annoyance – The Hermits' Rest

Ready to Move Forward

Honestly, I’m ready for my current mood to move on. I know I need to feel my feelings but I’m tired of displacing my anger at one part of life and imposing it on other parts. I need to quit being needlessly annoyed.

I’m as irritated as a cat being bathed. Photo from Pexels.

I truly got annoyed at slow drivers on my way home from working at the Round Rock office today. I got annoyed at the dentist for taking every insurance option earth except mine. I got annoyed at people who post blatantly ignorant political crap on social media. Now, none of those things are in my sphere of influence, except I know when I pick my insurance options this year, I’ll check (just can’t fix it right now).

I looked all professional today, though.

And I’ll still annoyingly jittery and forgetful. I dropped things repeatedly at my desk and hit my head twice on overhead cabinets. Then I left my purse with my car keys in it and had to go back in before I left. I’m having a doozy of a nervous episode. I’d be happy to move forward from that, too.

I just can’t force myself to be happy. I can nudge, though. Photo from Pexels.

Even when you know perfectly well that your worries and anxiety will pass, going through them isn’t fun. I even researched places to flee to this evening. That shows how pessimistic I am about the near future. It doesn’t help that the recent hurricane showed how easily a cashless economy breaks down. I never have cash.

Rambling. Did you want a Goldie update instead? She still felt bad through the morning, but then got to feeling better. Her back leg had gotten hurt by standing up awkwardly, but resting helped.

When I got home she was watching the guys try to fix the front door, and when she got up to go inside, she was wagging her tail and looking bright eyed again. We were all relieved. It was good to have a bright spot in the day (of course, chickens and horses lifted my spirits).

Let’s see what shining highlights appear tomorrow.

People Bother Me So Let’s Talk about Weird Stuff

What bothers you and why?

Right now, people bother me. Sometimes the isolation out here in a sparsely populated rural area gets to me, and sometimes I’m glad I’m not around fellow humans too much. I’m so iffy on this! Humans both fascinate and repulse me. I find individuals fascinating and groups (political parties, religious denominations, single-focus nonprofits) frightening the more I get to know them. That bothers me.

What else bothers me? Inexplicable behaviors of non-human living beings, like today’s puzzling behavior involving bees and birds.

[Some of this I also posted elsewhere, but I’ve changed it a bit.]

First, bees. For the past week or two I’d been noticing a lot of honeybees around my legs. It seemed like the earth was buzzing. Upon closer examination, I saw dozens of bees crawling on the tiny blossoms of the grass (I think it’s Dallis grass) that is blooming now. The bees were all very busy, zipping from flower to flower (not leisurely sipping as they usually do), and they were loaded with pollen.

This went on for a few days. Yesterday, there was no buzzing as I walked along the field in my daily bird-watching patrol. Then, late in the afternoon I was over by the trees listening to a Yellow-billed Cuckoo when I heard something that sounded like one of those annoying drones people fly these days. I looked up and didn’t see a drone. I saw a large mass of tiny things moving along at a rapid clip. It was hundreds and hundreds of bees swarming. I guess they were moving on to better pastures. I’m not sure where their hive was before, because I hadn’t heard one in a couple of years. I hope they find a nice new dead tree!

Did you know bees swarm in giant balls o’ bees? No, they do not. This FAKE image is what WordPress AI gave me when I asked for a swarm of flying bees. Sophisticated it is not.

Moving along, I’ve also been dealing with birds overhead, specifically the beautiful but omnipresent Barn Swallows. Now, normally they hang out on our porches, building mud nests, raising babies and pooping. They also eat numerous insects, so they get to stay (also it’s ILLEGAL to mess with a nest of wild birds; you can ask Mike Mitchell about it if you don’t believe me). We coexist just fine, looking into or out of the windows at each other, and enjoying the swimming pool area.

However, lately, the little darlings have not been at all happy with me. They aren’t nesting anymore, just flying around the ponds and in the air catching food. They are always there, and for some reason they resent my presence. When I go for my morning or afternoon walks, I often hear a very loud CHIRP, with a Doppler effect as the chirper moves away. The swallows ambush me from behind, for the most part, but occasionally they fly right at me and veer off just before they make contact with my head.

They are fast little guys.

I have absolutely no clue as to why they are dive-bombing me. I’ve had Mockingbirds and Red-winged Blackbirds do this when they are nesting nearby. But, hey, do they think I want to home in on their mosquitos?

Bwa-ha-ha. This is AI’s best attempt at “giant mosquito.” One big eye and antennae on the side of its head. Well, that was a fun experiment.

