meditation – The Hermits' Rest

Let’s Pivot with Cautious Optimism

All the ideas I got from reflecting on my tarot reading last night swirled around me today. With the nudge I got that maybe I CAN get through these times and help others if I do what it takes to keep me centered, I decided to up my grounding ante.

I got enough time in today to enjoy nature, meditate well, and really see the big picture of what I’m surrounded by—the natural world and its order. Not always peaceful or perfect, but adapting as things change. Thanks, birds and clouds!

The clouds and sunset were gorgeous today.

After all the warmth and grounding I got from Apache and Dusty yesterday, I decided Mabel from the Stable needed a turn. She’d been looking at me with kindness and interest lately.

So, after Apache did his workout, I haltered Mabel, which is her least good skill, and gave her some extra alfalfa while I groomed and de-burred her. Neither was easy. She had mud dried into clay on her coat, which even with my nails I couldn’t completely eliminate. And while her tail is a breeze to get smooth, her mane is another story. For one thing, it’s way up there. She’s a tall Thoroughbred-style mama. And it’s very fine. But I did it, and noted that she was pretty patient.

As her “reward” I took her on a walk, and just for fun, did some longe-line work in the round pen. She was fine, other than getting a little excited toward the end. Her ears were always forward and she stayed focused. I got her to back up and side pass a bit. Well.

That was a lot more fun than working with Drew has been lately. I think we will pivot and play with Mabel while Drew gets a break and maybe finds a home with someone who can work with him the way he needs. If not, he may be the pasture ornament for a while. An expensive one. But I still love him! He’s just too much for my skill set.

I’d look much better without the burs. Yes, I’ll working on him tomorrow.

On the other hand, I feel very calm and centered working with the other three, so that’s good!

Another bucolic scene of nature and peace, brought to you by our back pond.

Doing Something about It

The Universe has spoken. I’m on the right path for right now, and I’m reaping the rewards. Now I need to be an example for others. I’ll explain.

But first, look, I made a thing. It’s a small bag to hang on a hook next to where I sit in the RV. It will hold my nail file, pencils, and scissors. Not having an end table is a pain.*

I’m feeling somewhat better now that I can be outside more. I was even able to work in the porch today. No wonder I was able to hear 50 birds today.

My view was these two cows. One was not feeling well and the other stayed with her, licking her until they napped.

And more horse time has also helped. Lee put out more hay today, and while everyone else wanted to get into the hay, Dusty just hung around with me and let me remove burs. So when Lee was done, I gave Dusty a bonus meal and a grooming session. That helped, because he’s shedding even more than Apache. We even took a nice walk around the obstacles. He liked that. Much hugging was involved.

He’s looking good for his advanced age, just thin.

After I was finished working I fed everyone and took Apache out on a ride. He’s getting so much better at home. We had fun, and he genuinely seemed to enjoy hanging out with me. More hugging occurred.

I ended up taking lots of horse and donkey photos after trying to de-bur Fiona. I only got partway through. My hands hurt.

I know all those bird observing and horse hugging is good, because I went to a tarot group meeting this evening on Zoom. I appreciated the invitation, because I’d been wanting to get back to more readings, but didn’t want to get a scary one all alone. We did a five-card spread and each did our own analysis.

It may look depressing, but it made sense.

I won’t go into what each position was for, since the spread was just for this group. The gist of my interpretation is that I’m one broken-hearted wise woman who needs to turn away from what makes her sad and go meditate or whatever. As usual, the cards back up what I’m trying to do! The Emperor tells me I’m on a path of leadership, and that’s a nudge to go be a good example more. I’ll heed that advice and go do something: be a more vocal proponent of peace and universal love.

Anyway, that was a different and fun day!

*there is no pattern for this. It’s got a single crochet base and double crochet sides using two strands of Dishie cotton yarn. I seamed the center with slip stitches and added a handle 5 stitches wide. I put this here because I know people always want patterns, but this was just a utilitarian object.

The Owls’ Lesson

Owls are everywhere in my life now. You may recall that I saw the same Great Horned Owl (I assume) each time I walked through the woods on the prayer trail on Hilton Head. It would fly up a new branch where I could see and hear it but not photograph it.

Eternally grateful to this healing space.

Since I got back to the Hermits’ Rest on Sunday, owls have been calling morning and night. I’ve heard them occasionally before, but even the Merlin app has heart multiple Great Horned Owls calling back and forth.

Late yesterday afternoon, we were talking to the man who leases our property for his cattle and the owls were so loud we had to stop our conversation. I began to wonder if they were trying to get my attention.

Now, I doubt the owls give us humans a second thought. Still, this morning I heard them, as well as all dusk and into the night. Sometimes it was like owl stereo.

I have not been at all grounded since we got back to Texas. Yesterday I had that annoying buzzy head and feeling my blood rushing that I used to get often. Today I was in panic attack mode most of the morning, barely able to speak. Then my nervous stomach kicked in to where I couldn’t go to my horse lesson. I was feeling puny and powerless.

