It hasn’t been a good day for me, mentally. I’ve been meaning all day to look up why anxiety attacks cause intense chest pain.
I need to chill like a mini donkey on a brisk, sunny morning.
Okay, I finally did. That answers one of my burning questions, ha ha.
Anxiety attacks or panic attacks can cause chest pain that mimics a heart attack. It is caused by the release of the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline during moments of acute anxiety or panic. The pain may come from contractions in the chest wall, muscle strain due to hyperventilation, or the sudden spike in blood pressure and heart rate.
It definitely feels like hormones. So, if you’ve ever had those weird symptoms, now you know.
Must chill, like Mabel.
Of course it will pass. It’s just how I’m wired, unfortunately. And I was doing my best to focus on the good stuff.
Clouds. They are good.
Poor Apache seemed to be having an anxiety attack this morning before our lesson. I was pleased that he eventually settled down and I stayed patient with him. That’s hard when you’re keyed up for non-horse related reasons!
I’m edgy.
Drew and I didn’t do all that well in our long-awaited lesson, but it’s not surprising, since we’re both learning each other. I didn’t help by being shaky, but you deal with the horse and person you get every time you ride.
Today you got a horse who wanted to stay home and chill.
Like I read in a sweeping novel of the fictionalized Old South, “Tomorrow is another day.”
No matter what, sandhill cranes make me feel better.
Damn! Work was a challenge today and there’s other stressful stuff lurking. But I feel, as I like to say, “way mo’ better” now.
My favorite bee fly, Poecilanthrax lucifer, even held still for me!
I knew I was in no shape to ride but knew I’d feel much better if I could hang out with the equines, so I headed outside, where it’s been a beautiful day. I got stopped in my tracks, though, when I got to the little field of asters between the chicken house and the tack room. It was practically moving, so many insects were enjoying the flowers! I felt like I was in some Disney movie where the protagonist has all these things flitting around them.
Those are just the ones that held still! I breathed deeply and enjoyed the moment before heading toward the horses. Soon stress melted away as Fiona stuck her head under my hand.
So fuzzy.
Then she made me laugh. She tugged my shirt when I tried to pet Apache.
Pay attention to ME!
I did eventually get to play with the other horses, who were BUR FREE! Apache was a little sweaty, since his winter hair has come in and it was warm outside. But he felt good to lean on and hug.
Looking good!
He also made me laugh. As I was trying to get a photo of his glorious tail flowing in the wind, he created more wind for me, the smelly kind.
I fart in your general direction!
Mabel wasn’t funny, but she was sweet and friendly. She’s a whole new mare. I feel like her name should be Mabel Grace now, looking at how she moves around the pens and glides across the pasture.
Swishy!
All these guys enjoying their late afternoon made me smile.
Fiona is still saucy.
Dusty still seems a bit subdued, but enjoyed his hugs, love, and massages.
No burs, though!
He needs a buddy and misses Drew, I think. Apache is not nice to him, but Mabel hangs out whim lots. Thank goodness! Drew will be home in just over two weeks, not that I’m counting.
Little man and big girl.
It was great to hang out and relax with my buddies. I’ll be ready for another round of challenges tomorrow.
I have felt this before. When my son first played rock and roll in public. When the other son said he was going to be a high school teacher. When a friend tap danced in her first recital — in her 60s. I know about feeling like your chest will burst open from happiness.
It’s like getting a ribbon for doing hard work (my son hung these for me today)
Today my chest is bursting with pride at the three horses and one donkey at our little ranch. They gave me a good surprise.
Who, us?
They were all way overdue for trims, since our regular farrier has been out of commission for a while. So a different one came today. I wondered how they would do, though I wasn’t very worried about Apache or Dusty. They’ve both gotten good. And Fiona is usually fine.
Well. They were better than fine! Apache nearly fell asleep, and I know the mere 15 minutes I rode him hadn’t been taxing. Dusty was so calm he didn’t seem alive at some points.
Aww, shucks.
But Mabel. She’d not been trimmed in a long time because everyone was worried about how she would behave. I was concerned about her feet.
Shiny lady.
Mabel. She was such a polite girl! The farrier said she kept trying too hard to help. And she let me pick out all her burs while he trimmed. I’m so proud of that horse! See what good care and kindness can do?
I do this all the time. No problem.
She even has “good feet for a thoroughbred,” I was told. Wow. I’m so happy for her! She has to feel so much better! I can’t wait until she gets her bodywork!
Look at me! I’m bur free!
I’m so pleased. And Fiona, what about her? I thought she’d wandered off but no, when it was her turn, there she was standing in front of the tack room, ready for her much-needed trim. I thought that she was in bad shape, but no, she just had a little overgrowth. The farrier said he’d had to take a mini chainsaw to two donkeys earlier today. Poor dears.
