community – Page 9 – The Hermits' Rest

Eye Witness to the Circle of Life

Today was a great camping day here at Buescher State Park. I’d like to start the highlights with some coolness that happened right at my campsite.

This is a Gulf fritillary butterfly in the straggler daisies behind our motorhome. I was knitting and enjoying the afternoon as various butterflies flitted by. This one seemed to have an agenda.

It flew over to a vine just beyond the edge of the woods. The butterfly spent a lot of time going from leaf to leaf. I actually hadn’t noticed the vine before, but looking at it I realized it resembled a passion vine. I hadn’t seen any here yet, and there it was, right in front of me.

As I was taking the photo above I noticed something. There were two caterpillars on the vine. I took pictures of them, too. Then I went to look up the plant and the insect.

Well. The plant was a yellow passionflower (Passiflora lutea). The caterpillars were Gulf fritillary babies. The butterfly had been laying eggs. Right there, the whole circle of life! Now I know the host flower for these guys.

As for the rest of the day, it started with chatting by the breakfasts of various fellow camping friends. Then I sort of led an interpretive hike down a wooded trail with seven other people. It was fun teaching the two kids some stuff as well as learning from all the campers.

We found some pretty flowers among the trees, including exuberant liatris, pink ruellia, and these darling tiny blue curls.

I enjoyed walking with folks who were as excited about little flowers as me, and a couple of the fellow campers were great observers. We even geeked out over fungi and molds.

It was a great time, but we ended up tired!

I did my nails a dark yet sparkly celestial color for the end of my beloved Daylight Savings Time, then hung out with various friends in the afternoon. It’s so good talking to people who know and accept you.

I made egg salad for the traditional Live Oak potluck meal. The eggs weren’t cooperative so it took a while, but it ended up tasty. Especially with homemade salsa on it.

For a small group we ended up with a perfect variety of foods. We just fit in the tent pad on one of our campsites. It was great to all be able to talk to each other. There was only one couple I hadn’t met yet, who were lots of fun and very interesting. What a good time.

The gang, minus Joanna and Tom, cause she has to preach tomorrow.

On our way back to our site, Lee and I tried to take star pictures. Mine are only okay because I moved and messed up Jupiter. We also tried to get some of the lake.

What a great day!

Lessons Learned, Respect Earned

Today was full of ups and downs. I’m dealing with internal drama that has nothing to do with anyone else, but it’s making me impatient and snappy. I’m not at my best.

But guess who doesn’t care about any of that, as long as I leave it all back in the house? The horses. I just read a blog post by my trainer, Tarrin, who reminded us to only bring joy to our horses, not our baggage. That’s such good advice! And I did that today, because the moment I set eyes on my little herd, my stress fell away and was replaced with warmth and happiness.

It’s a pleasure to check in with each horse and Fiona the donkey, seeing how they’re feeling after a recent escapade with locking themselves in a small pen, noticing how calm and loving Mabel has become since starting supplements for ulcers, how irritated Drew is with his hurt head from the pen episode, and how happy Apache was to get loved on and de-burred.

It was Apache’s turn to be ridden today, and we are doing an exercise about going to the edges of his boundaries. It was going fine until I headed him in his “bad” direction just as Lee sped by in Hilda the utility vehicle. He threw his head down to shake the reins out of my hands and started to take off. But, hooray, I was prepared and did the correct version of a one-rein stop and he did, indeed, stop.

I swear I could hear Apache thinking, “Dang, that trick doesn’t work anymore.” He was a fine fellow the rest of the ride, including trotting around the outside of the round pen. Much petting and praise ensued. I’d gained his respect a bit more.

That’s the power of learning lessons from those who have more experience than you do. I’m lucky to have mentors and teachers in my life like Tarrin to impart these lessons in ways I can best hear them and use them.

Thank whoever’s helped you get through your challenges and empowers you to keep going. These are people to treasure! Thanks, Tarrin.

And thanks to Carlton for being goofy in his zest for unearthing hidden tissues. Hard to be sad watching that.

I Had a Party and Didn’t Stress Out

Here’s the key to not getting stressed when hosting an event: do it away from your house. Our little Airbnb, the Red House on Fannin, is a great place to hold a small gathering. It is so convenient to have a kitchen and lots of space for “stuff.”

So, some of my friends had asked me to tell them how I do my nails with the Color Street strips. It occurred to me that we could have fun doing it in a group.

When I mentioned it to Rebecca, who actually sells the stuff, she volunteered to send along a bunch of the nice accessories, like nail files, orange sticks, cuticle pushers, and more. She sent so many goodies! I really enjoyed being able to give them to my friends.

