caring – The Hermits' Rest

Appreciate Your Community

Because of life constraints I don’t get to see some of the people who mean the most to me. You know who you are.

For that reason it was so gratifying to spend time just relaxing and talking to my friend Anita this evening. Even though we only live five miles away, it’s hard to get together right now thanks to work and a geriatric dog.

But we did get to have some of our talks like only people who’ve known each other over half a century can have. I feel lots better just from the in-person check-in (as opposed to social media and text).

We all chatted on the new porch. Now I’ve had two friend visits here!

It makes me want to see a few other close friends even more. All the busyness and over/scheduling just makes it hard. Well, and me being a hermit and wanting to avoid big cities and crowds doesn’t help.

I’m grateful for Zoom/Teams chats and wish I had more. Maybe I should schedule some! Taking action is a skill I’m still working on, for sure! If you want to chat with me or someone you care about, do it! Make a plan. I’ll try to take my own advice.

It’s a full moon, so I can manifest more sociability.

But to those of you I care about and don’t talk to often, know you’re in my thoughts more than you could imagine. My brain is filled with community. Now to maintain it…

Tough Times Together

I’m just not able to say much right now. The loss of lives and livelihoods near me in Texas is heart wrenching and has affected nearly everyone I know directly or indirectly. The whole state is in shock, because the campers and other visitors were from all over the state. It’s really too hard to talk about right now.

This is Alfred informing me that the weather is bad.

I’m grateful for the first responders and trained volunteers from our county and nearby who went to help with flooding that wasn’t on the news, but was still bad. It always impresses me how these highly trained folks just go wherever they’re needed, even to other states or countries. They’re needed with so much bad weather here and in North Carolina, not to mention the fires in the Navajo Nation.

Here we just had a reasonable amount of rain, though lightning hit a tree near the horse pasture. Horses are ok. I immersed myself in work today, which was helpful. I guess I’m also grateful for having a good challenge to occupy my mind.

I’m also grateful for pets, even skittish ones.

Take care of yourselves. Hugs to all of you dealing with challenges. I haven’t forgotten you. We are in this together.

My Favorite Thing about Me

What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

I didn’t have too much to write about today, other than that horses are cute and I have a new favorite light fixture. So, let’s find out what my favorite thing about me might be.

But first, look at the fun Apache and Rylie (probably not spelled right) had today during warmups.

Okay, so, answer the question, Suna. And don’t say you like something except for this that or the other. No self put-downs allowed.

Oh, second, hey look at this light fixture. It looks like planets made of rock crystals.

I used to always say my favorite thing about myself were my feet. They were not too big or small, medium width, and had nice toes. Now they are more mature feet with mature person issues. So, nope, it’s not my feet.

Sorry, feet, you also always have fire ant bites.

All right. I’ll refrain from pointing out the obvious negatives for this, as instructed, and declare my favorite thing about myself is how I can empathize with others, care deeply about people who don’t care back, and always see our commonalities as humans. That boils down to one concept but I don’t have the right word for it.

Take a seat while I add unnecessary explanations, as I tend to do.

Note that I can now set boundaries, so my character feature is one I can now embrace without fear of hurting myself. I’m not going to run out and embrace the toxic people in my life, but I can try to understand them and care, from a distance.

They can’t hurt me, even though I may appear vulnerable, just like today’s maize calligrapher fly can’t sting me, even though it looks like a wasp.

Super Sensitive Suna, as I labeled myself on Facebook today, can take the occasional sadness and hurt that comes from all that caring, but it’s worth it. I just have to expect to have the occasional down periods. It’s a small price to pay to keep cherishing my favorite thing about myself.

Committed to Telling People What They Mean to Me.

This afternoon, Lee, our friend Martha, and I drove back to our old haunt, Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Church in Cedar Park. Due to some PTSD (at least on my part), it doesn’t happen often. But there we were, right where we used to be.

And there I was, doing what I used to do, singing with Bill. He asked me to join him, so I tried to remember how to sing.

A dear friend, Esther, passed away recently, and the Celebration of Life was today. This couple was a role model for our marriage, support when Lee’s dad was ill. I sang in the church choir for many years with Jim, and he brought me fish and game from time to time (I loved threatening to make squirrel stew from his bounty). He hated squirrels as much as Anita does.

As I listened to Jim share the touching story of their long and loving marriage, followed by funny and moving stories about Esther from their children and more, it occurred to me how Esther would have enjoyed the evening. Gee, most of the family are professional writers, so anyone would have enjoyed it.

My choir and women’s group friends with Jim.

What sparked in me was a desire to let all my old friends I saw at the service know how much I appreciated them and their contributions to my life. I did a lot of extra-hard hugging of my women’s group buddies and former choir friends. And a few people were probably a bit embarrassed to hear me tell them how much they mean to me. I was sorry a couple of people had to leave early. I’d have blubbered even more.

I blubbered at Ricky because he called me “Sue-Nanna,” which is what he always called me. Then we talked about football and golf.

But, in these uncertain times, I don’t know when I’ll see some of these kind and loving souls again. If I didn’t tell them now, when would I? I just looked into their faces and wanted to savor every moment.

I see them on Facebook all the time, but their in-person faces. Ahhh.

Please, if you get a chance to see people you care deeply about, tell them. Show them. It won’t hurt to tell them multiple times. It helps counteract some of the negativity. I’m glad Lee, Martha, and I got to do it.

I’m committed to telling everyone I see that I care about how much they mean to me now, while I can.

