Sue Ann (Suna) Kendall

Farewell to Our Dear Friend

You may have heard that Goldie left this world today, about five months after her osteosarcoma ordeal began. The good news is that she didn’t really slow down until this week, and only got really bad today, not eating, having trouble standing, etc.

The three of us here at the ranch worked together to give Goldie a good last day. after many calls, the guys found a vet who would come here so she didn’t have to be hauled in and out of cars. I sat with her for the last hour before the vet arrived, with her head on my lap or in my arms. It was very peaceful and loving.

It was important to me that she have peace. I have had too many traumatic dog passings. I don’t want more if it can be helped. We knew this was coming, so we could prepare.

Describing what a special dog Goldie was is difficult. People say all Great Danes are sweet dogs. That may be so, but this one felt like a friend, a confidant, and a guardian all rolled into one.

She was a Mighty Huntress of skunks and armadillos, she was a goofy dinosaur head when she got excited, her tail was a danger to men of a certain height, and she looked at you with those golden eyes, so full of love…

The few years we had with Goldie weren’t enough. But that’s what she had for us. We will treasure our memories.

Goldie’s memorial bonfire, next to her very deep grave. Digging big holes is a good way to process grief.

Old, Parents, Worries

What were your parents doing at your age?

I’m still feeling old and irrelevant, just like my cousin J. And I’m incredibly sad to be watching my sweet Great Dane, Goldie, swiftly declining. Cancer is just awful. It makes me hesitant to have another giant dog.

And cancer is why I can’t tell you what my mother was doing at my age (pushing 67). She’d been dead four years, thanks to her nicotine addiction. I wish she’d had a less addictive personality. I know she loved us.

I was born, born in the 50s. I already look concerned.

When Dad was 66 I think he was at his happiest. If my memory is correct, he’d met my stepmother and was having fun hanging with friends, traveling, and working in his beloved flower gardens. What a contrast. Dad was great taking care of Mom. He deserved a time to have fun. (He married Flo, a woman just like quirky Mom only without addictions, so he had challenges later!) I loved my dad so much. What a great, flawed, very human human being he was.

Things sure are different for me. My parents grew more prosperous and felt safer as they aged. Boomers like me had no idea what they’d be in for as they grew older. This is not the future I’d envisioned.

Thanks to everyone who’s been reaching out. Knowing I have kind people in my life is a source of comfort.

February 11 Status

Update on today:

It rained all day. I hope it was enough.
I finished the 2024 temperature blanket. The borders helped.
I feel irrelevant in today’s world. Not much to contribute. Fading away.
Goldie had seizures. Lee wants to see if she can make another week.
Lots of sickness among my friends, as well as losses of beloved dogs and cats. They mean so much to us.

There are hundreds of Grackles in these trees.

It’s just one of those times. I’ll keep breathing and accepting that life has its ups and downs.

Blanket with borders. January 2024 at left, December at right.

Time for Quiet

It’s one of those days when there is a lot to process. I’m not sure that I’m ready to say anything yet, other than I’m feeling really irrelevant due to my age, ethnicity, gender, and views. It’s probably good that I figured that out before I did or said something I shouldn’t. I need to keep processing for a bit.

I’m the big egret in a world of coots and ducks.

We did make it home. The animals are quite pleased. The people seemed to be, too. I’ll talk to y’all, one-sidedly, tomorrow. I’ll be quiet now.

Our two sickly dogs mostly bark from the couch now. Neither is doing very well.

More Excruciatingly Dull Birds

Sorry. All I have is more bird pictures. I spent most of the day relaxing, but hit all my exercise goals walking around looking at stuff.

I didn’t enjoy the Super Bowl much since we had to try to stream it on bad connectivity. I missed most of the good commercials and the game was too embarrassing to enjoy. Ugh.

This coot butt is more interesting than that game.

I did encounter 53 species of birds today, which is impressive. I especially enjoyed sitting at a shady picnic table next to a big oak tree and some scrub, and just watching bird behavior.

This tiny Downy Woodpecker must have pecked this entire sapling.

The most fun part of the interlude was when I heard a new sound and there was the bird I’d been looking for here at Choke Canyon the most, the Audubon’s Oriole. It’s so striking. And it proceeded to put on a little show of cuteness for me. What a joy.

Not wanting me to forget that it’s also cute and colorful, a Green Jay popped in for a puffing and preening session. Yep, it was indeed cute.

I wandered around the lake a while, too, seeing ducks, a pair of Anhingas, Least Sandpipers, Coots, a Cooper’s Hawk, and Ospreys.

Of course, while chatting with neighbors, I did other observations. Enjoy. I enjoyed the neighbors. Many seem as starved for friendly conversation as I am.

Red Admiral. I saw other butterflies, but they were busy.

Heading home tomorrow.

Pay Attention and You’ll Learn Stuff

Here’s what I learned today. This morning, a fellow birder and I watched the Red-winged Blackbirds in a feeding frenzy at the bird blind.

