Sue Ann (Suna) Kendall

All Grown Up

When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Ha, I’m pretty sure I wanted to be a horse when I grew up at that age. I know I tried eating grass, and spent time practicing my whinnies. I also wanted to be a dog herder. I would gather up all the neighborhood dogs and try to get them to follow me (no leash laws back then).

We want to herd cattle. Or play with them.

After that I wanted to be a veterinarian or Supergirl. As you see, I haven’t changed much, except now I write all those ideas down.

Things are good here:

Monarchs are here, plus I saw a big zebra swallowtail.
Our niece is not too badly hurt from getting kicked by Big Bag Betty B**** (a cow who m, deservedly, leaves for the sale barn soon) even though she was life flighted by helicopter to a hospital pretty far from her farm. (She posted the story, so for once I can do more than vague hinting.)
I had a great session with Apache the Paint today, better than usual, even. He sure has energy and joy now.
Tarrin has a plan to get my gray horse Drew better, which involves some expensive veterinary stuff, but gives me hope for our future.
There was time this afternoon to watch the dogs play with cows (nice ones) and to hang out on the patio with Lee. We are much less stressed than yesterday!

My herd, minus Harvey, who doesn’t play with cattle, and Vlassic, who was in the garage.

I wish every one of you at least one beautiful spring day to spend with those you love, and I hope your childhood dreams came true, at least a little. I can’t BE a horse or herd dogs, but I can hang out with them!

Cognitive Dissonance

What’s something most people don’t understand?

That’s what most people seem to be unable to grasp. There are just too many people out there who don’t see any problem with holding beliefs or opinions that cancel each other out.

So you’re pro life. Good for you. But once a baby is born you’re against helping it. And if it wanders onto your property as an adult, you’d shoot it. And your guns are more important than innocent children in a school or people trying to attend a concert. You’re pro life and pro murder. How can you believe both?

I’ll stop before I offend the other 50% of readers.

Sorry folks, today has taken a turn for the worse and I’m in a less centered space than I’d like to be. The family health issues just keep on coming and there’s nothing we can do but observe and stay centered. Well, we can support each other, which IS something.

Life is challenging. We know that. But it’s also good. Is that cognitive dissonance?

I’m so glad I have lush pastures to wander in (with proper footwear to avoid snakes) and sweet horses to love on and breathe the scent of their grassy (mud encrusted) coats.

The equine buddies are my calmness center right now. Even Apache calmly let him remove his boots and asked for head rubs, and Mabel keeps asking for attention. It surprised me, too, how grooming Dusty and seeing him look so healthy made me happier.

Thanks, horses.

Same Work, Different Tools

How has technology changed your job?

I’m a technical writer/trainer/instructional designer as my paying job. I also do a lot of editing. This kind of profession has probably been around since there were jobs. Someone has to teach others skills needed in various professions, and someone has to record information accurately.

Someone had to pass along fence building skills on ranches, so birds could poop out seeds and create rows of trees on fence lines. These are Eve’s necklacepods (*Styphnolobium affine*)

I’m pretty sure there are technical manuals in hieroglyphics. No doubt scribes hand-wrote instructions for doing things correctly. Certainly people have shown others how to perform tasks (weaving, sewing, carpentry, brewing, and such) without need for writing. Maybe they drew pictures. Teachers have always had to be there to pass down necessary skills, whether formally or informally.

So, while I don’t work in the world’s oldest profession, skills like mine have always been needed to pass on traditional skills. Teaching may be the second oldest profession.

Technology has affected what I do like it has any form of teaching. It’s provided new tools to create material and given us options like videos, which any of us can now use (to either teach or confuse, judging from the videos on knitting I’ve seen).

I need a genetics teacher to explain how the white versions of flowers come up.

Of course, what I teach about is software, which wouldn’t be a subject if we didn’t have computers at our fingertips. Sometimes I wish I could teach something more tangible or timeless. Software comes and goes in a flash. No one needs my WordPerfect teaching skills today!

I figure no matter what new technology comes up, I’ll be using it to share knowledge with others. That’s my passion.

Conversely, I’ll also keep wanting to learn. It’s why I enjoy my journey with trying to ride my horses skillfully and care for them appropriately. No matter how old I get, I want to keep moving and learning. Just look at my posture! I hardly recognize myself.

I’m glad to have a job that’s always relevant, no matter how times and technology change. I’m just as glad to have hobbies that have been around a long time but remain relevant, like equestrian skills and crafts!

End of ramble. Here’s another picture of me and Apache, this time looking medieval.