I was also prickly like this noseburn vine!

After feeding the horses, I sat down to try for the third time of the day to breathe and meditate. That’s when the owls went into heavy hooting mode. So I just listened. Finally, I was able to regulate my breathing and get back into the moment…just in time for flocks of Sandhill Cranes to clamor their way across the crisp afternoon sky.

I thought about what lesson I could draw from being surrounded by these apex predators. What could I take on for myself?

Owls aren’t in your face. They blend in with their surroundings and keep their power to themselves until they need it. That seems like a useful strategy to borrow.

Owls have their communities (hoot, hoot) and stay in touch with their beloved members. I need to do that better, especially with those not on social media. I’m thankful to those who prod me to keep in touch.

Most important to me is that owls know where they fit in with the grand scheme of things. They help keep prey populations from growing too large, but don’t take more than they need. They act as if the trees, meadows, mice, and birds are not less important than them. I think humans (me) could learn from this.

I’m grateful to the owls for reminding me to stay focused on the here and now and to hold on to my strength for when I’ll need it.

Grief comes in waves, and sometimes they push you under for a while. Today I let waves of grief and fear wash over me, though I’m not sure why it hit today. If you are one of those who struggled today, remember you’re not alone and can try to soar and swoop like the cranes and owls tomorrow.

Blessed be.

Calmly Seeing the Good Stuff

What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?

Hello from the Sick Ward known as my condo bedroom. It features knitting, reading material and used socks. I also have flavored water, cough drops, and chargers for my vital electric devices. Add the television and my world is complete.

How do you face an unpleasant illness and not sit around feeling sorry for yourself? You draw on your lifelong habits that keep you centered and focused (as much as possible — I’m human).

First, I’m probably harping on this, but my meditation practice helps me focus and stay calm. Twenty minutes or so in the mornings has always done a lot of good. I like to do it outdoors when possible. Here I’ve been sitting on the balcony. The fresh air feels good flowing in and out as I breathe.

The other habit I have has taken longer to become second nature is to see the good in whatever situation comes up. There’s always something good, though my go-to reaction to challenges is to jump to the worst-case scenario. Just ask my family.

Thus, pausing to find the benefits of where I am right now, was hard to learn. This inconvenient and potentially dangerous illness in “the elderly” (me) has been a good test.

So what’s good about getting Covid on your condo time?

I’m away from Lee, who has a harder time than I do with respiratory illnesses.
I have a beautiful view out my windows.
There’s food in the fridge.
If I need anything, my friend Ken seems like he could help (so far not too sick).
It’s easy to avoid people in this building. I can use the stairs, or could until today. Not breathing well enough.
I can speak again! Some symptoms are improving!
I have enough reading and knitting material that I’m not bored.
I can still work, with breaks.
I got sick early enough that I should be okay to go home.

So, as Monty Python said, “Always look on the bright side of life.”

(Note: there are always sad, hard, and difficult times. Then I just try to find small moments of comfort.)

So Relaxed I Am, for Me

How do you relax?

For a person with anxiety, I’m relaxed much of the time. That’s because I’ve had decades of practice finding ways to relax both my body and my mind. Here’s what I do.

Meditation: my goodness have I meditated a lot in my lifetime, probably years if you add it all up. I started so long ago that it was called TM, or transcendental meditation. I read a lot of books on it, though I never took a class. It was really helpful during my teen years.

Eventually I learned yoga, too, and did a lot of meditation in my spiritual activities. That Starhawk lady had a lot of fun guided meditations that let me help others meditate. I really grew to treasure my time breathing and centering as it became part of my spiritual practice and as I learned more Buddhist teachings. There are so many ways to meditate that I never get bored.

Anyway, it’s relaxing, too.

Knitting: I’ve knitted to relax even longer than I’ve meditated. I learned that from my female relatives, who all seemed to pick up their knitting or crocheting when things got tense.

The repetition and tactile pleasure of handcrafts is soothing both physically and mentally. I especially enjoy it when it’s just complicated enough to keep negative thoughts at bay.

And when truly stressed, knitting can keep me from opening my mouth and making a fool out of myself. I still remember the sock I worked on the day I was told my services were no longer needed at the nonprofit organization. I sat in my office that day and knitted furiously. That sock (it was yellow and blue, as I recall) would not fit onto my foot. For once I didn’t knit too loosely!

I’m just full of stories, huh.

Reading: No doubt many of us read to relax. These days I find fiction fun but not relaxing. I get too involved. I much prefer nonfiction or magazines.

Geez, I love magazines. I love learning about things I’d never thought of before, and I can lose myself in the photography, from home interiors to nature to fast cars and of course to pretty horses.