I wrote up a tips and tricks document for the attendees, too. At the party, I just answered questions and did one friend’s nails. That was hard, because sadly, some of the old ones dried up. We Zoomed Rebecca in from Washington, which was an added treat.

My chair is the empty one. We filled the room.

The best part, though, was the snacking and chatting and laughing. It ended up being a really congenial mix of women, and it felt good to introduce people and hear them say they made a new friend. I’m smiling just thinking about it. I agreed with my friend Jeannette that we’ve both made more friends here than anywhere else we’ve lived, even though this is a small place.

What a great feeling! I enjoyed seeing Anita meet more new folks, too. In the end, we agreed to get together again, with or without nail polish.

I’ve sure enjoyed all sorts of friends in the last week. It sure helps even out feelings of hopelessness and helplessness about world events and tragedies closer to home. I’m sending out lots of love, though.

Tired, but a Good Kind of Tired

It was a fun day with a good balance of exploring the hidden corners of the ranch and being a people person. But I’m so tired I’m afraid this will end up as one of those typo-filled collections of gibberish.

I really enjoyed the coolest morning so far after the horrid summer. I went all over the more inaccessible areas of the Hermits’ Rest Ranch. I was looking for butterflies and certain specific plants. I succeeded in finding monarchs, a few other butterflies, and passionflowers (plus passion fruit). That’s a lot of beauty. Ooh do those passionflowers smell nice.

I’ll share more later. But I made good contributions to the iNaturalist 2023 Texas Pollinator BioBlitz. That felt good. I even got observations at the place where I went this afternoon!

I found the most interesting insect, the large-tailed aphid eater, or bird hoverfly (*Eupeodes volucris*)

And where I spent the afternoon was being a vendor at a showcase at the Little River Event Center, one of the two nice local venues that recommend our short-term rental, the Red House on Fannin. Anita joined me partway through the event.

We met some very nice folks, and I really enjoyed the young woman with a Photo Booth next to me. There were all the usual wedding vendors like photographers, event planners, florists, and caterers. They were mostly younger women with small children, but not all were.

The first thing I learned was that colors should be neutral. We were the only red thing in the venue. The second thing was that I need a sign. Otherwise it was lots of fun and we made good contacts, along with visiting with some friends.

This beautiful ranch is just outside of Cameron.

I appreciate the opportunity to get out and introduce people to our little house. It’s working out pretty well! I’m glad there are places like these event venues that will promote us, and we can return the favor.

Now to crash. Sorry if there are more typos than usual.

Life without a Computer Is Like Snow White in the Forest

Your life without a computer: what does it look like?

Now, y’all may be surprised by my answer to this question, given that I have made my career in online activities and teaching folks about software. I made websites when there were no images in them, after all (1993).

First, I’d still be outside a very often, hiking, playing with horses and dogs, and observing plants, birds and other wildlife.

You can see my house way down this hill.

Second, I’d still be knitting, crocheting, doing needlepoint and all that. I’d just have books to learn from and go to the library a lot, just like I did in the blissful 70s and 80s.

I think I’d do many of the same things in person that I now do online. I’m a writer, so nothing will stop me from writing. I used to be a great typist, too. I typed a book on Catalan using three different IBM Selectric type balls, which you young folks have never even heard of, probably. I also have excellent handwriting in cursive, that ancient indecipherable script.

I could also still teach adults. I guess I’d teach at a community college or vocational school. From books. Books are good.

Book I’m reading. I prefer real books, but use the Kindle when traveling. I’m not an auditory learner by preference, so I’m not as fond of listening to them.

I’d create communities, too, just like I used to do with email groups and chat software, but (gasp) in person. I do that now, anyway, or try to. I love being with like-minded people to learn and support each other. Who needs Zoom?

But mostly I’d wander around listening to birds and watching butterflies, just like Snow White or whoever it was that had all the forest creatures flocking around her in a cartoon. Ah, it was Sleeping Beauty.

I think I’d be very happy. I was certainly happy outdoors among nature today. It rained 1.5” overnight, so all the living beings were happy. I even recorded two new birds on the Merlin app, a gray catbird and house wren (both birds I’ve seen before but never recorded). And it was only up to 84° today!

I didn’t hear these vultures, but I saw them, along with a crested caracara and a red-shouldered hawk.

The only sad part was finding a beautiful leopard frog that had gotten caught in the shredder last night when all the front field got all smooth and pretty. But that means there are probably more of these beauties!

