gratitude – The Hermits' Rest

Feeling gratitudinal

Even though I didn’t plan it this way, Thanksgiving at the Hermits’ Rest was very pleasant. There was a distinct lack of drama, argument, and stress. And there was an abundance of birds.

Hello, I’m a Harris’s Sparrow, until they change my name.

Since I simplified the meal, I didn’t stress over cooking, which gave me lots of time to play with the camera (and get frustrated by the image transfer software), as well as feed and pet animals. I had a good morning.

Since I had an easy fresh turkey breast to roast, the only dishes I had to carefully cook were my cranberry sauce and oyster dressing. Both came out great. I made green beans and mashed potatoes later, and the only disaster was gravy boiling over. Not bad. I did make a lot of food, but not as much as usual.

Not shown are green beans with mushrooms and rolls (and pie)

My son has decided not to eat Thanksgiving dinner. I understand and respect it, since I have no interest in the Pilgrim stuff. I read some healing thoughts from Native Americans on using this time for gratitude and friendship, so I went with that. After all, we mostly ate food from the Americas, so that worked for me.

Why does everyone post photos of their meals? I’m not sure. I’m just glad I’ve learned to simplify. This was all delicious, especially the dressing.

I did get to enjoy a nice long visit with my son, which doesn’t happen very often. It was fun comparing notes on local owls and sharing stories of past adventures.

Drinking coffee and sitting in the sun. Nice.

Anita was our only guest at the table, so I’m very glad she was able to join us. She, Lee, and I had such a relaxing and comfortable meal, then just hung out. The hanging out parts were the best thing about the day.

Yep, today I had much to be grateful for. I heard from many family members and friends, too.

It’s heartwarming to be reminded of all your connections all over the country. And we are connected through this means of communication as well, so remember that!

Vlassic reminds you that he’s a connection, too. My formerly jet-black dog!

Today was the least stressful Thanksgiving ever, though it’s been getting better every year. Tomorrow we go visit the birds at Port Aransas, and I hope I can get lots of birding in before the next cold front! I’ll leave you with more of today’s photos. Some I won’t label. Those will be house sparrows, White-throated Sparrows, or White-crowned Sparrows

A Quick Thanks

The whole day today was spent recording myself talking, so there’s not much news from around here.

Okay, there was lots of bird drama, but just imaging “caw, caw, hoot, hoot, screech” and you’ll get the idea.

The arch enemy, Great Horned Owl. You can see the branches it’s perched on in the above photo. Not shown: murder of crows.

The drama has me so on edge that when I heard the sound of dozens of starlings flying right over my head, I was kind of creeped out.

Zoom in and you can see the last wave of starlings

My point today is that I want all of you to remember there are kind, good, and caring people in this world. You are among them. I am so touched by the sweet things some of you say to me after reading one of my rants or about moments of sadness. My gratitude for you, friends, both known and unknown, is immense. You matter. Very much.

Georgia on My Mind

Who was your most influential teacher? Why?

I’m lucky to have had many wonderful teachers throughout my life, many of whom are also friends. That’s a privilege. I’m interrupting my travelogue of state park visits to once again mention my most influential teacher (because I’m pretty sure I’ve gushed about this before), Georgia.

I’m not splashing pictures of her in this post. She knows who she is.

She taught me syntax and pragmatics (among other things) in graduate school in Illinois. The academic stuff was great—the staff at that school really made my favorite topics interesting. But it turned out that I didn’t have what it takes to be a linguistics professor after all (though I loved teaching it).

Me in the 1980s when I was mentally unstable.

How convenient it was for me that I learned ideas and skills I’d use for my whole life from Georgia’s examples. Her examples as an instructor, editor, spouse, parent, political activist, and critical thinker are with me every day. For example, I learned to write, proofread, and edit after reading her corrections on my work. Thanks for the career skills, Georgia!

How she raised her children greatly influenced my own parenting, since I lacked a sane role model in the mother department. I admire her children so much today!

The most important thing she taught me, though, was to accept others as they are. She knew me in my worst years, when I made one bad decision after another, and thought more with my hormones than my brain. Georgia was still kind and gracious to me and still is today. That in itself is one of the greatest lessons she imparted, that people don’t have to be perfect to be loved.

This guy and I are still teaching each other that lesson.

Enough mushiness on that topic, except to say that we are all taught by so many people and teach others as well. Let’s try to teach positive lessons!

Cold but Empowered

I don’t think I’ve been as cold as I was today in a long time. In fact, it was ten years ago, the last time I worked in Canada. They can really do a good polar vortex there!

The wind chill was around 6° when I was feeding the chickens, but my insides were warm all day. It’s absolutely astounding how friends and supporters show up when you need them, and I sure got a lot of help after my earlier post today. Maybe I should remember to ask for support more often.