Pets: all my pets relax me. Okay, sometimes they add to stress, but mostly being with warm, entertaining nonhumans is a great way to relax. Stroking a happy doggy has to add endorphins. I have watched the chickens pecking, clucking, and slurping their water for long stretches of time, too.

I have to admit I spend even more time just hanging around with Fiona and the horses. They are so friendly and trusting. We hang out a lot, with them napping and me stroking their necks. Ahhh.

What relaxes you?

Bring Back the Word of the Year. Enough.

For a few years, I participated in the practice of selecting a word of the year. The idea is to look at the year through the lens of the word you chose.

I didn’t do it for a few years, and haven’t since I started this blog. But, through the miracle of figuring out where the option to search my old Facebook posts is located in the interface, I found my choices from previous years. It appears that the 2013 word was “Flexibility.” Good choice.

And here I found out the 2014 word was “acceptance” (that’s done me good ever since!) and 2015 was “vulnerability.” Whew. I’m glad I’m healthy for my age, because I can see how long it takes to really assimilate concepts that require fundamental changes in my outlook and mindset.

I’m not sure how I got out of the practice of setting a word for each year, because I enjoyed it in the past. Maybe 2016 was a hard year for focusing. It was the year we spent at the little casita. That was, indeed, a confusing year. Of course, I’m glad I didn’t pick a 2020 word, as interesting as that might have been.

2021

It took very little meditation to have this year’s word come to me. My year’s focus and mantra need to be this.

Yes. Whatever happens, I want to find it to be enough. I’m not going to push this year. I want to appreciate what I have, how things are, who is in my life, and what happens. I’m not looking for perfection. I want to abide and accept my circumstances. It’s enough.

I encourage you to find your own word for 2021. Please share, if you would like to.

The Long Way to Fearlessness: Meditation

[By the way, if your personal tradition doesn’t like the word “meditation,” you can substitute “prayer” or something else that works.]

Some folks like to look at something when they meditate, like a flame or a flower. I like things with regular patterns in them, if I’m going to look at something.

Believe it or not, the habit I have cultivated for the longest time is meditation. I probably came to it for self defense; I had a very, very busy brain as a young person. I worried a lot; I daydreamed a lot; I replayed scenarios in my mind; I engaged in endless analysis of my perceived flaws and the perceived flaws of others. I needed a break.

Lucky for me, I liked to go to the library as a little kid, and my mother did not care what I brought home, because when I was reading I was quiet. Sometime around 1970, when I was a preteen, I saw a scary looking book called Transcendental Meditation, by the equally scary looking Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. I thought to myself, “Hey, that’s what all the hippies are talking about” (the “hippies” were actually grad students who rented a house down the street from us).

I must say that back when I was a teen, I did a lot of sitting outside hiding in mossy areas to meditate.

So, I was just a kid, 11 or 12, so I probably didn’t get all the nuances of the technique right, and I never did take an official class in it, but I started meditating almost every day. I got to be pretty good at getting all blank, and I sure felt calmer when I consistently did it.

As time went on, I studied other forms of meditation, finding myself drawn toward something like Zen Buddhist meditation for a long time, learning about entering trance from my pagan friends (who always said I was SO good at that, since they didn’t realize my self-taught practice was pretty much what they were teaching), and of course, taking childbirth classes and practicing all that breathing (hee hee hee, etc.). And as you know, I do yoga as one of my main forms of mind-body exercise.

What did all that get me?

I’m pretty sure that all my meditation allowed me to go many years without any medications for my anxiety issue. It has also provided me with the best tool I have for dealing with physically stressful times, too. That childbirth breathing also works very well at the dentist, when stuck in crowds, or when I’m about to give a speech. A bit of breathing helps a LOT.

All the little leaves are my quiet mind, and the little flowers are those intruding thoughts popping up.

I’ve also found that answers to questions that have been on my mind have popped up while I’m doing my best to think about nothing. Usually one just gently shooes away random thoughts, but when an answer shows up, I see where it goes.

Honestly, meditation was my first step toward fearlessness. Having this wonderful tool in my repertoire to help me through difficult times has been a real blessing. I fear physical pain so much less, and I know that in mentally stressful times, I have a tool to help me recover. Such a simple thing as sitting for a while in silence every day has morphed into a powerful and freeing part of my life.

Does this aply to you?

Do you meditate? Do you prefer to pray and include words directed toward a helpful intermediary? Do you concentrate on a mantra or other phrase? Do you read from a book of meditations of some sort, then think about that? There are many different ways to center yourself and many different things people call “meditation,” but I think everyone needs a way to find their center quickly. Think about what you do. Do you want to learn something new?

Here is a free sample object with a regular pattern to focus on as you quiet your mind. I kid. I don’t have any meditation illustrations, as you can probably tell.

If so, well, there are lots of resources beyond Transcendental Meditation these days, and there may be one that is just right for increasing your own fearlessness and coping with what life brings you

Namaste.