dailyprompt – Page 4 – The Hermits' Rest

Can I Unplug?

How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?

I don’t think I’ve ever been great at unplugging, but I’ve muddled through by being very consistent with my meditation practice. That way I get at least 20 minutes of turning my racing thoughts off nearly every day. I’m glad I’m one of the people who can use meditation. I know some folks can’t.

Just relax and go to your happy place, in this case the bird sanctuary I help with.

But I’ve always been “too sensitive” and always felt a lot of empathy for people who are struggling. Combined with a drive to always occupy myself with work, volunteering, and knitting/crochet left me with little downtime and no time to unplug. Heck, I always worked on camping and condo trips. At least I worked with good scenery.

Good scenery is everywhere if you just look. Still I’m glad I live out in the middle of rural Texas.

I didn’t know how to listen to my mind and body and give them a rest when needed. I just made sure I had good anti-anxiety meds and took the right vitamins/supplements to support that busy brain and body. Not altogether healthy, huh?

My mind and body fighting each other, as depicted by Carlton and Penney.

My last trip to Hilton Head in April was the first time I ever really unplugged. I didn’t watch or read the news, I took lots of long walks, and I quit constantly writing in my head (I do that, like I’m my own narrator, which is truly annoying when I realize I’m doing it).

“I’m walking down the road heading to our house, thinking about how thick that giant cane has grown,” says Narrator Suna.

I found out I don’t keel over and the world doesn’t stop if I take a break from making contributions. I don’t always need to be mothering or mentoring. It’s all right just to BE sometimes.

Unplugging gives me time to slow down and notice like a shed grasshopper exoskeleton.

The past few months of not working for pay have helped me relax and taken a lot of pressure to succeed off me. I must confess I had a job interview Thursday and it went very well. I’m a sucker for helping an organization maximize their use of that darned software I’ve supported for so long. But I’ve learned to set firm limits, and even if I do one more consulting thing, its length will be limited.

I’m sure I’ll need to remember how to unplug when that’s over, if I do okay on the second interview. Hmm, didn’t I ask you readers to talk me out of going back to work recently?

Just Teaching Those Grownups

What jobs have you had?

I’ll delay my book report another day, since I happen to have been thinking about my work history a lot today. I was trying to figure out whether I had a career arc or just a series of random ways to make money to live on. Hmm

I started out planning to work in academia, but realized early on that I liked the teaching part way more than writing academic papers. After a couple of years working with the infant internet I suddenly was a web designer (back when it was EASY—I always like to mention that my first few sites didn’t have color, because everyone still had monochrome monitors. There’s more in my Prairienet post.

Once I got my first job at a software company, I knew what I liked to do, which was teach others about software. I loved writing software manuals and editing the work of others. I figured it out before I was 30, which is pretty good for figuring out what you want to be when you grow up.

The arrival of two children sent me on a detour, but not too far. I kept making websites for people, nonprofits and such, while teaching a different kind of adult as a breastfeeding support volunteer. I met so many lovely people and was able to be at home with my children! That was truly the best part of my work history.

I ended up getting a real job with the nonprofit and led their online efforts for a while. I got valuable experience working remotely and creating online communities. While that job had a pretty horrible ending as the organization went through one of its periodic implosions, I got to keep my knowledge and friends. After a good deal of therapy, I recovered (plus my spouse left, I did dumb stuff, and blah blah…).

I kept teaching no matter what. There are many people who knit or crochet thanks to me.

It’s okay, because desperation to support my kids led me to a job writing software training that led me to meet my fine spouse, Lee. The years when we were first together led to a series of software training jobs where I learned to make videos and teach so many people so many things in so many industries from manufacturing to weird mainframe accounting software to telecommunications. It was really fun and challenging.

I got to concentrate on just one thing, project management software, for the past 15 years or so. I even had a “real” non-contract job, where I used every single skill I’d been developing. What a privilege! I loved making training videos, writing help content, designing user communities, and collaborating with smart people!

Now I’m some kind of expert in training this software, and people come looking for me. That feels good, even if I do like this retirement gig. I do enjoy helping organizations do productive work, so I may help out again, just not for four years like I did at my last contract job! That’s because horses and nature are also fun.

So, yeah, my career had an arc. Teaching adults to use software. I’m still doing it for Master Naturalists, after all!

Will I Have a Legacy

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

Here’s a question I had not considered before. I tend to have an overly existentialist view of life, that we’re here while we’re here, and when we’re gone, we’re gone. It’s been many years since I’ve thought about what happens when I’m gone.

My genes won’t live on in future generations, so I’m not sticking any thoughts in mitochondrial DNA. My books won’t sit on bookshelves and my knitting isn’t good enough to pass on reverently.