Yes, autumn is actually here. It’s even going to be chilly this weekend! Enjoy my nature photos from my pleasant nature walk today.

Red Flags or Intuition?

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

I rolled my eyes when I saw this prompt. I have found that some people just give me an instant negative reaction or at least I get negative “vibes” soon after. I’m right about it more often than not; it’s one of my innate abilities.

Photography is not an innate ability though this seed pod is pretty.

I HAVE been wrong about those vibes a couple of times. There are a couple of good friends who rubbed me the wrong way at first, but grew on me.

Apache wonders if he’s one of those friends. I’m smiling now.

Upon additional thought about red flag traits, I managed to come up with one personality type that makes me want to avoid people. It’s folks who have no topics of conversation other than themselves and lack the social skills to recognize when they ought to give someone else a turn. It seems like every group I’ve been in, from La Leche League groups to spiritual groups to book clubs has one of these.

I try to be patient with such folks. They may be lonely or they may have a disability that affects them. Sadly, I’ve seen more than one group break up or dwindle to just a few patient folks because of this.

I hope to all that is sacred that I’m not one of those people. I try to cut my stories short, but may fail. The thing is, I love to hear about other people’s lives; I just want everyone to get a turn.

Any other traits that are red flags? Probably being intentionally racist, sexist, or homophobic. Cruelty to animals. Stuff like that.

Drew points out that he is an animal and we’re not cruel to him.

I must tell you a trait I like in others, and that’s being kind to others. I appreciated it today when Tarrin’s husband, Teddy, helped Lee deal with a horse trailer gone bad. He found a nail in it but got it filled enough to get home. New tires are in our future.

I also truly appreciate the man in the pickup truck who followed us down Tarrin’s road, even into the parking lot of the new Milano gas station/truck stop. It turned out that when we heard a big clunk after hitting a tree branch (road not meant for RVs), it was our fancy television antenna being ripped off the roof. This kind man saw it, picked up the antenna, and brought it to us. Lee said he couldn’t tell the guy thank you enough.

See, there are many helpful people out there! They raise green flags with me!

Hard to Hold a Grudge

Are you holding a grudge? About?

Am I? I just don’t think I’m a grudge kind of person and I don’t think I ever was. Especially nowadays, when it’s become abundantly clear that everyone is a bit of a mess and capable of treating people poorly. Me too. So I cut the people around me a lot of slack.

I pondered this at lunch at a local park while watching blue-gray gnatcatchers flit around.

I have been angry at a couple of people and one institution (which is what comes closest to a grudge) who truly treated me badly. But for the ones I think of right off the bat, I know they thought/think their actions were the right thing to do. One I hear is now ashamed at what they said to and about me and my family. I feel no need to get back at them or make them feel worse.

Still, I’m not going to put myself in the position of allowing them to mistreat me again. I think the best thing to do in these situations is to put them out of my mind. Bearing a grudge entails thinking about the offending party too much to make me comfortable. It takes a while but it’s possible to let things go. I prefer to let the past be past, not consume myself with worrying about the future, and treasure today—the good and challenging parts.

Good parts of a day always include plants

I have to say that occasionally an old institutional grudge comes back, hard as I’ve tried to banish the word “chaordic” from my mind. The people in that organization are still among some of the most vindictive, self righteous, and divisive bunch of women I’ve ever seen (and others are among the kindest and most loyal friends on earth). Anyway, the little fringe alumnae group I still help out with has come under attack (of course by unknown parties). I could feel the bile rising in my gut. I was, as they say, triggered. I asked myself why the hell I let myself get talked into being involved again, even a little. I did NOT heed my own advice to walk away.

I guess this is a good opportunity to test my ability to concentrate on the good and put the triggering behaviors out of my mind. Let’s see how I do.

We can all learn from mistakes and acknowledge when we were wrong. Sometimes grudges end that way.

Other times, like with the relative currently trying to cause me pain, we can realize people are unable to change, and simply let them go. You can’t hold a grudge if you no longer care.

I guess my institutional grudges keep popping back up because I can’t stop caring about the good people involved. This goes for my deep disappointment in my old church. Hmm. Maybe I figured something out!

I didn’t even need a giant slab of limestone to ponder this on!

Thanks to the blog prompt folks for making me think this through.

Why Do I Blog?

Why do you blog?

Oh good, today’s blog prompt is at least easier than yesterday’s, though I can’t complain. My interview with Anita yesterday went over very well and started interesting conversations and apparently even gave some of her old friends new information. That was fun!

