The person behind The Hermits' Rest blog and many others. I'm a certified Texas Master Naturalist and love the nature of Milam County. I manage technical writers in Austin, help with Hearts Homes and Hands, a personal assistance service, in Cameron, and serve on three nonprofit boards. You may know me from La Leche League, knitting, iNaturalist, or Facebook. I'm interested in ALL of you!
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
This is another trick question. I’m doing my best to stop myself if I start dwelling on the past (except good memories!). And I don’t think it’s healthy to do what I call pre-worrying about what might happen if circumstances go in ways we would like to avoid. That leads people like me to worse anxiety or even ulcers.
This chain got up on the gate thanks to worrying about future dog escapes. The big dogs could climb it.
I think one of the most helpful things I’ve learned from studying Buddhism is the idea of living in the moment. The more I do this, the more content I am in my life and the more joy I can find.
A part of the past I do like to think about is when this cute kitchen was built. We want to preserve it in our renovation. Retro chic.
No one can prevent thinking about the past and future all the time. What I try to do is see what can be learned from past events, and I try to figure out what I can control or affect positively in the future. I learned that from my spouse’s study of Stoicism. It’s made a huge difference for both of us.
Daily Birds
Today was wet and chilly. In the morning there were mostly the usual birds. But it was so quiet that I could hear wing flaps from vultures flying over. Merlin identified three birds that were surprising because we aren’t in their range: Swainson’s thrush, Black-capped chickadee, and Western wood pewee. Maybe the storms brought them over. Or maybe there was a software glitch. The chickadees look really similar but have different calls, so you’d think that would be right. It’s a mystery.
I turned the app on in the late afternoon to see if there were any different birds, and sure enough, there were two ducks, the common mallard and blue-winged teal. I’m hearing lots more ducks and geese this year!
The gift I want most in the world would be to repair my relationship with my older son and come to some kind of mutual acceptance of each other, just as we are. Understanding of perceived mistakes or failings on each of our parts is something we could do. I’d be willing to try. Anyone willing to help bring us back together would receive my eternal gratitude.
Foggy morning leads to melancholic musings
Well, that’s not something I foresee happening after five years. So I’ll add that the greatest gifts I do receive are friendship and acceptance. I think we all would like to feel accepted and like we fit in. I treasure my community of kind and open hearted friends who accept each other, warts and all.
Foggy bovine
Online friends count, too. So many of us would feel very isolated if it weren’t for our friends who are connected on social media, on video chats, and in blogs. Social media is NOT all bad.
Daily Bird
Well, there weren’t many birds out today, because it was so foggy and cold.
Chilly birds.
The highlight today was the reappearance of one of my favorites, the barred owl. I’ve read that barred owls and great horned owls don’t like to live together, so I was happy to hear one this morning. Hooray!
Well, that’s a question with a lot of assumptions behind it. Who says all bloggers go to college? I’d have preferred something like, “Where did you get your education?” (From where?) I realize there are people would give flippant answers, like “the school of hard knocks,” but you’d also get interesting insights into folks with non-traditional paths.
Mother Nature is also a great teacher.
I was VERY traditional. After four years of attending a large high school in suburban Ft Lauderdale, Florida (unfortunately named Plantation High School), I spent four years at a large state university. The years at the University of Florida had a lot of good parts. I learned a lot, screwed up my personal life irreparably, and thoroughly enjoyed living in my home town again. My studies focused on linguistics, Japanese, and cinema studies (my boyfriend’s major). I’m extremely grateful to the National Merit Scholarship system, which allowed me to attend college even though my family was not well off and my mother had many medical bills.
See the bright spot under the sun? That’s the bit of flooding we got last night. It was a good rain.
I then went to the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign for graduate school. Fun fact: both the schools I attended have orange and blue as their school colors. At least gators add green to the mix. UI are the Fighting Illini, which I was shocked to discover pronounced the last two vowels like “eye,” not “ee.”
There I studied pragmatics, syntax, and semantics. I learned to write well and to teach adults. I loved teaching. Academic writing, not so much. My topic got really boring, which is why I’m not a professor right now.
My favorite thing on campus was the beautiful statue of Alma Mater welcoming students and graduates, by Lorado Taft. It was always a happy sight.
