When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
I’ll write about my day and viewing the eclipse tomorrow. For now…
I first felt like a grown-up was when I found out my first son was on the way and his dad and I had to put together a wedding in a few weeks, buy a house, and plan for parenting.
I was 32.
Yes, I know that’s a damselfly.
Who are your favorite artists?
I love art. It’s hard to say who my favorite artist is, because I like different things from different eras, in different media…all delightful to me.
So I’ll be selfish and say my mom. Her water colors looked like they were from another world. Or my stepmother, Florence. Yes, my dad married two artists.
I had a book report to write, but it’s been a long. But good day. Apache was a champ at his lesson, and Drew has a sore leg again, but we helped him. It was fun!
I’ve had such a great week or so with the horses. Mabel has turned into my biggest fan. Today I called her when she was at the far corner of the back pasture, went in the tack room for a moment, and when I returned, there she was, in her pen looking at me like she was saying, “You rang?”
And Dusty had me really worried for a while. He started to get real thin.
He’s looking better and seems to appreciate his increased rations.
With all the turmoil in the world right now, it’s nice to have both art and animals to keep us grounded.
What is your favorite hobby or pastime?
Oh my. If you’ve known me for the past few years, you’ll probably have a good idea what my favorite hobby is. Or you’re saying, “Wait a minute, how can Suna choose between knitting/crocheting and horses?”
You’re right. I can’t choose between my two favorite activities, which I’ve consistently loved since early childhood. I think I liked horses the moment I popped out of the womb, and I was knitting in kindergarten. I’m not one to stray from things I love, which does lead to “clutter,” I guess.
But I’ve given up on caring if people judge me for my collections!
Note that reading and hanging out in nature are not listed among my favorite hobbies. That’s because they are necessities, not hobbies.
What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind?
I was going to be flip and answer this one with “golf.” I thought it was boring and elitist when I was young, and getting my head cracked open by a golf club in bad ole 8th grade didn’t help (when I mentioned this earlier I forgot to add that as I stumbled my way alone and bleeding to the school nurse, I rubbed blood all over the exterior of Plantation Middle School, to express my disgust with my situation. They never did golf again in middle school PE. However, I’ve come to enjoy watching golf on television and have fun at Top Golf.
My more serious answer is that I’ve changed my mind about Christianity. I have gradually come to realize that I am not fond of institutional religion in general, not just Christianity. Also, I realized that what upsets me most about certain Christian sects is how bizarrely they’ve distorted the message of peace, kindness, and caring that the historical Christ preached into a war-mongering, cruel, and disdainful way of enforcing power over the masses in favor of a privileged few.
It turns out that there are Christians with whom I agree very much and whose ideas I’m happy to incorporate into my life, along with wise people from other traditions. So, I am still quite unimpressed with many versions of Christianity, but I’m very comfortable with the teachings of Christ (not Paul’s version).
Enough of that. Huzzah! Today was the day! Pleasant weather arrived! I even had to wear a sweatshirt getting Drew ready to go to a horse clinic. I just basked all day and couldn’t make myself stay inside even after I got home. I wandered around taking pictures for the pollinator BioBlitz that’s going on.
The nice weather made the clinic lots of fun, even though Drew was not on his best behavior much of the time, because he was very distracted by a beautiful mare (I don’t know what makes a mare beautiful to a hormonal gelding, but she is very pretty.
Eventually he settled down, but not after I had to trot him in a circle so many times I was getting dizzy. He was distracted. Once we switched to obstacles, he did better. We jumped! And we went around a corner backwards. There were challenges due to my lack of skill, but I got through the day.
It was funny that all three horses in my group were gray. Drew’s the tiny one that doesn’t cost tens of thousands of dollars. But he is just fine.
Hanging out with the horse gang again was just great. I’m glad summer is over so we can have fun and learn more. There’s lots to learn!
Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.
I have a healthy amount of Imposter Syndrome going on, stemming mainly from feeling so horribly untalented at what I went to grad school for, even though I loved it. But mostly I’ve been able to blend in, make conversation, or at least get by in whatever situation I get thrown in.
