Oh my. If you’ve known me for the past few years, you’ll probably have a good idea what my favorite hobby is. Or you’re saying, “Wait a minute, how can Suna choose between knitting/crocheting and horses?”
A crocheted horse, maybe?
You’re right. I can’t choose between my two favorite activities, which I’ve consistently loved since early childhood. I think I liked horses the moment I popped out of the womb, and I was knitting in kindergarten. I’m not one to stray from things I love, which does lead to “clutter,” I guess.
Current temperature blanket progress. This is September. Still hot. The next row will be better!
But I’ve given up on caring if people judge me for my collections!
Note that reading and hanging out in nature are not listed among my favorite hobbies. That’s because they are necessities, not hobbies.
What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind?
I was going to be flip and answer this one with “golf.” I thought it was boring and elitist when I was young, and getting my head cracked open by a golf club in bad ole 8th grade didn’t help (when I mentioned this earlier I forgot to add that as I stumbled my way alone and bleeding to the school nurse, I rubbed blood all over the exterior of Plantation Middle School, to express my disgust with my situation. They never did golf again in middle school PE. However, I’ve come to enjoy watching golf on television and have fun at Top Golf.
No golf photos, but here’s a painted lady.
My more serious answer is that I’ve changed my mind about Christianity. I have gradually come to realize that I am not fond of institutional religion in general, not just Christianity. Also, I realized that what upsets me most about certain Christian sects is how bizarrely they’ve distorted the message of peace, kindness, and caring that the historical Christ preached into a war-mongering, cruel, and disdainful way of enforcing power over the masses in favor of a privileged few.
Snow on the prairie looking elegant.
It turns out that there are Christians with whom I agree very much and whose ideas I’m happy to incorporate into my life, along with wise people from other traditions. So, I am still quite unimpressed with many versions of Christianity, but I’m very comfortable with the teachings of Christ (not Paul’s version).
A bee I’d never seen before. ID not confirmed.
Enough of that. Huzzah! Today was the day! Pleasant weather arrived! I even had to wear a sweatshirt getting Drew ready to go to a horse clinic. I just basked all day and couldn’t make myself stay inside even after I got home. I wandered around taking pictures for the pollinator BioBlitz that’s going on.
Texas nightshade (Solanum triquetrum) is a pretty plant that only grows in one spot on our property.
The nice weather made the clinic lots of fun, even though Drew was not on his best behavior much of the time, because he was very distracted by a beautiful mare (I don’t know what makes a mare beautiful to a hormonal gelding, but she is very pretty.
I love her. What a butt!
Eventually he settled down, but not after I had to trot him in a circle so many times I was getting dizzy. He was distracted. Once we switched to obstacles, he did better. We jumped! And we went around a corner backwards. There were challenges due to my lack of skill, but I got through the day.
I’ve got my eye on her.
It was funny that all three horses in my group were gray. Drew’s the tiny one that doesn’t cost tens of thousands of dollars. But he is just fine.
Brilliantly, we separated Drew from Luna for the photo.
Hanging out with the horse gang again was just great. I’m glad summer is over so we can have fun and learn more. There’s lots to learn!
Sara got this picture of Drew not grasping the concept of sharing space with Aragorn.
I have a healthy amount of Imposter Syndrome going on, stemming mainly from feeling so horribly untalented at what I went to grad school for, even though I loved it. But mostly I’ve been able to blend in, make conversation, or at least get by in whatever situation I get thrown in.
It’s because I meditate.
I admit I felt uncomfortable during the years we were studying real estate renovations and investment, especially when we got labeled as “big investors” and getting invited to special receptions and events (like a sky box at a football game—I couldn’t do rich people small talk so I sat in the seats and watched the game. I’m good at football watching. I grew up working class or barely middle class, so I missed out on rich people issues and topics. They talked a lot about taxes when just a year or two before mine were easily done by Turbo Tax.
Now, though, I understand horse expenses.
But the time I felt most out of place was the 1971-72 school year, when I was removed from a junior high school where I fit in, had my advanced classes, and was popular among the smart hippie kids. I was placed in a new town, which was a kinda snobby suburb. That was ok. But the school was an “open classroom.” Three grades, 6-8, were all in a giant room with lockers delineating learning areas. Black kids were bussed in from miles away and not thrilled about it. All abilities were in the same classroom, which was supposed to be just fine for learners and teachers, because we were supposed to teach ourselves, each at our own pace.
It was hell. Science class was good, because we all learned at the same time, mainly how to hurt each other with lab equipment. Much of the year, the white kids would have nothing to do with a hippie kid. The black girls were more friendly. Eventually I had friends.
But this whole system was chaos. By halfway through the year I’d finished English and social studies, so three of us would go to the open air library and crawl under a table to read plays to each other. Shakespeare was quite naughty, we thought. Probably it’s banned today.