Image in Public Domain
If you’re still awake, I can give you my highlights of the day. First, I finished my giant three-part 2023 temperature blanket.
Part 3, on a chair.
The last square is a handy key to the colors. I included the white, silver and purple that would have indicated 0° to 25° even though it never got that cold. Maybe this year! Or not! I could do without the Polar Vortex they keep threatening us with.
Far left is 105-109, far right is 0-4.
I’ll write up an official summary once I figure out how to get a photo of the whole thing.
Daily Birds
Second, two birds made me happy today. One was the first bird Merlin heard, a yellow-bellied sapsucker. I think I’ve now recorded all the woodpeckers that live here.
When I lived in Illinois, we had a sweet gum tree in our back yard. Every year one of these little guys would come and drill a new row of holes in that tree. It was so much fun to watch it working away, and the holes were a wonderful remembrance.
The other bird that brought joy today has already been the Daily Bird, but I was excited to actually see the great horned owl today. Yes, that blob in the photograph was hooting.
I also enjoyed my sparrow buddies a lot. The Harris’s sparrows were singing and playing this afternoon. I hadn’t heard them in a few days. They fed in the trees next to me for a while, so I got good views, though obscured by branches. Here are some photos of them, the other sparrows, and cardinals in the brush and trees. Yes, it’s a brown world right now, but I like brown.
Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?
I’ll answer this: yes, often. We all should play.
I hang out with birds and plants every day, just for fun, and nominally for research. I’m not doing it for seeing the mist or the rarest birds. I just want to understand what lives where I do.
Loggerhead shrike looking at me.
I mess around with horses. It’s because I love them. They are fun to play with even when things don’t quite work out. Like today, when it rained throughout my lesson, and Drew was not feeling good for some reason. But it worked out and we learned that he pays attention to me! I’m not in it to be the best, but to enjoy improving my skills and keeping my horses happy and healthy.
The storm clouds heading my way.
I craft, mostly knitting and crocheting. It used to be serious for me. I wanted to be known for my skill. Now I make things to enjoy or to experiment. I don’t care if anyone copies my patterns, if I’m making the trendy thing in the trendy yarn, or if I churn out 20 sweaters a year. I just have fun playing with yarn.
Next-to-last square on the 2023 temperature blanket. This one is the highest high and lowest low.
I hike! I walk! I hang out with friends! I blog! I play! It’s all for fun.
Because it’s fun.
I hope you’re having fun in this, the only life you’re going to have this time around.
The WordPress folks have a new set of prompts for this month, so I’ll try to answer them, for fun. The first one was about challenges. Oh what fun. I don’t have all night to spend on this topic!
Neither do I
What’s not a challenge is making New Year’s dinner. My black-eyed peas, collard greens, and cornbread came out delicious, for the four of us who could make it. We made plates to take to Lee’s brother and Anita, who came down with the flu, and have plenty of leftovers. Success!
On to the challenges
So, my main challenge these days is a lack of self confidence, I think. I always think I can’t do new things, so I put them off or avoid things. Learning horsemanship has helped me a lot with this. I’m making myself try new things and I’m often succeeding or making a good try. I think this new bravery is manifesting in other areas, which is really great.
One I’m not doing as well with these days is expressing myself without offending people I care about or causing problems. So I’ve been much quieter for the past year or so than I used to be. These days it’s probably safer to keep some kinds of opinions to yourself but I do want to advocate for myself at work and in other personal areas.
Got any funny challenges?
I’m also tired of being vertically challenged. I wish I could reach things without stools and mount a horse from the ground. There, a less serious one.
A final challenge is figuring out when or if I can retire from full time work. There are too many factors for me to figure out right now. More on that in the coming months.
That’s enough of that list.
It was cold and windy, so there weren’t many birds. However, there was a brief moment of sun that encouraged the white-throated sparrows to launch into a concert. Their song is hauntingly beautiful. It has three or four slight variations, like a fugue. What a greeting for 2024!
Sure, the past few years have had their challenges. However, there’s lots to be happy about, too. Let’s take a moment to appreciate what went well. While I’m sharing a few things, you can be thinking of yours.
