. I also napped, listened to bluebirds, and watched a little college football. I favor no team, so I just watch young men run around and I then enjoy insurance commercials.

Another sport I enjoy is flower diving, which many bumblebees did this morning.

I did take a good walk and did a lot with Apache, who kept me on my toes. He loves to act like he doesn’t want to be caught so I have to practice my catching methods, but eventually he just stands there and puts his head in the halter. Maybe he thinks I need more exercise, not him. Hmph.

He did get a lot of exercise, including lots of muscle-building cantering, then we rode out to the round pen. I was proud of him for not having an issue walking by an unfamiliar truck and people messing with the garbage dumpster on his way to the round pen.

I was less proud trying to go on our trail when the truck started up and made a weird noise. He really wanted to make a run for the barn, throw me off, or otherwise embarrass us both in front of someone who doesn’t think much of our horsemanship. But, by golly, I let him cool off once I could get him to stop, and we were able to go on the paths and walk calmly.

I was even able to spot our first aster blossoms of the year, proof autumn is coming.

I was proud of me, then, because other than a brief moment of worry, I took the incident as a chance to practice all my Apache calming techniques. So much to learn, but we have come far enough that I’m satisfied.

Even though days are growing shorter, we still have swallows. Dozens of Cave Swallows today.

Let’s see if the rain avoids us again tomorrow for lessons…

I Did It

What did I do? I survived an overwhelming work week without losing my temper at anyone. I’m sure glad this week was only four work days!

Flying away like these cattle egrets was very tempting!

The minute I stopped answering questions along with my equally frazzled colleague, I went to dinner with Lee and our neighbor, which got me out of the house and laughing at least a bit! It reminded me of how much I miss Sara, up there farming her heart out in Wisconsin. Her husband is about done emptying their house here out. Sniff.

This ground cherry blossom brings some cheer! They’re always turned down, so it’s fun to turn them over.

I’m impressed with my dedication to my equine pursuits, because when I got home, I went straight to horse world, fed everyone and got all Apache’s prescribed cantering and other ground work done before it was dark. Bonus: it was a little cooler by 7:30 pm.

I attempted to water my sad geranium but when it moved I realized I was watering the porch toad (Penney’s friend). It’s a Gulf Coast toad.

So, I did it. Got all my training and documentation revision done, was social, enjoyed horses, and even made my daily exercise goals. Woo-ee. I deserved the blissful hour I spent finishing August on my temperature blanket and watching the Captain Picard show.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll be more interesting!

Regressing to Childhood?

Maybe. I was a bit too tired to do much after I finally finished a long work day, plus it was suddenly 100° outside after a break in the weather.

So I sat in my chair this evening and colored in my coloring book. It took me a few evenings to do this one, because I only do it when my hands get tired of crocheting.

Design, colored in markers and gel pens.

The design is from a book in a series a friend of mine writes, where she re-draws art to color, but also includes information on the source of the designs.

This is the book. Note the tasteful version of the image I did.

I have a couple of other books in Sugar’s series, too. She is a very fun jewelry designer and often teaches classes. I met her in the waiting room when each of our husbands was having oral surgery. Check out the series if you like adult coloring books.

I also find the bleed-through on the back fun to look at. The book contains blank pages to blot up excess ink.

I also got a coloring book by another friend’s daughter, which has lovely Art Deco and Art Nouveaux images, with lots of space. I may try different techniques on those. Once I get the motorhome opened up again, I’ll have access to my pencils and crayons.

I’m glad to have this throwback activity to ease my mind. I loved coloring when I was little. It’s one of the things that kept me quiet (along with reading, but I read too fast and often ran out of books). I often colored outside in my treehouse. I’m pretty much the exact same person I used to be, only less anxious.

Another Lee photo. He likes to crop them this way.

Time to conk out. Thanks for enjoying my activity.

Tonight I Chose Better

Better what? Better evening beverage. I grabbed one of Kathleen’s special drinks last night and enjoyed it. But it turns out to have secretly been an “energy drink.” Thus I got less sleep last night than I’d have preferred.