Nor is my bird photography. It’s barely adequate!

I think the volunteer work I’ve done has the most chance of leaving a legacy. I know I helped many, many women with feeding their babies when I put all that material on the old La Leche League website. That will pay forward for future generations.

And I survived those years only going a little cuckoo (this is a Yellow-billed Cuckoo).

The many hours I’ve spent documenting organisms found wherever I go on iNaturalist is another legacy. That data can help scientists in the future to learn more about how life changes through time. I’m proud of this work. Plus, it’s fun.

The third legacy I hope to leave is that if I helped anyone feel better or inspired them to take action, those I influenced will pass on the assistance or inspiration to others. I’d be very grateful to pass that legacy on.

Fruit! Fruit! Just Five?

List your top 5 favorite fruits.

Society is collapsing and they want to know my five favorite fruits? Well, okay. Let’s see if I can find anything interesting to say about that. Here we go.

This AI fruit salad has none of my top five.

One: Pineapple. The pineapple is the most glorious and delicious fruit-ish food there is.* If I didn’t love squash so much, it would be my favorite food (note, squash are fruits, botanically). I know it has weird allergic properties for some people and messes up Jello, but pineapple makes anything better, including rum.

Two: Mango. This is another flavor that just knocks me out. It’s hard to get mango off the seed, but worth it. if you ever get a chance to eat a mango fresh from the tree, do it. There are sweeter and more complex varieties that do t ship well. It’s one of the treats I miss from living in South Florida (the other is fresh key limes). Mango margaritas, with or without tequila are divine beverages.

The next three are pretty much tied.

Three: Peaches. Make that ripe, juicy, non-mealy peaches. Mealy peaches are a huge disappointment. The best peaches I ever had were in Breckenridge, Colorado last year during the local harvest. Simply perfect. Here in Texas, the Fredericksburg peaches are also wonderful, though small. Just eat lots of them. I love peach cobbler.

Four: Pears. As with peaches, down with mealiness! Really I only like some types of pears, I find the crisp and astringent ones not pleasant. But a big ole juicy pear that is both sweet and tart makes me very happy. I’m also fond of canned pears with cheddar cheese.

Five: Plums. a perfectly ripe plum is glorious. I like all the kinds, from extra sweet to spicy, but not unripe or overripe. I give those to the chickens. I also like pluots, or whatever the hybrids are called. Plums are good cooked with pork.

I just thought this was pretty. From Pexels.

Four out of my top five fruits start with the letter “p.” Hmm.

Runners Up

While I’m here, I may as well give my opinions on other fruits or sweet and juicy foods.

Apricots. I doglike them as much as peaches. The skin texture isn’t my favorite. Apricot jam is fine!
Bananas. I like the ones in the stores fine, and do love banana pudding. But, like mangoes, they are so much better straight from the tree. My dad used to grow pinkish ones with a peachy flavor.
Berries. I like berry flavors, but not all those little seeds. Blackberries are my favorite, but I eat more free dewberries out of the fence lines.
Cherries. Well, these are probably number 6 out of the top five. I can sure eat a good cherry. I like the Ranier ones best, but there are many good ones. The extra dark, extra sweet ones are better in an Old Fashioned. Yum.
Citrus. I can’t have too much of it because of the acid reflux, but I like citrus, especially limes. I also love lemons and grapefruit. Some oranges are good and some taste like plastic wrap to me. The same goes for tangerines and related citrus. Some are great, some are awful, and you can’t tell until you open them up.
Grapes. Some green grapes are too sour and bitter for me, but there are many grapes I’d swoon over, like the ones I had in Hilton Head. Wow. I find seeded grapes too much of a pain to eat many of, but I like to cook wild grapes and make sauces and such. They’re tangy, but the skin is sweet. Grapes are also excellent made into wine.
Melons. Watermelon has to be very cold and sweet for me to enjoy, unless the rind is made into preserves. Muskmelons like cantaloupe and honeydew are nice in fruit salad. I enjoy them when served, but rarely buy them for myself.
Strawberries. I put these separate. I do not like the seeds and hairy things on the outside. But well ripened ones make amazing shortcake.

I’m sure I missed something, but look at me! I wrote so many words about fruit. It did distract me from the news for a while!

Ooh. I forgot kiwi fruit. It’s okay. Pexels again.

*Let us not get all persnickety about what constitutes a fruit, a drupe, or a vegetable. I’m going with what we colloquially call fruits in the USA.

Oops! Left out pomegranate (delicious except the seeds) and papaya (smells awful). Kathleen thought of more P fruit.

It’s a Live Performance?

What was the last live performance you saw?

I no longer am comfortable in large crowds. So I don’t go places to see performances anymore. And my family no longer makes music for each other after some sad things happened. Oh well. I still enjoy performances daily.