I just want to start by being asap and declaring that how much better my relationship with my spouse is now. We’ve hit a really good spot. The time we’ve spent out camping and hiking has been a real highlight of the year.
We had fun
Next on my list of things that were positive has to be my growth with my horse relationships. Drew and I have been in and off, but the last couple of weeks have been so much improved. He’s such a sweet horse. Today he even let me put his bridle on without complaining. It helps that he doesn’t have a headache!
I took him to the yummy grass as a reward today.
Apache and I have had some amazing moments, too, and I’m focusing on them while his foot recovers from the abscess and he gets used to his daily medication. He still acts stoned much of the time. But our relationship is so much better than ever. That’s what counts.
He’ll be better soon!
Learning to listen to bird calls thanks to the Merlin Bird ID app has greatly added to my quality of life. I treasure my bird watching and listening time! Today was a WOW bird time. There were hooded mergansers in the bottom pond today! So glad I had my binoculars, because I’d have missed them otherwise.
I saw the ducks when trying to watch the egret catch fish. They look like blobs in the photo.
The ducks didn’t even come up as a possibility in Merlin, but they’re rather unmistakable.
Aren’t they cool?
I wrote up all the birds I saw or heard here at the ranch this month. There were 71!
That doesn’t count anything I saw in Milano or Canyon Lake!
I’ll be interested to track bird numbers each month next year.
Other good things? I’ve enjoyed my work, which is always a plus. The Red House on Fannin has been profitable as a short-term rental. I’ve only had a few issues with depression and anxiety. My physical health has been really good, too.
I’m like a tree adding strong new rings. And my hollow spots hide surprises.
I have become comfortable in my friendships and community relationships here in Cameron, too. It’s nice to have a bit of a social life with meaningful connections in person. It’s community and connection with friends and family that will help deal with the inevitable challenges in 2024.
Here’s my friend’s leg, with two dogs asking for attention. All part of the community!
There’s always something out there to be grateful for!
Once again, Goldie the Mighty Huntress has tangled with her striped nemesis, one of our local skunks.
I made the smelly part of the couch smellier
It happened last night, which we figured out when we tried to stop Penney from blocking Goldie from coming upstairs. We then praised Penney!
This morning Vlassic investigated where the skunk was. He heard something and turned tail to run. He’s experienced skunks.
At least this time she didn’t kill and try to eat it, which last time resulted in months of skunk breath and a disgusting mess for me to remove. No, this was just a light spray.
Light as a butterfly.
Of course a light spray leads to a stinky house nonetheless. My office, where she sleeps, is the worse. Good thing I don’t work until Tuesday!
Bonus painted lady.
It’s already better after I’ve used Febreeze and Lysol. No, friends, tomato juice doesn’t work. We put dog-safe stuff on Goldie, too. I forget what it is.
Caracara, hawk, and moon.
Our dinner guests tomorrow will just have to deal with it.
Everything else is fine. I did all my normal stuff, like nail polish and schooling Drew. Apache was seen trotting, but not easily. More epsom salts for him.
New Year’s nails
By the way I’ve appreciated comments after yesterday’s post. Thanks!
In bird news, I watched a great egret catch two fish and did not appreciate seeing a hawk over by the horses near my chickens. I think something was after Billie Idyll yesterday. Hope for the best.
First, center yourself by meditating on the whorling shape of this red-stemmed stork’s-bill.
Okay, now read on.
Today someone who knows very well how to get under my defenses said something that I took as a passive aggressive swipe at me, the kind that on the surface seems innocuous enough, but stings. I mentioned it to my spouse, who said maybe they didn’t mean it that way. Maybe I was looking for a swipe.
I thought about it.
Then I remembered the time my neighbor cut me off for saying something mean to another neighbor that I hadn’t intended to be mean at all. I remembered the letter that our general contractor’s wife wrote to me about a set of issues she perceived in me (I’ve blotted them out of my mind). I remember the letter my ex-boyfriend wrote to tell me to stop writing him and bragging about buying a car and a house, etc. None of those things I intended the way they were interpreted. But their biases toward me were negative, so they interpreted my actions negatively.