And because of my schedule, I was up with the sun.

And today was two long trainings plus other deep discussions. By the end of the day I was zonked, so I was sure to choose water this evening. Now I’m nice and sleepy.

I do want to share that early this morning while listening to birds I heard some kind of bellow in the trees, like a cough, sort of. I thought I imagined it, but it repeated, loudly. That’s when I noticed movement. It was a group of deer. That made sense, once I realized what it was. Mr Deer was alarmed at something! Not me. I was quiet and still.

During my zonked period late this afternoon, I was rewarded by getting to watch Mockingbirds feeding, mostly just hanging out with me. behind them, the rabbits threw caution to the wind and were merrily hopping over each other.

They were joined by some melodically chirping cardinals and flocks of Eastern Bluebirds overhead making their haunting cries. One flew over my head, but no poop happened.

I felt much more relaxed after that! And one final nature note: the Rio Grande rain lilies are blooming again. That’s the third time this summer. Yay for Saturday’s rain!

Do I Have the Blues?

It looks like I do. I made a drink from one of Kathleen’s little flavor packets and ended up with the blues: blue drink, nails, hair, and glasses. I will point out that I had a brown shirt (with a blue Roadrunner on it).

Good thing the light washed out my hair.

On a more serious note, I shared this story on Facebook this morning:

What a morning at my birding platform. First, I was just sitting here, watching Baltimore Orioles flying around, when I heard a Green Heron. Then I saw it, flying toward me, aiming directly over my head. I thought how pretty it was, but wondered what would happen if it pooped. Then a big white glob came down! Thankfully it landed just inches off my concrete pad. My blue hair is safe!

Then, after measuring yesterday’s .02” of rain, I gazed over at the fence. Oh my gosh, something was hanging from one of the chrysalises I’d been watching! It was a fresh, new Gulf Fritillary. It’s our most common large butterfly, since we have lots of sorrel vines that they love. This is the first time I’ve ever seen a butterfly emerging in the wild. What a privilege!

The humor and beauty carried me through an intense work day just fine! A meeting ended early, too, so I had time to give Vicki some slightly old frozen meat to make into dog food and exercise the horses. Neither horse was into it. I think I should have let them rest.

They were peaceful on our evening stroll, though. It’s hard to get them all in one photo.

Just a little relaxation with the animals prevents the psychological blues from coming over me, though. Watching the dogs play in the long grass at sunset was a great way for me and Lee to wind down. They don’t get out much, but for once they stayed with us and didn’t run off to roll in poop.

I’m thinking about so many of you all, dealing with what comes your way as best you can. We are in this together. As my friend Kathy just reminded me, we’re all under the same moon!

A Meteorological Respite

Ah. Today we got beautiful rain, over 2” but I won’t measure until the morning. It was another great day to read on the porch!

I was sorry to miss my horse lesson but we’ve rescheduled for tomorrow. Let’s hope tomorrow’s rain is not between 10-1 or at least not heavy. I can ride in light rain. The horses spent the day blissfully cool. Once it wasn’t raining hard, they were out enjoying the “low” temperatures.

I didn’t take horse pictures, so here’s another porch view.

I, too, appreciated having a day without drips of sweat in my eyes and sopping wet bras. I did try not wearing a bra, but the sweat running down to my wisdom belly was also unpleasant. I’m not gonna sit inside all day like a delicate creature, though. Knowing it will be more pleasant in a few weeks gives me hope.

The other thing I liked about this respite from blazing hot sun is that sunsets are so pretty with clouds in the sky. I enjoyed today’s sunset by the pool while I watched nighthawks eliminating excess insects.

I guess the best part about staying inside most of the day was that I got a lot of comforting reading done (Braiding Sweetgrass), got my August birds added up, crocheted almost all of the August section of the temperature blanket, and got my journal ready for September. What that really means is that I played with all my toys: books, colorful pens, paper, washi stickers, and oh yes, yarn! My indoor toys sometimes get neglected when I’m outside all the time.