daily life – Page 10 – The Hermits' Rest

Fears, I’ve Had a Few

What fears have you overcome and how?

Fearful is not how I’d ever describe myself. I feel more like my horse, Apache, who is always vigilant against the unexpected and anxious when asked to do new things. We have a lot in common, he and I, which may explain why our progress is becoming a skilled horse/rider pair has been steady, but slow.

That leads me into one of the fears I’ve been working to overcome, which is the fear of cantering on this horse. I’d probably have been cantering long ago if I had a different equine partner, but Apache is the horse I was kindly given, so he’s who I’ve worked with. And cantering was never his best skill. His tendency to do a kick/buck maneuver whenever he set off to canter when he was younger is one reason my friend Sara gave him to me. She wanted to canter (as a good rider, she knew how) but his imbalance made it scary on him. Heck, he even kicked out to start cantering without a rider for the longest time.

But years of exercise, bodywork, good medicine, and work on his feet led to much improvement. He now sets off very well and only on the wrong lead some of the time. After my trainer worked with him under saddle, he can now do a fine job, and that led me to overcome my fear of cantering on him. Plus I’m way better at staying on when he has a hiccup.

And if I fall I’m just closer to the rain lilies.

A key to overcoming that fear is a skill I’ve only managed to develop in the past few years, which is to push past my anxiety and DO the thing. Riding horses has helped a lot with developing that ability, one many folks are born with. I was born cautious, very cautious. It’s amazing I learned to ride a bicycle. On the other hand, I didn’t break any bones as a child, thanks to caution.

Even this precious dog didn’t break my bones when he pulled me down a steep hill. Precious.

You might not believe this one, but once I was quite afraid to do things by myself. I really didn’t like being alone (other than teen years of being in my bedroom listening to my records). I can remember how proud I was of myself when I walked out of my hotel in Toronto, and ate a meal by myself. It was a whole fish, prepared beautifully, and I had a good time. Working in Toronto for weeks at a time was good for me. I discovered I could ride a subway without a helpful friend, I could have a drink in a bar and enjoy talking to people, etc.

Now I think nothing about eating alone, walking around a new town by myself, or going on long walks in nature. Of course, I’ve educated myself about safety in cities and nature, and I do prefer nature. I know how to spot the plants and animals to avoid. Learning about what you fear is a great way to overcome fears.

On another note, we almost have a screened porch!

I’m glad I can now take a deep breath and just DO a thing. It’s been very helpful in surviving life on a ranch property. I don’t realize how scary my everyday life can be to others until I get an urban visitor. I just know to check for snakes in the henhouse, watch my steps for fire ants, and avoid the poison ivy and nettle patches. I’ve educated myself so I’m not afraid!

Can I Unplug?

How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?

I don’t think I’ve ever been great at unplugging, but I’ve muddled through by being very consistent with my meditation practice. That way I get at least 20 minutes of turning my racing thoughts off nearly every day. I’m glad I’m one of the people who can use meditation. I know some folks can’t.

Just relax and go to your happy place, in this case the bird sanctuary I help with.

But I’ve always been “too sensitive” and always felt a lot of empathy for people who are struggling. Combined with a drive to always occupy myself with work, volunteering, and knitting/crochet left me with little downtime and no time to unplug. Heck, I always worked on camping and condo trips. At least I worked with good scenery.

Good scenery is everywhere if you just look. Still I’m glad I live out in the middle of rural Texas.

I didn’t know how to listen to my mind and body and give them a rest when needed. I just made sure I had good anti-anxiety meds and took the right vitamins/supplements to support that busy brain and body. Not altogether healthy, huh?

My mind and body fighting each other, as depicted by Carlton and Penney.

My last trip to Hilton Head in April was the first time I ever really unplugged. I didn’t watch or read the news, I took lots of long walks, and I quit constantly writing in my head (I do that, like I’m my own narrator, which is truly annoying when I realize I’m doing it).

“I’m walking down the road heading to our house, thinking about how thick that giant cane has grown,” says Narrator Suna.

I found out I don’t keel over and the world doesn’t stop if I take a break from making contributions. I don’t always need to be mothering or mentoring. It’s all right just to BE sometimes.