Saying Yes to No

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

Yet another item on my endless list of good things about getting older is that I finally realized that I always agreed to do things just because I was so flattered to be asked, combined with a deep desire to feel like I was a part of something. That has led me down some doozies of rabbit holes.

There’s probably more than one rabbit hole hiding in this photo.

I now realize I joined the nonprofit organization I used to work for mainly because I desperately wanted friends. I have never been passionate about the cause, though I did and still do respect it. I just never was a fanatic. So why I sacrificed my mental health and self esteem because I couldn’t say no to any of their requests is still puzzling to me.

I should have stopped and smelled the bluebonnets.

On the other hand, I did end up with lifelong friends. I have, however learned to say no to them when a request conflicts with my goal to remain safe from cultish behavior. I can help out a reasonable amount without harming myself.

I’ve also learned my friends still like me if I say no occasionally. Aha!

Recently I’ve said no in a lot of subtle ways that maybe only I notice. But wow, it feels great to go out after a long work and horse day and just relax rather than cooking or cleaning. I’m saying no to self-imposed obligations.

It’s more fun to look for verbena than count verbs in my writing.

Back to the original question, I have many interests, and to do any of them well has meant setting some aside. You can’t do it all. So I’m not starting quilting again or trying to garden. You won’t see me doing extensive meal planning , shopping, and prepping, even though I admire those who have the time. I’m not writing a book even though I could. And so on.

Why look, vervain! Who needs to garden when this stuff just shows up.

Learning your limits and narrowing down your passions to something manageable can lead to less stress. That leads to contentment and appreciation of what you can say yes to. So I say.

Don’t worry, bee happy (only that’s actually a soldier fly)

What do you think?

Speaking My Truth

What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?

I often wish I were better at expressing myself, especially in the heat of the moment, when under stress, or when surprised by an unexpected turn of events. These are the situations in which I tend to do a particularly poor job of expressing what I want to say or reacting gracefully. I also, conversely, tend to get too lax with my words when I’m feeling very relaxed or comfortable. I can then make jokes that don’t go over well or say things I intend as friendly that I later find out were interpreted as rude or condescending. Yuck.

It’s easy to be misinterpreted and also easy to misinterpret others. That’s why I attempt to assume people have good intentions when something awkward comes out of their mouths, and ask for clarification.

This Texas vervain says let’s slightly change the subject.

Speaking of misinterpretation, I may have mentioned hearing weird sounds in the woods lately. First I heard some while camping, but then I started hearing eerie sounds like a sad animal calling out.

It was a spooky day in the woods, anyway.

The sounds were happening this morning, so I bravely decided to go find the source. As I got closer, I kept seeing icky worms, tent moth caterpillars, and slimy mushrooms. The wind was also howling and it was very cloudy.

The caterpillars are jumping around in there

Eventually I got to where I could tell where the sound was coming from. And from that spot, Merlin Bird ID finally piped in and said it heard a crow. Earlier, no ID was given for the sound, which had made me think it was an animal. I looked up and saw I was under a large tree. And in that tree was a very large nest. Aha.

I was hearing crow parenting sounds! Eek! I recognized the nest, because I used to see them in Chicago between O’Hare and Schaumburg, when I worked there. There was a large green belt with a huge rookery I loved to observe.

I won’t be quite so creeped out by the sounds from now on and will leave the crows alone to raise future corvids. You just never know what’s out there.

Though today was gusty, I got to see new blossoms in addition to the creepy stuff.

Found where the baby blue eyes are hiding!

Since it was my rest day, I had time to cook a nice meal for family and friends. It was a nice end to the day.

Tomorrow, dental fun. Just a cleaning, but my insurance is messed up. My fault, too.

Fine Weather for a Horse Show

What is your favorite type of weather?

I love a sunny day where you don’t need a jacket but don’t get all sweaty. Today was such a day, as the capricious Texas spring granted us a good one. (By the way, my second favorite weather is a cool mist, which is what I woke up to today).

Even the welding stuff looks good surrounded by mist-covered grass just after sunrise.

Since Sara and I aimed to leave for the first live horse show of the year for our Working Horse Central group, I was up before dawn trying to get Apache ready. He had, of course, slept in mud last night. So he was both wet and muddy.

I managed to get him back to mostly the correct colors and got lots more hair off him. I tried to bathe him a bit, but whoever coiled my hose up last time the grass was mowed created a tangle I cannot solve. I need to fix my horse bathing situation. I’m glad Apache was a good sport about it.

As you can see, he ended up looking white on his rump, miraculously.

