connection – The Hermits' Rest

Vibes, Prayers, and Intent

Two dear friends had surgery today. These women have given me great support, encouragement, and caring in the many years I’ve known them. They are two of the most thoughtful and loving people I’ve ever met, so naturally they were in my thoughts today.

I told my husband how relieved I was when I heard they were both home and starting the next phases of recovery. He probably thinks I’m a bit bonkers for caring about so many of my old colleagues from the nonprofit years, but we went through so much together. I owe them my loyalty as so many have been so good to me.

The way I thought about my friends all day made me muse about how handy it would be if I had some sky dude to pray to. But even when I tried to pray as a child, I always thought God would get more of a feeling than my laundry list of specific entreaties. Nonetheless I find myself doing my pagan Buddhist version of sending out Lovingkindness aimed toward the West Coast of North America, where my friends are. I just feel it in my bones that positive intent has an effect on us.

No doubt humans have an instinctual drive to try to make things better for friends and family. And for all I know the vibes I send out may help. They help me, at least, to feel connected. I’ve heard that people recover better when they know others are cheering them on, but I’m not sure. I can hope!

Perhaps if folks spent more time sending positive energy and good intent out and less time blaming others for sickness, natural disasters, and all that, we’d start to think and behave differently. To make the world better takes more than thoughts and prayers, of course, but if it leads to action, maybe humanity could slow the downward spiral we and our planet are in.

I’m off to beam out healing vibes now. Good night.

Mushrooms and sun, we had a break from rain.

Feelings about Horse Friends

The minute I saw Tarrin today for my lesson, I knew something was wrong. Sure enough, she’d just found out that a horse in our little community had passed away suddenly. The feelings that went through me right then awakened a deep truth in me.

A very brief weather event brought us comfort. Photo by Tarrin.

I realized that I feel connections with horses I know just like I do people. And I liked this horse very much. He was brave, funny, and very cool, not to mention gorgeous. And he’d had such an interesting life; he was a circus horse! He was lucky to spend his final years with a human who was devoted to him and learned so much to help him out.

I didn’t know him as well as Tarrin or Sara, who spent lots of time with him at shows and educational events, but I liked him, like I would a person. Yeah, I don’t know exactly why, but I cared about him a lot! I’m grieving for him and his human like I do when people I care about pass.

Don’t let anyone tell you animals are “just animals.” We can connect with them, too. The hardest part about having companion animals in our lives is knowing their lives tend to be shorter than ours. I still deeply miss my departed dogs.

My heart goes out to our community member who lost her equine friend. I sure gave all mine extra hugs today, even if they were all sweaty.

Sweaty me and sweaty Apache, with an extra cool cloud.

All our connections are meaningful. Go hug a dog, a cat, a horse, a human, or whatever living creature matters to you.

Mourning Relationships

I didn’t write a blog post yesterday, because I was too caught up in an unexpected wave of emotions. I found out that another of my mentor/friends from my time in La Leche League had passed away quite unexpectedly. Mentor/friend. There’s a concept. I truly believe that everyone we get to know, even a little, teaches us something. Everyone who becomes a friend teaches us something we need to learn that will help us.

Losing Gail Moak, who was a friend and mentor to so many stunned and pained me. As I sat with my grief (when I finally got a moment) it occurred to me that what I am mourning more than anything is the end of opportunities to listen to Gail, to learn from her, and to support her when she needs support.

Luckily, my mentor/friend Nancy called right about then, as I was sweeping the front porch to dissipate my feelings of helplessness, and she understood what I meant when I told her I don’t mourn the loss of life, because I know that happens to us all; I mourn the loss of a real-time relationship. Wow, I really value relationships with people I care about.

Last night’s sunset comforted me, as the Earth often does in its perspective

I think I mourn losses of friendships the same way. When the incident with our Bobcat book club happened, I ended up feeling so sad that I’d lost the chance to connect with, learn from, and support some women I’d come to think of as friends. They’re still alive, but our relationship died. It still hurts.

There’s that cliche that people always say after a loss, something like tell those you care about that you love them, or hug your family now. I can understand where that impulse comes from. My dearest wish, when it comes to my friends and family, though, would be that they are secure in the knowledge that I value my relationship with them, whatever it is, and that I will mourn it when we part, however we do part.

There’s so much we don’t know. But we do know our connections are vital for our spirits.

Just a bit about Gail. I knew of her when I worked with La Leche League, but never met her until I was asked to serve on the Board of Friends of LLL, the group for retired Leaders and supporters of the organization. We worked closely on the newsletter when I was editor, spoke often during meetings, and communicated very much on social media.

I got to know what a caring person she was, and not just about mothers and babies. She was passionate about equal rights for all people and didn’t just talk about it, she acted. I learned ways to be a stronger ally for my Black, brown, and indigenous friends from her. I saw her kindness toward the LGBTQIA+ community and felt a kindred spirit in how she expressed love and, crucially, support for people trying to be themselves in an increasingly hostile environment.

I dedicated this butterfly to Gail’s spirit

Most important, she was one of my many Christian friends who remind me that there are Christ-like ways of following that tradition where all are loved, not just rich, white males and their followers.

I just had to get all of what’s been stewing inside of me out. Writing things down always helps ground me. Life without both my friends Johanna and Gail will be hard. Both of them will leave a little black hole in Zoom meetings where their squares should be, but my heart will be full of memories of my relationships with these mentor/friends.

Thanks to all of you readers who have touched me. You DO make a difference and you have each taught me a lesson (some fun, some not so fun). I’m very grateful to you all.

Reach Out to Someone Right Now

Hard day.

Two woman I admired very much passed away within 24 hours of each other. Both from breast cancer complications, to simplify things. I’m glad they each had so many friends who treasured them. We have so many shared memories.

I can’t tell you to go out and hug your friends. That’s because COVID is also hurting people I care about right now. It’s way too close for comfort.

So…reach out to people you care about. Maybe a couple a day. We never know how long we will have with people we care about. Or how long we have in this life.

Thanks to all of you for being one of my connections.