All the other animals and plants are absolutely not bothering me. I enjoyed seeking out small flashes of peace and beauty around the property today. This stuff is literally saving me, y’all. If things go to hell in a hand basket, at least I’ll be able to enjoy wherever we end up!

But things will be fine. Humans, bothersome as they are, seem quite resilient.

Old and Frustrated

How are you feeling right now?

For September I’ve decided to do an experiment. I’m going to answer the daily prompt that WordPress keeps asking me to respond to, and see how it fits in with what I want to talk about.

Something is blooming on September 1, at least.

So, how AM I feeling today?

Mostly I’m feeling very old. This has been a hard few weeks among my circles. Today another wonderful friend and role model, Norma, died after a valiant struggle to recover from infections. She was a wise breastfeeding advocate, a wonderful writer, and a font (fount?) of humor, especially Jewish.

Yesterday there was another loss close to our family. It reminds me of all the things that you leave behind for others to deal with. Oh please, family, pick a few things you like and auction the rest off. Just scatter my ashes around some trees. I’d like to help.

Yeah. I’m old. But I don’t feel like it. I have so much more to learn. Sigh. I hope my friends who’ve passed (as well as me) get a chance to come back and learn more. Maybe I’ll be a horse.

I still have so many cute horses to pet and tell them they’re good. (I’m doing that here, as Drew stops like a champ.)

I’m also frustrated. But that’s temporary. It was one of those days where whatever I tried to do didn’t quite work out. For example, I missed my 10am meeting, thinking it was at 11. Then I showed up a half hour early to lunch with Anita. At least lunch at the coffee shop was great!

Soup I had for lunch, and plug for the coffee shop.

And I didn’t get upset about this (on purpose, since horses can tell you’re upset) but the darned horses opened a gate and got out TWICE today! It’s no trouble to get them back in at meal time, but when I was relaxing in the pool and looked over to see Apache walking up to the chicken house, I was not amused.

Mmm. Lots of green grass over by the septic field. It’s a place I’m not supposed to take them, but they took themselves.

Note that it’s much harder to entice horses away from what they perceive as better food after they ate their rations and supplements. Still, I was very surprised to see Apache, Mabel, and Fiona come when I called. Dusty came close, so I haltered him and got him in.

I found Droodles hiding between the tack room and Kathleen’s RV, where the grass is quite nice, because it’s shady. He indicated that he’d like to stay, but accepted a cookie and a halter, so I succeeded in not losing my cool (once, a little — I’m human).

I put a bungee cord around the gate they keep opening. I’ll be interested to see how it holds up overnight.

I’m sure the horses are just as annoyed with me as I am with them, because I didn’t give them a bale of hay today. That’s because as I was moving their saddles back to the tack room from the horse trailer, my wagon blew a tire. I can’t carry hay. I’ll empty the wheelbarrow and use it in the morning. I’d love to use the utility vehicle, but it’s bed is full. Woe is me, ranch lady problems. But, hey, I can now open the shipping container doors to get hay out and have figured a way to get to more bales, so I’m a semi-competent ranch lady.

The Chicken Family Annoys Me

Of course I am glad that Star managed to hatch two chicks. And I am proud that we made a fairly safe place for them to live and that their real feathers are starting to come in. But, wow, they seem hell-bent on making things difficult for themselves.

The big culprit is Star. She has consistently overturned every food dish I put in the nursery. So, baby food and adult food are just scattered all over the place. I guess they have no trouble finding food.

But, that’s not all. The chicks were having trouble getting to the first water dish I gave them, so I put in a saucer. The Black Chick and the Brown Chick (no real names until they get older, I decided) get all excited whenever I add water. That’s because the moment I pour in nice, fresh water, Star jumps in it and begins scratching in it, getting it dirty and spilling it. I’m sure she has her reasons, but that is really annoying.

The chicks have their own little things. The cardboard border is down, thanks to Star, so of course the chicks try to get out. The good news is that chicken wire is too small even for 4-day-old chicks. They also like to get between the cardboard and the wire. At least they can get back out. I did try to fasten the cardboard with some metal, but that didn’t work. I will find some duct tape and use that next. I’m gonna outsmart those fowl.

I’ve been trying to get by on stuff I already had here, but it looks like I am going to have to go to the feed store and try to get one of those little chicken waterers and HANG it, so they can’t turn it over. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with food. The thing I am using is obviously too easy to overturn. I guess I’ll get one of the plastic chick feeders, too. They all got thrown out when the garage was cleaned out last month, and I have no one to blame but myself for that. I think I did it.

I’m sure I’ll get all this chicken stuff figured out, and maybe when the rest of the family comes back again, I can get more ideas or help. In the meantime, I get to figure out what to do with the chickens so I can clean the cage. Hmm.