Unplugging gives me time to slow down and notice like a shed grasshopper exoskeleton.

The past few months of not working for pay have helped me relax and taken a lot of pressure to succeed off me. I must confess I had a job interview Thursday and it went very well. I’m a sucker for helping an organization maximize their use of that darned software I’ve supported for so long. But I’ve learned to set firm limits, and even if I do one more consulting thing, its length will be limited.

I’m sure I’ll need to remember how to unplug when that’s over, if I do okay on the second interview. Hmm, didn’t I ask you readers to talk me out of going back to work recently?

Home Improvement Again

We haven’t been able to do much fixing up around here lately, but the construction team made time for us to start an upgrade. We’re fulfilling Lee’s dream of turning an awkward space in our house into a screened porch.

The little “outdoor room” on the other side of the family room has its own fireplace, and seemed like it would be a great place to hang out. Little did we know that the prevailing winds would create a vortex that sent every piece of debris into the narrow space. And when you have an Alfred, that means piles and piles of dog hair. Add in grass clippings, bird poop from the many Barn Swallow nests, and dust…well it was always awful except about a week after its quarterly cleaning.

My hope is that by screening in the room, we will get breezes but not so much hair. And the birds will have plenty of other nesting spots (they have the entire front and back porches to duel with House Sparrows over).

After emptying the game equipment and power washing the space, the guys got it all framed in today. They did something special with where the wood meets the concrete to prevent rot, but I’m not sure what.

It’s all planned out how it’s going to blend in with the trim and siding on the rest of the house, so it will look like the porch was always there.

I hope we can get the fireplace set up for cool evenings. In any case, the mosquito barrier will be nice!

Trip Down Recent Memory Lane

Yesterday I was feeling all sentimental, as well as in need of some different sites, so I took my walk by turning left instead of right from my driveway, to look at the part of the ranch we sold and the part that was my friend Sara’s ranch (visit her new projects on the Wild Type Ranch website).

I enjoyed seeing all the late-spring wildflowers on the roadside and marveled at how fast river cane (Arundo donax) grows back after mowing.

I checked out the abandoned farm next to the Shuffield/Tyson place, which keeps falling down more and more, but that’s just fine, because now it’s host to many birds, and judging from the scat, either a bobcat or feral domestic cats.

Eventually I turned and walked down the road connecting our two ranches and leading by my son’s cabin residence. Wow. There were some beautiful vistas of black-eyed Susans in the fancy pasture.

I got all nostalgic looking at where Aragorn and Spice used to live. There’s a great view looking down from there.

By the way, Spice must miss her old pasture, because she made a break for it when the gate was briefly opened. Luckily some beautiful oats distracted her, making it easy to take her back. She can’t help being so obedient. She’s well trained.

Next I enjoyed the huge tree next to the old chicken coop where I tried to care for all the chickens no one wanted anymore. Maybe my son can fix it up and use it.

I’ve spent a lot of time under that tree, and now my kid can.

The final stretch is where I admired the vistas looking west. There were always beautiful sunsets there, and you can see a long way, which you can’t from my house, due to the woods.

What I saw next gave me a laugh, the tank/pond where I went on my first ride on Apache outside of the round pen.

He followed Spice and Sara up to the berm that makes the pond, straight at a mesquite tree. Rather than get mauled, I bailed.

That was my first unplanned dismount from that boy. Memories.

Back at our pasture, I hung out with the chickens and horses and once again expressed gratitude that I have an opportunity to explore this area in Central Texas. It’s not much, but at least for now, some of it is still ours.

Apache and Suna Get Presents

While I was wandering through ghost towns yesterday, things were hopping on the home front. My horse and I were the beneficiaries of it all.

First, Lee was kind enough to mow the area where our round pen got moved. I was a bit afraid of snakes in the long grass. He then mowed some nice paths through the field, even nicer than his last ones.

That’s not all! Work has begun on a new horse playground for me, Apache, and any other horse I can get practice on obstacles for shows, entertain ourselves, and have fun. The first item is a little hill, like the one at Tarrin’s. It’s more of a berm.