Never forget that there are many kind, smart, and thoughtful folks out there in social media land, not just bots and trolls. Thanks to comments, messages, and memes sent my way, I now have great ideas on what I can do to make positive use of my concerns and insights into how recent events affect others. Even the posts from thoughtful people I disagree with helped me gain perspective.

So thank you, all of you. You make the world more positive, and keep me more grounded.

Give the Lady and the Gelding Gold Stars

All my life I’ve wanted to be a partner to a horse and enjoy riding well together. Today was the day! Shoot, not only did I drive myself to my lesson (even filled the Gladiator with gas) and back, but I experienced what it’s like to really communicate with a horse while riding. I can finally say I can ride a horse without mumbling “sort of” under my breath. Give Suna a Gold Star!

Here are your stars, from your favorite bird, Bluey.

I was able to ask Apache (who still has his sparkly extensions) to go from walk to trot to faster and slower to stop just by adjusting my seat. We both had a great time doing it. We still have lots to work on, for sure, but I have confidence now. We communicate.

I communicate when I feel like it. Don’t ask me to side pass left. I’ll twitch my ears and swish my sparkly tail.

As for Apache, he also stepped up a level. He cantered with Tarrin riding him. He did a good job (though he was not thrilled to keep trotting after he’d announced he was tired). I messed up videoing it, but got a few Live Photos of it, and two of our horse friends witnessed it, so we have proof. Give Apache two Gold Stars!

I love this picture even if the light is bad.

I know it wasn’t his personal goal to canter under saddle without bucking or doing weird things with his legs, but he seems to know he pleased us.

I’m just gonna bask in my personal joy for a little while, and pat myself on the back. But also, Apache and I would like to thank Tarrin for her patience and skill as she’s taught both of us to be less afraid and more confident. A good teacher of humans is rare. And a good teacher of both humans and equines is even more rare. We have to give Tarrin kudos for guiding us to where we are now.

Apache registers annoyance at being encouraged to stand up straight by the stick. But it worked!

I don’t need a horse show ribbon to know I’ve accomplished a goal I set for myself. This will help me keep moving forward in other areas, you know, like making it through the hourly news on NPR (still hard).

Sometimes You Just Need a Listener

Today I needed to get some things off my chest so I could move on past them and get back to my “normal” fairly balanced frame of mind. I’m very lucky that I was able to have a couple of Zoom chats and a couple of Messenger chats that set me back on an even keel.

I just needed to talk things through in a safe, nonjudgmental space. We all need friends to listen to us when we need to vent, even when we’re a little off base or even a little wrong. The listeners let you hear yourself, ask helpful questions for you to ponder, and allow you to gain a better perspective on whatever is bugging you.

By this evening, after a nice ride on a mostly calm horse (mentally thanking my supportive equestrian friends), cooking a tasty dinner for the menfolk, and zoning out knitting, I feel refreshed and able to cope with whatever challenges come my way. Woo hoo!

Most of them probably won’t see this, but I’d like to thank these friends for lifting me up between the weekend and today:

Alice
Barbara
Nancy S
Barbara
Connie
Kathie
Lynn
Phyllis
Anita
Martha
Jay
Pamela
Avery, Sara, and Tracee (for horse support)

I even got to be a bit of a listener for Pamela and Martha, too. One of the best things about good friends is that they can take turns being the helper and the helped. My high school friend group also does that for each other. It’s a good feeling all around.

When Goldie was sad, Lee cheered her up.

If someone has helped you get through a rough spot, be sure to thank them, too!

And if you get vexed, just look at some vetch and breathe. I did.

Lessons Learned, Respect Earned

Today was full of ups and downs. I’m dealing with internal drama that has nothing to do with anyone else, but it’s making me impatient and snappy. I’m not at my best.

But guess who doesn’t care about any of that, as long as I leave it all back in the house? The horses. I just read a blog post by my trainer, Tarrin, who reminded us to only bring joy to our horses, not our baggage. That’s such good advice! And I did that today, because the moment I set eyes on my little herd, my stress fell away and was replaced with warmth and happiness.

It’s a pleasure to check in with each horse and Fiona the donkey, seeing how they’re feeling after a recent escapade with locking themselves in a small pen, noticing how calm and loving Mabel has become since starting supplements for ulcers, how irritated Drew is with his hurt head from the pen episode, and how happy Apache was to get loved on and de-burred.

It was Apache’s turn to be ridden today, and we are doing an exercise about going to the edges of his boundaries. It was going fine until I headed him in his “bad” direction just as Lee sped by in Hilda the utility vehicle. He threw his head down to shake the reins out of my hands and started to take off. But, hooray, I was prepared and did the correct version of a one-rein stop and he did, indeed, stop.