Now, today I’m supposed to tell you why I blog. The thing about this is that there are so many reasons that I may end up blathering away. I really enjoy blogging, though; perhaps that’s the main reason! I like writing, especially on topics that aren’t all serious like my work stuff.

Another reason I blog is that it creates a kind of community. I’ve enjoyed reading blogs since blogs were invented, and the insights into other people’s lives I’ve gotten have expanded my knowledge about different cultures and ways of thinking. I’ve found that interacting with folks in the comments is a way to make new friends. The feedback really is a lot of fun for me.

Blogging is also a way to keep in touch with far-flung friends and family. In the last century, people wrote letters to keep up with those they care about. I was also a big letter writer when I was in my teens and twenties, which I didn’t realize until I found a huge box of letters I’d received that were obviously in response to letters I’d written. I also emailed a lot when that came around, but I no longer have time to write long emails to everyone I want to talk to. So it’s a one-way blog blast (and I just hope those folks comment on my Facebook posts of the blog to keep the communication more two way.

In other posts I’ve made on this topic (which I am too lazy to look up, but I remember writing) I’ve talked about how blogging can also be a way of talking to myself, but also sharing it so I can get feedback. I used to journal but when there was no potential audience, I got maudlin and to be honest, I think I lied to myself. For some reason, I’m more “truthful” if I think there may be someone around to call me on any self-indulgent or overly dramatic crap I spew forth. There, a somewhat shameful admission from me.

More mundane reasons I blog are so I’ll be able to check out my pictures and memories of my travels, my work with the horses, and the things we do around the ranch (which can be challenging sometimes, because sometimes I’m not sure if it’s okay for me to share what other people here do).

I can share my old but happy Hoya plant.

It’s great fun to take photos to go with blog posts, too. I’m glad that some of my friends also enjoy them. Someday I hope phone photos look forward to a time when phone photos look a bit more like photos from a good camera. However, it will still be me taking the pictures, so you get what you get.

A tiny ray of cheer. Something is still blooming.

Thanks for reading, everyone. And yes, Mary, I do think there are more than five readers. But I’d love to hear from more of you, so feel free to comment, if you can.

How do you like my Moonlight Swim nails?

Meet My Friend Anita!

Interview someone — a friend, another blogger, your mother, the mailman — and write a post based on their responses.

Hmm, already I am wondering if it was a good idea to do this project where I answer the daily prompt for the month of September. I was stumped about who I could interview that wouldn’t take forever and would be somewhat interesting.

Then I realized I have lots of friends who are good writers, and that actually, everyone is interesting; So, I narrowed the list of possibilities down to who I figured could type fast and was bribable. Okay! So, I promised to pay to take Anita to the Barbie movie if she’d introduce herself to all five of you who read this blog!

And if you want to answer these same questions, you can be a blog post, too. It’s like the blog will practically write itself.

All About Anita

(In her own words)

Where were you born? Did you stay there long?

Stoneham, Massachusetts. We left after 6 months because my dad’s mother died and he wanted to go back to Delaware. And probably also because I crawled out the front door of the house and into the front yard without anyone noticing for a good while. I distinctly remember doing this. The first, but certainly not the last, time I tried to run away from home.

Where were your ancestors from?

Scotland, England, Ireland. I am as White as White can be.

Any siblings?

I had an older brother who died in 2007 of brain cancer. On Mother’s Day. But before that, he spent a lot of time tickling me, holding me up to the ceiling, or hanging me over the toilet and threatening to flush me down, all of which I thought was great. He was a very cool guy with a dry sense of humor and great taste in music.

Share three good or funny memories of high school

Uhhhh, hmmm, hanging out with you in your bedroom, playing records and talking and writing; skipping class to go to the beach in Boca Raton; cutting up confetti and bringing a giant black sign with the middle finger painted on it in white to high school football games (of course, I got in some trouble for that; The Man also didn’t like the confetti much. Huh.).

Share the three things you liked least about high school.

9th grade English: My life was threatened a number of times by a classmate, and also the teacher was incredibly incompetent. A certain “friend” who thought she owned me. The snobbishness and rudeness of some of the more well-off kids toward those of us who were considered weirdos or were living in poverty.

Where did you go to college? What was your major?

East coast South Florida. My initial major was journalism, but the program at my upper-level school was garbage (and my time working at a major newspaper kinda ruined it too), so I switched to Film, which I loved and still love to this day.

What kinds of jobs have you had as an adult?