The beautiful weather contributed to the most pleasant horse show experience I ever had. Each and every human and horse showed great improvement, to our collective delight. It was young Maizy’s first show, and she did way better than she expected on a borrowed horse. Good for her!

Love this picture with the horse totally unfazed by the rope. Believe me, my roping didn’t look that good.

Sara and Aragorn had their best show ever. He seems to feel much better on the same medication Apache is on, plus another. He was a cantering rockstar! And every other task he was asked to do went as well as he could possibly do. Hard work pays off! It was a joy to watch them and to see Sara’s smiles.

The experienced riders were so great to watch. I learn so much from them! I’m the least experienced, even though two participants were teens. That’s why I don’t compare myself to the others and just hope to improve!

I didn’t get any photos of Kate, who went before me, because I was always in my horse waiting for my turn, but she’s such a great horsewoman and the horse she rode was just gorgeous. She showed me how the things Apache and I did were supposed to look. Ahhh…

Of course we got to visit poor Drew in Reform School. Apache seemed glad to see him and called to him whenever I returned him to his stall.

As for our performance, both Apache and I were a lot calmer than we’d been before, which meant we did some things well. There were also mental lapses by me and Apache oopses as well. The best one was when we were supposed to walk straight down a corridor, stop in front of an obstacle, then back out. Well, the obstacle was a fake Christmas tree, and Apache tried to eat it and pulled it over. I just had to laugh! Of course he did it perfectly in the Agility phase, where form didn’t count.

The fatal moment. We got 3 out of 10 for the tree pulling.

Nonetheless, our trotting was better in all phases, and I exhibited improved handling. That’s what counts, improvement! I’m doing a pretty good job of not beating myself up for not doing better. That’s an improvement, too! See, I can learn.

He and I did pretty well on the last thing, Agility, which is timed. if I hadn’t gone through the gate the wrong way, it would have been spectacular. But we ended up winning that one (out of 2 people) because I let him trot as fast as he wanted to. My Goddess, that was bumpy. My helmet kept falling down, as did my glasses. But it impressed the judge (Tarrin). And I lived, albeit with a headache.

The best part was watching everyone on this beautiful day.

I’m a bit sore from the trotting, but it was worth it. The shoes are a little of work for everyone, but well worth it. I’m grateful for everyone who helped judge, score, set up, and tear down.

Now to collapse.

Extra Springy

Today was truly a spring day. The weather kept changing from intense fog to sun to cloudy to windy…warmer, cooler, you name it.

I felt much like the weather. I was extra productive, deeply tired (thanks to Goldie and all the other dogs sleeping in my bed during storms), energetic, and zonked. In between spurts of creativity I went out and enjoyed the flowers and butterflies for a while.

I managed to brave the very muddy pens to feed the horses and groom Apache, who thankfully was not all muddy or covered in burs. I have to try to get him clean by 8 am tomorrow. Wish me luck. He didn’t help when he stomped on his halter, which meant I had to wash that, too. Sigh. It’s not like I didn’t t have things to do!

The Master Naturalists had a nice, big booth at the Spring Festival in Cameron this afternoon and evening. I was on the second shift, which enabled me to get all my chores done before heading over to the Venue.

We met a good number of folks and did some excellent recruiting. Alan (left in the photo) is great at encouragement, and we got all sorts of people interested in our work. Cindy of Bird and Bee Farm talked a lot about turkeys, and I think she convinced a guy to get some for his big ranch. That would be cool.

The best part of the evening was finally introducing Lee to a couple of my Master Naturalist friends. I hope he liked them. The other part that made it a great time was just sitting around and talking to Chapter members outside of a meeting setting. They’re such an interesting group of people and so good to each other. We marveled at how fortunate we are to have found so many compatible folks in this sparsely populated county. In these times, that’s really great.

Yes, I enjoyed all aspects of today’s extra springy events. Life is pretty good in our little town.

Rambling Kind of Gal

What do you wish you could do more every day?

Right now I’m conflicted. There are two things I’d like to do more of every day, and it’s not practical for me to do both.

Staying out of the rain is what we’d like to do more of.

One thing I’d do more of if I could is work with the horses. I’d love to have the opportunity to get more education, ride more, and learn more ground skills. I would love to have someone to trail ride with (I do have an Easter date to ride with Sara). Apache does fine when he’s with another horse.

Who knows how Drew would be, since I’ve still never tried it, since we’re moving backwards rather than forwards in training at the moment. It was pointed out to me that I forgot to say how Droodles is doing at Reform School. He is making progress but slowly. He’s not happy going right still. Maybe we can only go left from now on. He will see the bodyworker again soon. The upshot is I paid for two more weeks of rehab at Tarrin’s.