We also watched two beautiful Long-billed Thrashers as they stayed above the hubbub and got their food and drink. These are interesting, because they have a limited range and are sort of in between Brown Thrashers and Curved-bill Thrashers.

They have cool golden eyes and those long bills.

They weren’t as flashy as the Green Jays or Great Kiskadees, but it was fun to watch them pop in and out of view.

As you can imagine, all these birds were loud. Very loud.

The thrashers never made a sound.

Later in the day, I walked the bird trails that led to the unimaginably named 75-Acre Lake. There weren’t many birds to be found most of the way, one exception were Ling-billed Thrashers. They were always rustling in the leaves and hopping up and down in the trees.

I enjoyed the lake which had recently been cleared of cattails, and did hear a White-eyed Vireo pair singing, and lucked out to hear a Roadrunner making its eerie song. All was not lost.

There are large Spanish Dagger yucca here

My learning about the thrashers concluded around sunset. I began hearing what I thought was a Mockingbird going through its repertoire, but it didn’t seem right. I fired up Merlin Bird ID and was quite surprised to see an ID of Ling-billed Thrasher. All the thrashers got together at sunset and sang their hearts out for about a half hour. It was beautiful! Who knew? They only sing at dusk.

I’m glad I paid attention to the behavior of these birds. I learned something!

Hooray! Suna also can differentiate vultures by their wings. I’m a Black Vulture.

Observation and re-evaluation led me to a new life bird today, too. In the bird blind we noticed the size difference between the little Inca Doves and the others at the feeders.

I assumed the large dove at left was a Mourning Dove. However, Merlin listed a different option first, the White-tipped Dove. I’d never heard of it, but looked at the description. Sure enough, this dove had white wing and tail tips and no other patterning. Not a Mourning Dove at all. I just had to look carefully.

Whew. My head is full from all that observing and learning. Still I found time to see more fun plants, animals and birds today. And I can’t forget learning from fellow campers, most of whom seem to be from Canada or Minnesota. They’re so friendly! The birder guy was local, from San Antonio, and he had great advice on Canon cameras and lenses. I’m glad I found him and that Lee was able to talk to him, too.

Knowledge is power. Well, for the moment. Being smart is not popular among the powerful these days.

Birds and Beasts on a Friday

I’m in a funny place in some ways. The scenery isn’t much to write home about, lots of late winter brown, dead downed trees from past storms, and a lake that’s way down from drought so you see a lot of dead tree tops. It’s classic Texas bramble or whatever they call it.

However, the Choke Canyon area is teeming with wildlife. This part of the state is really wild. All the scary creatures in the state roam here. I haven’t seen a mountain lion or coyote, but it seems like I’ve seen the rest, along with a big portion of the birds of south Texas, which are both beautiful and loud.

Example: the collared peccary or javelina.

The peccaries were all over the place. You just don’t get too close to them and all is well. For example, I came up to a group as I rounded a corner on my hike today, and just crossed to the other side of the road. They glared at me as if to underscore that I was on their turf.

Our gang rules this side of the road, see?

I saw evidence (poop) of raccoons and coyotes, who also got to howling earlier this evening. And if I’m good at judging holes, there are armadillos digging up the dirt as well as the javelinas. I haven’t seen any armadillos, but squirrels are around. I have photos of one, but we’re having issues downloading pictures from the fancy camera so I will share later. I will spare you my picture of a very large alligator way across the lake. I will tell you this lake has huge gators!

The most fun I had today was looking at birds. I also had wonderful conversations with campers at the bird blind. It’s conveniently located near our campsite, but not too, near, because the morning blackbirds are almost deafening.

There are many Red-winged Blackbirds enjoying the water feature here.

Also loud were Green Jays. Somehow I managed not to get any good views of them when I was in McAllen in 2023, but I’ve made up for it this time. These are pretty spectacular birds and I got good images on the camera, but they won’t download.

The bird blind had other visitors, too, like Cardinals, Lesser Goldfinches, Yellow-rumped Warblers, and of course a lot of doves. I really enjoyed the small flock of Inca Doves that were at the blind.

We found more birds at the recreation area, which has a fish-cleaning area herons and egrets love. I also heard a new bird, the Olive Sparrow, but only briefly glimpsed it. These guys posed, though.

Later in the day I walked down most of the trails, which didn’t have many birds, other than one Great Kiskadee that shouted at me but mostly hid behind branches. Here’s what they look like.

I did see many deer, who stay out of the javelinas’ ways. A few deer were very thin. Most looked fine, though.

You know what a deer looks like, so just one photo.

It was a good day for birds (50 species in total) and beasts, though rather warm for February. The evening was pleasant, however, and I enjoyed the sunset.

I’ll try to share more thoughts tomorrow. The heat has wiped me out!

