daily life – Page 99 – The Hermits' Rest

Damp and Dreary Can Be Cheery

Today started out bathed in fog, and as the sun sets it’s still drizzling. Nonetheless, it was a beautiful day. You can find beauty anywhere if you just look around! Just look at all these beautiful water droplets!

Anita stayed over last night, sleeping on my gradually softening air bed. Shoot, that was a GOOD air bed. We had the nicest discussion, just Anita, Lee, and me, as we drank our hot beverages and finished cleaning up after last night’s delicious Thanksgiving dinner. I felt so relaxed, with Carlton curled up in my lap, and the fog draped over the trees outside.

I got Anita to walk the dogs with me and pose like she is out on the misty moors. It was fun to walk through all the tiny air droplets. It wasn’t too cold, so it was good walking weather.

Thanksgiving Hello

If you’re in the USA I hope you’re reflecting on what you’re grateful for today. Right now I’m grateful that USUALLY Facebook works great out here. Today I can’t greet anyone!

I’m grateful for whoever shows up today to eat with me.

So far, it’s rainy, and some of our guests may not make it. I hope that 29-pound turkey wasn’t a mistake! But I’ll just enjoy the day!

My wish for you is that you cherish what is good in your life and learn from the challenges. I’m grateful for friends and family who’ve reached out to me already…my stepmom, my step sister, my brother, a couple of Cameron friends, the book club, and even my favorite undergrad professor. Wow. Love is everywhere.

Be safe, eat well, and hug someone who likes to be hugged.

Who’s Lee? Does He Say Anything?

Lee as the cover of a romance novel for middle-aged women.

Lee is my spouse! I’ve mentioned him before, I just know it. Oh, I can be funny.

We will have been married 11 years on Friday. He’s a hermit. But he does right a lot. You’ve perhaps seen some of his posts on our Hermit Haus Redevelopment blog or the new Hearts, Homes and Hands blog. Still, he told me he wondered why no one seems to come across his personal blog, while I get a reasonable number of hits.

I told him no one’s going to just stumble over it; they have to know it’s there. I share.

Now I will share Lee!

If you’d like to learn a little bit about him, head over to The Hermitage, a blog he’s been keeping since I met him. There he gets to control all his HTML and format all his pictures exactly how he likes it, and that makes him happy.

None of this WordPress hand-holding for him! Right now, he’s sharing what he’s grateful for, and I’m happy to be one of those things.

I’m grateful for my spousal unit, too. He’s really kind, generous, stubborn, and occasionally grumpy. Other times, he’s funny and sweet. In other words, he’s human!

One thing that makes us a fun couple is how different we are. Go see him and find out for yourself! Give him a comment or follow him on Blogger.

MUST We Always Be Correct? The Conversation Killer

This morning, Anita and I were talking about how some of our circle participate in conversations. There are some issues where a couple of the folks really like to be correct and make sure everyone knows their version of the facts. Other people are sensitive about being “corrected” in public. During these conversations, I am mostly conspicuously quiet.

Let me tell you this about that! My dad always said that.

Why am I quiet? When one of these fact-slinging fests starts up, I quickly decide for myself whether MY version of what is correct is important enough for me to interject it and possibly get into an argument or make someone feel stupid. Usually, it simply isn’t. Whether Family Member A is citing outdated statistics to prove a point or Family Member B doesn’t remember a historical fact accurately is really their problem.

What happens is that the conversation is effectively killed when someone declares, “This is the only answer. The end.” (Meanwhile, I’m over there googling.)

Fall Beauty Is Subtle but Sweet

I’ve really been enjoying the weather and the fall foliage the past week or two. It got all windy in Austin and leaves were swirling like they did back in Illinois when I lived there.

Here at the ranch the cedar elms are the ones that provide color. It’s not bright, but the trees have many shades going from orange to russet brown.

There’s one tree with yellow foliage. I’m thinking it’s a mesquite. I didn’t look too hard. It must be something else.

Who, Me? Hypochondriac? Paranoid?

What in the world would lead me to say this? Well, things have just been a bit…unbalanced this week. I’ve felt a little “off” all week, and have done some really goofy things that aren’t like me.

This is the can of delicious water that didn’t want to go in my mouth.

The biggest example is suddenly forgetting how to drink a beverage. I was sitting in my living room, watching television or reading, and I was really thirsty for that cold, fresh lemon-flavored water I’d gotten out of the refrigerator. So, while still focused on my other task, I picked it up and briskly poured it into my lap.

That certainly surprised the dog. But, really, I forgot how to put a drink to my lips? It’s like my body had a glitch. Of course, once that happened, I’ve been alert to any other motor-skills issues, so when I trip and almost fall on a tiny raised part of a sidewalk, drop what I’m carrying, etc., I think, “Oh no, I’m getting some disease.”