Maybe one day I can ride all the horses through here!
Drew missed all the fun! I’m just so happy tonight.
We don’t get to do much trail riding lately, but this morning, Sara and I both had time to do it.
These guys wanted to come, too.
I was really happy with how well Apache and I did. First, I mounted from the fence after getting out of our pasture walking. The cows made it a little challenging by their curiosity. They kept bopping Apache on the butt until I showed them away.
Look how far I am from home and I’m fine!
Sara is always challenging herself, and today was no exception. She ponied Sully along with Aragorn. They both did pretty darn well. Aragorn is just doing great these days.
Here they come!
We rode over to the bottom pasture and when we got to the gate, I realized that one of the clever twin calves had snuck into the wrong pasture and was NOT happy where she was. So, Sara gave me Sully, and went with Aragorn to escort the calf home. They were on foot, crashing through trees, but they did it! And Apache stood like a rock while Sully kept poking him (gently; she’s sweet).
We smoked a lot.
After that we just had fun going across mud, up and down hills, over logs, and beside the newly dug tanks. At one point both Apache and Aragorn indicated that they would prefer to be heading to the gate. But we got them to meander back.
Apache even kindly stopped so I could get a picture of this hickory tree I didn’t realize we had.
I did great when Apache tried his sideways stuff. Ha! And once we headed back, he didn’t speed up after I told him not to. We calmly walked back, then, in a fit (feat?) of skill, we managed to open the inner gate then the gate out of the pasture! I had to come back to shut it after dismounting, but that was progress!
This is my selfie on Apache hoping the young cows stay where they are!
We ended the ride happy and calm. He was in no hurry to go in his pen, and seemed pleased to walk to his halter and listen to me telling him he’s good.
There! We are doing everything we want to do and are learning more skills. It’s a lot of fun to ride with friends, so it will be great to be able to have folks join us once Drew is back.
I’m really over cockleburs. My fingers are about to give up from extraction of these sticky things from horse tails and manes. I know someone else who’s sick of burs.
Like my ‘fro?
I got over a dozen burs out of Apache’s mane and almost as many from his tail. It’s easier getting them out of tails. I think they are out of good grass, so they’re in the weeds.
Looking fine.
Once the horses were eating I went after Dusty. I still can’t get to Mabel, but I will get her tied down tomorrow and work on it. At least I got a good sunset ride on Apache in between.
Another Topic
We are working on furnishing the vacation rental. That’s been both fun and challenging. The sofa did NOT want to go in.
Almost in
But we now have a king bed in the main room, a trundle bunk in the other, plus the sofa bed. I’m hoping for visitors as well as paying guests!
Main bedroomSecond bedroom LivingDining
We still need much of the kitchen stuff, linens, a wardrobe for the small bedroom, more pictures and some curtains. We’re close!
We have a farm animal theme.
More later, but we should start accepting guests in a couple of weeks. I’m sure grateful to the guys from Denio’s Furniture and our team of helpers for putting stuff together and moving stuff for us!
Friday, when Apache and I came back from our lesson, a brown blur appeared. A horse was galloping full speed towards us, then stopped on a dime at the gate. What energy! Who was that?
Not me. Nope.
No, not Fiona. Last July, Kathleen rescued a large, dark bay horse, who we named Mabel. She was in such sad shape, she melted our hearts. She was skin and bones, and had open wounds on her legs.
You could see her spine and her hip bones stuck out sharply.
Kathleen spent a lot of time getting her veterinarian treatment, dealt with severe choke, and tried to get weight on her. It was slow going. she also had ulcers.
Legs all fixed up. She was all leg, hips, and bones.
I admit that I thought she was pretty ugly. Her head seemed huge for her, even though she was tall. She looked mean and upset. Well, she probably was. She had to feel horrible, which would make anyone irritable. I’m sure her back hurt a lot. It looked awful.
It’s hard to see, but her back looked like a roller coaster.
When Kathleen left in November, I took over feeding her horses. I just kept giving Mabel more food, but the winter was hard on her. At least she had shelter. By spring, I decided to try to get her more healthy myself, since Kathleen’s health stuff meant she couldn’t.
Also. One of the other horses but her tail completely off. She was the bottom of the pecking order.
I’ve been giving her the coconut stuff Drew gets to put on weight, and I’ve given her amino acid oil. She’s been steadily putting on weight since spring and gotten noticeably friendlier.
Trixie trying to work on her.
