energy – The Hermits' Rest

Strength Takes Energy

I have been working hard the past five years or so to stay strong, see the good in the world around me, and like myself.

Damn. That takes a lot of energy. I had to spend an hour today being my confident, most impressive self. I did very well. But once I was done, I kind of deflated.

Right now I just want to sink into the floor and disappear. I’m feeling so despondent about how the powerful abuse the powerless, how fragile friendships can be, and how hard it is to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

My crafting compulsion kept me company. I have cute little rose gold squares to share.

Tomorrow I have to get up and lead a webinar and be kind but firm as I go over more changes in how to use the software I support. I enjoy helping folks out, a lot. It’s simply difficult to muster the energy to project confidence and be clear as I go over complex topics. Confidence, clarity, complexity. That last “c” makes the first two challenging.

I know I’m not alone in feeling burned out from trying to project hope and confidence. I say we all need to give ourselves permission to rest, recover, and recharge as often as needed. It’s not a sign of weakness!

I’m sure I’ll feel better in the morning and enjoy the presentation. if not, I’ll do it anyway.

Can I Take It Easy?

In my current phase of life I have way more energy than I did in the pre-menopausal years. I think I finally have my thyroid and hormones tuned optimally, so I’m much more active. That’s all good!

But today, after 17K steps the day before, my head reminded me it had been whacked recently. I had balance issues and more headache than I had before. Then I got nauseated and realized I had a rare migraine. I had things to do and places to go, though. could I make myself stop?

Luckily the morning walk was slow and easy, since we took Martha through the Palmetto trail to show her the pump house and the wheel with trees growing through it. I did okay then, distracted by cute frogs and butterfly chrysalises.

Mike found this leopard frog. I found one later but it’s invisible in my photo!

We went to historic Gonzales, Texas (I think “historic” is part of its name) for lunch at Lee’s childhood favorite barbecue place, the Gonzales Meat Market. That was fun and delicious, even while dizzy. Lee got me a cool crape myrtle walking stick afterwards, with stones inlaid in it, so I wouldn’t fall down. How sweet!

Historic Gonzales. It’s where those Come and Take It flags originated.

After that I admitted defeat and realized I was not hiking for mikes today. Instead I slept a long time. Upon awakening I felt better. Whew. Before you start lecturing me, I’ll go to a doctor if I have more symptoms.

Wrens live in our grill. I took this while resting. It’s the male.

I was able to walk the river trail, shortened, and I’m glad I did, because there were wrens everywhere. It was so much fun watching them. I also finally found a snake. It was a pretty ribbon snake. I got pretty hot, so more resting occurred. I really couldn’t do my usual stuff!

After we ate our favorite camping meal, cheese and crackers, I couldn’t stop myself from heading out again. I just wanted to make my movement goal on the watch. This time I didn’t get too hot, and I got some good river photos. I needed a few more steps so I just went a little ways down the swamp trail. I was rewarded by the sounds of a wild turkey and pileated woodpecker. They were cool, but a bit spooky, so I went back!

All is well now. I got my goal taking a short walk with Martha, then we all enjoyed a campfire and s’mores. Of course, I’m wide awake now, thanks to that healing nap.

I never thought I’d ever be a person who felt weird if they didn’t get enough exercise. Where did Slug Suna go?

Do I Have Energy?

What things give you energy?

This question made me laugh. I’m not the most energetic person on earth. But I’m more energetic than I was when younger, thanks to developing outdoor hobbies.

Wood sorrel gives natural energy! Maybe?

Admittedly, one thing that’s giving me energy these days is thyroid pills. Now that I have a dose that doesn’t annoy my gland, I do have more energy and I burn more calories during the day. I feel much more “normal” now in that respect.

Just thought this false foxglove was pretty.

Other things that give me energy are working on fun projects, at work or home. I’m enjoying my current work project and the temperature blanket.

First row of Part 3. Start of September.

When it’s not too hot (it was 104 today) I get energized working with the horses. I just don’t want to stop. Today was another overheating day, though.

And going into natural areas makes me extra energetic. I had so much fun running around identifying plants at the watercolor place yesterday! I get almost giddy at times like that.

However, I’m sort of slug-like much of the time. I enjoy reading, knitting, watching nature and home renovation shows, and pool lounging, quite a bit. But that’s fine. I have an energy balance!