The darned backhoe decided it was time to have yet another new problem (hey, it’s older than my kids), so it didn’t get done. But Apache and I tried it out and loved it. We will get so much use out of this tool.

The backhoe has plenty of stinky dirt to move.

Apache and I also tried out a turn in a box and corridor obstacle. I’ve made copies of the obstacle instructions from the Working Horse Central book, so I may be getting more obstacles as well. Riding will be so much more fun.

One path we walked on, framed by flowers.

Later in the day Apache and I rode out to the paths and pen to test them out. We both liked the mowed round pen, and he did pretty well in there. We even walked along much of the paths.

But, the end of the ride was not ideal. I guess Lee had run over some rodents while mowing that were starting to smell good. A Turkey Vulture decided to check it out, which was not at all fun for an already nervous horse.

Bonus: he didn’t flee into the poison ivy patch.

A great deal of crow-hopping and jumpiness ensued, but I didn’t panic. I did allow him to briskly head to more familiar ground, but I eventually helped him calm down enough to walk over some poles and pay attention to me. That was a win as far as I’m concerned. He even let me wash off all his nervous sweat.

He deserved a piece of weird ice cream cake. It’s made with ice cream and self rising flour. We humans ate it for him.

Poor Apache. That was a lot of new stuff for one day!

A Visit to the Local Ghost Town

It’s been a long time since I wrote about the Walker’s Creek community, which is nominally where we live (or Silver City, another town that’s gone). On today’s weekend walk, I decided to investigate what’s left of the community.

Definitely a scenic walk, including the yellow Gaillardia.

Last week I went to the cemetery, so I’ll just show you the entrance. There are older cemeteries in the area, but here’s where all those Hightower and Laywell ancestors are. I mostly enjoy the ancient oaks and birds.

As I’ve mentioned, the cemetery is still in use.

I climbed up the hill to get to the historical area, stopping to enjoy some gorgeous Pitcher’s Leatherflowers. I declare them to be my favorite wildflowers (sorry milkvine).

I found many birds, including lots of raptors. There was even a Bald Eagle, which usually don’t stray so far from the Alcoa lake. I was happy a Swainson’s Hawk flew over, too.

This is my only bird photo. It’s exciting though, because it’s a Painted Bunting NOT hiding in a tree. How do I know that? It was vigorously singing the Painted Bunting song.

I decided to see if there were any fascinating plants at the site of the old Walker’s Creek Church. I think that was also the school site?

I saw the remains of many of the oaks originally planted by early English-speaking settlers. The trees have not handled recent drought years, plus they’re old.

I found a dragonfly, some wildflowers, and the usual trees for around here, cedar elms and hackberry trees. The most unique feature was all the Inca Doves that seem to only live on the top of this hill. They don’t come past the creek to my house. Here’s a sample of what I saw. I’ll spare you yet another dead armadillo.

Female common whitetail *Plathemis lydia*

That wasn’t too exciting, but I enjoyed thinking about the people who settled on this hill so long ago. I’m glad we still have some friendly folks in the community, even short-timers like us and “the dog lady” (Vicki, who raises amazing Shetland sheep dogs).

Alfred says he’d be a sheep dog if we’d get him some sheep. Until then, he’ll just chew his “cigar.”

I’ll have more excitement for you in the morning.

This is the purple box. Everyone notices it. Says it’s an insect trap. Ok.

Fruit! Fruit! Just Five?

List your top 5 favorite fruits.

Society is collapsing and they want to know my five favorite fruits? Well, okay. Let’s see if I can find anything interesting to say about that. Here we go.

This AI fruit salad has none of my top five.

One: Pineapple. The pineapple is the most glorious and delicious fruit-ish food there is.* If I didn’t love squash so much, it would be my favorite food (note, squash are fruits, botanically). I know it has weird allergic properties for some people and messes up Jello, but pineapple makes anything better, including rum.

Two: Mango. This is another flavor that just knocks me out. It’s hard to get mango off the seed, but worth it. if you ever get a chance to eat a mango fresh from the tree, do it. There are sweeter and more complex varieties that do t ship well. It’s one of the treats I miss from living in South Florida (the other is fresh key limes). Mango margaritas, with or without tequila are divine beverages.