Looking in the mirror of how people misunderstood me because they wanted to made me realize I might be doing the same. I’d learned this lesson before and have been tryingjj to interpret the person I’ve always known to be passive aggressive to me as if their intentions were good. I just fell into a decades-old pattern. I will now reset and do my best to go back to assuming good intentions, like I’ve always strived to.
Sometimes you just need a reminder to see that you’re falling off the path you want to follow. There are a couple of people in my life I’m going to work harder not to have a negative bias toward. That’s a resolution for the coming year that I can get behind.
How about you?
On that note, I’ll plod off into the sunset on my small but magnificent steed.
One of my friends sent me a link to a Lion Brand pattern for a “mood blanket,” which they propose as an alternative to making a temperature blanket, like I’ve been making this year (in exciting news, it looks like the most frequent high and low temperature ranges are both shades of yellow – I made a spreadsheet). They have some cute suggestions, like charting your moods through pregnancy or other interesting times in your life.
Today’s mood: moody, like these clouds
My mind immediately went the other direction, for a couple of reasons. First, if you’ve ever read this blog you’d know I am moody. It’s one of my defining characteristics. Maybe I’m even proud of it? I don’t think just ten moods would fit me, and certainly not the generic ones they suggest (sick, mad, happy, neutral, loved, etc.). I need so many more. I need excited, calm, at one with nature (or a mood that corresponds to it), satisfied, depressed, confused…many more. It would be fun to think more about what my actual moods are, but they need to include anxious (there may be entire weeks of that one), grumpy, snappy, and irritated.
Maybe I’m as moody as a muddy creek reflecting clouds.
The other thing is that things aren’t exactly going in ways that make me comfortable right now. I’m afraid I might need some deep, dark colors to stand for “victim of a natural disaster” (red for fire, blue for flood/tornado),” “afraid for my life,” “despondent due to stock market/economy crash,” or “mourning because I lost another fundamental right.” If the blanket suddenly ended, well, you’d know it was either random gun violence or an insurrection.
Stop thinking about that! Look at these cute calves and their nanny.
So, I don’t think I’ll make a 2024 mood blanket. I don’t think I’m particularly looking forward to next year.
Let’s talk about birds. That’s a safer subject!
Savannah sparrows on the round pen.
Today I added to my series of bird pairs (before I saw belted kingfishers, herons, and caracaras). Today it was red-tailed hawks. I really enjoyed watching this couple fly around, sit in a tree together, shriek a lot, and finally fly off.
One hawk and a cultureThe hawk coupleFlying off you can see the tail.
They were my birds of the day, certainly, though the fox sparrow I heard and got to add to my life list on Merlin comes in a close second.
I was going to get some really good vulture photos, because they were helping take care of a dead opossum near our trailers, but as I tried to get there, Lee’s brother was throwing rocks at them and chased them away. Oh well, they were just about done getting rid of the meat on the carcass. I just didn’t want to touch it, so I was letting them help.
You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?
Not much going on out of the ordinary today so let’s answer this one. If I had my ideal setup for reading and writing, it would involve a comfy daybed with a ton of soft pillows to ensure comfort no matter what I’m doing: reading, writing, knitting, or looking at birds, plants, and animals. That’s because the daybed is in the woods! But with climate control and no way for flies, mosquitoes and mice to get in.
Mr. and Mrs. Caracara are disappointed that I’m not building my little room.
Well, it’s a fantasy.
Mrs. C leaves in a huff.
In real life, Apache still walks okay and trotted a little on the lead line. He volunteered. I made him stop. He and I had a nice time with bur removal, too. He’s a friendly fellow and so patient on his new meds. I can’t find the abscess, though.
Dusty sticks his tongue out at my inability to find an issue.
Drew got his assigned exercise today though he wasn’t thrilled. Neither horse will enjoy getting back into shape. But it will pay off.
They don’t get to loll around like Goldie.
In extra mundane news, I’ve managed to misplace next year’s journal. That was the day’s bummer. How can I write in my forest hut with no journal?
Four previous journals. Before this I used large black notebooks for about five years. They’re still packed.
Luckily they still sell them and they are inexpensive, so I ordered more. I like consistency in my record keeping, it appears. I’ll have one in time to set up my beloved bullet journal for a fourth year in a row.
The Hermits' Rest 