I swear I could hear Apache thinking, “Dang, that trick doesn’t work anymore.” He was a fine fellow the rest of the ride, including trotting around the outside of the round pen. Much petting and praise ensued. I’d gained his respect a bit more.

That’s the power of learning lessons from those who have more experience than you do. I’m lucky to have mentors and teachers in my life like Tarrin to impart these lessons in ways I can best hear them and use them.

Thank whoever’s helped you get through your challenges and empowers you to keep going. These are people to treasure! Thanks, Tarrin.

And thanks to Carlton for being goofy in his zest for unearthing hidden tissues. Hard to be sad watching that.

What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do?

I don’t know what to do or say or think about the divided society I live in. I’ve been trying to hold it together and feeling isolated and more and more defeated. I had such bad nightmares last night that I knocked a glass of water over. What a mess. Things are a mess.

Hint about why I’m sad. I love children.

I know I’m not alone. I am grateful for a supportive network of friends. I’m grateful for people with different perspectives who are willing to talk to me. But there’s so little I can do to help make a safer society (where we don’t worry about all the things we’re concerned about from all sides). The Texas Legislature has no interest in my thoughts. I’m not a huge lobby.

I think all the people I know feel powerless, like someone else is making decisions. We just blame different factions. Everyone is frustrated. The world feels like a scary pile of poop. I can’t change that. Even venting among friends only goes so far.

I wish I could just be a bird, or a scarlet pimpernel.

So, I clean things. Poopy things. Thankfully, a vacuum cleaner for the RV arrived. I took out my frustrations on mouse turds. (And dirt; there were only a few turds.)

That helped. But I needed to clean more. So I shoveled all the horse poop out of the trailer. I hope that doesn’t make me sick. It did involve hay, after all.

I didn’t have to clean the shed. Someone had already weed-eated what the horses had missed. My tack room helps me feel better.

I wasn’t done cleaning. The tack room doesn’t have much of a mouse problem right now, but there are “fly specks” on my stuff. Or were. I cleaned all that, too. Then I got out my good old buddy the label maker!

I have some new horse supplements and will need feeding help soon, so new labels had to be made. I felt so organized and productive. And I’m control. At least I can control my dang horse stuff, and I even feel safe in my little room.

I actually do feel a little better just by making my little part of the world cleaner and happier. And I guess that’s the lesson I needed to remind myself of. I can do what I can do. I can clean things (no wonder I like grooming the horses).

These guys helped by picking up hoof trimmings.

And now I can think about ways to help others. I’ve send some funds to recent tornado victims. I can contribute to organizations I agree with, and I CAN contact elected officials and remind them they’re human and are supposed to serve humans, not institutions. I guess.

Things I’m Grateful for Today.

To be truthful, the number one thing I’m grateful for is my tack room. It smells pretty good in here for a room full of horse feed.

It’s clean, mouse free, and cheerful. And not stinky.

Number 2: Happy horses. Apache is calm again today, Drew has been running around with Dusty, and Mabel has let me rub all over her.

Nice smelly thing, with view of Dusty putting his leg in his food tub.

Number Three: Good health news about dear friends. I was so relieved to learn a former neighbor is recovering from a bad stroke, and my friend Jeff got his eye worked on again.

Number 3.5: the goldfish enjoying their evening snack (food that falls off horse lips after they eat)

Number Four: Returning birds. I was greeted by the sweet sound of a red-winged blackbird this morning. Plus, the barn swallows are swooping and chattering outside my office. I love that sound.

Number Five: I got to see some local friends when I went to get a prescription filled. I was off really early because I’d started work at 6 am today. You can edit a lot of job aids in that silence.

I’m Not Grateful for…

Why was I working so early? Because I was awakened by the familiar horror of skunk breath. Yep, Goldie got another one. Once more I had to remove pitiful remnants of an animal who was where it shouldn’t have been. Once more Lee and I were trying to deodorize a giant dog. Ugh. But the rest of my day has been fine.

Happy Birthday to the Blog

Well guess what? I started this blog four years ago today.

I’ll skip the stats. I’ve posted lots. Many people get them by email or read on Facebook. Thanks to all of you! I sure enjoy your comments, however you deliver them. I don’t expect anyone to read my ramblings, so it’s so gratifying to know I’m not alone.

It’s nice not to be floating on an island all alone.

That’s it. Just thanks. It can be very lonely out here where I’m even weirder than I was where I used to live. I’ve missed friends so much during the pandemic, plus I’ve lost so many family members to I don’t know what…

Thanks.