The next three are pretty much tied.

Three: Peaches. Make that ripe, juicy, non-mealy peaches. Mealy peaches are a huge disappointment. The best peaches I ever had were in Breckenridge, Colorado last year during the local harvest. Simply perfect. Here in Texas, the Fredericksburg peaches are also wonderful, though small. Just eat lots of them. I love peach cobbler.

Four: Pears. As with peaches, down with mealiness! Really I only like some types of pears, I find the crisp and astringent ones not pleasant. But a big ole juicy pear that is both sweet and tart makes me very happy. I’m also fond of canned pears with cheddar cheese.

Five: Plums. a perfectly ripe plum is glorious. I like all the kinds, from extra sweet to spicy, but not unripe or overripe. I give those to the chickens. I also like pluots, or whatever the hybrids are called. Plums are good cooked with pork.

I just thought this was pretty. From Pexels.

Four out of my top five fruits start with the letter “p.” Hmm.

Runners Up

While I’m here, I may as well give my opinions on other fruits or sweet and juicy foods.

Apricots. I doglike them as much as peaches. The skin texture isn’t my favorite. Apricot jam is fine!
Bananas. I like the ones in the stores fine, and do love banana pudding. But, like mangoes, they are so much better straight from the tree. My dad used to grow pinkish ones with a peachy flavor.
Berries. I like berry flavors, but not all those little seeds. Blackberries are my favorite, but I eat more free dewberries out of the fence lines.
Cherries. Well, these are probably number 6 out of the top five. I can sure eat a good cherry. I like the Ranier ones best, but there are many good ones. The extra dark, extra sweet ones are better in an Old Fashioned. Yum.
Citrus. I can’t have too much of it because of the acid reflux, but I like citrus, especially limes. I also love lemons and grapefruit. Some oranges are good and some taste like plastic wrap to me. The same goes for tangerines and related citrus. Some are great, some are awful, and you can’t tell until you open them up.
Grapes. Some green grapes are too sour and bitter for me, but there are many grapes I’d swoon over, like the ones I had in Hilton Head. Wow. I find seeded grapes too much of a pain to eat many of, but I like to cook wild grapes and make sauces and such. They’re tangy, but the skin is sweet. Grapes are also excellent made into wine.
Melons. Watermelon has to be very cold and sweet for me to enjoy, unless the rind is made into preserves. Muskmelons like cantaloupe and honeydew are nice in fruit salad. I enjoy them when served, but rarely buy them for myself.
Strawberries. I put these separate. I do not like the seeds and hairy things on the outside. But well ripened ones make amazing shortcake.

I’m sure I missed something, but look at me! I wrote so many words about fruit. It did distract me from the news for a while!

Ooh. I forgot kiwi fruit. It’s okay. Pexels again.

*Let us not get all persnickety about what constitutes a fruit, a drupe, or a vegetable. I’m going with what we colloquially call fruits in the USA.

Oops! Left out pomegranate (delicious except the seeds) and papaya (smells awful). Kathleen thought of more P fruit.

Farewell to the Migrants

Get your mind off politics, I’m talking about avian migrants! For a few days my bird species counts here at the Hermits’ Rest were incredibly high, much higher than I’d ever seen before. One day I observed (with Merlin Bird ID, sight, or my own ears) 74 species, as I mentioned earlier I think. I’d rarely hit 50 before.

It was the migrating warblers and friends who added so much to my totals. It seemed like there were many more kinds of warblers this year, along with vireos I hadn’t seen, nuthatches, and the seagulls I wrote about last time. I know there were a lot of birds coming through here on the central migration corridor, because there were news articles about them showing up on radar. That’s impressive, isn’t it? You can even see the migration live on the excellent BirdCast website. What fun!

The moon has been full for the past few days, and I think that may have been a big incentive for the warblers to head to more pleasant climes. Or maybe they knew that the temperature forecast for this week was grim – we’re in for our first near-100-degree days of the year this week, after a very pleasant spring so far.

This is the Weather Underground forecast for the next ten days. I miss last week already.