We have fewer horses here now, and they’ve been getting supplemental hay, so her life has been more peaceful. She’s grown fond of Apache, so he’s now her protector. Her coat grew in shiny and bright this summer. And her demeanor is 100% better now that she’s had her teeth taken care of.
Her face is now pleasant. All the pain wrinkles are gone!
Her tail has grown at least a foot, and it’s so thick and shiny! Her feet look better, which may explain why she’s running now. She gets them trimmed by a pro soon and will be on a regular schedule.
She’s shiny and of normal weight! And look at that face!
I look at these recent photos and get all teary. She’s happy, except when I try to take burs out. She may never be rideable much, but I’m trying to slowly help her build up her muscles.
Big and cute.
She will soon start getting bodywork, too. The last time we tried, she wasn’t ready and it hurt and scared her. Maybe now she’s ready! At least she’s got friends, people who care for her, and good nutrition. I’m so glad I could step in and help out!
Mabel is good now.
We’re looking forward to doing more with her. Kathleen is getting better and so is Mabel. These things take time. I’m happy for them both!
I always thought I’d get my goals achieved when I was young, vital, small, and cute. Nope. I learned a lot then, though, and it prepared me to be very grateful when, with help from others, I do achieve goals in this older, creakier, larger, and plainer phase.
Two happy hard working goal achievers
Apache and I have been trying to become good partners and have fun together for many years. I realized we couldn’t get there without help, so as you probably know, we’ve been working with a trainer, Tarrin Warren, whose philosophy of working with horses is compatible with mine. It’s been very hard work, but tons of fun, too.
Tarrin building up Drew’s muscles
As a teacher of adults, I appreciate someone who’s good at it. Tarrin is so patient and consistent with people, and she’s training them way more than training their horses! Thanks to her help and lots of practice, I can do this:
Ride my horse alone
Trot on my horse in a controlled way
Tell when my horse is having anxiety symptoms before he gets squirrelly
Give my horse good information about what I want him to do
Ride calmly, so my fears don’t pass on to him
And yesterday, while we were working on improving our skills, I hit a new milestone or two. First, some of the things I’m learning are becoming ingrained and I don’t have to think about them. And second, Apache and I can now go sideways. I finally got the coordination to ask him right and not feel all awkward.
Goal achieved! I feel like I can now get him to move in all the ways. I’ll need to get better, but this was a big milestone. No, I’m not doing advanced dressage, but I can safely ride and communicate with my very patient horse, who I’ve also helped get into good enough shape that he can listen.
So yes, I cried happy tears yesterday and Tarrin said if she had a certificate of achievement to give me, she would. But to hear her say she’s proud of our progress and to see a relaxed and happy Apache were enough for me. Heck, we even made it to the trailer without a meltdown (that took months— the boy hates that trailer).
Meanwhile, Drew is making great progress in his training. My little pony (he’s so small when I ride him after Apache) has been causing Tarrin no problems and progressing right along. He canters for her, and will get better at that! Mostly she is working on building his muscles up to carry a rider after his break.
Building muscles Jump!He’s using a bosal bridleTurning like a proTrotting Drew under saddle
Then I was surprised to get to ride Drew myself! I had taken off my helmet, but he was a good boy and I was fine. I’d ridden him before but not too well. This time went way better. I ended up trotting and even leg yielding on him! I’m doing way better figuring him out and he’s doing better taking my cues instead of Tarrin’s. I felt competent! Another goal achieved!
Suna and Droodles
I told Tarrin I look huge in those pictures but she reminded me he is small. That’s for sure. When I went to pat his neck to tell him he was good, it felt so skinny compared to Apache. But his mane amazed me. It was parted in the middle like a human and there was enough on each side that it looked full. What a guy.
I don’t even have to train Fiona. She volunteers to get in the trailer
I’m proud of me and my horses. They aren’t fancy and can’t trace their bloodlines to any famous steed, but they sure have good hearts and are willing partners. And I’m chugging along and making progress. I’m glad to have a training partner to guide us so well and at our pace. It takes as long as it takes!
Why not? I was all tired after helping a lot of folks at work, but when I went out to see the horses, I felt so much better that I did my scheduled ride and enjoyed the nice afternoon.
I had to replace the chairs, but these match better anyway. And one works as a mounting block!
The bulldozer is still plowing away. I think that project will be done tomorrow. He’s made it wider and is building an excellent berm that will be fun for the horses and provide a bit of sound insulation for us (you know, ALL that traffic we get!). Lee says he keeps finding springs, which doesn’t surprise me. But even in this drought to see moist areas surprises me!
Sun sets on the dirt and silt pile.