Savor the Highlights

I admit it. I’m spending some time feeling sad about how my dogs are feeling. Goldie is limping more, and Harvey has gone downhill since he couldn’t get downstairs yesterday. He seems confused about why his legs aren’t acting correctly right now. We are, too.

We still don’t know if the lump on his leg, a back injury, a stroke, or his liver issues that are causing his problems, but we are medicating him as hard as we can.

Goldie’s lump is bothering her more, so her meds haven’t done much. Tomorrow we are taking her to a facility in College Station to get X-rays and scans to see what they find. I hope that will help us figure out how to proceed. I’m thankful Tarrin is advising us, since she knows many veterinarians, and is dealing with her own dog challenges.

It was darn good to have some positive work things to balance this out with. I solved a thorny problem in a project that made me feel smart. Then a package arrived that contained my gift from my employer for being a good contractor last quarter. They wrapped it all fancy and festively, and I appreciated it. Being acknowledged for hard work is rare in contract work, so I’m not all cynical like I might be if it was more common. This was a real highlight.

Other than that, I just did my best to enjoy my animal buddies and breathe. They always make my daily highlight reel.

Morning horses and Fiona. Apache is filthy from rolling in mud.

You can’t help but smile when you have hummingbirds and calves to look at and every flycatcher in the area to listen to. Hooray for fewer flies!

Having a balance in life can help you get through challenges. I know so many of you readers are also facing challenges. This time of year seems to bring illnesses, loss of loved ones (humans and animals), and financial woes. Noticing beauty, kindness, and generosity can go a long way toward negotiating change and challenge and bring highlights to a low time.

Vlassic took a nice dip in the pool this afternoon.

She Cares

Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.

I’d love it if people said about me that I cared about others. Other stuff, well, we look different to everyone we interact with.

And sometimes I look goofy. This is me and my friend Phyllis pretending we’re eagles, because for some reason we were given eagle pins for bring Master Naturalist past Presidents.

I did manage to gussy myself up enough to approve of my hair and outfit for the party I was at this evening. As always, the Master Naturalist holiday party was fun, and it sure was nice to have it in one of the buildings our family worked on.

I enjoyed all the awards and recognition for people who worked so hard the past year. There were some heartfelt thanks for long-time officers who are moving on to let others do their jobs (some quite happily), and lots of happiness with new volunteers. I’m still the secretary, but enjoyed getting my eagle pin for being President, since I did it during COVID.

Alan is telling us why we are bald eagles

There were two things that touched me. One was that Catherine, who has commented often here in the past, gave me a beautiful old copy of O Pioneers! by Willa Cather. She said Cather reminded her of me. This is a book I’ve always meant to read-read, since I first read it when I was very young and don’t remember much except there were Swedish people in it. What a nice gift.

The second one was that I got the WOW iNaturalist award for the month from Linda Jo, our iNat cheerleader. It was for all the observations I got in the Pollinator BioBlitz in October. I didn’t think anyone had noticed that I did really well in it, but she did. I felt so good!

We did the Yankee gift swap thing as usual. I got my gift by stealing. It’s a cute glass birdbath I can use by the pool. My favorite part of the gift was a wooden dove that says “peace” that was part of the wrapping. Photos later.

I sure enjoyed my time with the generous and talented friends I’ve made in this program. I hope they know I’m saying nice things about all of them.

Feelings about Horse Friends

The minute I saw Tarrin today for my lesson, I knew something was wrong. Sure enough, she’d just found out that a horse in our little community had passed away suddenly. The feelings that went through me right then awakened a deep truth in me.

A very brief weather event brought us comfort. Photo by Tarrin.

I realized that I feel connections with horses I know just like I do people. And I liked this horse very much. He was brave, funny, and very cool, not to mention gorgeous. And he’d had such an interesting life; he was a circus horse! He was lucky to spend his final years with a human who was devoted to him and learned so much to help him out.

I didn’t know him as well as Tarrin or Sara, who spent lots of time with him at shows and educational events, but I liked him, like I would a person. Yeah, I don’t know exactly why, but I cared about him a lot! I’m grieving for him and his human like I do when people I care about pass.

Don’t let anyone tell you animals are “just animals.” We can connect with them, too. The hardest part about having companion animals in our lives is knowing their lives tend to be shorter than ours. I still deeply miss my departed dogs.

My heart goes out to our community member who lost her equine friend. I sure gave all mine extra hugs today, even if they were all sweaty.

Sweaty me and sweaty Apache, with an extra cool cloud.

All our connections are meaningful. Go hug a dog, a cat, a horse, a human, or whatever living creature matters to you.

You’re Doing the Best You Can

A couple of folks in my circle need to hear this.

YOU ARE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN

Yep. You may have screwed up. You may not meet others’ expectations. You may not be able to do all the things for all the people (or animals) you wish you could.

Here’s Dusty doing the best he can do jump this huge (to him) pole.

I think you’re fine. I’m glad you’re trying. I know you’ll keep doing your best. Thanks.

Mabel did her best picking up her feet and enduring painful body work today.

We all are challenged and fall short sometimes. But like Tarrin told me today about our horses, making someone’s life a little better is success. (She helped my horses today on what was a hard day for her, so I really appreciate it. She did so much good today.) We can all show we care and help out someone who is struggling.

Here’s the face of someone whose life is great now.

You? I bet you’ve done some good recently. Bring up those memories when disappointments try to bring you down. You matter to me, even if I don’t know you.

Blessed be.