It was hard to fit this all in the frame. Glad I’m not driving it.

All right, so the second thing I wish I could do more of is travel. And as you can see, we’re finally all set to go places in style. Hermee looks pretty good behind Seneca! That’s one tiny Jeep!

I was really impressed by this fancy hitch. It collapses into practically nothing and stores in the belly of the motorhome. It attaches and detaches much more easily than I expected, too.

What freedom! I can’t wait to go somewhere and be able to explore the area! I’d love to go all over the US, but I know that’s expensive and uses a lot of resources. Plus, I really miss the horses and Fifi.

I do know of a few folks who travel with horses. I used to enjoy reading in one of my horse magazines about the Krones, a couple who roamed North America with their two horses. They sure had some adventures! But it required money, dedication, and more bravery than I have!

So I’ll continue to keep my job and do as much horsing and traveling as is practical. Really, my life is just fine as it is.

I’m Not Sure Who I’m More Proud Of

Hard work and persistence can pay off, and Apache and I learned that today. It’s been challenging and hard, but the two of us have actually managed to learn some things. We can communicate, we can rely on each other, and we can have fun.

He had been standing sort of funny this morning, so I was worried about his feet.

We rocked today’s lesson after Tarrin worked on his shedding soles.

This is after over an hour of me working on his shedding hair. He’s so soft now.

Tarrin was giggling like a kid and telling everyone how happy she was to see Apache shedding sole on his feet. He’d never done that before he started his medication. And the feet are white, not yellow! She found evidence of some bruising, which could explain why he hasn’t been to keen on picking his feet up. Now he should feel really good!

He got his boots back on so he can heal.

Anyway, once the hoof business was complete, we did our lesson stuff. Somehow, in the past month I’ve learned to ask him for a nice, soft trot, and he’s gotten enough muscles to do it. A few weeks ago he could do two or three steps in a rounded trot. Now he can do circles, and circles within circles, and slaloms…wow. It was so unexpected and good that I laughed aloud and snorted in a most undignified manner.

Apache seemed pretty pleased, too. And I feel somewhat competent. I’m even looking forward to doing a little better in the upcoming show. At least I now know how to do a rounded trot! If we execute it, so much the better. It will just be good to have a little more of a clue as to what we’re supposed to do, with different trot and walk speeds, good turns, and subtle cues.

And hey, it’s spring. How do I know? This guy showed up.

My magnificent tail and I have returned!

I am always happy to see scissor tail flycatchers each spring. And the barn swallows have taken over the porch from the house sparrows. Go bug eaters!

Suna, turn off these lights. We’re trying to pair bond here!

Yes, today was glorious. All the butterflies are back, plus more favorite flowers. I’m ready to enjoy a few more days of pleasant weather!

Complimented and Content

What was the best compliment you’ve received?

I’ve had some much appreciated compliments during my life, though like so many others, I tend to discount compliments (oh, that can’t be true!) and dwell on criticism. That’s not a healthy pattern!

I took this photo before we left the state park to remember when I need to settle my mind.

So I’ve been trying to pay more attention to any compliments that come my way, soak them in, and express gratitude for them. One I loved came when I had only been at my current job for a few months. One of the subject matter experts told his colleagues how much he enjoyed my training videos, because I have such a soothing voice that it makes even project management software interesting. That was unexpected! I do think I have a pleasant professional voice, and I had good training thanks to all my singing and tips from a former supervisor who reads books for the blind.

Visually impaired people can enjoy honeysuckle because it smells so good.

One reason I enjoy my current job is that not only do I enjoy the work, but people let me know they appreciate what I create for them. Of course there is criticism, but it’s kind and helpful. I can improve! Win.

Hawthorn looked like a bridal bouquet to me. My compliments to the plant!

Here’s my big takeaway. The thing I find most important about compliments is how good it can feel when you let someone else know something that you like about them. A compliment that’s sincere, unexpected, and insightful can really brighten someone’s day. I most assuredly get more out of delivering a well deserved compliment than receiving one (though both are good!).

What I can do without are insincere compliments that aren’t even well thought out. That’s more like flattery designed to get you to do something or buttering you up for some unpleasant request. Like talking to a poor salesperson. Yuck. If you can’t compliment someone accurately, don’t try.

But I was glad to get home. I missed the horses and Fiona. (And dogs!)

And that’s my advice after a long day of work and travel down roads so bumpy that my watch gave me exercise credit for them!

It was hard to crochet, too but I finished this bag to hold my phone in Seneca. The truck cab lacks amenities like cubbies.