Made It to the Wilds of South Texas

I think I’m in south Texas, anyway. It’s far from our house, anyway, and getting here was a slog. There was much construction and extra bumpy roads. Yah, we were roughing it, ha ha.

A picture from before we left: Brown-headed Cowbirds in a tree, gurgling away.

Once we finally found Choke Canyon State Park, I was excited, because it would have interesting birds, and I hoped some interesting animals, too. But first we had to get Seneca the motorhome set up. I guess all the bumps jostled the battery cables, plus there’s a water problem caused by our recent freeze (our prep work wasn’t quite good enough), and… the generator still isn’t working. Verdict: going in for repairs next week.

View from the campsite. The lake is behind that brush.

While poor Lee was trying to finish setting up, I ran around trying to see what the place was like before it got too dark. Merlin found a Great Kiskadee, which I hope to see while I’m here, along with green jays and other southern birds.

I did spot five bunnies, many deer, and three roaming javelinas. The most fun, I think, were all the bats swooping around at dusk. I love watching them!

Other campers reported alligators, so I have things to look forward to at this park, which is next to a very large lake surrounded by…I’m not sure what, but I’ll find out tomorrow. Though it was a hectic day (lots went on at work, too), I can’t complain about getting some nature time in!

Actually the lake is surrounded by oil refineries and wells. After it got dark, I could see a lot of natural gas flaring.

An Ideal Suna Day

Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.

I wasn’t going to write again today, but the prompt cheered me up. I enjoyed pretending I could have an ideal day again. I could do this day if I had enough money to maintain this lavish lifestyle. It’s not really lavish, just maintaining what we have now, which I doubt will happen. Wait I was cheered up there for a minute. Hold on.

There is a new day, every day, until there isn’t

So, I would wake up around 7:30, meditate, and do morning journaling over coffee, preferably on the porch. Of course I’d feed my many happy chickens. Next I’d walk all over the property looking for interesting plants and birds. I’d get at least 50 birds on Merlin (which I did yesterday!).

I’d come in and check email and, it being my ideal day, I would not read my usual news. Lunch time would roll around and I would go to town and eat with one or more of my friends, maybe at somewhere not Mexican for a change. We would say kind things to each other and laugh at funny stories.

This looks remarkably like today’s tacos but is from Pexels

Heading home, I’d spend quality time with the horses, not just Apache. I’d groom and exercise one of the others, feed them all, then ride Apache and practice our skills. We would take a little walk around, just for fun and he’d be fine with that.

After the horses, I’d go swimming or hang around on the patio chatting with Lee and any other present family members, followed by a dinner that I didn’t cook. Maybe it would just be cheese and crackers if lunch was big enough. We would watch a movie or television show that was funny or educational. I would knit or crochet through that part.

Yes, I’d add some fruit. Probably not wine, since I’m drinking less.

I’d go upstairs, get ready for bed, then blog and/or read. Carlton would hop up and join me in snoozing.

Ah, that sounds good! My ideal day is peaceful and calm. It’s relatively stress free (only fun stress allowed).

I did many of the things in the ideal day today, but I also worked and stressed over world events. Sigh. I’m spending much time these days just watching, observing, and trying to understand what’s happening. I’m trying to listen more than I speak. And I’m trying to be useful.

Yes, my ideal day is at home. I probably also have an ideal travel day!

Happy False Spring

There’s always a warm front that fools us into thinking winter’s over here in Texas. It often happens when the first migratory birds show up. This year, a Purple Martin arrived yesterday followed by a Scissortail Flycatcher today. Both were males. These are “scouts,” checking out the neighborhood.

I had to grab this fast, but you can see his long tail.

False spring arrives out of nowhere. One week you’re wearing all your layers, the next week you look like this.

Yep, the first orange (above 85°) flower on my temperature blanket will mark this day. I dripped with sweat for the first time in 2025, something I’d have gladly waited for. Apache, still in full winter furriness could have done without a lesson today, too.

We have confidence that this winter warmth will fade in a week or so. Until then, I’ll be able to enjoy birds in the mornings and sweat with the horses in the afternoons. And it will be good hiking weather, I hope.

Flowers are popping up! Red stemmed stork’s bill.

After a sweaty grooming session (my equine companion was entranced by a hawk and not very cooperative), we had another good lesson. Apache is learning finesse very quickly, as soon as I figure it out.

Yeah Suna. You’re holding me back. Let’s get rid of your head.

The cool achievement today was very smooth stopping. He can stop immediately from a fast trot and I hardly feel it. It’s my favorite feature so far in our journey toward cantering. We practice stopping a lot. Then going. Anyway, it’s fun to improve at our own pace.

I’m glad we had the lesson, even though Tarrin wasn’t feeling great. It made up for a challenging work day and some hard conversations with my friends. Plus it was nice of Lee to come along and take photos of me and faithful Apache. He also took cute pictures of Tarrin’s pets.