I was really enjoying the bird variety since I got back from Hilton Head. Here’s a list of all the warblers and vireos I’ve identified here in Texas in the past week:

American Redstart
Bay-breasted Warber
Chestnut-sided Warbler
Common Yellowthroat
Hooded Warbler
Pine Warbler
Tennessee Warbler
Red-eyed Vireo
Warbling Vireo (both warbles and is a vireo!)
White-eyed Vireo
Wilson’s Warbler
Yellow Warbler (lots)
Yellow-rumped Warbler

I saw many more warblers in South Carolina, but this is a lot! Even without warblers, though, there are still a lot of birds here now. A Green Heron family is living in the tree in our back pond/tank, there are buntings and grosbeaks popping in and out (Painted Buntings are omnipresent, and I even saw a pair mating yesterday).

I was too entertained to reach for my phone, so enjoy my new portulaca.

I wonder if the heat will affect my observations. I know the heat affected me yesterday. I was trying to work with Apache and my legs turned all wobbly and I had to hose myself off and drink a lot of water to keep going. He’s probably thinking he’ll get out of all the riding and exercise we’ve been doing, but no such luck. I’ll stick it out!

By the way, I’m moving a lot of my content that’s philosophical or personal musings over to my Substack site, so feel free to go over there and read or subscribe. You’ll get the posts via email if you subscribe. I even have special content for my paid subscribers (yes, there are a few, and it really helps now that I have a tiny Social Security income).

Today’s Holiday

I set a record today. I was only glum about Mother’s Day for a half hour or so. Two things helped. First I gave myself a good lecture on how this holiday was originally (1870) meant to be a day where mothers celebrated peace, started by Julia Ward Howe. Yep. The same one who wrote the Battle Hymn of the Republic. It’s a pacifist holiday at heart. I’m a pacifist and I produced two babies, so I can celebrate!

I was cheered at the idea of so many fascist pro-patriarchy women getting flowers and cards today. I’m not sure what emotion that really was. But, yay for peace on earth, end to wars, and love for all. That probably makes me a criminal these days, but I’m sticking to my figurative guns.

The other thing that cheered me up was taking my morning walk, which once again was filled with birds and flowers. Oddly, I walked for over an hour, and the only vehicles that passed me were members of my own family. Country life.

Just me, mutant flowers, and flower scarabs.

The second vehicle contained my next-door neighbors, also known as my offspring and his partner. I pointed at them so they’d stop, just hoping to say hi, but they gave me gleeful greetings of the day and said they’d go eat with me next week. Those smiles made my day.

Mama cows approved. These are solid animals.

I walked all the way to Walker’s Creek Cemetery, where I paid my respects to the mother and grandmother of the guy across the road, and my friend’s mother, who just passed away, making it a hard holiday for my friend. My mom died in 1984. So long ago.

So I’ve had a fine day, though I’m still feeling poorly. Just tired. I think adjusting to not working is harder than I’d expected. But the weather is beautiful and I can ride horses anytime I want to.

Someone is still not thrilled with his new “round” pen, but he did his trotting practice, which included mostly walking due to him being jittery.

I hope you all found a way to make peace today or enjoyed your traditional celebration. It’s all good. Now I must go re-dye my hair ends orange. I accidentally neutralized it by using purple shampoo. Oops.

Here are some photos from my walk.

Book Report: The Serviceberry

This is a beautiful gem of a book. First, it’s beautiful to touch and hold. The cover is textured and has watercolors illustrating the cover. It’s even got lovely, thick paper and a nice font. That all counts with me, since I love physical books.

The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World, by Robin Wall Kimmerer, has at its heart a sweet story about sharing berries and the implications that simple act has for humanity and the planet.

It can beautify the world like a rainbow over an industrial complex.

Kimmerer shares stories about how “gift economies” can work, and how beneficial it can be to share what you have with others. Much draws from her experiences as a Native American, as well as other sources.

I like how it’s possible to implement the practices found in this book right here and right now, but most important is the idea that we can share not only our bounty but our practice of reciprocity and abundance. We can do it and encourage others! That’s reciprocity!

It’s a nice contrast from having your goal be to hoard wealth. I have already shared the book, and hope to pass it on again. It would be perfect for a Little Free Library!