I admit I felt uncomfortable during the years we were studying real estate renovations and investment, especially when we got labeled as “big investors” and getting invited to special receptions and events (like a sky box at a football game—I couldn’t do rich people small talk so I sat in the seats and watched the game. I’m good at football watching. I grew up working class or barely middle class, so I missed out on rich people issues and topics. They talked a lot about taxes when just a year or two before mine were easily done by Turbo Tax.
But the time I felt most out of place was the 1971-72 school year, when I was removed from a junior high school where I fit in, had my advanced classes, and was popular among the smart hippie kids. I was placed in a new town, which was a kinda snobby suburb. That was ok. But the school was an “open classroom.” Three grades, 6-8, were all in a giant room with lockers delineating learning areas. Black kids were bussed in from miles away and not thrilled about it. All abilities were in the same classroom, which was supposed to be just fine for learners and teachers, because we were supposed to teach ourselves, each at our own pace.
It was hell. Science class was good, because we all learned at the same time, mainly how to hurt each other with lab equipment. Much of the year, the white kids would have nothing to do with a hippie kid. The black girls were more friendly. Eventually I had friends.
But this whole system was chaos. By halfway through the year I’d finished English and social studies, so three of us would go to the open air library and crawl under a table to read plays to each other. Shakespeare was quite naughty, we thought. Probably it’s banned today.
But I couldn’t teach myself algebra, even with a friend trying with me. She was brilliant. But we needed a teacher, and Mr. Schecter had no interest in teaching, just grading papers. So my friend and I crocheted purses. Hmm. I did a lot of extra-curricular stuff.
Anyway, that was the year I fainted in volleyball and took a golf club to my head. Only chorus was fun. Made lifelong friends there!
I was a square peg in that giant round hole of a school building. I lost a year of math, too. I had to do Algebra I again, so I was behind many of my friends.
I’m sure I drove my parents up a wall, as we used to say, that year. I felt like a complete misfit, but these memories reminded me there was plenty of fun. Change was just hard for an adolescent with severe anxiety. I didn’t even know what anxiety was. I was just “too sensitive.”
I’m glad I have my circle of human and animal friends to support me now!
Your life without a computer: what does it look like?
Now, y’all may be surprised by my answer to this question, given that I have made my career in online activities and teaching folks about software. I made websites when there were no images in them, after all (1993).
First, I’d still be outside a very often, hiking, playing with horses and dogs, and observing plants, birds and other wildlife.
Second, I’d still be knitting, crocheting, doing needlepoint and all that. I’d just have books to learn from and go to the library a lot, just like I did in the blissful 70s and 80s.
I think I’d do many of the same things in person that I now do online. I’m a writer, so nothing will stop me from writing. I used to be a great typist, too. I typed a book on Catalan using three different IBM Selectric type balls, which you young folks have never even heard of, probably. I also have excellent handwriting in cursive, that ancient indecipherable script.
I could also still teach adults. I guess I’d teach at a community college or vocational school. From books. Books are good.
I’d create communities, too, just like I used to do with email groups and chat software, but (gasp) in person. I do that now, anyway, or try to. I love being with like-minded people to learn and support each other. Who needs Zoom?
But mostly I’d wander around listening to birds and watching butterflies, just like Snow White or whoever it was that had all the forest creatures flocking around her in a cartoon. Ah, it was Sleeping Beauty.
I think I’d be very happy. I was certainly happy outdoors among nature today. It rained 1.5” overnight, so all the living beings were happy. I even recorded two new birds on the Merlin app, a gray catbird and house wren (both birds I’ve seen before but never recorded). And it was only up to 84° today!
The only sad part was finding a beautiful leopard frog that had gotten caught in the shredder last night when all the front field got all smooth and pretty. But that means there are probably more of these beauties!
Yes, autumn is actually here. It’s even going to be chilly this weekend! Enjoy my nature photos from my pleasant nature walk today.
What skill would you like to learn?
I’m so tired that I don’t have much in me tonight. I had a earache all last night, for no reason I can discern. I’m not someone who gets ear infections and there’s no water in my ears. Anyway, short blog today.
I thought about skills I’d like to learn, like painting, machine sewing, spinning yarn, or playing piano. They are all artsy skills.
The skill I NEED to learn, though, is hitching a horse trailer to a vehicle and safely conveying said horses to their destination. Oh, and parking competently. I think what’s stopping me is that I could probably drive fine, but I’m not strong enough to change tires or deal with mechanical issues, so I like having a companion.