Vlassic took to his (my) bed to recover from my oddness.

Friendship Is HARD

Hey, kind readers, thanks for all of your feedback on yesterday’s post about friendship and jealousy. You all gave me a lot to think about, and the BEST part was finding out I’m not alone in having difficulty becoming a member of a group of friends. It’s important to think about it, and I realize I do it a lot. I even wrote that “friend” is my favorite word back in May!

Pickle is one of those who like people, but chooses her intimates carefully. By the way, she went to the vet and is all healthy! 9.9 pounds of vigor.

A couple of comments made me think about WHY some of us have this issue. My son’s partner realizes she has some issues being in groups, thanks to her autism symptoms, which make forming friendships difficult for her, but make her value her real friends even more (I am happy she is MY friend!). She’s not alone. Many of us note that forming friendships is hard due to personality challenges. Some of us are shy; others aren’t great at (or fond of) the kind of bonding but non-substantive conversations that lead to deeper friendships. [Insert your own reasons here.]

A neighbor texted me wondering if people even realize I want to be their friend. I found that amusing/ironic, since this was someone I want to be friends with and have no idea if they realize it. The point was that sometimes people appear to others as if they have some kind of boundary or other presentation that makes them appear to want to keep their distance. Aha! That was an insight to me. Maybe people misinterpret my “resting hermit face” for not wanting to socialize. And maybe I misinterpret others, too!

Soupy Day

I’m mulling over some thoughts right now, but am in an uncharacteristically frazzled state. It’s been that way all day!

I need to just sit here and not move, even to put away the stray Halloween decoration.

Every errand and small work task I did got wonky. At least I retrieved my remotes I’d left in my rental car before vacation. But I set the GPS to go to the wrong Enterprise office.

I tried to save time and money and make some special gifts for Christmas, but it turned out the woman at the store had not put them together. And didn’t know how. After ruining two presents, I brought all the parts home. Now I’m not saving much time. But they will be done right.

What to Do When You’re Triggered?

Earlier in the week, a series of events unfolded in a group, the details of which are irrelevant. The outcome is where I’m focusing today. As people interacted, the scene became more and more like ones I went through very frequently when the organization I was working for was undergoing a crisis. And it was hard on the participants.

Even good teams have trouble putting everything together correctly sometimes. Photo: *@Nodar77 via Twenty20*

I needed to provide input, redirect the conversation, or in some way diffuse the situation, but I could not. I mentally froze up, as I retreated into a way of feeling and acting from over a decade ago. I didn’t get memory flashbacks, but my emotions went into overdrive and I could FEEL the atmosphere at my old job when volunteers I directed and others at the organization were engaged in unpleasant and unproductive exchanges.

I was triggered, I guess. My current set of coping mechanisms helped me, at least a little. I didn’t burst into tears or run out of the room, like I might have over a decade ago. Instead, I played a word game on my phone, since all my life I’ve coped with being overwhelmed by doing something with my hands (hence all that knitting and playing of Bejeweled). I find that when a good chunk of my brain is busy on a soothing task, I can make better use of the rest of the ole noggin.

Recipe: Suna’s Cornbread Oyster Dressing

A friend asked me if I had found an oyster dressing recipe when I was in South Carolina last week. No, but I make it every year at Thanksgiving! So, here, in my general and not-for-real-cookbook fashion, is how I make the dressing every year. Back to introspection soon.

At right are two large pans of dressing. One omits oysters, for the squeamish. ZZZZZ.

This is actually my mother’s recipe with a few little tweaks by me.

Ingredients

1 stick of butter, or more
1 large onion, diced or cut into small pieces
1 cup or more of sliced celery
1 9-inch cornbread, made however you like, though best to omit sugar
2 cups bread stuffing; I use the seasoned kind
Additional herbs that you like: rosemary, sage, tarragon, poultry seasoning, etc.
Options: 1 cup of nuts (I like pecans) or diced tart apple.
2 eggs, whisked
1 pint raw oysters and juice
1 box chicken broth (you may not need it all)

Method

Melt butter in a large pan. Add onion and celery and cook, stirring, until onion is clear. Smell it. MMM. Smells like Thanksgiving.

Meanwhile, crumble cornbread into a large bowl. Add breadcrumbs (or just use two cornbreads). Add seasonings and other optional dry ingredients. Mix completely.

Add onion mixture, eggs, and oysters, plus all the “oyster water” (gives flavor). Stir gently, and add chicken broth until evenly moist, but not soppy wet. Sprinkle paprika on top to make it pretty.

Spoon dressing into a large greased (PAM) baking dish, or smaller ones, whatever you have.

Bake 45 minutes to an hour at whatever temperature your oven is on for other stuff you are baking. If all alone, do 375 degrees. Dressing is done when it browns along the edges.