Somewhat boringly and consistently, I have been an editor in the hard sciences all of my career. I’ve also rehabbed some houses, one in keeping with local and national standards of historic preservation (it was a 200+-year-old house).

What’s your favorite kind of food?

I love Mediterranean cuisines. And Indian food. And sushi. And a good brownie hot fudge sundae.

Tell us some of your collections.

Oh my. Pez, CDs, old movie DVDs. Pueblo pottery, southwestern/turquoise jewelry, books about strange/controversial subjects, cacti, rocks/minerals, glass balls, magnets. diner memorabilia, oddball Xmas decorations, objects from Baltimore. I think that’s it, but I’ll probably think of more later.

What’s your spiritual path? Your philosophy?

I believe there is a creative force or energy in the universe not named God or Jesus or Allah or whatever. It is not an old bearded White dude, sitting on a throne, telling me I have to be good or I’ll go to hell and suffer for all eternity. I believe the world would be a better place if we could be our true selves, without all the worries, pain, and suffering society puts on us. I want to live in harmony with nature; I don’t always succeed, but I try. I will hug a tree, dammit.

Do you believe in true love?

I did once, but “life” had other plans for me. And that is heartbreaking to me at times.

Which of your past pets is or was the weirdest?

Wow, they have all been super-weird in some way. Fiesta, a cat I had with my ex-husband, was a complete lunatic, but adorable. Pickle, my current dog, has many, let’s call them, quirks.

Introvert or extravert?

I would say both, depending on the situation and my state of mind. I am not a natural at parties/gatherings where I don’t know the people. I can be rather shy. But if I know you and I like you, I’m pretty much all in. I’m a strong believer in telling people you love them. You just never know when your last day together will be and you don’t want to miss the chance.

Favorite color?

Green green green all the day long. And then orange and yellow.

Thanks so much! I love you too, my long-time friend.

Old and Frustrated

How are you feeling right now?

For September I’ve decided to do an experiment. I’m going to answer the daily prompt that WordPress keeps asking me to respond to, and see how it fits in with what I want to talk about.

Something is blooming on September 1, at least.

So, how AM I feeling today?

Mostly I’m feeling very old. This has been a hard few weeks among my circles. Today another wonderful friend and role model, Norma, died after a valiant struggle to recover from infections. She was a wise breastfeeding advocate, a wonderful writer, and a font (fount?) of humor, especially Jewish.

Yesterday there was another loss close to our family. It reminds me of all the things that you leave behind for others to deal with. Oh please, family, pick a few things you like and auction the rest off. Just scatter my ashes around some trees. I’d like to help.

Yeah. I’m old. But I don’t feel like it. I have so much more to learn. Sigh. I hope my friends who’ve passed (as well as me) get a chance to come back and learn more. Maybe I’ll be a horse.

I still have so many cute horses to pet and tell them they’re good. (I’m doing that here, as Drew stops like a champ.)

I’m also frustrated. But that’s temporary. It was one of those days where whatever I tried to do didn’t quite work out. For example, I missed my 10am meeting, thinking it was at 11. Then I showed up a half hour early to lunch with Anita. At least lunch at the coffee shop was great!

Soup I had for lunch, and plug for the coffee shop.

And I didn’t get upset about this (on purpose, since horses can tell you’re upset) but the darned horses opened a gate and got out TWICE today! It’s no trouble to get them back in at meal time, but when I was relaxing in the pool and looked over to see Apache walking up to the chicken house, I was not amused.

Mmm. Lots of green grass over by the septic field. It’s a place I’m not supposed to take them, but they took themselves.

Note that it’s much harder to entice horses away from what they perceive as better food after they ate their rations and supplements. Still, I was very surprised to see Apache, Mabel, and Fiona come when I called. Dusty came close, so I haltered him and got him in.

I found Droodles hiding between the tack room and Kathleen’s RV, where the grass is quite nice, because it’s shady. He indicated that he’d like to stay, but accepted a cookie and a halter, so I succeeded in not losing my cool (once, a little — I’m human).

I put a bungee cord around the gate they keep opening. I’ll be interested to see how it holds up overnight.

I’m sure the horses are just as annoyed with me as I am with them, because I didn’t give them a bale of hay today. That’s because as I was moving their saddles back to the tack room from the horse trailer, my wagon blew a tire. I can’t carry hay. I’ll empty the wheelbarrow and use it in the morning. I’d love to use the utility vehicle, but it’s bed is full. Woe is me, ranch lady problems. But, hey, I can now open the shipping container doors to get hay out and have figured a way to get to more bales, so I’m a semi-competent ranch lady.