And after yesterday’s rant, I’m embracing my quirky decorating style. It helps that Kathleen has made some really pretty fall and Halloween wreaths and gave me one. Doesn’t it look great?
Seasonal cheer!
To top it all off, my additional cream yarn showed up, so I can keep going on my afghan project. in the meantime I made part of a narrow border to put on at the end. This is gonna be a project, all right.
Second border in progress.
Glad to have some calm time in life every so often.
It’s been a long day and I’m darned tired, but like I said in the title, it’s a good kind of tired, both physically and mentally. Yep, I went to a horse clinic with both horses today over at Tarrin’s ranch. That’s a lot of horse time! The good news? It was COOL this morning. That helps when you spend the day outside.
We’re with it, Suna Mom
There were many new things to learn, and all the horse and rider pairs found out what they needed to work on. That was particularly fun, because there was a range of skills and abilities. Sara brought both her horses, too, so she also had a long day.
We’re tired, too.
Apache did better than I expected, though he was in no mood to move his hindquarters, which made a backing in a serpentine formation painful. But heck, we have trouble backing in a straight line! He wasn’t particularly interested in side passing either. He got pretty pissed off but I kept whacking his side and Tarrin got all in his face.
I prefer just watching the other horses while my mane gleams.
Like many of the horses, he was not impressed with the water obstacle at first, but he ended up able to do it repeatedly. All the horses eventually did it, even Sully!
Sully working on that puddle.
After the first group went, Tarrin did some interesting education on how horse anatomy affects how they respond to bits and reins. I learned a lot. We also learned a lot about the role we play in keeping our horses balanced
We’re balanced. We walked around the cool new visiting horse pen matching steps.
Drew did a bit better than Apache on the skills, but then, he was more experienced at a couple. He did great side passing and just fine on dragging an object, but he’d practiced way more than the other horses had. I was truly impressed watching Sully figure these things out. She’s so smart and really trusts Sara.
Only look at MEEEEE
Drew was a bit dubious about the water, but didn’t take long to get the hang of it. I was proud, since I hadn’t done water stuff with him yet. He’s so good, but got rather bored waiting for the other horses and neighed a lot. But wow, he’s a shiny boy.
Look at me shine! Now hurry up and learn, y’all. Note fly in flight.
The hardest obstacle was heads and tails, which involves going around a barrel either on the forehand or back. I did not understand it when Tarrin went over it earlier in the week, but I followed the instructions and by gosh, Drew did it. And now I get it, too!
I like to think I’m a genius.
He’s not a genius! But he likes to learn, as does Apache. We got some fun new experiences and learned so much from everyone. Clinics are great. I love the camaraderie, the variety of participants and the wisdom of clinicians. Tarrin is a great one, by the way.
And Now I Get Sniffly
I came home with one less horse. Drew is staying at Tarrin’s for a few weeks to do his “finishing school.” When he’s done I should be able to work on riding him!
Drew’s back to school picture.
I’ll miss him so much. So will Apache. They’ve finally bonded and I catch them playing together with food bowls and stuff. At least they had fun together in the new pen at Tarrin’s.
Some friend fun time.
We will see Drew again soon! And he will be smarter! I hope I can ride him.
Things have been good here lately. I spend a lot of time watching cute animals.
That’s a relaxed dog.
I even rescued a trapped English sparrow today who couldn’t figure out how to get out of the henhouse. I caught her and took her out. She was so exhausted that she just sat on my hand. Poor dear. No photos, since I had five hen eggs in my other hand!
So, here’s another friend, the gate spider. Apparently a Western spotted orb weaver.
There’s just so much joy in our animals. The dogs love evenings when we’re in the pool, because they can run and play with an audience. I take them out in the mornings for a little play, too, which makes for a nice work break.
Morning fun
Things continue to be good with the horses, too. We had good lessons today. Drew showed Tarrin how hard we’ve been working and then learned new backups. And poor Apache struggled a lot with moving his butt when asked. My left leg is tired! But, those two bring me such joy. I’m so lucky to be able to learn and grow with them.
They were grazing in the round pen until Lee started to hook up the trailer. Then they got excited. Good exercise.
But there are so many animals to enjoy here. My son found this really cool snake in his cabin. He just caught it and took it outside and caulked up the hole it came in. That’s my boy.
It’s a coachwhip, it turns out.
And today, I went to water the plants and was startled when I reached to turn on the spigot. Along the house was a complete snakeskin, I’m pretty sure it was one of our rat snakes. I love it when you get the whole skin.
HeadPrettyFun with snakeskins
I guess that’s enough animal fun for a Saturday evening. Hoping all is well with you. We’re having more family illness stuff. That’s the down part of the post title.
The Hermits' Rest 