So, I’ll say my most recent live performance, which took place 2:00-2:20 today, featured, in order of appearance):

Painted Bunting
Tennessee Warbler
Tufted Titmouse
Northern Cardinal
Barn Swallow
Carolina Chickadee
Eastern Bluebird
Carolina Wren
Green Heron (weirdest melody)
Mourning Dove
House Sparrow
Rooster
Domestic Turkey, portrayed by Connie Gobbler
Eastern Meadowlark
Northern Mockingbird
Dickcissel
Bay-breasted Warbler
Scissor-tailed Flycatcher
American Crow
Barred Owl
Purple Martin
Brown-headed Cowbird
Baltimore Oriole
Cliff Swallow
Warbling Vireo
Great Crested Flycatcher
Common Nighthawk
Red-bellied Woodpacker
Yellow-billed Cuckoo (second weirdest melody)

Accompanied by:

Flies
Gnats
Wasps
Cow (coughing)
Dogs
Cow (mooing)
Honeybees

I missed the rhythm section, the woodpeckers until the Red-belly appeared, and the frequent raptor soloists almost failed to show up until the Nighthawk croaked. All in all, a pretty good show.

Thanks to Merlin Bird ID for recording the concert and iNaturalist for plant ID.

The free refreshments were vine-ripened and delicious.

Ten Years from Now

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

It will be a privilege to be alive in ten years. Most of my life I fully expected to be healthy and hearty at 77 years of age, like many of my friends are now.

I hope to enjoy scenery like this for many years.

I expected to be in my home, enjoying my pets and nature, traveling at least a bit to see new sights or visit friends. That’s the same as now.

As an example, we drove today to a place near Medina, Texas, to see the cabin Lee’s friend Matt has been working on for many years. It was fun. I got to hear a new kind of vireo and a Golden-Cheeked Warbler, found only here this time of year. What a privilege to be free to do this.

I’m concerned, though, that in a decade I won’t have a source of income or health care, though I’ve paid into Social Security and Medicare my whole working life. If that’s the case, things may look very different in ten years. Who knows? Things could also be better, too.

Let’s hope we all still get to enjoy our friends and family a decade from now. In the meantime, treasure what you have. That’s my plan.

Books to Love

What book could you read over and over again?

I admit it. I have read many books by Brené Brown more than once. I think people need different kinds of support at different times in their lives. When I needed to drag my self esteem out of the gutter and stop telling myself I kind things about myself, her stories and ideas were there to push me toward healing. I’m forever grateful that she writes in ways that reach me.

Just a picture to note that Cattle Egrets have arrived.

Here are my Brené Brown favorites:

Her writing taught me I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t awful. What a gift!

Here’s a gift. My favorite wildflower, Texas Baby Blue Eyes.

I’ve mentioned before that I must have read Black Beauty, by Anna Sewell, dozens of times as a child. It shaped by love of horses and all animals and set me on a path of kindness to our animal friends.

Speaking of my animal friends, Apache and I had a hard lesson today. He is not fond at all of Tarrin’s gate obstacle. I got a good lesson in patience (though I did lose my patience once). He learned he has to trust me when I ask him to do things, and I learned I still have work to do on quietly repeating instructions and not showing my frustration.

It’s like the dung beetle. You just keep pushing until you get there. No need to get upset.

He’s such a good guy most of the time that I know Apache has his reasons for disliking the gate. We will work through it! After all, Brené Brown taught me that being imperfect is how we grow.

Georgia on My Mind

Who was your most influential teacher? Why?

I’m lucky to have had many wonderful teachers throughout my life, many of whom are also friends. That’s a privilege. I’m interrupting my travelogue of state park visits to once again mention my most influential teacher (because I’m pretty sure I’ve gushed about this before), Georgia.

I’m not splashing pictures of her in this post. She knows who she is.

She taught me syntax and pragmatics (among other things) in graduate school in Illinois. The academic stuff was great—the staff at that school really made my favorite topics interesting. But it turned out that I didn’t have what it takes to be a linguistics professor after all (though I loved teaching it).

Me in the 1980s when I was mentally unstable.

How convenient it was for me that I learned ideas and skills I’d use for my whole life from Georgia’s examples. Her examples as an instructor, editor, spouse, parent, political activist, and critical thinker are with me every day. For example, I learned to write, proofread, and edit after reading her corrections on my work. Thanks for the career skills, Georgia!

How she raised her children greatly influenced my own parenting, since I lacked a sane role model in the mother department. I admire her children so much today!

The most important thing she taught me, though, was to accept others as they are. She knew me in my worst years, when I made one bad decision after another, and thought more with my hormones than my brain. Georgia was still kind and gracious to me and still is today. That in itself is one of the greatest lessons she imparted, that people don’t have to be perfect to be loved.