But I couldn’t teach myself algebra, even with a friend trying with me. She was brilliant. But we needed a teacher, and Mr. Schecter had no interest in teaching, just grading papers. So my friend and I crocheted purses. Hmm. I did a lot of extra-curricular stuff.
Anyway, that was the year I fainted in volleyball and took a golf club to my head. Only chorus was fun. Made lifelong friends there!
I was a square peg in that giant round hole of a school building. I lost a year of math, too. I had to do Algebra I again, so I was behind many of my friends.
I had no deep pool to hide in.
I’m sure I drove my parents up a wall, as we used to say, that year. I felt like a complete misfit, but these memories reminded me there was plenty of fun. Change was just hard for an adolescent with severe anxiety. I didn’t even know what anxiety was. I was just “too sensitive.”
I’m glad I have my circle of human and animal friends to support me now!
I’m so tired that I don’t have much in me tonight. I had a earache all last night, for no reason I can discern. I’m not someone who gets ear infections and there’s no water in my ears. Anyway, short blog today.
Also, no exciting photos. I was trying to get good pictures of my horses. I didn’t really.
I thought about skills I’d like to learn, like painting, machine sewing, spinning yarn, or playing piano. They are all artsy skills.
The skill I NEED to learn, though, is hitching a horse trailer to a vehicle and safely conveying said horses to their destination. Oh, and parking competently. I think what’s stopping me is that I could probably drive fine, but I’m not strong enough to change tires or deal with mechanical issues, so I like having a companion.
I couldn’t get his head out of the hay.
Lee points out that two hours of horse lessons usually wipe me out mentally and physically, which is why he doesn’t mind taking me to Tarrin’s. After getting the horses and their equipment ready, the ride over lets me recover enough to do the lesson, and the ride back home gets me cooled off enough to unpack and feed everyone without keeling over.
I’m running out of hay. Not good. Need rain. Hoping for tonight.
I’m more athletic than I once was, but now age is creeping up on me. It’s better than the alternative. My financial planner says I will have enough money to make it to 2051. That should do, though I did want to live to the age of 100, if human civilization makes it to 2058.
In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?
I’m not going to answer a prompt every day this month, but at the end of today, I knew the answer to this one.
Hard work that leads to growth is fulfilling to me. Work for work’s sake, well, it’s a chance to practice mindfulness at best. I can mentally go to my happy place while doing drudge work.
Happy place (Hermits’ Rest woods)
The work I’ve been doing the past few years with horses has been hard, really hard. It’s pushed me out of my comfort zone both mentally and physically. Horses are beautiful and smell good, but they are weird and unpredictable (even for people who know them well).
You never know what we’ll do next.
I was just chatting with a fellow student of Tarrin’s tonight, and we were commiserating about our setbacks this summer and how hard it is to regain confidence when you feel like you can’t trust your horse. We both know we will have to work hard on it, but we pointed out how many obstacles we each have overcome so far. That helps, reminders from others!
Woodpeckers work hard in this tree.
As for other kinds of hard work, like actual work and volunteer work, of course it helps if I learn and grow from it. I am fulfilled if my efforts are appreciated or help others. That’s why I like teaching people. You can see that the students have new skills or knowledge that will enrich them. Teaching knitting really exemplifies this. You give someone a lifelong hobby!
Then they can make giant year-long blankets.
My Master Naturalist work is often hard, but wow is it fulfilling to know so much about my surroundings and it’s great to be able to help others ID plants and birds or understand more about the local ecosystem.
For example, I know these rocks, which look like potatoes to me, are what’s in the soil here.
As for today, I took a long walk in the woods, got to enjoy Apache’s previous rider, Kayla, visit with him, and rode Drew around the pasture with only a little need for reassurance. (Backsliding was having trouble bridling after it went well for a few times in a row.)
Old friends and a nice new dog friend.
Enjoy sites from the woods.
True but rude to put on our bridge. Extra loud crow that dominated my bird sound recordings. Drummond’s wood sorrelGreen poinsettia Graceful balloon vineLittle ballon’sStream flowingMy little friend, silky evolvulus Pond behind our back pond. Honey mesquite pods
Oh, gee. No idea how to answer this. Hmm. It’s a lot easier to think of traits I’d like to improve on.
Ok. I declare my favorite trait about myself is my curiosity. I’m curious about nature, people, ideas. That leads to knowledge, which leads to growth, which makes life a positive experience.
Here’s a very curious-looking insect. it’s the nymph of Trichopepla semivittata, whatever that is. A scientist told me.
I’m sorta glad we had to cancel our camping trip this weekend. I’ve enjoyed working with the horses a lot since it’s no longer unbearably hot just before sunset.