Lee points out that two hours of horse lessons usually wipe me out mentally and physically, which is why he doesn’t mind taking me to Tarrin’s. After getting the horses and their equipment ready, the ride over lets me recover enough to do the lesson, and the ride back home gets me cooled off enough to unpack and feed everyone without keeling over.
I’m more athletic than I once was, but now age is creeping up on me. It’s better than the alternative. My financial planner says I will have enough money to make it to 2051. That should do, though I did want to live to the age of 100, if human civilization makes it to 2058.
I’m rambling.
In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?
I’m not going to answer a prompt every day this month, but at the end of today, I knew the answer to this one.
Hard work that leads to growth is fulfilling to me. Work for work’s sake, well, it’s a chance to practice mindfulness at best. I can mentally go to my happy place while doing drudge work.
The work I’ve been doing the past few years with horses has been hard, really hard. It’s pushed me out of my comfort zone both mentally and physically. Horses are beautiful and smell good, but they are weird and unpredictable (even for people who know them well).
I was just chatting with a fellow student of Tarrin’s tonight, and we were commiserating about our setbacks this summer and how hard it is to regain confidence when you feel like you can’t trust your horse. We both know we will have to work hard on it, but we pointed out how many obstacles we each have overcome so far. That helps, reminders from others!
As for other kinds of hard work, like actual work and volunteer work, of course it helps if I learn and grow from it. I am fulfilled if my efforts are appreciated or help others. That’s why I like teaching people. You can see that the students have new skills or knowledge that will enrich them. Teaching knitting really exemplifies this. You give someone a lifelong hobby!
My Master Naturalist work is often hard, but wow is it fulfilling to know so much about my surroundings and it’s great to be able to help others ID plants and birds or understand more about the local ecosystem.
As for today, I took a long walk in the woods, got to enjoy Apache’s previous rider, Kayla, visit with him, and rode Drew around the pasture with only a little need for reassurance. (Backsliding was having trouble bridling after it went well for a few times in a row.)
Enjoy sites from the woods.
What’s the trait you value most about yourself?
Oh, gee. No idea how to answer this. Hmm. It’s a lot easier to think of traits I’d like to improve on.
Ok. I declare my favorite trait about myself is my curiosity. I’m curious about nature, people, ideas. That leads to knowledge, which leads to growth, which makes life a positive experience.
I’m sorta glad we had to cancel our camping trip this weekend. I’ve enjoyed working with the horses a lot since it’s no longer unbearably hot just before sunset.
I’m taking Apache back to basics, so no riding, just long walks. Yesterday we walked all the way down the road, where he couldn’t see any other horses. He was just fine. He just has trouble being ridden alone. That’s frustrating, but I’m following Tarrin’s plan and we’ll see how it works out.
Drew, on the other hand, is settling down so well. After we had a nice, calm walk at training last week, I decided maybe HE would be the horse I can ride around the property and enjoy. Sure enough, this evening we went all over the field in front of the house with no stress whatsoever. I’m going to try some other places tomorrow. I’m pleased.
List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.
Oh good, here’s a question that I don’t have to be as careful answering as yesterday’s (thanks for the positive feedback). I know the things I’d love to do if it weren’t for that pesky needing an income thing.
Knitting Teacher. I truly loved the years I spent teaching people to knit at a yarn shop. I’ve been teaching knitting and crocheting informally most of my life, but I really got a system going there toward the end. It’s so rewarding to taking someone from being sure they’re unable to learn something straight to competency. And once you can knit, you’ve always got something to do!
Nature Interpreter. This is a real job. You share with people about the nature around them, help them learn to see things they might not have noticed, and show them the unique qualities of the place where they are. You can do it as a volunteer in some parks, but Milam County lacks State Parks. Maybe the Ranchería Grande site folks are working on that’s in this county will need interpretation.
Backup Singer. I love(d) to sing. I like being in front, but it’s especially fun to do harmonies behind a singer. I miss performing. I miss the teamwork and cooperation of being in a band, vocal group, or chorus. And sometimes backup singers get to travel! I love staying in hotels, too!
Given a fourth choice I’d be a field worker in biology. I’d get to both be outside and explore nature AND write scientific papers! I actually do know how to do that.
The Hermits' Rest 