This guy and I are still teaching each other that lesson.

Enough mushiness on that topic, except to say that we are all taught by so many people and teach others as well. Let’s try to teach positive lessons!

Losing Myself in Birds

What activities do you lose yourself in?

There are many activities I enjoy. Right now, though, birding is what I lose myself in. Time stands still and I let myself feel at peace when I’m watching their antics. They are so different and fascinating to me.

Today was all about birds, starting with a birding boat trip where I saw eight new birds for my life list. We went into the Aransas National Wildlife Refuge and were delighted by the variety of species good old Captain Tommy spotted (I spotted some, too).

The highlight, of course, was spotting many Whooping Cranes enjoying their crab fests. We lucked out and got to observe parents and a hefty juvenile fairly close. The crabbing was excellent.

We saw a couple of pairs fly off, too. Those massive aviators are so graceful.

We also got to see Oystercatchers nesting, many different gulls, Roseate Spoonbills, cormorants (both kinds), White Ibis, and young Great Blue Herons. The adults are all nesting.

You can’t see it, but an Oystercatcher nest is in that brush. We also saw many huge barges.

After the boat, we journeyed to Port Aransas, which was a longer ride than usual thanks to ferry delays (spring break). But the place we went was pretty darned impressive, even if it was right next to the sewer plant and garbage truck headquarters. It was the Leonabelle Turner Birding Center, with beautiful boardwalks overlooking hundreds of water birds.

The water was so clear you could see what the teals and shovelers were shoveling. Oh there were so many ducks!

There were also herons and egrets galore, who hung out with Ibises.

A flock of White Pelicans had camped out in the distance.

Also there were Long-billed Dowitchers, Black-necked Stilts, Coots, and Gallinules. So many birds. The stilts were hilarious and by far my favorite.

I’m too tired for more details, but we had a good day, especially when helping others or learning from more knowledgeable folks. We met many very cool people.

And in the End…

…the love you take is equal to the love you make (Lennon/McCartney)

I re-learned this from a horse today, dear Mabel. Coincidentally, the blogging prompt today was about animals:

Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?

I have had an affinity with horses since I was a toddler, as I’ve frequently mentioned here. Even before I met my first horse, they made an impression in books and on television (I was a child when Westerns were popular, so you got to see lots of beautiful horses, and I read every horse book in the school library).

Horses always seemed to have good lives, mostly eating, hanging around with friends, and sleeping, with some running around to liven things up. That would work for me. Plus, as prey animals they look out for each other, but low rank horses get picked on by insecure bullies (a drama I often witness). That reminds me of how I ended up being very protective of friends and team members after dealing with a lot of bullying.

No wonder I like horses. They even have delicate digestive systems like me.

Mabel certainly has her issues. She’s choked twice.

As I’ve learned more about horses and how they interact with humans, it’s become so clear that your intention, your mood, and your demeanor affect them. It’s made a huge difference with me and Apache, and I’ve seen it break down with Drew due to his issues — no amount of good intentions has broken through his pain.

I’m just not able to help him like he needs to be helped. Makes me sad.

Healing can take time, and a horse in pain has trouble trusting people. That’s how Mabel was at first. Gradually, with good nutrition and care, she’s become healthy. And her attitude has shifted as well. I didn’t realize quite how much until the last couple of weeks, when she’s become downright friendly. All the love I’ve tried to pour into her may have helped, too.

This friendly expression makes me so happy.

This afternoon, after feeding everyone, I spent time removing winter hair and any new burs from each horse who’d let me. The last horse I groomed was Mabel, who isn’t as fuzzy as Dusty or Apache, but needs de-winterizing. I noticed how nicely she stood still and let me spend time on her, even lowering her giant head and asking to have it rubbed (I didn’t touch her head for at least two years).

I finished up, opened the gate to her pen, and set the grooming bucket down to keep the gate from hitting her when she left. But she didn’t leave. With her ears forward and eyes bright, she lowered her head so I could massage her neck. I ended up just holding this animal who’s as tall as me at her shoulders in my arms with her leaning her neck on my shoulder and her head cradling me. Other horses walked by us, but she didn’t move.

I remained with her. We watched a rabbit flee from a Harrier, then watched the bird hunt all over our field, still calmly sharing love (or safety or whatever a horse would call it) with each other. It was the most peaceful time I’ve ever had with Mabel. Since I’d already exchanged hugs, love, and peace with Dusty and Apache, I was all full of endorphins.

It’s not always this way, but lately these animals have repaid me for my efforts with so much. It’s the way relationships should be, giving and taking love as needed. It helps to identify with the animals, perhaps.