Blue dasher dragonfly that got trapped in the tack room.
I’m taking Apache back to basics, so no riding, just long walks. Yesterday we walked all the way down the road, where he couldn’t see any other horses. He was just fine. He just has trouble being ridden alone. That’s frustrating, but I’m following Tarrin’s plan and we’ll see how it works out.
I’m a nervous horsie.
Drew, on the other hand, is settling down so well. After we had a nice, calm walk at training last week, I decided maybe HE would be the horse I can ride around the property and enjoy. Sure enough, this evening we went all over the field in front of the house with no stress whatsoever. I’m going to try some other places tomorrow. I’m pleased.
List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.
Oh good, here’s a question that I don’t have to be as careful answering as yesterday’s (thanks for the positive feedback). I know the things I’d love to do if it weren’t for that pesky needing an income thing.
Knitting Teacher. I truly loved the years I spent teaching people to knit at a yarn shop. I’ve been teaching knitting and crocheting informally most of my life, but I really got a system going there toward the end. It’s so rewarding to taking someone from being sure they’re unable to learn something straight to competency. And once you can knit, you’ve always got something to do!
Here’s a good starter project.
Nature Interpreter. This is a real job. You share with people about the nature around them, help them learn to see things they might not have noticed, and show them the unique qualities of the place where they are. You can do it as a volunteer in some parks, but Milam County lacks State Parks. Maybe the Ranchería Grande site folks are working on that’s in this county will need interpretation.
I could show folks that they aren’t just walking through a field of weeds, but that the asters are alive with tiny fuzzy bee flies.
Backup Singer. I love(d) to sing. I like being in front, but it’s especially fun to do harmonies behind a singer. I miss performing. I miss the teamwork and cooperation of being in a band, vocal group, or chorus. And sometimes backup singers get to travel! I love staying in hotels, too!
This is the group my friend Sharon is in, the Studebakers. They take turns singing lead and harmonies.
Given a fourth choice I’d be a field worker in biology. I’d get to both be outside and explore nature AND write scientific papers! I actually do know how to do that.
What aspects of your cultural heritage are you most proud of or interested in?
As a Euro-American white person, I’ve been learning a lot about the negative aspects of my ancestors. There’s a lot to tell, and I’m pleased that it’s not being swept under the rug anymore. But there are things to treasure, things to puzzle over, and things to horrify you no matter where your ancestors originated. That’s because people are talented, complex, and often cruel. Everywhere and throughout history.
So, today I’ve been thinking of my ancestry and what parts I’m proud of.
Oh look, Harvest Moon. slightly bigger than last night.
Most of my ancestors on my paternal line came from England. The Kendall family is very old, but I’m most proud of how the first father and son to come over in the 1600s took their indentured servitude and used it to do very well once they were free. That’s the Early American Dream. Then they fought on the winning side of the War of Independence and headed south. Then they lost the next big war and ended up sharecroppers living right along with former enslaved people. I also like that those folks came here to be able to feed themselves, not to foist weird religious beliefs on others.
I wonder if any of them were fascinated by tiny hover flies?
Now, on my grandmother’s side there were some French Huguenots. They were among the many religious fanatics to come to the US to escape persecution and promote their cause. The other bunch on that side were Scots-Irish. Yep. Getting away from religious stuff. Well, that and famines. They all ended up nice, Appalachians, some who did well and some who didn’t. Typical American white immigrant story.
Maybe some were herbalists and inspired my love for wildflowers.
I do love the folk tales, wisdom, and pre-Christian spiritual traditions of Great Britain and Ireland. They tie me to a much more distant past. And yes, I realize those people could be cruel as well as kind, just like the Romans and all that.
I was fascinated by the sun on flowers this morning.
I’ve written a lot about my mom’s ancestors being brought to Florida from Menorca to be slaves on sugar cane or rice plantations. It’s a fascinating little tale, and I’m really proud of the Canova folks for escaping and hanging out with the Native Americans until they could come back and become prosperous business owners in St. Augustine. Those were some strong Mediterranean people.
Strong as a tie vine!
My maternal grandfather was Swedish. I like that his ancestors stayed together in the same villages for many generations. I’ve never experienced a community with such deep roots. Still, the Andersons finally headed out in the very early 1900s, again because they were hungry. Most of them went to Minnesota, but my grandfather was an adventurous guy. He left there to work on the Panama Canal as a surveyor and ended up in Florida, where I’m sure he seemed quite exotic on his fancy white horse. (Maybe he’s where my horse-loving genes came from.)
A horse and donkey I love.
I guess I’m proud that my ancestors took big risks and got through hardship. No doubt we’re all descendants of the people who survived the risks and danger long enough to reproduce, huh?
Back then, they didn’t even have bad county roads to travel on.
And when you look at what they went through, the persecution, the ignorance, the huge changes, you can get some perspective to use on today’s challenges. Humans have never had it easy, and never has there been a time or culture without suffering and joy. I’m sure you already knew that.
I just like the swoopy lines in this one. Those are starlings, also European immigrants.
In summary, I don’t think my heritage is better or worse than anyone else’s. I’d like to think I’ve learned from some of their mistakes, and can benefit from some of their contributions to the world.
Now let us ponder the shoe on a fence post. It’s always there if someone needs it!
I’m not a millennial or whatever age group feels the need to associate with a brand or become a brand. It’s just not something I think about. Ever.
I guess, tongue in cheek, I could say I associate myself to Color Street (see, I linked to it). It’s the stuff I use for my silly little fingernails that make me happy. Since I’m constantly being asked how I do the looks, I do tend to evangelize. And I’m probably helping Rebecca the consultant actually make money in an MLM scheme (or as proponents call it, a home business, ha ha).
Ooh, aah. Nails.
Yeah, there are less expensive options that feel a bit rubbery, but I enjoy the fun of buying these and sharing ideas and manicures with others. It’s fairly harmless and supports a US business. I represent Color Street (unofficially) because it’s fun.
That’s what they look like in the package.
The only other “brand” I associate with is the Texas Master Naturalist program. I’m proud to have a TMN license plate and wear my shirts around. It’s a privilege to share what I’ve learned with others, too. This organization does so much for our state parks and research.
It’s fun to be in nature with friends.
I’m just not fond of branding myself and am not inclined to become an influencer and promote things. That seems so fake and vain. Besides, I’m old, which Facebook must not know with all their labeling me as a rising creator. I think creator means person who shares a lot of stuff.
Hey, it’s my brand!
In other news, I was working with Apache and walked him way over by the woods. While he was noshing away on some healthy grass, I spotted a raccoon in the stream!
See its ear?See its tail?Woods fun with a weird horse.
Yeah, today I wouldn’t have blogged. But I committed to answering the prompt for all of September. Only three more days!
It was nice enough outside to do a Zoom meeting by the pool.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
Gee, y’all, I’ve received a lot of good advice. I’ve been lucky to surround myself with wise women (and some treasured wise men), so good advice has flowed my way. Plus I read Brené Brown, so I’ve read a lot of good advice too.
But I’m supposed to share the best advice I ever received. I’ll share the on that came to my mind first.
Don’t let other people be your mirror.
My therapist, Victoria, used to say that when I would get all upset and believe what some of the more negative people in my life said about me. I’d keep seeing myself like my ex looked at me, people at jobs, etc. This advice helped me learn to value my own assessment of myself. I think back to it whenever I dive deep into self pity or negative self talk.
Maybe it will help you.
Horse Stories
I’ve been trying to not write about my horses, but sometimes I just want to share. And it IS my blog!
First. Today I was taking a walk to the mailbox (it’s my reward for editing three job aids). I looked over and saw good old Dusty grazing peacefully between me and the pond. I vaguely recognized the other horses were on the other side of the pond, next to the road.
Suddenly there came a thundering sound and, followed by splashing and branches snapping. Drew appeared from under the willow trees, running at full speed. He had run along the muddy shore of the pond and emerges with nostrils flaring and tail tossing. He galloped straight to poor Dusty, chomped him on the shoulder, them proceeded to buck, kick, and fling himself around like he was electrified.
Once he stopped, he nipped Dusty again then zoomed back to the other side of the pond, poked the other two horses, fell to his knees and rolled.
I wonder what was going on?
Second. Apache has been feeling better, and did fine on two fairly short rides since our last lesson. But today he was not happy when I tried to do a bit more work now that the weather broke slightly. He did the absolutely frightening thing where he shakes his head violently to get the reins out of my hands, puts his head down, kicks, and takes off. I am very proud that I have not fallen off.
Actually, I’m getting way better at getting the reins back, trying to relax, and getting him to stop, some of the time. Otherwise he heads toward the tack room like his life depends on it.
I figured it would not be a good idea to give him the idea that the ride will be over if he does this, so I let him sit and rest a while at the tack room, then got him to walk fairly calmly to the round pen where his halter was. He thinks that is also a place to stop, so he went along with it.
But I am proud of myself that I got him to make some figure eights, and sidepass (fairly well). When I got off, I decided to let him know the work doesn’t always end when his halter is back on. We went on a nice walk around the area, dearth with a scary dumpster very well, then had some nice together time where I let him graze on some long grass that’s way better for him than the new grass in his pasture.
Apache in grass heaven.
I hope I did well, He was sure calmer by the time I took off his saddle. I just sometimes think I’m not cut out for this horse stuff. I’m STILL not a very good horse leader, apparently.
The Hermits' Rest 